Nicotime, I don't really have any feelings about chastity except that in giving up control my concern is that my relationship will not end up like yours or some of the others as noted here. My wife has brought up the subject so in fairness to her, I am investigating the pros and cons. Some of the conversations on the site I find very bothersome but more from how one human being is treating another standpoint. Unlike you who had a time in your life where sex was abundant I have always felt undersexed so you can see my reservations about giving control to someone in this situation. I could easily see going from minimal sex to no sex and that could be very hurtful. Your right, I don't think I can give up control in this situation. I know most of the people on the site say to give up control, don't top from the bottom etc.... but if I'm not getting my needs met, then why bother. As you can see, I can't get my head around this and will continue to pose questions out of a sense of fairness and obligation to my wife. I think you are right in your statement " you can't go home again" I was just curious as to your thoughts on how your relationship would change/ survive if the dynamic changed.