Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

I would love to say I had the will power, that my respect and love for her would make that an impossibility. The fact is, I needed the cage. If I were to be free, I would start thinking about her, thinking about what we might do, what I would like to do, then go sneak a quickie. And no it wouldn’t matter if I was at work. If work has a bathroom, a man can find a way to jerk it off real quick. Any place actually, that is even semi private.

I might feel bad about it after, but would most certainly get some wanks in.

 

My wife gets turned on when she continues to deny me PIV and occasionally encourages me to "bash one out" out of frustration when lying beside her; So you're not alone in feeling that way.
It doesn't happen that often, but it's a huge turn on for both of us when it does.

 

For hubby, it depends a a lot on how long I'm making him wait. We used the honor system for many years (because I thought chastity devices were gross). At first, waiting a day or two was very very difficult for him. After a while he got pretty good at waiting a week without succumbing to temptation. He still made a mistake now and then, but I could always tell, he felt awful, and those mistakes became rarer and rarer over time.

Even so, hubby has his limit. If I tried to deny him for a month without using a chastity device I'm 100% certain he'd crack and sneak an orgasm somewhere along the way.

Everyone's timeline is going to be different, but I'm pretty sure part of the equation is how often you play, and if you're trying to make him wait longer than he's used to for that next orgasm.

 

Don't you believe it. If a guy wants to masturbate, he will find a place and a way, wherever he is.
I doubt there's any such thing as a guy who can't, in the stationary cupboard, at the unused end of an office or store, in the gents, ...

 

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THe best thing is to praise him a lot for staying chaste, remember to tease him in the way that he likes, and use the types of humiliation that plunges him into sub-space.

Also, don't forget to "pay yourself" by asking him to give you lots of oral and finger-jobs and other services that you enjoy from him.

If you're having fun and getting off I guarantee you he will too. Even without an orgasm.

 

I cannot have any of these things with my wife so I'm really jealous of your husband. He's really lucky to have you.

 

One time I went for just over 40 days with self teasing and denial and had to stop in time

 

Sal, i have pulled a few off in the bathroom at work, so yeah! Maybe not this week or even this month, but your goal should be to have him locked 24/7 with him only coming out for designated play time or cleaning. I wear mine 24/7 and I love the feeling.

 

That is as an older adult, in my early twenties my record was 11 times in a day. I’ve rubbed it absolutely raw.

It amazes me in this day and age what we don’t know about the opposite sex because we don’t talk about it. She didn’t know how malleable they are and couldn’t believe we could wiggle out the top of cage. I used to think that the entire breast was an erogenous zone when in reality it feels nice to be touched, almost all of the sensitivity is in the nipples. I also thought when younger that the clit was like a penis and you could stroke it harder and harder direct contact and pace wasn’t a factor. Not true as far I’ve learned in real life.

So yeah, men tend to cum a lot, easier to control as we get older, especially if we are getting attention or have a reason to hold off. Otherwise….sploosh

 

Until he feels like he wants this, assume he will cheat. Especially in the shower. Masturbating was destroying our relationship, even though she didn't know it at the time. I can be trusted in the shower because I truly believe it is wrong to come without permission. I'm allowed to edge on my own sometimes, but trusted not to come. I couldn't hide the change in hormones anyway.

 

Even then I've had to confess accidents, and been punished

 

So true.

 

What an exciting update!

The thing that you may be missing here is that knowledge is power. He doesn't know what you know or what you're thinking. This is no different from "maybe I'll let you cum" when you know that you're going to make him wait another day. You know why you stopped him, but he doesn't. You can abstain in solidarity with him, but he doesn't know that. Matter-of-factlly stopping him with an air of authority says that you're in charge. He only has access to your sex because you allow it, even if he's making you feel good, and it's a privilege that you can take away for any reason or no reason - just because you can. You can tell him nothing, tell him you'll let him make you cum when you're ready, or keep him on his toes by subtly implying that he wasn't doing it good enough and he'll have to try again later.

 

This journey is an amazing read - thank you very much for sharing.

One small piece of advice if your Pete is still having irritation under the ring - some sort of lubricant helps tons.

I personally swear by Aquaphor. It's petroleum-jelly based, but with aloe and other skin-friendly stuff, so if any irritation is happening, it get soothed. Though everyone on here seems to have a different opinion.

Good luck!

 

Good progress SAL! Thanks for the update. Just keep making sure that you want him to do whatever it is - for you!

 

Additionally, a way to keep him loyal is to say, "I know there are times when you may be able to jerk off but if you do, you won't get the mindblowing sex I'm planning for you"

 

It's pretty clear that women and wives do not understand how much men masturbate, even married men. Even when you're two feet away sleeping in the same bed. I've come to understand that masturbating robs a marriage of intimacy because a man uses it to indulge himself, instead of slowing down and seeking intimacy with his wife on his wife's terms, and addressing her emotional needs. It's fundamental to me: if you want to improve your marital intimacy you need to get him to stop masturbating.

You're kidding right? Masturbators masturbate everywhere! In bed next to you. In the shower (especially). In the bathroom at home. In the bathroom at work -- I can't count the hours I've spent away from my desk masturbating in the men's room. At my desk in my pants. On business trips -- oh, that especially, big long drawn out planned scenarios lasting half the night (it's why we're tired after business strips). In the woods while hiking. In the car at the side of the road. In the airplane bathroom. You name it, we'll masturbate there.

Yup. The men here will all admit it. The primary purpose of a chastity cage is to improve your marriage by preventing masturbation. Don't think he's too good or that he's not that way or that he'll have honor on the "honor system." If he masturbates lying next to you he masturbates everywhere else too.