Deep breath. And... relax. Here goes

Thank you! Yes, it is exciting for me. But that's completely bound up with the fact that I can tell it's exciting for him as well. I feel that I can to have fun with this now. But I do know to take it slowly! Thank you for your encouragement. Sal.

 

Thank you!

 

It's Sunday afternoon now. He managed the cage from Friday evening to late Saturday afternoon. After playing on the bed in the sunshine on Saturday morning, he went off to see friends for lunch, with him still locked. As he left, I told him I’d be thinking about him and if he was back around tea-time then maybe we could ‘see how things were going’. I thought that was sufficiently ambiguous.

When he got back yesterday, we had a lovely long kiss and I asked him how he was feeling. He said, “Same as before, only even more frustrated!” Again, I said, “Good”. I asked him if it hurt anywhere and he said that it had been uncomfortable on the underside of the ring when he’d been sitting for a while, although walking,a and even running for a train was ok. I said we should take a look and asked him to ‘pop-off your clothes’ and ‘come and lie on the bed for me’. (This had been advice from Laura who said to use language that nurses and doctors use because people are used to just doing what those people tell them, and of course saying ‘for me’ to subtly reinforce the dynamic.) I felt my stomach flipping when I stood in the bedroom and watched him undressing just as I had asked. I can only imagine how he felt. He’s always had a bit of a thing about clothed-female naked-male scenarios, which feels to me to fit well with me taking the lead, so I was dressed reasonably nicely to welcome him home. (Thanks for the advice here about putting on heels. However, I’m afraid I’d felt too ridiculous wearing them indoors and had taken them off again before he got home.)

So, there he was lying there, naked, with his cage. I asked him to keep his hands out of the way while I unlocked him and I gradually removed the cage, which I've never done before. I was worried about hurting him when I took it off and he asked if he could help but I said I’d just try to do it slowly myself. I explained that I want the cage to be mine too. When it came off, I was a bit worried to see crease marks from the bars of the cage, although he didn’t seem to be that concerned. I also realised that I’d never actually taken the ring off him before and squashing him through it was something I didn’t want to risk without watching him do it first. By now though, he was expanding! I was glad to see the crease marks starting to disappear but he said it would be hard to take the ring off when he was excited. He asked me to get some ice cubes in a bowl of water and a washcloth, which I did but by the time I’d got back with them, he’d already managed to free himself and he was definitely aroused.

I said I was going to make a really careful inspection ‘in an hour or two’ (increase antici...pation!) but that until then I would keep an eye on him to ensure there wasn’t any ‘funny business’. We listened to some music and he even fixed a shelf which I thought was hilarious without him having any clothes on. Lots of fun with, "Mind where you put that screwdriver" and "I do like to see a man with a tool". Every now and then, I gave it a little stroke, enjoying his immediate response each time. When he went to the loo, I asked him to leave the door ajar so he wouldn’t play with himself and he game me the frightened rabbit look.

After an hour or so, I told him it was time for me to take a proper look and I asked him to ‘come back to the bedroom for me.’ I inspected him really closely, which I enjoyed. I was pleased to see there were no marks left and that it looked no different from usual. I couldn’t remember having examined him so closely before and I could tell he loved it but was really uncomfortable at the same time. I made sure there was lots of prodding and squeezing and I asked if it hurt or was numb anywhere. I looked underneath where he said it had been a bit sore and noticed that I’d missed shaving some hair there. So I put on a little cream and shaved where I’d missed. I’ve no idea if that will make it better but I also rubbed in a bit of hand cream down there, which has some silicone in it, hoping that might help too.

He said it felt good to be out of the cage for a while. and he described how it felt to be in there. I asked him what an erection felt like in there and he said the cage was small enough that he couldn't expand at all really, so he could feel himself getting mentally turned-on but that was all. I asked him how that felt and he said it was hard to explain but it was very exciting for him. I asked him what he would most like right then and he said to come inside me. (For goodness sake, men!! I wonder why I even asked!) And I looked at him and said that I wanted it to have fresh air but hadn’t decided yet whether or not he should come today. Actually, I had definitely made up my mind that he shouldn’t, but all the advice has been to keep him guessing. We kissed and I held it and stroked it very gently and he asked me what things we could do.

Laura had told me that as well as using phrases like ‘for me’, I could amplify the message by placing him lower than me and she’d told me a bunch of ways to do that but without having to make it explicit so he wouldn’t be quite conscious of what was going on. So I sat right on the edge of the bed and said I’d be really excited to feel his tongue, ever so gently on me. And just like that, just like she said, he was kneeling on the floor in front of me, my hands on his head. It felt incredibly special – not that we haven’t been in that position plenty of times before but because this time I felt in totally in control and all I’d had to say was that I’d love to feel his tongue on me!

I know this is not exactly in keeping with the ethos of this forum, and some of you who have been encouraging me might feel disappointed, but I wondered whether, since I was denying him, then I should hold back too, at least for a while. And having started to overthink it, (sorry!!), I probably wouldn’t have been able to come anyway. So I asked him to just get to his feet in front of me ("Please stand for me") and said I'd like to give him a special treat. I asked him to stand completely still and took it in my mouth but absolutely as gently as I could, and with virtually no movement. I know what a tease that is for him. Sure enough, he started moving his hips a little. As soon as he did that, I just withdrew and said I’d asked him to be still. He promised to stop moving, so I started again, trying to make sure there was no particular rhythm. After a bit, I stopped and looked up at him and said, “This must be so frustrating for you”. I could tell he was desperate, and I said so. I looked straight at him and said I found it incredibly exciting and also said I thought this was just what he needed and that I felt that he shouldn’t come today, but maybe tomorrow.

I went and got the ring and the cage and asked him to ‘pop those on for me, just as soon as you can’. I asked him to do it somewhere I could keep half an eye on him to make sure he didn’t play with himself. I’ve never actually seen how he puts the ring on, although I’ve read about it here, but sadly I wasn’t close enough to see how he did it and I know that if I get too close, it’ll grow too much. One day maybe!

It's Sunday afternoon now and he's been locked since yesterday (Saturday) early evening. He woke me during the night saying he was incredibly frustrated and needed to come. Otherwise he wouldn't be able to sleep It was as if he was following a script of what everyone said would happen! I just responded “No, I’m sorry. Remember I said, ‘maybe tomorrow. I love you’”.

He’s out right now, and given what I said yesterday and during the night, I know he’ll be expecting, or at least hoping for, release when he’s back this afternoon. I’ve been making sure that he knows I haven’t forgotten about him and tried to say nice teasing things to him from time to time, but my plan is actually, not to release him today at all. I want to wait until tomorrow (Monday) evening, by which time he will have been caged for two days. I’m thinking about asking to watch while he plays with himself. He’s always found that awkward but I love the idea (possibly because it makes him a bit uncomfortable). Or I might invite people round or have us go out so that he can be uncaged for a while but still not be able to come or surreptitiously play with himself.

I feel I’m getting a lot clearer about the things I like, partly because I feel I know what he’ll enjoy.

Sal

 

Thanks. I'm really unsure about what I want. I love having the control generally but I think mainly it's about not wanting him to play with himself, so that he can't come unless he's with me. I don't mind him playing with himself if I'm there with him. I think! Sal.

 

I think it's easier to sound like an expert in a typed message, where I can think about each word if I really want to. The reality is that there's a whole lot of nervousness and tummy flipping behind the scenes. I'm sure My Pete can detect that but the worst bit (for me) is done now. The hardest thing was working out roughly what direction I wanted us to go in, and make sure he roughly felt the same way. Fortunately, we both seem to want the same things and we're both up for giving it a try. The next bit, where I need to be a little creative, is a lot easier for me, mainly because there are tons of great ideas out there! Some of them are way beyond where we want to be, but there are lots of lovely things we can definitely try! I think one of the best bits of advice was a private message from another woman on this forum who advised me to keep the role-playing sexy fun completely separate from any discussion with him about doubts, or how we're feeling about this. Sal

 

Thank you for your sweet comment! Sal

 

May I ask - how easy was that for you to deal with (mentally, I mean), at first? Did you resent her having that level of control? That's what I worry about with My Pete. sal.

 

I think to be honest I can trust him in the shower, although I think it's a nice game to get in there with him to 'keep an eye on him'. But I think nighttimes are going to be more difficult and I do know that he plays with himself at night, which I find a bit unappealing if I'm right there but asleep! So I'm especially keen to lock him at night. Sal.

 

We've experimented before with asking each other to masturbate and then being commanded to stop and it was fun. I think this will be much more intense now because I have much more control. I'm looking forward to that - possibly even this evening! Thank you for your advice Pamela. Sal.

 

Gosh, what a lovely compliment, thank you.! I would feel a bit of a fraud writing for anyone else though - everything I know is from others on this forum plus a couple of other friendly guides on the side. And I've actually reused phrases that other people have given me - so no books from me!
Re the cage, I'm still trying to work out how much of the time I want him caged. I know that I don't want him to come unless I'm with him but I'm not yet 100% sure he needs to be caged all day when he's say, at work. I'm still trying to work out the balance between denial and control and chastity. And to work out what I want, I need to get a feel for what he likes too, because part of my enjoyment comes from his enjoyment. Confusing! Sal.

 

Thank you. But did you need to be locked all the time, say, when you were at work? I mean, you wouldn't be playing with yourself at the office. This is what I'm trying to juggle at the moment. I know I want to lock him at night, but I wonder if for me, the other times are for a feeling of control (which I like) rather than to stop him masturbating because he just can't do that the rest of the time? Sal.