Too much fantasy

I like looking at cocks in chastity.

 

Why is this a stretched story?

 

I guess it's because Mr 613 is an orgasm counter.

Mrs Edge is blessed with the ability to have orgasms like a Chicago voter: early and often. Back when we were first dating I used to keep track, but I simply don't have room in my head for that anymore. I know that it's "a few" or "a bunch," and she stops me when she's satisfied. I only care about getting her there, not how many stops are along the way.

 

How odd. I would have gone the other way. Anyone who can "precisely" specify the number of orgasms of their partner may be suffering from implausible precision.

 

I can't remember what I had for dinner last week; I certainly do not have the memory storage capacity for:

But then, my wife can remember what we ordered for dinner in a restaurant in which we last dined a few years ago ("Don't get the pulled chicken, you said you didn't like the barbecue sauce."), so... there's that.

 

Yes. This just goes to show that implausibility is in the mind of the beholder.

 

I really believe one persons fantasy can be someone elses reality. I'm a relative newbie here but derive pleasure, and sometimes learn, from all the different posts. Nobody needed to warn me that not all are 100% true - thats the internet.

"There are no Chastity Police" a wise member once informed me. I think this site serves the community better by keeping it that way, and by supporting each other.

 

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA I love this.

 

This is an excellent point. I can tell pretty quickly when a sub is just typing out some fantasy rather than what the day to day of chastity looks like.

 

Another good give away ive noticed is the emergancy key...that is usually an indicator that one is still living the fantasy and not the reality...

 

Actually I don't have an emergency key and I'm as real as rain. Wait, that's right as rain? Wife has two keys, one she keeps with her and one she has hidden around the house somewhere. She did ask me what I would do if she suddenly dropped dead. I said mourn.

 

First few hours in real chastity as I am also pierced, not a kinky comment has passed either of our lips : joggers on , tv on and glass of wine like any other Saturday night. I have my fantasy thoughts that actually stand the chance of being reality in the future but I already have a feeling this as it is this evening will just be a normal part of my life going forward, i am sure it won’t be without it’s challenges!

 

It is self-evident from the existence of this and other sites, that many men, and I include myself, like to talk about their experiences, real or imagined, of chastity, FLR, and related subjects. Whether these are based on reality, an enhanced reality, or are purely fantasy, is not relevant. What matters is whether you enjoy the content, whether, to use John Reith's words, the site informs, educates, or entertains you.

We each apply our own judgement to what we read on any site, and we can assess what we read to be anywhere on a scale from highly plausible, to utterly ridiculous, but we will never know for certain if our judgement is correct. We all often come across content which seems to be a outside our boundaries of believeability, tales of physical or emotional cruelty, tales of public humiliation, descriptions of relationships which are at the very least, border line abusive. In those cases my scepticism kicks in and I will usually dismiss them as purely fantasy. We also read tales of devotion and love, adoration and worship, which equally may be synthetic, or genuine.

In my life with Miss A, which may with every right be dismissed as implausible or invented by other members, activities and events which a few years ago were just fantasies for me, are now realities, and normalised within our relationship. Hence the decision of what to believe, and what not to believe, is a highly subjective one, and ultimately, a decision of no consequence.

We all post what we enjoy posting, for the reasons which motivate us to share with others. None of us are forced to read what others post. This site does not award prizes for most submissive, most obedient, or most humiliated male. We are all, to a greater or lesser extent, simply trying to have a good time, and to explore aspects of the submissive, chaste, female led lifestyle which are of interest to us.

 

My boy has explained this well. For him, before meeting me, this was all fantasy. I had no idea of this lifestyle, but after a few years together, I wouldn’t live any other way. Happy Mistress = Happy boy

 

Absolute truth.

 

This post resonates with me at the moment. New to FLR (22 Sep), tiptoeing in, my wife starting to enjoy the attention, focus, me doing housework, lightening her load as much as possible. I made an issue this past weekend of “the tone” in her voice when she told me to go upstairs for intimacy. Not only is she just torqued but she questions the last 6 weeks, if it was all just a game, if I am really wanting to be submissive at all. Trying to do damage control, reassure her it is not a game, that I want to serve her with all my heart. Still waiting for her reply

 

Its just a matter of understanding that when she is vulnerable in accepting the new role, trying to flex her muscles a little or even just trying to make a new normal...any abrupt inteventions will make her feel like that power is being taken away. It will be an emotional and mental adjustment for her to entertain the idea of an FLR while not taking away your autonomy completely. But you will also have to realise that the way you had been doing things before, your opinions and desires are no longer the priority..and maybe should be muted while she is finding her strength.

Yes, this may make the sub feel used, neglected, tormented. But being reminded that she is only doing what you asked in the best way she can....by you suggesting she isnt doing it right makes her feel like youre dictating her lead/dominance, rather than following whatever comes from them. You can't have your cake and eat it too. Think of it like virginity - when we all started having sex we had watched porn and heard stories of how great and in sync it could be, but realistically we werent that good and didn't quite know how the whole thing worked, let alone our roles in the new dynamic of the relationship.
~~For example....pretend you only have missionary sex and you asked her to be on top. First time, she will be nervous because all of her body, skills and intentions will be on show.... and then saying you didn't like how she rode you, or that you want it to be more to your wants because it seemed only she was being stimulated and you were just laying there feeling used.

Being asked to do something, and then told you're wrong in how you're performing that request is deeply hurtful emotionally and mentally. Particularly if you add the stigma of dominance and power to that request, makes you feel like you shouldn't feel upset or hurt. But realistically in the sex analogy, you need time to realise you won't be like porn stars, she won't ride you like a pony without mistakes, accidentally bending your cock hurting you or not realising she isn't actually keeping you hard at all times.... she needs to realise you won't always hit the points she needs to be satisfied and in control and to learn to save face anyway because practice makes perfect.
BUT; you will eventually find your rhythm between what works for the both of you, even if it doesnt mirror the porn that gave you the idea of the position. Its just a matter of sucking it up until you get there, and supporting her confidence and vulnerability to grow - even if unfair to you - so she is strong enough to not only be able to ride you without any issue, but further try reverse cowgirl one day without the assistance of porn or your direction.

Realising that her flexing her new dom/FLR isn't about you. Its about her. Yes, this may seem (in the short term) that she is dismissive of your wants, needs or opinions. Similarly to her being on top and thinking about how it feels for her, rather than how the position feels for you....you asked for it so you get what you're given. She is fulfilling a request so its up to you to support that outcome regardless of whether its how you envisioned or not. If you don't give her time to adjust to the new role before interrupting that shes too harsh or not enough, she will think you know what, I was happy before so if I'm not doing it right and you wont let me make mistakes while im getting there, then I wont bother.

That vulnerability can be extremely damaging to her sense of self and your partnership if you don't care for it when it is damaged - thats your job in the new sphere. Not to critisise, not to say she isn't being supportive, not to say shes being dismissive. She is doing this for you at her possible self detriment, so if you have to go through it a little too while shes learning to cover all bases and be the good happy loving wife that has condifence to be in the dominant lead, then so be it. But, like a woman on top, a guy giving oral or a kid learning maths....if you keep telling them they are doing it wrong when they are just trying to figure out how it works generally and where they are best at it, they will end up hating it and be too scared to be vulnerable to try again.

You may feel like youre not an equal in that sense, but until equilibrium is achieved through practice, the one who is being asked to be put in the new vulnerable situation should be supportive until that equilibrium is reached, and youll probably find when it is getting there she will be more supportive and protective of you, rather than dismissive or controlling of outcomes knownig you will support her direction not just try to curate an outcome.

~~~Not meant to be a rant, just giving support. Don't give up, she probably doesnt mean to be abrupt but she also needs to learn what she and you feel comfortable with - including tones of voice, arguments, physicality, and not feeling like her new role will be struck down by normal you but supported by sub you.
May be hard to submit to someone when you feel it isn't for your best, but its even harder to dominate over someone who isn't enabling you to feel your best on your terms. It comes down to who asked whom. If a dom woman asked a normal man to be her sub, she needs to be allowing as he trains out unwanted bratiness, power struggles etc even if she doesn't want to dom that kind of sub, because she knows he is finding feet and knowing he can go to extremes without feeling his sense of self is going to be diminished. Same same with a sub man asking a normal woman to lead as a dom or FLR. She may be a bit overbearing and powerful but she needs to know that you'll support her transition into this new role without being critical during the process. Because remember, this is suppost to compliment and strengthen the partnership, not destroy the confidence and foundations that enabled the new roles to take place.

Just realised this was basically an essay and I probably repeated myself, soz about that

 

As I work away from home 2-5 weeks at a time, her risqué texting is welcome relief after a long day in the oil patch. It keeps things warm while we are apart. But even our intermittent times together are spent in a more mundane manner as there are usually 2-5 weeks of accumulated household things that need attention. I’ve been home since Monday morning. It’s now Thursday morning. I’ve been running errands, seeing the dentist, getting a DOT physical, doing household things like changing the a/c filter in the attic. She has worked 2 of these days. We’ve only briefly mentioned anything related to chastity as we’ve both had full days and ended up nodding off in front of the tube. I’m almost certain at least one day/evening will be more focused on either servitude, satin wear, teasing or some such, but full time sissy play just isn’t our reality.
All this being said, am I really alone when I say I enjoy at least some of the more fantasized writing here? I find it spicy, to a point. If they go overboard with things, they do lose my interest, but small doses of fantasy perk things up. I don’t know, but perhaps the real problem for the OP is being able to quickly discern which threads are real and which are pure imagination. Clicking out of a thread that you find uninteresting is not difficult. Refusing to read anything you consider fantasy also lessens the chances of learning something new that you just might find personally intriguing. Example—I personally feel many of the stories/threads concerning milking are pure rubbish, but if I had never read any of them I might never have had the opportunity to actually experience this act at all. So, I’m glad I sifted through them and learned about it. It has been a lightly used, but enjoyable addition to our sex life.
Don’t toss the baby with the bath water.

 

You are of course entitled to your own opinion on this or any other site
I would point out that in my experience most (NOT ALL) other sites have more fantasy more on sissys cross dressing and the like and more on cuckoldry if these are what you are trying to avoid .. personallly avoiding most of those most of the time is easy to pick out and read no further anything I'm not into.

But if want to look elsewhere ... There are some groups on fetlife
https://fetlife.com/groups

you might want to look at but you might have to sign up to fet first. its dead simple but you will need to give a one off use for verification mobile No.

My personal recommendation for fairly straight talk on male chastity with little and perhaps no fantasy ..unless its stated to be such would be

https://www.chastityforums.com/

Run by our very own Tom Allen

which prides itself on being far more about keholders and weares real experiences accounts and advice than many other sites.
I believe sissys crossdressers and cuckolds are welcome if they don't go on about it..
... though I might be wrong on the welcome... . Well not everybody likes them.... their forum their choice.

 

I agree. Once chastity becomes part of your everyday life was is the point of an emergency key. I like being in chastity, if I need to fly she gives me the keys. Other than that, I have no use for it. It's not a game for us it is part of our life, real as rain.

 

We don't use an emergency key either. If she keeled over dead, we do own bolt cutters.

 

I've never had an emergency key. We're not that long into our journey, and I guess we just started out without being aware that e-keys could come in handy.

Now that we've both learned about e-keys, I still don't have a desire to get one, and she hasn't brought it up either.

This doesn't make it unreal!

I think everybody interacting with other people, needs too keep in mind that we're all different, our mileages are varying.

So with all due respect: Don't be hasty to judge anyone buy your own limited experience.

And yes, I think it is limited, as you have only lived your own life! It is presumptuous to assume you can learn and experience the same in that single life, as 7 billion people has combined in their totally different lifes.

 

That 'limited experience' goes for every single one of us. That's why it's so great with a forum to learn and be inspired by other people's life experiences

 

Very true!

And it goes the other way around too...

Someone's ultimate fantasy, appearing daring and extreme to them, might be an unsatisfying, lacking in control/punishment/whatever, daily life for someone else.

We're all different, isn't it amazing

 

It's been interesting reading some of the reply's
The Internet has been a great forum for the BDSM community, but sadly you always have people who write stuff that go to far and belong in the fiction department, but look at real life you have people who live in a different world, for example our so called Members Of Parliament (UK) are on another planet ?

Again BDSM has always had the massive problem deciding what is REAL or FANTASY.