When was your GF/Wife's "aha" moment?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Zed96, Jul 26, 2021.

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  1. Zed96
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    Zed96 New member

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    We are trying chastity for the first time.

    I brought it up in March, was actively practicing denial since probably then, and finally locked up after she got comfortable with the cage since July 19th.

    We are making progress. She says she enjoys this lifestyle and wouldn't want to go back. She says I'm a much better husband.

    My first release was 3 days in, she wanted sex. We had some seriously amazing sex. She didn't ask me to lock back up, so I didn't. When I brought it up the next day, she didn't say much about it. So, I kind of tested her. Going back to my "old ways" in a sense.
    After a long day, I tried to initiate sex. She said "it's so late! Is that all you think about? You know what? Lock yourself back up". I asked her to keep the keys with her instead of on the nightstand 24/7. She put them in her purse. How fitting!

    Success?

    Either way, I don't think she's had her aha moment. But, we are making progress. I've learned that patience is key here. Males tend to want to go 100mph right when their wife agrees to try chastity.

    Remember, you've wanted this for years. They just found out this even exists.
     
  2. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    Most wives reach this same conclusion if you give them time.
     
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  3. Pretty Monnica
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    Pretty Monnica Property of @GoddessViolet

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    My Goddess is currently just past the "aha" moment, and it is absolutely worth the time it took to get her there. There were ups and down, misunderstandings, an argument or two. But with about a window of a year, she is hitting her stride in our FLR. I'm absolutely brimming with excitement and am so proud of her for doing it.

    Good luck. Do your part to encourage her. Your comment about us wanting to go 100 percent, and them just learning what it is and how it can be a fun a vibrant benefit to them is spot on. There is a learning curve, and both of you have to take the time to learn how to act out your part of it. She will get there. Also, encourage her to do some light research on chastity written by women, for women. It really helps for them to get some tips and advice from others in the same role, and not from the submissive perspective.

    M.
     
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  4. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    Mrs never had an "ah ha" moment; unlike a lot of women you read about, she liked the idea right from the start. However, she used to feel like she had to unlock me regularly (albeit for her, regular meant maybe one a month).

    That changed when her work sent her overseas for a month. We had sex, then she locked me an hour or so before she left. When she got back, she told me that she thought about me being locked the entire time and that she wanted to approach things differently. She wanted all the control, the ability to lock or unlock at her whim, whether it was a month, or three months, or even a year. She even wanted the final decision as to whether I could have an orgasm, and even in the cage I would have to ask her permission.

    That was about 12 years ago, and while we've taken breaks, she still has that control because I agreed to it back then.
     
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  5. Susanstoy91
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    Susanstoy91 Active member

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    My Wife's "Aha" moment was when we unwrapped my first device. We couldn't get it on fast enough and when it was on our lifestyle change happened that day. She has become my KH full time and controls our sex life. She told me today it has been almost 3 months since my last orgasm(I don't keep track). She told me I will for sure get one on my birthday...Nov. 24...Maybe one before that...I'll just wait and see...Good luck and enjoy the journey...
     
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  6. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    I’m not sure if mine has had an aha moment. I should definitely ask her. I know when I submit to a punishment it seems to really cement her control over me. I really don’t like punishments. The worst was kneeling on a wood floor for 30 minutes, hands folded and facing the corner.
     
  7. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    For us, there wasn’t really a light bulb moment. The transition happened gradually. There would, and continue to be small steps where she takes more control. She is still trying to get past fretting about being nice. Once she resolves that, it will be a different ball game. I occasionally see those wheels turning.
     
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  8. MissyB
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    MissyB Active member

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    It seems like a gradual awakening would be more common, but every woman is different. Seems responders show range from love at first sight to not quite there yet, but getting there, so anything is possible.
     
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  9. Thomas Gangman
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    Thomas Gangman Active member

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    My wife's aha moment was a weekend about 6 months after we started to play with chastity. We were in a sex shop looking for toys and the sales lady showed us a CB plastic device. She showed us how it al went together and we decided to try it as part of bdsm. Once I got it on my wife like to have me wear it during a session and several hours later let me out. She was doing some traveling at the time so I started to play with it, extending my time using the device. When I was able to go overnight with no problem, we would start playing on a Friday and my wife would deny me until Sunday when I was allowed to orgasm.

    Her weekday traveling continued and i could spend all week locked up, my wife liked the weekend games but it was just another part of the toy collection. One day during my solo caging, the cage split and caught some of my shaft skin and the healing too the better part of the month. Now she was not so keen on chastity and told me I really needed to find something that is easier to clean and more dependable.

    I did some looking and ordered a metal cage (picture in avatar) called the Happgo and it was so much more comfortable and easier to clean. During the week while she was away, I would increase my wear time and got to the point I could go all week with it on. I would put the device on Monday morning right after she left and take it off when she called from the airport she was heading home.

    It was the 4th of July weekend and we planned on spending the weekend sitting by our pool so she could just relax now that her project was over. I put on my cage and then my swimsuit and headed out to vacuum the pool and get the pool furniture out. Since our property is very secluded, she loves tanning naked and when she dropped her robe, it was my hint to drop my trunks. I'll never forget the look on her face when the sunlight reflected off the metal cage and caught her eye. She walked over and grabbed hold of the cage and was fascinated by the feel and the weight. After a close examination she asked for the key and I ran and got them, she tried opening the lock and then locked it and went into the house for a few minutes and told me she hid the keys.

    She immediately laid down on one of the chaise lounges and pulled me over for the first of about eight times that day I went down on her and brought her to orgasm. The same pattern followed the next 2 days and when the weekend was over she told me I was going to stay locked for the rest of the week. I remember going down on her two nights that week and it wasn't until the following Sunday after a Saturday of tease, deny, some bdsm, and going down on her lots did she release me from the cage. It only took her playing with my cock and three strokes before I shot a stream about 5 feet from where I was standing.

    She this was he aha moment or weekend and we have not looked back. She still control the key and likes to tease and deny me, but also does let me out for some wild and erotic fun.
     
  10. Goddess li
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    We've been doing it on and off for a year or 2. I was never fully into it especially as my husband seemed to be so needy and moody sometimes when he wasn't getting what he wanted. I think he learned to be more patient and has stopped hinting at things. The real epiphany for me was just recently, last week actually. I went out with an old friend, somewhere where people don't know me and realised I could have any guy I wanted and he would just take it. I felt really powerful and in control, for real control, not pretend control. I've felt pretty great ever since then!
     
  11. true42
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    true42 Owned member

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    I also suffered from this problem for the first year or two. It seems to be common, from what I've read. It's very hard for a man to swallow his pride and control, and truly give up that control. I've gotten a lot better on this (my wife has noticed! :), and it sounds like your husband has adjusted as well.
     
  12. biggar
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    biggar Junior Member

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    For us it was just as soon as I showed her the homemade PVC one I made! I had been working on making one since seeing some on the internet. When I had a design that worked and I was finally happy with I locked it on and showed her and instantly her eyes lit up! I liken it to "like a duck taking to water!". It only took a couple of weeks for her to decide we needed to buy one which ended up being the CB2000. She loved controlling my erections and ejaculations!! And still does over 20 yrs later! For us it put new life into a stale marriage and boy did it!! It is a consensual chastity lifestyle, not a forced strict one like some are. I bought many OTC plastic models before going to a custom made SS one. Since then we have added several Chinese SS models which are very good for the money. A couple of weeks ago I did buy another plastic model, The Nub, which I loved the first time I saw one on a guy and it is awesome!! IMG_4104.JPG
     
  13. wastlander2002
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    wastlander2002 Active member

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    not sure there was an "Aha" moment..the lock ups just kept getting longer and longer is all i now wear it pretty much full time, don't get me wrong I still have plenty of sex its just that when shes not using it...its in a cage
     
  14. Cecilia B
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    Cecilia B Active member

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    Mine was actually pretty early on. Remember, I introduced husband to this when he was still boyfriend. I'd gotten him to cross dress but was using chastity for security only.

    He came and asked me to take it off after I'd gotten home. I decided to get playful and said "no". He went into this "c'mon, now, we agreed" routine and he was right, but I decided to play some more. I told him he didn't sound like somebody who wanted to get let out of his cage. Somebody who wanted to be let out would be wearing a pretty maid dress and curtseying and after they waited on me would ask me very nicely to unlock them .

    When he came in wearing his maid dress and petticoats (and full underwear, as I found out when I unlocked him), I knew I had him .
     
  15. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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