This s@#£ has just started to get real

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Jah Rubbings, Jun 12, 2021.

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  1. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    It has been nearly 9 months since L discovered my cage the morning after I first put it on. Apart from washing and release for play or sex, I have basically worn it all the time, day and night since day one. We have been married for over 23 years, I have just turned 50 and L is nearly 43. We have 2 teenage boys (14 and 17) and live in the UK.

    We have no interest in me being a cuck or sissy. And apart from a bit of spanking (for me) and the occasional bit of light bondage, we are a normal family couple looking to learn to adore each other more and more.

    L has just started reading up a bit. I have been sending her the odd article about male hormone levels, come retention and ruined orgasms from a really great website, that is geared toward women and not kink.
    www.evolveyourman.com

    I will post the links in a separate post.

    She has asked for a pause in me sending at the moment, but she has taken it on board, and we have had some good discussions. I explained what a full orgasm does to me...Careful what you wish for!"...and said

    "The question is...How often are you willing to put up with the few days of me being less attentive? If you let me have a full orgasm every few days, where is the upside for you? What is the point of it? I don't have an answer to that yet, as I think she is weighing it up.

    More later, I have to go shopping.
     
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  2. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Oh my that was a fucking hectic couple of hours...Dropped no2 son off at first aid course. Wrong place, has to rush to get him to another town 10 miles away, then rush back, look at a sofa for sale, and drop off L at the hairdressers. Then deal with no1 son thinking he knows how to run mum and dad's life. Grrrr!!! Now I also have to move 4 sofas and pick up about 6 more times in various parts of the county.
     
  4. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Anyway back to other thoughts...

    So L is definitely taking things a bit more seriously, with regard to chastity. Since having sex the Sunday after my 50th birthday party I have not had a proper full orgasm (so 20 days). Though I have had an accident ruin after she played with it, been caught self-stimulating the cage, and made love 3 times, though once I was told to lock up before finishing, and twice I remained still just before and during ejaculation, through my own choice, so as to ruin it as best as possible.

    I think there is a small drop in my hormones, but not too noticeble, depending on how ruined the orgasm was. During this time, L has been supporting my goals and reading up about things a bit more. Especially about male denial and the hormone levels, as that is the only thing that would be a motivation for her, as it affects my behavior, and makes me a better person. I shall try and resist allowing myself the pleasure of a full release, until such time as L gets used to the rhythms of my subspace. Then she can make informed decisions about the best course for us in our marriage. If it is a "full" once a month,.strangely, I'm not wondering whether I can cope with it, but...When is the best time for her? Is is in line with her own cycle perhaps? Or if it was longer? I don't think I would mind.

    After the initial thrill of wearing the device become normalised, and you get to come too often, as I have, the chastity subspace thing just doesn't work. She has been way too kind to me over the last months, being more cautious and not wanting things to move too quickly. But more recently, has commented that "where is the guy I saw for the first 2 months?". She hasn't really believed, until the last two weeks, that this really works, or understood the mechanics, so has allowed and wanted me to come far more than I deserved. Now we are "more or less" back on the same page, and I'm excited about the future, and where it will lead.

    This morning she indicated that I should spoon her, then she started pressing back into the HTv4 (Standard). The extra length, pressing gently on her lady areas from the rear felt exquisite. Then she got up. I handed her the wooden spoon, as I was having some naughty thoughts about a caged-edging-wank, and she ensured that I remembered my place. I don't enjoy the spanking, but the afterglow is incredibly arousing and humbling at the same time. I don't want to be bad afterwards.
     
  5. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    I always welcome constructive criticism, helpful advice and any feedback. Be sure to leave comments. Or DM me if you want to share something more personal.
     
  6. asastype
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    asastype Service sub to Mistress AMA

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    It sounds like you are in a good place! A good paddling does refocus the mind (and other bits, too).

    Treasure Ms L's control and enjoy your submission.

    asa
     
  7. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Thanks Asa, It has been a wooden spoon or a hairbrush so far, hard enough that I need to bite the pillow,.but she doesn't want to mark me. The afterglow and sore cheeks for a few hours is like a mental hug, makes everything feel better. I am thinking about a nice paddle. Which is worse (or better) guys? Depending on your point of view of course?
     
  8. Open2njoy
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    Open2njoy Active member

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    My thought is that you should always use the right tool for the job which in this case would be a well crafted paddle.
     
  9. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    I told her I wasn't keen on the spoon and maybe she should get a paddle. She wants a riding crop. Oh my!
     
  10. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    We had great piv sex on Sunday, and I was allowed a full orgasm. Been taking a while this week to get back to subspace.
     
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    How long did it take you to get back into subspace or a chastity frame of mind? I found being locked immediately after a full orgasm usually shortens the period. Edging without relief really shortens it. Is she the proud owner of a paddle or crop yet? I’m sure a session with either one of those would also help get you properly sorted out.
     
  12. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    We haven't had the best of weeks, been a lot of stress coming at both of us. It has taken me a long time to start feeling in the right headspace. We did have a good talk today about being more open with each other and what it is I am trying to achieve, and she probably won't be getting to come for a while. Lol. Gotta love that woman. That Goddess!

    I think she still finds the whole situation quite weird, but is very supportive in the end, and I am starting to feel that in time we will get to a place where she will have an understanding of my rhythms, which will give her the confidence to take the control she deserves and I so desperately need. More patience required I know. Not my best quality. Every day is a school day.
     
  13. homebody
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    homebody In awe of GoddesofHomebody

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    I am curious why your wife won't be able to cum for a while. Maybe I misread your post.
     
  14. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    No that's a typo. Meant me.
     
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    So shortly after the last post I ended up in the bit of a subfrenzy. As I said, we were both stressed, kids and work do get on top of us sometimes, and I was feeling a bit locked and forgotten. So we took a little break, and a reset. I had an edge or three and a couple of self-ruins, stayed uncaged (felt weird), and tried my best to not slip back into old habits, pretty successfully I might add. On 25th June I sent her this text:

    Jah: Yes, we are having a pause from things. But I thought you should know that I'm still trying to be good.
    It is probably a good thing for me to learn for myself how to maintain my hormone levels. I think that leaping into a 24/7 pattern from the outset was in someways the only way to break bad habits, but now I know the benefits (like you, I knew nothing before), and my motivation and goals have shifted, getting to the next level is tough on both of us, and the last thing I want is to burden you with too much.
    Please keep assuming that I am being good for you, and teasing is still what I'm looking for. Yes I'm going to edge myself and may have an occasional solo ruin, but this is only so that I can take the pressure off us both and help me to understand the more intense, loving, emotional, devotional and Yes, sexual feelings that accompany orgasm denial. Xxx

    After about a week of arguing and hashing things out, I was proper moody and so was she (probably rightfully so). I had a really great day with her and just had to lock it up and hand her the key.
     
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  16. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    IMG-20210701-WA0000.jpeg

    1st July 2021
    Texted: Just said "Ooh the cage is full this morning" then realised what I'd said.

    That amused her.
     
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Looking back at my texts I think I've got confused about the dates. I was out for a couple of weeks. Anyway, I've been denied just over a week, through her TofM, then Sunday just gone I had the privilege of worshipping her pussy with my tongue and she got close. I was edged but saved for later. In the morning I had a chat with her about how the different sized cages for my HTv4 affect me, and put the nub on my ring to demonstrate how subbie it makes me feel and she said. "Well you might as well stay in that" and then locked it up. Now bearing in mind that I had laminated my emergency key a few days before, this gives me goosebumps in all the right places,.even as I write.
    20210723_125209.jpg

    Monday night I licked her pussy again to some soft moans, then she told me to get the key. We made love and then sensing that she was done said that I should be stopped. A short while later and a little protestation from Little Jah, and I was told to come out. Still unsure of what I need, and having trouble getting to grips with the concept that I don't need/want to come as much, so I can feel this devoted all time time, she asked what I wanted. We agreed on some edging and a ruined, but it was a team effort, as it is something we are learning together.

    "Hands off" and I had a near perfect ruin. 1 or 2 strokes less perhaps next time.
     
  18. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    #18 Jah Rubbings, Jul 28, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 28, 2021
    So Tuesday morning, I enquired if she came last night, which she did. It isn't a given for her, as so many things have to come (excuse the pun) together to make it happen. But something was still bugging me all day...

    Did she come before or after I entered her soft warm pussy?

    She laughed a bit when I asked her, and I said,
    "Well you do it so quietly, I don't always know"
    Then joked that it wasn't fair to keep it a secret, as she always knows when I do. And, it would help me learn how to please her better with a little direction.

    We also touched on coming together, which is a great thing for any loving couple to share, and realised that, in our attempts to get there together we sometimes missed the point.

    She told me that sometimes she would hold back, waiting for me, and I suggested that perhaps she needed to let go and relax. Although she thinks a multiple orgasm is beyond her reach (though occasionally she did have them before chastity, when I was masturbating too much and lasting too long) , I said that perhaps if she didn't spend energy on trying to get there at the same time as me, it might happen. It was a really good conversation.

    I explained further and deeper than I had been able to before; How orgasms were about the journey not the destination for me now, and how, more and more I like the feeling of denial. Devotion. Desperation.

    So the answer then... Though I didn't plan to keep you in suspense readers, and BTW I kinda knew, but wasn't 100% sure is...

    Before.
    She came before! (This is a big thing for me, I couldn't be happier. Despite her telling me that I'm really good at it, so many things have to come together)

    I said
    "That is so fucking hot. Next time lock me up."
    "Really?"
    "Oh yeah. So hot!"
    She said she doesn't always want a worshipping and likes me to come inside her.
    I suggested that next time perhaps we go straight in, and we talked about a previous time where she was disappointed that I had to stop inside her to avoid a full orgasm and she didn't quite get there, and how we can improve our timing by taking a little care not to over-stimulate me too early (all I took was grabbing my hips and dictating the depth and speed of my thrusts for about 4 pumps and I was ruined)

    We are learning so much about each other. 23 years of a very loving marriage and we are really finally getting to know each other intimately. With freedom to express ourselves. Not fully. But with baby steps, we are getting there.
     
  19. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Back to Monday evening. I was so fucking horny. I was pressing against her in the bathroom, and she started picking spots, she likes grooming her chimps. And she just kept pressing her vulva against my cage every 5 to 15 seconds. OMG. I was grabbing her arse (ass to our friends in the US) and rubbing her back and breasts. It was so fucking goddamn sexy.
     
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    #20 Jah Rubbings, Jul 29, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 29, 2021
    Posted in "Hot things your KH have said to you:

    18th July
    My wife found a round leather dog collar in the charity shop today, and held it up. "Do you think it will fit?" I said.
    With a look of caution she slipped it around my neck and then off again, worried that the young lad in the store had seen.
    "It would need a new hole" She said quietly..
    We left without it, but later this evening she looked at me and said,
    "I should have bought that collar, I might go back for it tomorrow"[/QUOTE]

    21st July
    So Mrs Jah managed to zip into town today, but got there just as they were closing with no cash, and they wouldn't take a card, because the lady had shut down the till. So the collar has been reserved.
    "I'm getting it more as a necklace for you" she said

    So am I to be wearing it all the time? Will I be required to wear it at work? If I'm asked about it, what would I say? "It's a necklace from my wife?" I doubt it, but I would be proud to wear it all the time, and let people think whatever the fuck they want. It kinda looks like a brown leather eternity collar. I'm quite excited

    22nd July
    She went back and.purchased the collar. Can't wait for her to slip it around my neck and fasten it.
     
  21. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    I started a thread about submissiveness:

    https://www.chastitymansion.com/for...e-submissive-to-want-to-be-in-chastity.42457/

     
  22. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/thoughts-on-teasing.42476/


     
  23. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Think that's us up to date. I hope you are enjoying the read. I welcome any comments, criticism (constructive please) and feedback.

    There is a lot of talk, and to much extent I agree, about "just do as she says" or "communication is key" or "never top from the bottom.

    What we have to remember, and appreciate is that for each couple there is a journey, and it takes time, and a lot of trial and error (we fuck it up all the time). We have had several arguments and tantrums. Been throwing in the towel. But we work through them and get back on track.

    Don't let it become a "one strike and you're out" situation. Work at it. Don't give up. Chastity is not a walk in the park for either partner. It's hard, well not often for me. Lol. Be forgiving, try to learn from your mistakes and to quote Pixars Meet the Robinsons

    "Keep moving forward"

    Jah
     
  25. Jah Rubbings
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    Jah Rubbings Jah Rubbings

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    Fantasy

    I come into the bedroom and my wife was wearing a black lace négligée. I climb on the bed and kiss my way up her legs, getting stiffer every inch. As I slowly approach her vulva I begin to take in her scent and I start to twitch and moan in my cage, as I edge. I start kissing her vulva through her lace knickers, then notice the key on a silver chain around her waist just resting just above her pussy.
    I start to twitch with anticipation and feel a drop of precum force its way up my shaft and out of the tip. Then she said. "Let's spoon, but....."
    But what?"
    "You have to remain still"
    "That's not going to be easy"
    "I know, especially as I'm going to grind against your caged cock"
    "Thank you Mistress"
    "But you mustn't move"
    "Yes Mistress"
    "If you manage to last 10 minutes, I might let you out of you cage"
    "Thank you Mistress"
    "But.....For every thrust I will add one day to your sentence"

    By the end I was two weeks down.

    "Let's see how you do tomorrow, but there'll be no prospect of release after tonight, now go to sleep"
    "Yes my Goddess. Thank you"

    Nooo!
     
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