My wife might be on board

But...

But I'm finding that the longer I have it on, the less power it has. My horniness has subsided. Without horniness, what is the power in the cage?

I believe that some teasing from her would bring back some horniness (and perhaps some or all of that cage power).

Otherwise I have to fake it, which I'm probably not capable of.

Thoughts?

 

So, I've been out of chastity for about a month. But other things are happening slowly.

My wife mentioned the other day that being tied up sounded "interesting". As in she might like me to start with a little light bondage on her. Strangely enough, this is how I got started on this path.... Wanting to tie her up. Wanting to be tied up. I guess my kink is rubbing off a bit.

Then today at work, I got a text that basically tells me that I've been giving her too much lip, and that I need to lock up.

Time will tell what she has in mind....

 

Today, she said that I look sexy in the cage. I asked "why, because you own me?"

She said it was sexy because I was wrapped up 'like this' (making a fist) and that it belongs to her.

Later I asked in an email if she really thought it was sexy or if she was humoring me. "Nope you are sexy in your cage ...actually my cage".

Well... Reality is pushing me in interesting directions....

 

My last lock up was over a month ago. It ended with me having a skin condition that made removal necessary. I think that scarred her a little. I know why it happened (I tried a day without any lube based on a comment here) but I think it put some hesitation in her head.

So I've been pestering her to read the thread "The Noose Tightens" for a while. Utimately, I started to serialize the thread for her in emails to break it into more manageable pieces. She finally started reading it. I'm not sure how much she read, but that's not all that important. The important part is that she
responded to me "➰ Rope... choking your pee pee...needs caging I see..." which, oddly enough, seems encouraging, right?

That was yesterday. Last night at home, however, I asked her if she wanted me caged. Her answer was something to the effect of "I guess" accompanied by a half eye roll. It felt like for her, having me wear a cage was better than me pestering her about it. There is a possibility that I'm misreading, and she's just embarrassed to admit that she kinda wants it too, but I don't think so.

So.... The quandary. If she feels pestered, I'm not sure what the point is. I mean, I'm doing it to make a (hopefully positive) change in our relationship. But if she isn't on board.... It isn't positive?

How to navigate this? It seems that if I let her lead, she's happy with status quo. But if I lead, it's not really the promised control that I've offered to her.

The thing is that chastity... It's kinda a last gasp. Our sex life is not really working for me, and she has flat refused many other suggestions I've made to spice it up. But she doesn't really want spice. So chastity kinda felt like a happy medium where I live in kink, and she doesn't have to take part in any sexual activity that she doesn't want.

But... If I'm honest, just being in a cage doesn't scratch my itch. She also has to take part in some tease and denial. Otherwise I'm going to feel locked and forgotten.

So what I'm saying is that I'm not sure if I should even be in a cage right now. I can't do locked and forgotten for very long before I feel resentment blooming. But not having any kink is also a recipe for resentment. I don't know what to do. Do I put the cage on and hope she comes around, or do I wait for her to make a move that will probably not happen? Or something else?

 

I chose to go back to the cage, of course. I think there is incremental improvement in our sex lives. I just want it all at once, of course. But I think it's getting better and I think she would agree.

 

I suspect that the answer is different for each woman. Some will never take part, some want it as soon as they learn about it. Most fall somewhere in between. Of course how much they are influenced by cultural stigma against kink will be a big influence as well.

 

So it's been a few days. I mean, I need patience. Normally I'm pretty patient, but when my junk is locked... It's like I'm on a continual weird hormonal swing. One day I'm ready for the long haul, and the next I'm ready to throw in the towel.

Of course, if I get out of the cage, I will crave being back in it soon enough. That's the weird thing. Who would want this? I mean obviously I want something that I'm working towards... But we aren't there yet, and the road is full of the wrong type of frustration. I feel locked and forgotten, but it's only been a few days.

Like I said. I need patience. I need to think on a timeline of months and years, but me and my junk can only think in hours and days.

So my plan, in this moment, is looooong term. When she let's me out, I will lock myself back up when she's done with me (I have to assume she won't enforce it yet). Can I stick to this plan? Will it even seem possible to me tomorrow? I don't know. Eventually she will notice a difference in me that will make enforcing the lockup worth her while... Right?

So what has my wheels turning right now.... I sent her the thing written by the woman titled "How and Why I Keep My Husband in Chastity", and her takeaway was that she would not be having Dr (OBGYN) unlock me for my checkups the way that woman has her doc as her husband's general practitioner. Fine... But my mind goes directly to another idea in the article... That the keyholder should tell at least one friend! <record scratch>. Whoa! The fact that she didn't say she would never tell a friend.... I shouldn't take it as evidence that she would (or has) but my locked up perverted mind can't help but jump there.

So my mind is cranking in the "who would she be most likely to to tell, and would it ever become something discussed in my presence" scenarios.

And of course Mr happy can't help but try to escape every time I think about it... Which is a miniature obsession.

Even if that's currently off the table, the fact that she actually read enough of the article to comment on it with correct context is evidence of progress.... Which makes me impatient to jump to the fantasy realm.

Yeah. I need patience.

 

https://lustmoments.com/how-and-why-i-keep-my-husband-in-chastity/

 

Yeah. My wife has encouraged me to share fantasies, and some of them have been fairly over the top and she has said that I should continue, but I agree that the article is not the most vanilla friendly article. I actually edited out the whole diaper play aspect as I know she is having no part of that and I don't want that either.

 

Last night was rough. I've been locked for a week now, and it's getting into that phase where frustration is starting to settle in, and every move she makes causes a stirring in me.

I woke up in the middle of the night with a raging erection fighting a valiant fight against steel bars, and my testicles were caught in the crossfire, and were being painfully stretched.

So... Pee and it will subside, right? Well. I couldn't pee. I think that the cage was too tight and the erection too large so that the urethra was constricted. So I had to tough it out.

What made it hard is that she has left the key very accessible. I easily could have taken it without notice and had a quick wank. I would like her to actually take ownership in a more definitive way, but I guess she isn't ready yet.

It's funny how powerful this can be. My breath catches every time she moves. And, you know, this is the easy part. I think it's harder once you get used to it, and have no fight left.