Why doesn’t your Domme want sex with you?

As far as I know, I've never met a single person who spends their free time in denial of all forms of pleasure. They instead spend it chasing one set of neurochemical reactions or another like animals.

 

Oh yes! We are very equal in our relationship. We communicate well (even better with chastity) and we respect each other greatly. We can openly communicate and discuss things without worry.
A side note, before chastity and denial it seemed like she nagged a lot, but since we started living it, that has almost disappeared! I'm sure that's due to attitude changes on both of us!

 

@Miss Veronica I’ve enjoyed your enthusiastic contribution since you joined CM. Please keep it up! That being said I do think that you bring an unusual perspective to CM, in that your positive marking of male sexuality extends not only to male sexuality generally (which would disprove my theory that Femdom at heart, for both parties, is a world which plays with male sexuality always-already-and-everywhere marked as negative, including the male sexuality of the Domme’s significant other) but also to exhortations to women to increase their own sexual activity. I’ve made a number of posts in various threads questioning whether a focus on the dimension of enjoyment (whether sexuality be marked as positive or negative) is diverting attention away from broader societal/political concerns.
Whatever those broader societal or political activities and concerns might or could be, an appreciation of the dimension of the negative is helpful because political difference at its heart boils down to the same topic being marked positively by one party and negatively by the other. This is one of the reasons, aside from enjoyment, I am in to Femdom-the women never let me forget they see what I feel as positive as negative. It’s good for the (political) soul, I guess the Victorians might conclude.

 

It's interesting you say that. Maybe the word "reward" was poorly chosen here. It's more that she likes the idea of "having sex" to be saved only for very special occasions.
And obviously that mindset does not mean that what you say: "I have sex with him because he attracts me - his mind, his heart, and of course, his body. I feel loved by him, and that makes me want to be with him. " can not be true for her also. One does not exclude the other. She loves having sex with me, just as she does indeed love seeing me orgasm! It's just that she's of the opinion that it doesn't have to happen all that often.

As for your question about more sex, I would indeed love to have more sex, just as I'd like to have more orgasms, more playtime, etc. But I do also know that my Lady knows what's good for me. And most important of all, that I have zero to say about the matter

 

Thank You Miss Veronica for allowing me to ask my question. i know your time is valuable. I ask you these questions from being a Domme who owns a pet, that you may have knowledge on these two concerns i have.

The first concern is my scrotum aches at times. i have read here from lack of being able to orgasm cause this. Should i be on some type of maintenance program to relieve this. Maintenance program that is sad it is like my scrotum is a piece of property.


Second concern is i have read that being locked cause the penis to get smaller and never really achieve it's original size that is was prior to be locked. Also i have read that guys feel guilty when they do orgasm and rather not be allowed to. Is this true?


Once again Miss Veronica i sincerely Thank You of any advice you have on these two concerns. my Domme/Wife is fairly new and i am being locked because She is pissed at me for what i did.

 

"If there's anything around here more important than my sex drive, I want it taken out and shot."
- - Zaphod Beeblebrox

 

Curiously my wife enjoy PIV since I a in chastity and FLR.

Before she get bored and she was not interested; just a boring moment to pass.

Since I am locked (part time) I have stop daily masturbation and I do sex only when she asks and the way she asks. All have changed.
Instead of rushing I do it slowly (1 stroke per 2 seconds) while telling stories and role play of ther fantasy.
I no longer have toxic manly attitude in any way and not contesting any orders or request.
She as also a lot more free time with me doing a lot more chores.

Since that time she enjoys PIV, want it a lot, sometime with an hollow dildo. I have no right to contest or refuse. of course, no ejaculation in any way in her. After she let me have a ruined orgasm half of the time.

She has becaume a very hot wife asking for sex a lot and on my side I have changed to a man you just PIV and masturbate doing nothing to an attentionate father who takes care of the house, child and my wife. I have a lot less desire for sex but I have a lot more and longer sex with her since.

FLR looks good for both of us.

 

Great development and changes for you and your wife, congratulations!

 

...and now....

if you were Lucy's dinner guest she would show you the door. You do know this is her house, right? While a lot of what you say in this message is right - I do think there are politer ways to say it. Attention to this part: "I don't think you understand what you are saying"....

 

Yes there are many rooms in the mansion, and it seems everyone has their own definitions and labels for who they are and what they are doing.

Just ask what what permanent chastity means, you will get 20 different answers. Submissive, dominant, will land you just as many. They are relative terms because everyone feels their own level yet we label it all with a few words. Yes we can go to the dictionary (please don’t!) and rattle off what those words mean and someone will be more right than someone else.

I am submissive, but I wouldn’t say I’m always that way, and I certainly can be the exact opposite. I crave to be controlled, I love the freedom of giving it to someone. Outside of her, I am the opposite. Does that make me a dominant? Does that make me a submissive? In the end it’s all a label, we like what we like, and act how we act. Domme, dominant, submissive, chaste, each relationship brings its own multitude of variables that can’t be summed up, and disagreement with the label itself is arbitrary and semantics.

 

I'm sorry, but I find this very presumptuous and insulting. My wife has been dishing out SPH for years now, and there is absolutely nothing wrong with her soul or her self. Her love and compassion has not diminished, and in fact it's quite the opposite. We are a lot more open with each other and more loving toward one another as a result of being able to share and equally enjoy our fetishes and kinks.

It's also the case that insulting my penis is not the same as insulting me as a person. I'm a very strong and equal partner in our marriage and very successful in my career and elsewhere. I know who I am, and I'm confident about what I can do. I just happen to like having my small penis humiliated. Likewise, my wife is a very loving wife and mother to our kids. She just happens to enjoy humiliating and denying my penis. This does not in any way make her a horrible person, and to say otherwise is, once again, not only misunderstanding but downright rude.

I have read this thread and your posts, and I understand that you feel you need to present your own take on chastity and femdom and help others realize that everyone is different. I think that's great, but I think you will find that almost everyone here already realizes there is a myriad of viewpoints and relationship types, as well as desires and goals. I think what you need to realize is that nobody here wants to be insulted or told what they're doing is wrong just because it's different.

 

Chastity certainly doesn’t have to be about any of those things.

Yes some crave that, some a little of this a little of that, some even have sex quite regularly with no D/s dynamic what so ever.

 

As Rodney King famously said "can't we just all get along?" I think it's mid winter and people are getting a little testy. We all have slightly different takes on this fairly unusual proclivity and there should be room for all (except the castrators, I'd rather we not have enough room for them).

 

There are only two things I can't stand in this world. People who are intolerant of other people's cultures... and the Dutch.
Before anyone from there gets bent out of shape...it’s from an Austin Powers movie

 

I think I’m into my second bag of popcorn reading this thread!

Borh partners need to put in the effort, and need be happy for any kink based relationship to work, and this isn’t always the case.

 

You are being critical without empathy. Try addressing why. It would be an interesting discussion.

In order for any human to enjoy pleasure, or seek to increase their desire for pleasure, one needs a certain amount of healthy self esteem and love. Sadly, from my own observations, most women do not enjoy parents, or partners, that acknowledge and appreciate who they are. Rather, they stress perceived weaknesses. They focus on who they should, or could be, according to society or their own personal, and perhaps selfish desires.

Given support, appreciation and love, any person can begin to develop into the person they deserve to be.