The Noose Tightens

Now comes the challenge.

At times, all the things my Lady asks of me feel like a lot, and it's hard to do it all. Yesterday when I felt frustrated by what seemed too many directions all at once, I kind of sassed her when she pressed me about them. I knew as soon as the exchange was over that I had erred, but did not apologize. She got very quiet. I was focused on the activity, trying to get what she wanted done as she read. More time passed, then she said 'I can't let that pass without addressing it'. Of course I knew what she meant, and at that point did say I was sorry.

She accepted my apology, but her face told me that was not the end of it. Sure enough, she followed up with directing me to take a pair of handcuffs and a chair to the basement. 'Set the chair in front of the pole by the washer, sit down, and cuff your hands behind that pole. I'll be down to visit you when enough time has passed. Now, go'. There are no clocks in our basement, so I had no way of knowing how much time had gone by. I could hear her moving around as she went about her day. Finally, she came down.

'I'm not here to release you,' she said right up front, 'When I do come back, I want to hear a sincere apology from you and what you plan to do to prevent any more such behavior'. She gave my tie a check; it seemed like she pulled it extra tight. It was at least another hour before she returned. After all that time sitting there I had lots to say. She seemed satisfied, then asked 'Are you serious about submitting to me? If so, I want to see your behavior reflect that. If I'm asking too much you can ask to discuss it, but you need to walk the walk'. To my chagrin she left me again and went back upstairs.

My shoulders ached. This was an emphatic way for her to make her point. When at last she came back, she asked again if I was going to submit to her as I had offered. Feeling desperation, I humbled myself as best I could. To my relief she pulled out the handcuff key. 'Your list remains to be done', she said, 'I'm going out and will be back for dinner at 6'. She undid one cuff then handed the key to me.

I am now in the territory where I find out if I can hack this. She certainly can. I am so impressed by the change in her, and a little afraid to see where she is going to lead us. I'm also more horny than I ever remember being since my first erection!

 

Thanks to Giveitup for the feedback. Each day is new, and unimaginable a few short months ago,

My Lady made today ‘Humility Day’. At 8 a.m. she said ‘On your knees, you will clean and polish all of the shoes in my closet, boots included, Go now and get all the gear you will need to do that. You may have a kneeling pad.’ After I had done so, she held up the key to my chastity!

Turns out, she only wanted to open the lock to attach a chain. The other end she wrapped around the toilet in our master bath and padlocked it. There was enough length that I could reach her shoe closet. Oh, and like any good butler she had a three piece suit for me to wear while doing this task,

‘If I come by and find you not kneeling, you will regret it. When you are done, you may call me to come inspect your work. Only when I have approved it all will I unlock your chain. Oh, and before that happens, you must - on your knees - sincerely and humbly beg me to keep you locked up for another week. Convince me that you need and want that, and you will be freed to make dinner.’

Well, I now know that she has 42 pairs of shoes and boots. Fortunately for me most of them were in pretty good shape to start, but it still took me until 4:30. She is amazing, and I’m tired, turned on, and grateful for her strict oversight. I want to impress her with my service.

 

Rectrix,

She would not have freed me had I not begged for the additional time. She uses bondage and lockup very astutely; she just gives me the time I need to 'come around' to see it her way. Many of her methods are things I've shared with her through the years. Some I now regret sharing, I had forgotten about the chained-by-the-balls thing.

My main focus and outlet now is giving her pleasure, one of her favorite things about our 'new' FLR. It's becoming apparent that she gets excited by things like yesterday, so my evening after dinner was an Oscars edition of seeing to her needs. So exciting after all that work!

Have to go get ready for breakfast, she will page me soon.

 

She settles in to her role.

Yesterday, my Lady was giving me some instructions for the day. From my reaction, I think she could sense I was swelling up in my cage - that happens when she exercises her authority. She patted my crotch and said 'You're getting just what you wanted, aren't you?'.

 

The agony and the mindfuck.

Here's the part of this arrangement I didn't anticipate: My Lady is blossoming in her ability to play with my mind. I think she's reading stuff on forums like this one or something, I haven't asked yet.

Yesterday, while I did household stuff, she worked out and had gone upstairs to shower. Some time had passed when my watch buzzed with a text: 'Need my pussy butler upstairs'. When I came into the bedroom she was on the bed, looking a little flushed, legs spread and wet pussy exposed. 'You know what to do' was all she said. Not needing any further explanation, I dove right in with worshipping her pussy. It was a relatively quick one; she was soon convulsing and moaning her approval.

As she does after she's come, she quickly pushed my head away. She looked down at me and said 'Thanks, that was a good one. I feel bad, needing to come all the time. You're so strong, you don't need this at all. I'm glad I have you as my good strong butler since I'm so weak'. This was delivered with a kind of pouty smile. Altogether this made for some 'cage rage' for my poor Mr. Happy, to the point I think I whimpered. This broadened her smile, the one that makes me nervous.

At that point she said 'You may go back to whatever you were doing, my devoted butler'. As I struggled to walk away in my condition it was emphatically clear that we're not in Kansas anymore.

 

How in hell do the men in this site hack it in long-term chastity? When I last posted, I noticed the counter that appears at the bottom says it has been a month that I have been locked up, and it's making me crazy. The first time I have a chance of being unlocked is this Sunday, and that's only if my Lady decides that I deserve it.

In my arousal and desperation, I've been very kissy/huggy and attentive to her, to the point that she gets annoyed sometimes and swats me away. Most often she likes it though, and uses these moments to tease and inflame me further. She is growing into her role as royalty, enjoying her privilege and the entitlement that having a servant makes possible. Her adopting that stance just jacks me up more; I think either my head or my balls are going to explode!

Whenever I have to piss I have to sit (not a great thing in skeevy rest areas). During those time I look longingly at Mr. Happy, wanting to feel and stroke him. It's wild what has been created here, a limbo land that is equal parts of excitement/arousal and desperation. Changing my attention to doing chores and service helps some; what do you all who are locked up for the long term do that helps when feeling desperate?

 

Something's up.

My Lady's attitude toward me is a little different in a way I can't quite name. She's had kind of a half-smile at times when around me, and is a little cool in her emotional engagement. That, and now over a month has passed and she still hasn't unlocked me. When I brought it up, her response was 'Since when you get out is up to me, why don't you just leave it to me to decide. I'll let you know when the time comes. If you are exemplary in your service, it's likely to happen sooner'. Well, OK.

During this time she's been giving me plenty to do, and loves it when she sees me working on my assigned tasks. I can't decide whether to ask about what's going on...

 

Yesterday my Lady texted me this: ‘You’ll be unlocked today and can come all you want! First, though, you’re going to set up those heavy duty tie-down straps on the corners of the bed. After we’ve got you tightly strapped down, I’ll unlock you. Once you’re unlocked, you have my permission to come as much as you like. I’ll try to help you. When I feel like it, I’ll come and stroke your little man with one finger, but only until you become hard - the rest is up to you. Should you want to be locked back up, you can ask me any time I am visiting.'

I'm still sorting out the impact my experience had on me. For those wondering, there was no happy ending to the experience. At one point I had to pee so bad she took mercy and released me, but she stood by and made sure I didn't try anything and I was soon strapped back down. Once I'm secured with those thousand pound test straps and their cam buckles, there's no escape possible. My erections progressed from monumental to brief as time passed, with pre-cum all over that she wiped up when she came to torture me with her finger. She always knows when to stop. How did she learn to do this?

Never have I so sincerely and vigorously begged, which just provoked her enigmatic smile, the cessation of stroking, and her walking away to resume her activity while I was left humping the air. Finally the various pains in my limbs led to me begging her to lock me back up. She brought frozen peas and my cleaned device, then had me do the deed while she watched. 'You may thank me now' she said as the lock clicked shut. On my knees I did so. Only minutes later I was back in uniform, worn out but expected to step back into my personal butler role. I am struck by how this gets me supremely excited but is so, so, frustrating. Today, so far she has behaved as if yesterday never occurred. Her mastery of me is awe-inspiring.

 

Yesterday, my world changed. I had suspected something was up with my Lady, but she had been cagy about letting me in on the secret. When I came to my machine in the early morning, an envelope was on my keyboard, addressed to 'My butler'. Inside was a note. I ended up reading it a number of times before acting on its contents. I'm typing it into this post now while I have some time. It's kind of long, she clearly worked on this for a while.

"My dear kinky husband, I love that you have offered your submission to me and placed yourself into service as my personal butler. I think it’s going well, don’t you? You get to realize your dream of chastity and being my subject, and I get, well, whatever I want! More on that below.

As our female-led arrangement has gathered momentum I have noticed that any bondage that I impose gets you going. While the form of bondage you may enjoy most is being strapped down and ‘tortured’, I’ve found two other ways to bind you that I like more. They would be your chastity, of course, and your service uniform. I’ve observed how both elements change your demeanor for the better, and I like what I see - literally when you are dressed up in a jacket with a nice snug necktie. You’re also a nicer person and a more delightful partner when you’re locked down and dressed up for me. I like that a lot.

Given how much I like your neck and junk bound, then, freedom from either will now be rare, as these seem to be core, key methods to bring out your best self. Thus, moving forward, your only option for relief from either of these motivators will be to properly please me. You’ve demonstrated you like obeying me and serving me, and I love having you as my butler. Let’s enjoy developing our new relationship!

So, to start us off: I’ve determined that things will work best if I keep you in chastity and dressed for duty as my butler at all practicable times. There are no downsides for me; I love how you look and the favorable impact your uniform has on your behavior. Therefore, I expect you to remain dressed up for me except for events like visits from friends or activities where you need other clothes, like working out or yard work. I will choose your outfit of the day the night before, and expect you to be wearing it by the time I rise. I will tolerate no complaints from you about discomfort from your uniform; remember, you volunteered for this. Just dress nicely for me and serve.

Remember, only sincere service and submission will earn you any respite from your uniform or chastity, so you must demonstrate your submission convincingly and work hard for me. I can tell if you’re sincerely giving it your best; if you value the privilege of an erection, only dedicated service will get you there. I also want to emphasize that selfish strategies will not succeed in earning that for you. Not begging. Not sexual overtures. Not petulance. Especially not outbursts. In fact, those behaviors will only prolong your bondage and trigger other punishments. Only nice, enthusiastic husband/butler service provided with love and caring will do it, according to expectations I will make explicit.

My dear butler, I’ve given this a lot of thought. I am moved that you have submitted yourself to me in this way, you have been remarkably persistent in your vision and attempts to interest me in the idea. You have now succeeded! I am fully invested in our arrangement, so now you must fully cede control to me. I require that you submit to me unconditionally and on my terms. You must now honor and obey me, and submit and serve in the ways that I stipulate.

Your uniform for today is hanging near this note; if you are wearing it to greet me when I rise, you are agreeing to submit to me completely and serve me in the ways I will now require of you. To help you with the transition, I’m going to keep you locked in your chastity until April. You asked for firm, strict supervision of your service to me and from now on I will generously provide it. I love you, my devoted butler.

Your ‘Lady’"

I wondered what would have happened if I'd gone to her to say good morning and wasn't in my uniform. Since I'm the one who buckled on the collar and handed her the leash, I put on the suit and was wearing it when she called for me. When she saw me wearing it, she was beaming. 'Come to me, my devoted butler', she said, 'Kneel before me and thank me for agreeing to be your Lady and allowing you to serve'. I did so, taking both her hands in mine. I think both of us were a little misty eyed. As I write this now the laundry is going and my Lady is off with a friend. I hope I am ready for what comes next, as there's no doubt in my mind that she meant every carefully crafted word she wrote me.

 

Rectrix,

Thanks. 'Frequently' is not going to happen, best I can tell. My Lady seized on to one of the things I described about FLR's in a big way - 'It's all about you'. She is keeping me chaste and desperate while enjoying herself immensely. That in turn gets me fired up, which leads to the chaste and desperate part, which gets her going. I'm still filled with anticipation paired with some dread.

With the many ways she uses me, not sure how much I'll be able to post here. Also, 'screen time' is one of the things she's monitoring to insure I'm practicing Clean Living. I've never gone two months without an orgasm in my life. Who knows what tomorrow will bring.

 

Moments in the life of a butler and sex slave

Sex slave. That's a strong term, but its clear that is what I have become. My Lady's appetite for sex has increased since the lock clicked; it's like her being freed from being concerned about any sexual desires I might have has made her more randy. Whenever she's at all horny, she summons me to take care of it.

I get up hours before her, so that is when I am most likely to have gaps in my day to be able to go online, post anything, or catch up on anything needing doing. My routine changed this week, with my Lady now hanging up my outfit for the following day before we go to bed. I bring it downstairs so I can get dressed in the morning without disturbing her. As I write, I am now dressed for the day. Today's outfit is a sport jacket and slacks, with a tie of course.

Why am I up this early? Last night, that's why. We usually read together in bed after she has 'released' me from my uniform. She had on a pair of satin pajamas when she came to join me. She threw her phone and book on her night stand, then came over to my side. 'I need some more massage' she said, 'Your massage earlier helped my back, but now there's something else'. I hurried to stow my iPad and glasses, then turned to her.

When I started stroking her spine - which she loves - she purred and let me continue for a bit. Already Mr. Happy was trying to get hard in his prison with predictable results. Fairly quickly she grabbed my hand and placed it on her pussy. 'There needs attention' she said. I did my best with foreplay, sucking her nipples, nibbling her ears, stuff I know gets her going, while cupping her mound and 'massaging' her. Very quickly she was fully engaged and had dropped her bottoms and panties. From there it was not much time before she moaned/yelled her approval.

For me, Mr. Happy was frantic and crushed, making me moan. She ignored me, pulling my arms over and snuggling in for a cuddle. I'm pretty sure she knows what this does to me. I tried to focus on sweet nothings and enjoying the closeness, despite the desperation. 'Turn out your light' was her terse directive, her way of dismissing me and steering us to sleep.

Except. I was lying there with Mr. Happy all dressed up and nowhere to go, beating at the walls of his cell. Falling asleep was hard, and I had a restless night. She, on the other hand, slept like a rock. I see how assuming the role of my Lady has lifted some burdens from her and turned her into more of a sybarite. I love that, but am still working things out for myself. Just writing this has my cage filled with that familiar pressure, and me wondering if taking this step was wise. Yet, I can't imagine any other way. What an amazing time!

 

I became concerned about my subject line for this thread.

I thought 'noose' might have some negative connotations. Went and looked it up just now, and it said 'a loop with a slipknot that binds closer the more it is drawn'. Given the stance of my Lady toward me right now and how she is flexing her authority, I'd say it's pretty accurate. At least, any resistance or rebellion on my part to her control has been met with a tightening of that control. I'm still absorbing how completely she had assumed command of our relationship and me. Yet, all I can think about it how I can be the best butler I can for her.

I wondered out loud about how it will work out to be serving her in a coat and tie in August (summer in the U.S.). My Lady's quick response was 'a whole lot of butlers have worked that out now, haven't they? So can you'. Touche. She has observed a few times since we started this that I
like bondage, so this should be right up my alley. She has a point. I tried looking up neckties and bondage, getting mostly Fifty Shades kind of stuff back. There seem to be a couple folks out there whose wives keep them 'tied up' all the time. I'm kind of amazed it doesn't come up more; what a handy, socially accepted way to bind someone in public. It certainly fits that saying you see all the time, 'it's not bondage until you really want out'. She checks frequently to see if my tie looks right and is 'adjusted' properly. Can't argue, either, with her assessment that I look good wearing one!

She's been wonderfully spot on in her role as my Lady, and I try to adequately express my gratitude. I'm posting what I can while I can, as I fear she might clamp down from some of the comments she has made. Can't argue with the main point she has made, which is if I'm on the Interwebs I'm not doing things for her.

Gotta go. Hell to pay if the vacuuming is not done by the time she returns.

 

My life has become centered on service.

This week my Lady took me shopping for a bunch of 'butler uniform' items. She delights in buying me closely fitted shirts and pants now that I am getting to be fairly fit. When we got home, she had me remove the tags on everything and wash all the new things that needed it. There were a bunch of shirts, so I hung them up damp for ironing. She brought out her chain and used my cage lock to attach it to me through to zipper in my pants. Having me carry the shirts on their hangars, she walked me upstairs to where the ironing board is set up. Leaving me just enough chain to be able to hang up the ironed shirts, she padlocked it to the ironing board. 'Call me when you have done them all, and I will come inspect your work' she said, then walked away. There were nine shirts; it took me over an hour to do them, as I didn't want to be re-doing anything.

In a completely different vein, she re-started a practice that I had introduced her to a few years back: Pussy Worship. As we do it, I am fully dressed and kneeling in front of her, hands cuffed behind me. This leaves me mouth as my only option to please her. My Lady had me assume the position as she began an evening of watching her shows. She was wearing a top and shirt skirt with no panties. She threw a blanket over herself/me and snuggled into the couch, using my shoulders as an ottoman for part of the time. To her mind it is worship if I am adjacent to her pussy, even if I'm not actively licking and sucking. Here and there she unlocked a cuff and sent me off for things, putting me back when my errand was complete. I spent the evening like that - she teased herself and me, with her being able to get her 'nightcap' and leaving me locked as usual. Another heaven or hell experience.

She is steadfast in her declaration that April is the earliest that I'll see an unlock.

 

Am I one of the unlucky ones?

A number of folks have posted on CM that it gets easier once you're past a few weeks locked up. I'm coming up on two months and my mind is mush, I'm so horny and preoccupied. One thing I know she likes is that my main outlet has become providing her with any/all attention that she desires, especially worshipping her pussy with my tongue. Under our arrangement, I'm forbidden from offering or initiating anything sexual - that's up to my Lady. Happily, she's definitely interested more often these days...

 

Rectrix,

Indeed I'm happy to be allowed to submit and serve and feel lucky about that. Where I feel unlucky is that chastity does not feel easier the longer I go (at least so far). OTOH, I guess my state of mind is just what my Lady prefers. As I wrote that, I realized: I'm probably not going to get unlocked much anymore, am I?

 

Breaking up is hard to do.

This is probably a forehead-slapper for most locked people on CM, but I realized that part of my struggle with lockup is that I'm being compelled to give up a nearly lifetime relationship between Mr. Happy and Rosie Palm and her five sisters. They ache for each other; Mr. Happy looks longingly out from behind bars, and Rosie wants to comfort him in the worst way. I know it's good and the best for me to forego masturbating, but it creates a void that I'm now working to fill. I guess once I work through my stages of grief I'll be fine.