It really is about her you know!

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mandynjack, Apr 25, 2018.

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  1. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    @L-u-c-y has told you, so will I. When you really get into genuine FLR, your needs are not on the table. So lock them up in the same cage your little cock lives. This is our world now;)
     
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  2. skD
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    skD HausCuck

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    I am certainly seeing that. Recently, I had an issue with the motor on our boat. It ticked me off. I got somewhat snippy when I returned home. She looked at me and said, this is now a FLM dynamic and that behavior is no longer permitted. It was rather incredible to hear her say these words after a decade or more of her being my submissive. It is getting real.
     
  3. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    If you could shorten that up, it would be great for a t shirt!
     
  4. LockedPom
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    LockedPom Active member

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    Plenty of MLFLRs on this forum ;-)
     
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  5. demale
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    demale Active member

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    As a completely submissive husband to a dominant but loving wife, I have no patience for men who willingly agree to enter into an FLR and then whine about the reality. You do what she says, always and without question. We subbies are privileged to have women willing to direct our lives.
     
  6. JiL
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    JiL servitude4u

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    Funny you should put it that way. At times, my mind becomes as little as my cock, and so I see what's locked in the cage as my only need. And some would argue I should just eliminate that need too. lol.... What other needs I may have I do truly try to keep to myself , minimize, or eliminate in some way. Truly, It is best that way. But I always love to here what's on your mind Mandy.
     
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  7. Mr M
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    Mr M Active member

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    @Mandynjack, most incorrectly fantasize FLR as lots of kinky sex, and are shocked when it turns out to be about a dominant and submissive. I would just add, it takes a strong man to take a kinky spanking, it takes an even stronger one to give up himself in real service of her. Submission is not weakness, it is commitment.
     
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  8. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    @Mandynjack , you are quite correct. However, @Mr M is also correct when he says many men still fantasise about this life as being full of kink and sex and gratification. It's hard to see what part of FLR they're missing, but it's an undeniable truth all the same.
     
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  9. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    Are there different levels of FLR/M do you think? Or maybe some take a longer time to evolve than others. I am definitely not in a full FLM yet and perhaps never will be. Mrs Chaste is definitely in charge on the sex side and likes to tell me "its all about me". There are times when she may be working or off out for the day and I'm at home with nothing planned when she tells me to do different chores for her naked except for my floral apron that she bought for me. I'm expected to provide video evidence for her as well. But to be honest in the past I would do chores if asked, its just in a more "kinky" way and by order now. She has threatened to chain me to the ironing board as well (she doesn't enjoy ironing) which is different but I hope she does it! Again though if asked I would do it for her anyway. And all this only happens if I'm not doing anything else that I'd planned. I think we are moving more towards her "ordering" me to do things but I'm definitely not really submissive. We are more roleplaying I think, where as from what I understand FLR/M is not really like that! Right I'll stop my rambling now! Whatever it is we are doing we are both enjoying, let's see where we end up! :) :love: :lockkey:
     
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  10. PouchPantyLover
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    PouchPantyLover Active member

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    I agree with you @Chaste J. and will take it a step further. How does one embark on a FLR if it is an all or nothing proposition? There is always a learning curve. I'd also add that saying a man in an FLR has no needs is simply not true. We can deny ourselves, we can endeavor to provide proper service in the face of no reciprocation, but unless you get your brain turned off you're still human and thus still have the same things driving you. I'd argue that a man that sets his needs aside to serve his lady is being more submissive than the one who pretends he has none. I've said it before and I'll say it again. One couples FLR is not an iron clad description for anothers. Feel good about what works for you and trust your key holder.
     
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  11. Ilikebond
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    Ilikebond Member

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    Ours definitely isn't a FLR. I am to submit to her anytime sexually and love to do it. But in normal life we are pretty much equals and she will defer to me on some things. Big purchases are always decided to together.

    But if she tells me to strip and submit to being tied up I do exactly as she asks.
     
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  12. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    True! We live that everyday at our house!
     
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  13. Mandynjack
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    Mandynjack Active member

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    :) I didn't say men had no needs, they're just not primacy in a FLR. Of course we know you have needs, it's just that we choose to put them off the table and accept your unreserved devotion and obedience. Let's be honest, if your brain was turned off, where's the fun in that. Your expectations are surely met by not knowing whether we will allow you some consideration?
     
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  14. At all Times
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    At all Times At all Times

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    I think it takes time for both sides to get into whatever their own FLR means for them. I am still learning that my submission has to absolute and that I must not argue back or and accept her point of view. I have offered myself to my wife as her "maid and personal servant", and as such I must remain obedient and submissive to her needs at all times. And if that means always pleasing her and agreeing with her, then so be it...
     
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  15. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    So really FLR/M can vary from couple to couple. Some relationships the male is completely submissive and others mainly if not exclusively limit it to the bedroom. Its very interesting to hear about the different ways that couples "do it". Like most lifestyles there is no right or wrong way, as long as you both enjoy it. Especially the lady! :love:
     
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  16. Breathe
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    Breathe Wife, Owner, Dom/me, and KH of _and_smile

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    Couldn't agree more.
     
  17. Femcontrol5
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    Femcontrol5 Learning and loving it

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    As right and as true as it gets madam Mandy. You understand this way of life completely. :)
     
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  18. Miss-Kimberley
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    Very true! And you should remember there are literally hundreds of guys behind you, who would kill to be in your position.
     
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  19. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    I agree there. Its like anything really. If you ask for it and convince your partner that its the way you want to go then its no good bitching about it. If I said to Mrs Chaste I didn't want to be locked in chastity anymore her initial reaction is going to be "NO!" and quite right to, but if I kept on she would eventually say "whatever" and let me out. She would be rightly pissed off as it was me who bought it up and she really has taken it up and enjoys it. I mean you wouldn't buy her a new Porsche as a gift and keep the keys yourself! Its amazing how things develop over time and how much fun you both can have. In our case it has certainly added a whole new dimension to our marriage including elements of FLR. The FL side is still growing and will I think will eventually reach a point we are both happy with. Mind you it might be that she takes far beyond that!!!! What if she enjoys it to much? Now there's a thought. Anyway I've got to go as Mrs Chaste wants some dishes washed up!
     
  20. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    It is all very dependent on the dynamic of the relationship
    neither of these are wrong

    and I think they are not as opposite as you might think. I would be and was happy for almost all of my partners' to have free rein on just about everything but fully expected to be and was always fully involved in major decisions.


    Then I am reminded of this ....

    She makes all the little decisions and to help me out she decides what size a decision is.
    I am then be left to make the very big decisions... like would I prefer a coffee or a cup of tea
     
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  21. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Active member

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    I think in a "genuine FLR" it's understood that she knows what's best for you, and there's trust in her that she knows what your true needs are and will see they are met. Makes life a lot easier, trusting in her, if she's at the point she wants to take that control. If you feel your needs aren't being met, well, then they probably aren't needed, right?
     
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  22. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    To borrow a line from the movie Apocalypse Now ... "Absolutely goddamn right".


    My commitment is to put my wants aside and be of service to the love of my life so she can relax and enjoy each day.

    I must admit, the challenge of subduing ones certain biological urges has its rewards.

    Political statements aside ... I heard the song "Tomorrow Belongs To Me" when I read "This is our world now;)" ... LOL
     
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  23. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Repeating my new mantra: "Her perceived ambivalence is a product of Her superiority. Embrace it and accept your anxiety as a byproduct of Her new status."
     
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