New beginnings

This will be my first post here.



Me and my wife are in our 40’s and we have a teenage son. We live in Sweden. We met 2007 and got married and had a kid and the normal family life. We enjoy traveling and especially to Thailand. We have had our up and downs in our marriage but a few weeks back my wife told me she was sad and not happy with where we were. She missed intimacy and didn’t like the way I acted around her (grumpy and not showing her attention). I know it’s true I have not always been a good husband. I have forever been occupied by many secret fetishes and watching porn, and a lot of time and money is devoted to this. I’m not sure if she knows I watch so much porn. I never really initiated sex, it was always my wife. I was not happy with our ”vanilla” sex life but was too afraid to tell her what I liked (Yeah, me being a pussy…) After her talk with me, where she actually told me that if things didn’t improve she didn’t see a future for us, I knew things has to change. I still love her.



So, I started to behave better, giving her more attention, kissing her, asking how she is and these kinds of things. Slowly I started to understand what I have to do. So, this past weekend I started telling her, after giving her oral sex which she love and after some wine, how I want to be submissive to her and how I want to be controlled by her and that she choose when I am allowed to orgasm. All this was very new to her (she is vanilla and don’t seem to have any kinks) but she didn’t react badly at all. She asked questions and we had a talk openly in a way that we never had before. I even told her that I would like her to take me anally (I have played before solo which I admitted to her when she asked me). So, I ended up buying a strap-harness with her approval (and for good measure I added a vibrating buttplug that can be controlled via an app). She told me I will need to clean myself before so I also bought that kind of intimate shower that you can use to squirt water up your ass. Like a small enema. The package will arrive this week.



I did even tell her about chastity cages and my desire for it. However, her initial reaction was not too positive, I think she said something like ”maybe not right now”. I think it was just too much for her right away. During the weekend I gave her many orgasms (she is multi-orgasmic) several times. The first times, she wanted to give back to me, giving me blowjobs. I’ll let her tease me but told her I don’t want to cum yet, trying to get her to decide it. I had some trouble getting her to understand this point but I keep re-enforcing it to her. She has teased my penis several times through my clothing during the weekend, making it hard. The last times on Sunday I gave her oral and she came she didn’t even ask about my needs. She was happy with what she got from me. Her orgasms. I have told her she just need to order me when she want an orgasm, so far she has not really ordered me, I have asked her and then she tell me to get going. Sometimes she can be a bit bossy, she has a streak of it inside her, maybe I just need to get it out of her.



Today is Monday, she is at work and I work from home today. We talked on the phone, nothing special, I told her I love her and I miss her. Soon after came a text from her. ”Horny?” ”Yeeeees!” I replied. She said ”show me” and I sent her a picture of my erect penis. She sent back a happy face with the tongue sticking out. This is a big milestone. In our 16 years together we have never sent anything naughty to each other and now this. I can’t wait to see where this journey will take us, I’m very excited about it. I just feel I want everything to happen quickly now but I do understand I probably need to take it slowly and not rush things too much. I would be happy to hear any advise how continue with things. My goal is to have her being my KH and me ending up in chastity and with her making the calls. We’ll see where this will take us.

 

First, thanks for the comments and feedback guys!
@ChasteJase Thanks for your suggestion and you are so right. I know I need to calm down and not push her too hard doing only what I want. But it is damn difficult!

So, yesterday when she arrived home from work a bit of teasing was going on. However we ended up talking and I admitted to how much I have masturbated in the past. It's clear she didn't think I masturbated that much or even at all. She was very sad and started to question me. I tried to apologize and admit what I've done is wrong and I want to improve and be a better husband for her. I don't think she was really against me wanking off once or twice but the problem was this had affected our sex life and me not wanting to have sex with her often. We talked a long time and I kept telling her that I don't want to masturbate alone anymore and my wish is that I don't cum to often, as then I will be less attentive. I feel this is really true, for me this journey is starting to show me what I can be and should be. I also want to stop or at least cut down on porn. It's a big time waste and also a lot of money down the drain.

She now started to understand my feelings a bit better and I'm sure she start to understand why not letting me cum all the time can be a good thing for her! I suggested she let me cum once every week or every 14 days. Or not, I told her it should be her decision. I think it may take some time for her to really embrace it. I think she still feel a bit guilty of not letting me cum but I try to tell her all the time that I enjoy sex like this and giving her pleasure. And that I don't have to cum every time, I don't want that.

That evening after we showered I played the submissive role, I stood naked before her with my hands behind me as she lay in bed and I said nothing. I think this took her by surprise, she was not sure how to react to my submissiveness. She even suspected I hid something in my hands as I stood in that pose... But then I kneeled and she put her ass in my face and I worshipped her. What a great feeling. I even got a quick taste of her delicate anus. She was aroused by this, I could tell as she slightly moaned but I think she also felt embarrassed by her feeling of power (I told her later I really want to taste her ass and she seemed satisfied with that).

Next I gave her a couple of orgasms from my tongue, which she just loves! She had mentioned earlier that evening she wanted to feel me inside her. We haven't had PIV in surely a year, I always preferred oral sex. I put on a condom and she straddled me in cowgirl. For her it hurt at first, she said she was so tight after so long time without my penis inside her (she doesn't use any dildo for herself). After a few minutes I felt I was about to come. As she had not told me I was allowed to cum I pulled out, telling her I was close. She was ok with it but I think she wanted to come from the penetration (she can normally come from PIV given enough time). As I removed the condom pre-cum dribbled everywhere. It was a bit dark in the bedroom and with almost an angry voice she asked if it was sperm. I said no - she asked several times before she could be sure. She said "good, because you are not allowed to cum today!" At this time I'm still rock hard as you can imagine.

After resting a while she ordered me to lick and caress her whole body and then finish her to another orgasm (her third that evening). I ended up humping my aching penis against her ass, I think she found it amusing. In the last 4 days she had +10 orgasms and zero for me. What a great feeling!

This morning she woke up early and got to work. She texted me later and I confessed how much I adore her and love her. And I told her how I can't keep my hands off myself, I'm so horny. She immediately replied "You are not allowed to cum". I promised her but told her it's difficult.

I really love this and can't wait to see where we may end up, I hope she will continue her part of this "play" as I call it to her.

I can't stop thinking of introducing chastity to our dynamic. But yes, I know I have to take it slow. Any suggestions on when and how I should tell her I want to try chastity? When we had our first talk I did mention chastity cages and that they exist, but I'm not sure how much notice she took as I spammed her with all (well, not all really...) my wishes/fetishes in that talk.

Wish all of you a great day!

 

@ChasteJase I actually read your story yesterday. I'm sorry it didn't really work out as you wished for.

 

@littleguy3 I don't remember exactly when I last masturbated, but I think it must be close to or around 10 days. I have stayed cleared of orgasming many days in the past, but of course I'm then horny all the time. Now, the good thing is my sexual energy is geared toward my wife and not into porn. While I've not orgasmed and in that way have been able to stay clear of any organs I just can't help myself, wanking myself off now and then when she is not around and stopping before I get off. But once or twice it's been extremely close. I'm not sure how to stop this behavior. I guess that's where a chastity cage would work wonder.

 

Everyone,



Thank you so much for all your incredible useful feedback! I just posted this for fun and never did I think I would get such insightful feedback. This has made me think a lot and push me in a direction for a better relationship and future with my wife.



@knightley
Your post really made me think. Thank you so much for that. The last part you mention about me expressing a wish to be submissive is something I think she had a somewhat hard time to understand and accept. I will tone it down for now. She has also wished for me now to take charge sometimes and just give it to her. So, I think I have to play this carefully.

@Rectrix
You are so right! I have always loved edging myself and I could keep myself from orgasming for several days, spending hours masturbating. After reading your message I have stopped doing that and leave that for my wife. It will take a lot of self-control to keep this.

 

So let me tell you about the last couple of days.

Things have continued to go very well. I am constant horny but so is my wife! Tuesday she demanded oral sex time after time and I gave her a total of 5 orgasms with my tongue. I love when she push my head against her so that I almost can't breathe. I'm there for her enjoyment.

She teased my cock and balls extensively that evening in bed. For a moment I thought I was going to cum only from her massaging my balls. Which I told her. She then told me I was allowed to cum and that she wanted to see me cum. The teasing continued and ended up in a proper handjob. The problem was I didn't cum. I couldn't. I'm not sure why. I wanted to, but also there was a feeling inside me that I didn't want to. Strange. So I ended up in a night of frustration again. In a good way.

She keep teasing me outside of the bedroom and I give her lots of attention, touching her, kissing her and giving her compliments. I think she almost think it is too much. I probably need to give her some space and time alone as well.

So, yesterday evening after work I couldn't wait anymore. My desire to tell her that I wanted her to lock me up was driving me crazy. My plan was to tell her this weekend but I ended up telling her spontaneously. She had never heard of a chastity cage or the concept at all. I tried to explain what it was and why I craved it and how she could be completely in charge of my penis. I showed her a picture of a chastity cage online so that she could understand what it was. We talked a bit about it, she was all for it but thought about it more like a sex toy to use in bed for an hour or so. I tried to explain it's more than that and that she can keep it on me longer times and outside the bedroom. She had a bit of trouble to understand that I was to wear it at work etc. But in the end it went fine and she accepted my wish to try it. I told her I want her to read an article this weekend. I plan on showing her the article mentioned by chasteJase.

She was extremely horny that evening and she had me worship her ass, anus and pussy, giving her two orgasms. While she teased my cock a little it didn't seem she was so interested in giving my much pleasure yesterday. She just wanted her pleasure. She didn't mention anything about if I wanted to cum. I didn't ask either. I had a very frustrated night! Extremely excited about the prospect to start with chastity for real. Let's see where it may end up!

Anyone have suggestions for chastity cages? I'm looking at the cobra kink3D. But I'm very new to chastity cages and what's out there.

 

Yeah, probably need to slow down a bit as suggested. However that is not what really happened the next day.

Thursday evening the package with the strap-on had arrived. My wife noticed the package and immediately wanted to see it. She seemed intrigued by it. During the evening there was a lot of teasing going on and both of us were horny as hell. When play time arrived later in the evening, we got naked and good she was sexy in her wet hair as she just got out of the shower. I teased her clitoris with the tip of my penis for a long time which she loved. I then asked her if she wanted to test out the strap-on and she said yes. I helped put it on her and she lubed it up. She started to penetrate me from behind standing. It took a few minutes of slow progress but soon she had the dildo inside my ass. I have played solo with anal toys before so I have some experience. She bend me over and started to fuck me harder. It felt fantastic!

Soon I had to tell her I may come, it felt so good. She slowed down and we made our way to the bed where I lay down and she took me in missionary. After a bit of trial and error to get the plastic inside me finally she was in and started to push and soon the entire length was inside me. What was amazing was that yes, it felt great for me, but also for her! She moaned and started to fuck me really hard, pushing her body close to me as I spread my legs further to invite her body on top of me. Soon, as she continued her hard fucking making me close to the edge, she squirmed that she was going to cum. And she did. I have no idea how she could cum from this, I was very surprised but at the same time I felt myself about to cum and asked her for permission and she said yes. I orgasmed as she fucked my ass. It was not an orgasm like the normal from penis stimulation. The cum just slowly oozed out. But it felt really good. So there you have it, our first pegging and both of us orgasmed. Sound to good to be true, to me that was a magical moment I think I will never forget.

However, as I laid there with the cum on my stomach, she just suddenly went away, removing the strap on and putting on her robe. She seemed angry/sad. Not sure of the exact feeling she had. I asked her what's going on. She told me "It's over. You came." I tried to reason with her, I can't now remember exactly what I said. Suddenly that fantastic moment turned into something else entirely. We started to argue, me trying to find out why she suddenly got pissed. She told me things like "I didn't want you to cum with that plastic, I wanted you to cum inside me" and plainly "I didn't want you to cum at all". I told her that she said she was ok with me cumming. So we argued about all this for a long time and we both got angry and sad. In the past, she had outbursts like this, but it's not what I wanted now when things seemed to go so well.

As we talked and opened up she told me a few weeks ago she looked for apartments, as she was very close to move away from me, as she didn't enjoy our marriage anymore. We talked about it, and I continued to tell her how much I love her and that I am now doing everything I can to show her that. She also started to blame herself, I know that sometimes she has low self esteem. As I have written before, my own masturbation and porn addiction is the problem that our intimacy faded away. And that I didn't have the courage to tell her about what I wanted, sexually.

In the end, almost midnight, things calmed down and with an intense look in her eyes, that I couldn't really recognize, she said to me "You are my slave now" and pushed my head down to lick her to an orgasm before we both tired fell asleep. I can't believe she told me I'm her slave, it's nothing I told her to say so it was all from herself which I find really hot. However since that time she hasn't called me that again.

 

Things are progressing nicely I believe. We have now spoken and agreed she is completely in charge of when I get to cum. I promised her I won’t ask or beg for it. While she has teased my cock many times this weekend (both during sex and also outside the bedroom) she has not shown any intention or said anything about my orgasm. A few times she has teased me just saying he is not allowed to cum.

I have been a lot better with my self discipline, not masturbating or edging myself. I think the orgasm I got when she pegged me really helped to reduce some of the worst desperation after around two weeks without orgasm.

My wife has continued to require many orgasms which I am happy to oblige to of course. I keep telling her how much I love to lick her pussy. Which is really true, I love it! Yesterday morning in bed after I had licked her to orgasm she suddenly pushed me to her chest to lick her nipples while she put her hand inside her panties and started to masturbate. I got instantly rock hard, it’s the first time she did that in front of me and I felt like now I was even denied of her pussy (of course only temporary but still really hot).

In general our communication is improving each day and I do my best to help around the house more (which I have neglected in the past) and I’m more attentive to my wife’s needs.

I have now ordered a chastity cage. I got a kink3d black. I showed the order to her, and while she didn’t seem too enthusiastic about it at least she asked a few questions like can I pee in it etc. I’m feeling she still see it as more of a toy than something to wear all the time. So, yes, I guess I have to be patient and play with it on her terms.

something that surprised me what that she started to ask a lot about what I used to look at when masturbating. I was not totally ready and comfortable to tell the truth (I watch a lot of kinky stuff that I just can’t tell her about suddenly) and I just said like “nothing special”. Later she expressed a desire to watch videos of pegging. I have found a few couple friendly videos with both pegging and chastity. I will try to find a good time to watch it together if she is still up for it.

This morning as we woke up she told me she had a dream. In her dream she had been fucked in the ass by my strap on. WTF. I can’t believe it. Then she confessed she sometimes dreams having a cock. I really don’t know what to make up of this. I really hope this means there is more strap on play in the future. I don’t want to press her. I give her hints and I talked about how much I enjoyed our session and explained why. I think she has feelings it’s very strange and wrong but she is clearly very excited as well. I sent her to work this morning with a fresh orgasm for the first time in many years.

To be continued…

 

Yes, you are so right! She is really trying hard to satisfy me and fulfill my fantasies. I have told her many times how grateful I am for her trying and being open to try this with me. I can't wish for more than that.

I spoke to her again this morning about how I have masturbated too much, much more that what she think and I admitted to before. It seems she doesn't take it to badly, telling me it's my body and she masturbate sometimes too. Even when I tell her I think my habits has influenced our marriage negatively she just told me "I forgive you" and seems she wasn't very upset or anything. Maybe that's a good thing, I don't know. Of course I'm sure she don't want me to continue to masturbate behind her back after what I've told her and I have no intention of doing that now. I have hinted many times that the cage may help me, just to get her to understand the benefits for her. It seems she doesn't really think the same way, she hasn't mentioned anything that I *need* to be locked up or anything like that (which I would love!).

I told her I want her to read an article that will explain more of what I want and how this can work so I still intend to share that webpage of a happy marriage. I have google translated it to her local language already as I don't think she will understand it very well in English.

But I love that she tease me a lot, grabbing my dick, commenting how I'm always horny and hard. That she want to be pleasured every day (now she is getting her period and she talked about staying without orgasm for a few days so we'll see how that work out). She is also telling me how I'm not allowed to cum and things like that. I can tell she is saying this mostly because she know that is what I want to hear but I do have a feeling it may be also something she herself may want. At least I hope so....

 

So, a little funny thing happened this morning. I came out of the shower with my towel on. My wife came by and just removed the towel letting it slip to the floor. Then she gently started to slap my penis which immediately started to get hard by the attention. In her hand she had an empty paper roll. She put in on my penis and told me "See, now you don't need to buy a cage" and laughed. It was pretty funny. I can't wait for my REAL cage to come tomorrow.

 

Hello,

The journey has continued and now I'm locked by my wonderful wife!

The cage arrived Thursday and with my wife's approval I tested it alone to see how it function. It's clear that the base ring may need to switch to a smaller size, I have one on the way to test out. I also suspect the cage could be a smaller size in the future but for now the one I have is fine to start out with.

When she arrived home from work I asked if I should put it on and she told me "yes". When I had put it on and stood before her she just pulled down my pants and she saw my caged cock for the first time. Her reaction was a laud laughter! I can agree it look a bit funny and also considering she has never seen a caged cock before in her life I think it was a great reaction.

Throughout the evening she grabbed my caged penis many times and she was not at all negative about it which was a great. She even called by caged dick "cute" and she continue to do so on a regular basis.

At bedtime she slipped into a sexy nightgown and teased me. She pinned me down, her hands on my hands, holding me down as her pussy teased my caged cock. It strained as best as it could against the cage. After she was done teasing me she lay down and pulled me to her breasts to suck her nipples as she masturbated herself to orgasm. She told me she really like when I lick her nipples and she make herself orgasm.

She teased me more and asked if I could come in the cage and I told her I don't know. Anyway she unlocked my cock and gave it a handjob and told me I was allowed to cum (at this time it's been a week since my last orgasm from her pegging me). She gave me some pleasure with her hand but after just a minute or so she stopped, looking like she didn't have to energy to bring me to orgasm. She told me no orgasm tonight and I went to sleep very horny.

Friday we were both very busy at work, when I came home she was already at home. She told me to put on the cage and I happily agreed. She continued to tease me during the evening, grabbing my caged dick many times, teasing me all the time. She is very good already at this!

Before sleeping we cuddled and kissed and she teased my caged cock. Again she masturbated to orgasm with me licking her nipples (she has her period and don't want me licking her pussy). To my surprise she made no intention to unlock me before sleeping, she just put the key in the drawer of her nightstand. Well, I didn't say anything of course. Earlier she had told me there was no reason that I would be locked at night but seems things changed very quickly! The night in the cage was quite rough. Woke up many time with an erect penis pulling on the cage.

After we woke up today we spent some time in bed talking about it all. Our communication is so much better now and she really make an effort to make this work. She is so fantastic and I make sure to spoil her and tell her how great she is doing. And she seems to enjoy it quite a bit as well even if this dynamic is new to both of us. She then unlocked me and told me to masturbate to orgasm while she watched. I was done in a minute! She was amazed how quick I was, LOL.

After breakfast she told me to take a shower and then put the cage on and give her the key which I of course did. So now I'm locked again. Later this evening we are going to my sisters birthday party. I wonder if she will keep me caged or not for the party....

 

She kept me caged for the family party which was exciting for sure. When the cage arrived and we talked about her keeping me locked she only thought it was needed around the house. But she has quickly changed her mind now when she see how it works and how discrete it is.

When we arrived home she was pretty drunk and requested me to make her come. She was very dominant and requested me to always tell her how much I liked to lick her pussy while I was doing it. Her orgasm took a long time but in the end she came beautifully. She fell quickly asleep leaving me caged and horny for the night. Just as it should be I suppose.

Sunday:
I was going to a football game with my son and two other family members. I expressed some concern wearing the cage away without her and the key (I chickened out). She was surprised but we talked about it and she let me go without the cage, "only this time", she told me. When I got home she told me "get upstairs now" and in our bedroom she handed me the cage to put it on. This was just what I wanted, her being strict with enforcing me to wear it. Yeah, she got another orgasm that evening.

Monday:
I worked from home and she had a day off. We went to the gym, I asked if I could be unlocked for the training and she confirmed. I'm not sure if it's possible to workout with the cage. I suppose it may be. We will see in the future. Later that day we went shopping for a few hours. I had received a new base ring, a smaller 1 5/8 inch compared to the 1 3/4 inch. It fit snugly and I think it was not too tight. But it felt so much more restricting. But it's clear the larger one is too large and while I'm now still using the larger I will probably try to switch to the smaller ring slowly. She unlocked me that evening and I got to sleep without the cage which was kind of nice. She told me I will be caged again tomorrow morning for work.

Tuesday:
My first day at work with the cage. It went fine. Not so much happened during the day. In the evening I gave her another orgasm. She teased my caged penis but was clear I'm not being let out. Then she told me I will not get any orgasm for a month! I'm not sure if she is telling me the truth or not. I have tried to get her to understand it's her choice when to allow me to come, when to let me out and so on. I can tell she is slowly starting to make her own decisions.

To be continued...