1. This site uses cookies. By continuing to use this site, you are agreeing to our use of cookies. Learn More.

Permanent chastity

Discussion in 'The Tower' started by shadowman6, Jun 30, 2017.

  1. Mistress Jules

    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
    Staff Member Moderator

    Oct 27, 2013
    Likes Received:
    Trophy Points:
    Company Director and Professional Dominatrix
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Home Page:
    Much as the question of studies could go back and forth for ever, I have another question. @shadowman6@shadowman6 also mentioned being locked into permanent chastity. Personally I would have thought that was a bigger problem.

    We have so many stories of guys being locked for varying lengths of time, however the nature of being locked differs for many. I class being locked as 24/7 therefore there will be no one who is locked by me who will be locked for much more than 3-4 weeks without the device being taken off for safety and hygiene reasons and to check for abrasions.

    Others class being locked as through the day only, others still are only locked when not at work etc etc.

    Is being locked into permanent chastity a realistic possibility?
    lockit likes this.
  2. I have had skin issues that I wasn't even aware of until device was removed. Luckily mine is at least removed for grooming and inspection by the 3 week mark.

    I think n vet removing a device would end poorly at some point. And even if I wanted to keep it on, my kh wouldn't allow me to treat her things so poorly.

    She once wrote "I expect you to treat my things with respect and expect it to remain in pristine condition while I'm not using it."
    Mash2214, lockit and Mistress Jules like this.
  3. If you have made it clear to her that you don't require an orgasm ever. Let it ride, let her decide when and if you will ever have another Orgasm. If she's in Control than its not your decision when and if you get an Orgasm. By telling her never you are still topping from the bottom. Give yourself to her and see what she wants to do with you. She may want to punish you someday by making you masturbate 5or 6 times in one day
    Nicoftime likes this.
  4. Haha wouldn't that be something...masterbation as punishment...like being told to smoke the whole carton of smokes after being caught.

    Would be difficult for me, when younger I used to do it until it would bleed, have dry orgasms, and still do it one more time just in case.
    boisub likes this.
  5. actually there are many studies out there with large numbers of participants that address your issues. not that you have to accept them but they tend not to agree with you at all. my puck is a great researcher and i have had him getting the actual studies for years. he is also very good at connecting the dots and accurately predicting the outcomes long before they are completed. he is extremely skeptical of all info and before he is convinced of any results he needs to see it confirmed by many sources. our daughter is a science professor at a university and she sends us all the studies related as well. the two of them often take opposing sides and try to win the debate. can't ask for better info.
    she is home for the holiday and i showed them your point of view. neither one would debate your side. they said it is without foundation and is wishful thinking (eggheads tend to be condescending when they think they are right). it is a rare occasion that they both completely agree.
    still they are not experts and every one is entitled to their opinion. their advice was for me to tell you to seek out proof that you are not right and you will be overwhelmed. if not then you will know your right. if you follow their advice and if you can prove them wrong please send me the info. i would love to see egg on their faces then.
  6. I heard about that study it was done by the " boisub institute " Good one Mr CEO
  7. Without using so few words what I was trying to say and qualify for the pedeantic is that there has not been and there is not likely to be any fully comprehensive study where the results of which would be of use to people like ourselves have been used to produce conclusions upon which the 'experts' agree.

    Without wishing to upset or offend anyone... Unfortunately (or not dependent on your point of view) however you look at things if you produce a short statement about something some will discuss it or comment on it on its face value... some will pick it to pieces ignoring the issue... if you make a long statement trying to pre-address the likley comments of the pedantic SOME will really try to pick it to pieces without having assimilated what you said their responses addressing your statement rather than the content of your statement. This may be a good or bad thing at times... but I digress

    There is no escaping the fact that;
    Currently, YES there have been SOME studies of SOME the aspects of direct interest to us BUT their effects and their effects in combination with each other have produced little of direct use to those of us involved in ejacualtion control in any way.

    All I was trying to say is; AS far as complications re the prostate go; There is not enough information for us to know whether or not it is completely safe to indulge in TTWD and to what degree we may do so. Nor do I think there will ever be studies done that will produce guidance if direct use to us and our kink.

    Here's two old studies that is an ateempt to clarify things between them just cause more debate.


    Maybe it is just best to do what feels right to you.
  8. The reality is that permenant chastity is more fantasy than reality.
    I was very involved in our local and regional BDSM communities. And good friends with someone who was very involved in a chastity sub culture.
    Of all the people I met, I only met one that actually went more than 365 days without orgasm. And he was allowed supervised release from his devices for cleaning. He had a full belt and a few cages. Usually he wore the belt but as mentioned above there were times that he was put in the others. Either for health reasons or the amusement of his Mistress.

    Now I'm not saying "permenant" isn't possible. I will go just short of that and say the idea of putting on a device and never taking it off isn't practical, and not a reality as the real world gets in the way.

    So when I hear "permenant" and consider it "real" I equate it to a complete lifestyle. One that involves removing a device for cleaning, for health reasons etc. When I see keep it on and never take it off, I immediately tune on as to me it's noting more than fantasy or wishful thinking.

    Personally I'm not interested in fantasy. I know some love fiction and that's great. That's why there's a story forum. As a practical person, I prefer hearing actual experiences, and personal journeys.

    For those really looking to do permenant, there are members who live the lifestyle and can offer real advise from their experiences.

    For the record, the longest I've gone without an orgasm is 30 days. And my next goal is a year. Ideally at some point I'll give them up, but I don't see that happening anytime soon.
    Nicoftime and Mistress Jules like this.
  9. I've been locked since the 9th February. I'm let out to clean once a week which is supervised and My Mistress milks me twice a month for protrate health. I consider that "permanent". I have slept every night locked since the 9th and my ring has never been removed. My Mistress has no intention of letting me out until my 60th birthday in just over 9 years time, don't honestly believe she could do much more
    tomf_22033 likes this.
  10. It goes to show how different we all interprete the same words.

    Permanent: one person sees never coming off
    one person sees grooming removal
    one person sees always on unless
    she removes it forever.

    It's like an ink blot...people see what they want or what they have. 5 weeks has been my longest lock up, but to be honest, wish it would have been less cause I missed an irritation that kept me out of cage for a week. If I wouldn't have checked it could have even been worse.

    I guess my ink blot says mine is permanent in that we won't be stopping, and that from now on it only comes off when she allows.
  11. I think the term permanent means that it is a permanent fixture in the relationship whether it comes off from time-to-time or if it stays on forever. After all, when you give your wife permission to take away your say so, then in effect you agree to possible permanent chastity. Unless you are just playing with chastity and ideas. For us, this is a lifestyle. One set out from the beginning. For me the decision for him to be chaste and his submission to it, is the same for me as him asking to be married. We are married for life and this is an extension of our marriage contract. No game just life. Now, he can back out just the same way as one can end a marriage. But I know that he won't because he has fully given this aspect of himself to me and knows how important it is to me. I am very grateful of it and he has his rewards. However, they almost never involve his beautiful penis. He has had hard times and thrown a few tantrums but we weathered them. I have denied frantic angry demands to remove the device. In the end he thanked me for being strong when he was not and apologized for being selfish. Now if those trials continued for too long, then I would have granted his demand but would have been very upset. So in short, does he have a choice? Yes and no. Is it permanent? As far as I'm concerned...Absolutely!
  12. @thekeyholderwife@thekeyholderwife
    Thank you for the insight; you're relationship with your husband is pretty much exactly what I'm looking to have with my wife. The only difference here is that I suggested this and have had to convince her that it is not a punishment and it's not a fetish. It's the relationship I want to have with her. So, do I plan on having a cage on my penis at all times forever? No (although she's been pretty pleased since I asked her to lock me up...), but is chastity a permanent part of the plan? Yeah, I think it is; she already said so. Will I ever get another orgasm? I honestly don't know; she's digging the control she has, and she has noted how much happier and less stressed I've been of late, and she has been more aware of the fact that I am a rare bird in that I get sexual satisfaction from her getting hers; I'd rather give her orgasms than receive one myself...so, all that to say, I think chastity is here to stay...

    Thank you for your kind assistance, I do appreciate it
  13. Permanent as in the device never, ever comes off is impractical. There are hygiene issues to tend to. The man might need surgery at some point. Many reasons why a device might need to be removed whether the couple likes it or not.

    Case in point: my wife's greatest desire is that I would be chaste the rest of my life. She adores it and wants nothing less. However, we currently use a Holy Trainer, which tends to get stinky pretty quickly. She hates offensive odors and is pretty strict about me keeping things clean down there. This requires frequent removal to get a thorough cleaning.

    After nearly two years of mostly full time wearing this thing, I'm getting kind of tired of the hassle. I would like to upgrade to something more hygiene friendly. But I have no delusion that even a better device won't need to be removed occasionally. I might go from removing once per day to once per week or maybe even once per month, but I am not expecting a maintenance free life.
    gary170 and tomf_22033 like this.
  14. We have had many conversations over the last two years about stress levels. My wife has also noticed that the longer I go without an erection or orgasm, the less stressed I seem to be. However, she has also noticed that if she goes too long without giving me some attention, I start getting stressed again.

    My wife has also used the term "rare bird" when commenting on how delighted she is with my willingness to get my pleasure from hers. However, in all honesty, I didn't like it very much at first and we had some clashes about my chastity. I wasn't really fond of not getting to have erections or use my cock during sex. I kept wanting to negotiate; if you have X number of times with me locked up then I get Y number of times not locked up. It took about 9 months or so before I got used to chastity enough to stop fighting with her about wanting to use my penis.

    Permanent chastity, or even long term chastity, takes time. I don't think most couples can just jump right into it. It takes time to adjust. It's kind of like marriage. It takes time to make it good. When you first start both of you are two separate individuals, but if you remain committed and work at it you eventually become one together.
    RexVa and shadowman6 like this.
  15. @Shepherdsflock@Shepherdsflock
    I've had the "advantage", I guess is the best term, of realizing early on that I am no stud...don't get me wrong, I love sex, I adore the female body as a priceless work of art, but I am not good at sex. Getting into chastity to learn how to please my wife without using my penis has been somewhat liberating...I desperately want to please her, and I feel bad for failing her, so at least with her actively denying my orgasm, I remain interested and ready to try again...she gets to call the shots. I prefer it that way, and so does she...
  16. Well be careful what you wish for, what you described in the beginning was “permanent” chastity but with regular tease&denial and edging. What thekeyholderwife describes in her ingenious fanfics is just denial, without even erections for months on end. Could you handle that?

    When you say “I am a rare bird in that I get sexual satisfaction from her getting hers” that’s predicated on you being edged with some regularity, and I take it you would have a different position if it were just denial. You want to give her control but expects a certain treatment in return, which is perfectly natural in a reciprocal relationship.

    My point is, make sure these expectations are thoroughly discussed and you are both on the same page. You don’t want to give her a blank check only to find out her idea of “permanent” is different from yours, think about what you want from this and set your goals and limits upfront.

    And really, unless she is some sort of hellspawn that wants to atrophy your penis, you should be just fine with a verbal agreement, no need for a contract (although having a written document can help settle disputes, which invariably appear when you're going for the long term)
  17. As someone who has spent many months locked without erections or penile stimulation, I think in the context of long term chastity or permanent chastity, it seems easier psychologically to not be able to have erections or penile teasing. After a while any stimulation of the penis gets really intense. In my opinion, too intense. At least for me it inflames desires for ejaculation and intercourse. And those desires can become consuming to the point where I will manipulate my wife in any way can to get it.

    My wife knows that she's in for a struggle with me if she plans on allowing me out. So, it is very infrequently that she allows that. Only if she thinks I deserve a rare treat.
  18. People are so militant (strict, unyielding) at times about how things SHOULD be which doesn't necessarily work or make sense in the real world. If it works for you, great! If it doesn't work for someone else, it will be okay.

    I love what TheKeyHolderWife said about it being permanently a part of the relationship. Now the fantasy mind would (for some) love a world where the lock is applied, the keys are thrown into a deep canyon so that his lust is eternal and his desire to service her is never ending. The real world usually doesn't work like that but it beats the hell out of ignoring each other while watching TV.

    Perhaps we might consider the definition of permanently chaste as your keyholder deciding your fate and leaving it up to the couple to decide what works for them.
    shadowman6 likes this.
  19. @Doug Scibor@Doug Scibor
    Sounds good to me...
  20. Here's one variation on the Urethral bypass. In my books, as permanent as possible without lopping them off.
    ineverknew likes this.
  21. sorry, double post removed

    Attached Files:

  22. Ive always liked the idea of the urethral bypass but sadly its just not very realistic for most people. Damn sexy though :p
  23. Yes, I'm definitely sure about that.

    It's a thing for the most extreme masichists and other people that can endure this extreme frustration.

    It took me about 10 years and a lot, lot of time locked in my steel chastitybelt to finally decide that I will be ready to be locked for the rest of my life.

    With sharp metal spikes inside, a very strong secured padlock and nothing never ever be able to be touched again while locked.

    I put my keys for the grab and that makes me enjoy every orgasm to the max for sure. Next to this I have an extreme sex-drive diagnosed by a specialist. That is what chastity makes my ultimate masocistic experience.

    The idea of getting locked forever is not to discribe, and I'm really scared for that final moment, but it's possible and not causing any harm to the body. It's 'just' the torture of the endless lust thst never stops teasing you and no one ever will be able to stop it...
  24. Training these spikes now, but almost no progression. So damn hard. But all keyholders I have had loved these spikes so much and have used them in my belt. But I will never get used to them I'm affraid..

    Attached Files:

  25. This nicely sums things up for us too. We just went away for a few days and, before we went, my wife said some relaxed sex was on the menu. Having last allowed me an orgasm in February I was really excited to hear her say this. It turned out that she really just meant pussy worship and orgasms for her followed immediately by watching Wimbledon!