How to make him feel owned?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Dogchasecats, Sep 16, 2018.

?

Is it important for him to feel owned?

  1. Yes

    97.8%
  2. No

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  1. Dogchasecats
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    Dogchasecats Princess Elizabeth
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    So he was telling me He likes when he feels owned. I guess this is normal right? I have some ideas on how to go about this but it is hard for me to think like him. Because of this are there any suggestions you might have to share to make him feel more owned?
     
  2. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    Yes very important! I need it and I am lucky that my wife feels the same
     
  3. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    It felt silly at first, and I was willing to try it out, but a collar does wonders for that feeling.

    I’m not talking about sexy play time, I’m talking about full on rule that he must wear his collar in the home, not unlike a pet. We don’t have this rule, and I’ve only worn mine a few times, but the thought of initiating a new rule or routine does turn me on to the idea.

    A big leather one probably wouldn’t work if you have children, but they do have day collars he can wear under a shirt.

    There is also something about marking someone, be it hickies, a red fanny, sharpie , tattoos...makes a huge statement that “I own this, and if someone gets close enough to notice, they will know too”.
     
  4. Cincy
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    Cincy Active member

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    I call my wife a soft dominant because she would never do anything to hurt me, and lately I see a very small change in her attitude, and I like it. We are both retired, and all day long I try to do little things for her. Her attitude now is that she takes it for granted "well that's what a submissive is required to do for his mistress". I couldn't agree more, and yes it makes me feel owned.
     
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  5. PauloChaste
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    PauloChaste Living the chaste life

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    Very simila to my wife and I! She is a gentle soul at heart but like you I try to do as much as possible and she has become accustomed to it and now expects and if tells me off if I have not done certain jobs on time!! Perfect!
     
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  6. Couple4517
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    Couple4517 Member

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    I had not thought of it that way but when my girlfriend leaves a love bite on my neck she sometimes makes a remark which sounds to the effect of ownership. I just hadn't thought of it that much but I like it when she says that.
     
  7. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    Tattoo. Get something that lines up with your relationship and counter to his externalized view of "him". If you are female-led, a feminist fist ... enjoy cuckolding .... Spade with a cursive B. Like the BDSM kink .... slave ownership etc. Also, you can use it like "badges" of honor as he earns them.

    If pain is part of your role play, or you need a punishment get a tattoo on his "penis" ... e.g make it with a ruler set of marking or other things ornamental. You own his "man hood" so that means you should be able to accessorize it.

    Nipple piercings .... collars and other fun things.

    If you want him to evolve to a higher power .... there is always a feminization way ... e.g. make him always wear pantyhose. Other things could be the only hair allowed on his body could be his head, facial or a landing strip.

    The ideas I am sharing here is that he does not own how his body looks, you do. You should tell him how he needs to keep his body. This also goes down to body fat percentage, and certain appearances.

    If he likes ownership .... his reading material and other things he needs to learn. For example, feminist theories are fantastic. The big thing is for him to understand to love you and everything about you ... he needs to know and understand the female gender.

    So ... what he reads, how he eats, how he maintains his personal appearance is all key. The other thing is (and this is the most important) .... he needs to want to do this ....

    Don't know if that helps ... but that is my food for thought.
     
  8. Penney
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    Penney Active member

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    Put him in panties!

    It all started there for us many years ago. I was going away on a trip, unfortunately my wife couldn't go. She decided that she would have a little fun, so I was told to throw out each pair of my male underwear at the end of each day after I had worn them. Since she had packed my bag she knew exactly how many pair I had.

    Near the end of my trip I was out of my underwear. So I called home and told her this, she said I was to go and buy some new underwear--only it had to be women's panties, and not just plain ones! She wanted to see lacy ones when I got home. I did as I was told, embarrassing as it was, and finished my trip in panties and then flew home from Europe in new panties.

    When I got home all of my male underwear was gone, she had thrown out every pair. Soon after we went to the Victoria Secret store and she helped me pick out my new underwear. I've been in panties ever since. Early on if I tried to be bossy or controlling I was reminded who was in panties, even required to drop my pants and show her. Pretty hard to argue with your wife standing there in pink lacy panties. Oh yeah, and required to shave my boy parts smooth.

    A tattoo on my bottom followed soon after, and pegging.
     
  9. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    Take control of when and if he has an orgasms. Locking up his cock ( your property) is a must. Have him serve your needs and desires and when he doesn’t you need to punish him in someway shape or form. If this is What he wants and what you want all the other inner details will find away of working out.

    Your relationship is unique to you. How you develop it is under Your control.
     
  10. Joey love
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    Joey love Active member

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    Comes as no surprise to me that the vote is unanimous for ownership
     
  11. Steviepie
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    Steviepie Being developed for mental submission to Ms. Lucy

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    tattoos are nice...….branding is a bit harsher
     
  12. Digital
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    Digital Patient Observer

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    I think most people like to feel needed and wanted. From a dominant perspective they enjoy feeling worshiped and desired so naturally a submissive would enjoy feeling owned.

    Wanting to feel owned is his way of letting you know he is there for you to help and support you. He wants to feel you're connection.

    As for ways to help him feel owned I'm sure it can be fairly easy when in your presence when he can wear collars, kinky clothing and follow schedules but it's probably when he is alone in the vanilla world the connection feels faintest.

    Maybe a simple neck chain or a watch engraved with words relating to your ownership might help him feel the connection. If you want something more interactive maybe use a fitness tracker and tell him each step he makes in this world he does for you. Encourage him to hit certain targets and if he falls short send him on little errends to help him catch up.
     
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  13. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    @Dogchasecats ... Great question! Loving the answers! Lots of triggers.

    A lot of this felt silly at first.
    Acceptance of the unusual takes time.
    At least it did for me.

    I have a few tattoos - nothing about being owned.
    We have talked about getting one together that symbolizes 'us'.
    We have decided what we want & where ... just the when remains.
    I like this idea.
    Branding ... hmmm :)

    This was a big one for me.
    I remember when She first had me start wearing hers - I DID feel owned! They were tight & it was a constant reminder!
    And now, I haven't worn guy underwear for decades!

    This was how my 'Pavlovian Conditioning' began.
    At first it started as a kink - for me.
    It was never a kink for her - she saw me as a male who could be 'educated'.

    Me recollections of being 'owned'.
    The Mistress who brought TND/Chastity to my life (back in college) was serious about the role. Through consistent behaviors & regular statements, She made clear that I belonged to her:
    She commanded me rather than ask.
    She gave me lectures on FLR.
    She assigned 'Servitude' chores (because males served women).
    She was possessive of my body parts (in her words, I was only the 'Custodian' of a penis, testicles & semen). This was true of my hands and tongue too.
    Because these body parts were Hers, She could command the Custodian to use them as she wished.

    The love of my life of the past 25 years is not an 'Ownership' Domme per se - but appreciates the benefits of all that I was taught in my youth.
     
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  14. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    all of this is in the mind for me, which is why I'm not big on cages, and have no interest in punishments or tease and denial and those sorts of things. Nothing wrong with them, but they do nothing for me.

    I only want that mental connection. I want her to say "do" and I say "yes". I want her to look and I know.
     
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  15. Mistress Jules
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    Mistress Jules Professional Dominatrix and Owner of Lockit
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    For us it is a rather subtle way of doing things. Very often when we are together we are vanilla as we go about daily business.

    However, he has his slave number tattooed on his chest with me as his registered owner. Most of the time I ask politely for things to be done and they are done. Very often he does without me asking, his purpose is to look after me, make my life easier and support me in my endeavours. This he does constantly and quietly, but I know he does it and it does make a difference to know he is making these efforts.

    It isn't often I have to growl but it doesn't take take much, a change in my tone of voice, a certain look and he knows that Jules is in control and his behaviour should reflect this.

    He is mine, there is no doubt or question about that.
     
  16. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Member

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    I have a titanium bracelet permanently on my ankle. My wife has made it clear I will NEVER be allowed to take it off, unless for some sort of medical issue. It's quite noticeable at the beach, the pool, even when I wear socks. Not a single soul has ever asked me about or even mentioned it. I have seen people focus on it intently, but that is it. I used to wonder what I would say if asked, but it's apparent people just don't bring it up.

    She has said she wants to tattoo me (and I very much want that) but has not done so, at least not yet...
     
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  17. Skywalker41918
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    Skywalker41918 Active member

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    The first time I heard my wife/KH say to me (I own you) it sent chills throughout my entire body it was such a turn on that I still love it to this day when she says it
     
  18. John
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    John Member

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    Got at one point forced to wear panties under my clothes. Must admit I felt owned. Even without chastity. Since had no choice but to wear them
     
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  19. Mistress Belle
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    Mistress Belle Mistress Belle

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    Brand him! Lock him until he begs you to give him your mark of ownership. I had my sub tied up, went into the kitchen to get my gear, distracted him by a fine milking, and took him right then and there. He was amazed and gloated about it all week. Come to think of it, it's time to refresh and re brand my property. But I dont want him to get any pleasure knowing it will come soon, so I will again take him by suprise.
     
  20. Skywalker41918
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    Skywalker41918 Active member

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    what does it look like the bracelet
     
  21. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Member

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  22. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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  23. Submissive_Michelle
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    Submissive_Michelle Good Sissies wear Skirts and high heels

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    Where did you brand him and how deep were the brand marks. I have heard about slave brands being almost 0.5cm deep which would be quite painfull and very visible and to the touch which I guess is the intent.
     
  24. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Her Locked Little Boy

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    A simple way that my wife Miss Shelly keeps me owned and under her control is by being unpredictable, that’s not having a set routine or a certain time that she’ll do things or have me do things to serve her. For example. In our bed room our disciplinary tools are in one side of the closet, the door has an interesting squeak when ever I’m in the kitchen or living room and hear that sound the hair on my neck stands up. She may be going into the closet for a number of reasons but I never know until she comes out of the bed room.

    She also is unpredictable by sending me texts periodically, the last one she sent me a couple days ago was “Send pic of my property now” I was in a public meeting and had to excuse my self and go to the washroom.
     
  25. Greg Goltz
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    Greg Goltz New member

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    It is as much your attitude as your actions. If you don’t feel like you own him then he won’t feel owned. This is a shared relationship after all. Work on changing your attitude towards the situation and then talk to him and tell him he is owned. The rest should come naturally. It will only work if you want to own him.
     
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