Love and denial

Elle is reading another steamy romance/erotic book, the follow up to Bedding the wrong brother. Yesterday she released me from my HT telling me that I was to make love to her today. (She said tomorrow, but that was yesterday, but you get my point!) I have been trying to put the thought of that happening to the back of my mind so I could concentrate on spending the day in as normal a way as possible.

After a wonderful Sunday spent in each others company Elle announced she needed a shower to wash her hair in time for work tomorrow. Solo, I asked? No, you have something you need to do for me, she said with a smirk on her face that took my breath away.

What followed was an utterly fantastic evening. I was told to be a bit dominant, though it was funny that Elle couldn't completely let go of being in charge. I gave her as good a seeing to in the shower as she usually does to me. She thoroughly enjoyed herself. After she dried off and got onto the bed I massaged her back. Usually I would then lick her bottom and pussy but she decided that she just wanted to be taken in a gently rough way. Rough enough to feel like I was in charge but not in a painful way.

I sprayed some delay spray on to my glans and shaft, rubbed it in and washed my hands off. Her massage was brilliant though I did miss the chance to lick her bottom. Instead I massaged it with my fingers which Elle enjoyed though later she told me not as much as she does when I use my tongue. After I got her worked up I told her I was hard for her and was ready to fuck her. What are you going to do about it then, she said.

I flipped her on to her back and used my fingers to play with her pussy and apply some lube. I could just about feel her as I gently slid my penis in. I have discovered that too much delay spray is bad for both of us as I need to be able to feel what I am doing so I can give her the sensations she desires. It would appear I got the spray exactly right.

If you would have told me a year ago that I would have a great time having sex with Elle with no thought of trying to cum myself I would have laughed at you. But I did, and it was bloody amazing. I had so much fun, really taking my time. I had put on a tripple cock ring arrangement that gave me a really good tool to use, in the past the delay spray has been so good at numbing me I went limp. That didn't happen this evening. Elle said that she really enjoyed the feel of me, and oh, yes, so did I. I was able to go for as long as Elle needed, feeling her, and watching her enjoy the sensation. When she started to build up for an orgasm I slowed down, and made sure she knew that I knew, before giving her the strength and rhythm that she needed to take her over.

It was fantastic. It was some of the best sex I have ever had. I didn't orgasm, I didn't want to, I didn't ask to.

 

Hi @KatyTwilight - It was indeed an amazing experience. It confirmed that she is naturally in charge and not just putting on an act. She let me be the dom but only for a few short moments and definitely within parameters. Elle enjoyed it as well, she liked me being a bit more assertive.

I got my numbing cream off of Amazon in the UK, so it should be easy for you to get.

https://www.amazon.co.uk/gp/product/B01BI8ARIW/

I was a bit sceptical when I ordered it, you hear so many claims made for amazing sex products but this stuff is actually amazing. A spray or two reduces sensitivity, a few more sprays reduces it further and if you spray your head and shaft with five or six sprays you cannot feel a thing. Obviously then the issue is keeping an erection that can actually be useful, we bought some cock rings from Lovehoney that do a brilliant job. With experimentation we have found that a ruined orgasm the day before and then just a few sprays to reduce but not remove sensitivity completely works best. Being able to feel my penis and use it properly made a big difference for Elle.

Elle did mention after we finished that she was disappointed that I didn't cum as well. I told her that she hadn't said that I could, and I was enjoying myself so much I wasn't going to ask. She had forgotten that our default is unless she says I can then I cannot cum. I didn't mind, this was an amazing experience for me and I had so much fun that to be honest an orgasm would have spoilt it for me. This way I was able to feel in control. give Elle a lot of pleasure and not feel in any way that it was about me. That suited my submissive side and my loving husband side equally.

There is one slight issue and it is a reason why at the moment my chastity is not going to be permanent. I asked Elle how much better sex is when we cum together. I was expecting something like a little bit better, so I was shocked when Elle thought for a moment and then said that it is about 40% better! The problem is that we have only managed a simultaneous orgasm a handful of times in our entire relationship.

Like you though @Caged Wolf I have reached a point where I am having so much fun and the way Elle makes me feel is so intense when I go without an orgasm that I don't need them anymore. I would happily be made to masturbate to a ruined orgasm once a month kneeling at her feet to keep me from having a more intense unscheduled release. That made me feel completely submissive and increased the intensity of my feelings for Elle. Masturbating without visual stimulation other than Elle watching me further demonstrated how far we have come over the past year.

 

I am about to enter a period of denial by default soon. Elle and I are going back to England for a few days but on Sunday I will fly back to Germany and she will stay behind. She is working at the head offices of the company she works at for three weeks. It will be the longest we have been apart since I moved to Germany a year ago, but it is nothing in comparison to some of our times spent apart. During our marriage 6 months hasn't been unusual and three months has happened more times than I care to remember. That said things are different now that we are locking my penis up and denying me self administered orgasms!

Last night, knowing that this period was imminent, Elle let me give her a back massage followed by our now traditional bottom and pussy licking session. I helped her to a nice but not massively powerful orgasm. It was a wonderful evening especially given how I normally don't have many opportunities to pleasure her during the week, especially after such an intense weekend.

I drove Elle to work this morning and we had a quick chat about what occurred at the weekend. She had commented about how I wasn't allowed to masturbate any more and how this turned her on. I asked Elle what it had been like for her watching me kneel in front of her masturbating on Saturday evening. She said that she had done it before and I disagreed. She has helped me masturbate in the past, lying next to me and stroking my thighs, chest and abdomen while I gave myself an orgasm, and this was an amazing experience each time we did it. She was always lying next to me, not exactly watching, and was involved. This time she was sat on the bed, the lights were on, I was kneeling on the floor in front of her and doing it to myself.

Elle thought for a moment and then said that she really enjoyed watching me. I don't know if we will do it again, you can never tell with Elle, but we have both admitted to each other that we enjoyed the experience so I don't see why it wouldn't. It made me feel very submissive. I have already written about the level of control she imposed over me and that side of her is still developing. It is another example of something we have done ensuring we will never go back to a pre-chastity relationship setup.

 

I am currently sat in a dark hotel bathroom, the only light coming from the screen of my iPad. I am trying to be quiet so I do not disturb Elle. Later today I am going back to Germany, leaving Elle in England as she will spend three weeks working at her head offices.

Elle has been utterly incredible over the past few days. Our trip to England has been tinged with sadness as we had to come back early to say goodbye to a dear friend, another who had been to our wedding and is now no longer with us. Elle has been loving, caring and supportive. She hasn't allowed me any leeway with regards to my behavior or attitude, but in private she really has made a difference. What has happened to our friend has definitely brought what we are doing intomsharp focus and made us determined, more determined, to make this work.

On that, it seems that with every passing minute Elle is becoming more and more confident with the role she has taken on. Keyholder seems such a simple, small title, but in reality taking it on has seen her go through a subtle but profound change in her personality.

Last night we did a questionnaire that is in Mistress Ivey Green's 'How to set up an FLR'. It was quite an eye opener, for both of us. It has questions for her and questions for him. Comparing the answers we discovered that one reason we have been successful over the past year is we see things almost exactly the same. Singing from the same hymn sheet, as it were.

Some of Elle's answers took my breath away and give me an inkling of where we are heading. These were the amount of answers she selected from the A column. Almost all were from the A or B column, with only a few from other answers. I will go into more detail about this tomorrow, when I'm sat at my computer in a comfortable chair.

 

One of the nicest things I have had happen to me in recent times was when a member of the Mansion whose opinion I greatly value told me something in a private message. She said that she trusted me because I live in a 'Solid FLR'. This really made me happy, as it is something I have mentioned but not exactly gone into much detail about in my journals. The simple fact is you can tell I live in an FLR if you read between the lines but for this person to say it in such a definite way was a big thing.

Because of this I thought that I would discuss Elle and my FLR arrangement and share some of the questions in the Mistress Ivey Green 'How to set up an FLR' questionnaire we read at the weekend, along with the answers we gave and with some of my thoughts.

Elle has always denied that we lived in an FLR. She has only very recently admitted that she is in charge and even more recently said that she enjoys being in charge. At first she was uncomfortable with the idea of calling it an FLR. I think this was partly down to her not being sure that I really wanted it or if it was the right thing to do. By introducing my chastity to the arrangement I think she now fully understands the benefits of what we are doing and is coming to accept and in some cases demand the rules of our FLR. Elle answered the questions about this with the fact that she likes being in charge but sometimes she does feel uncomfortable. We discussed this and she said that the feelings of being uncomfortable are lessening as she becomes used to the idea and I show that I am not playing at this, and support her when she is having difficulties.

One of the questions that highlighted her style of control and management of our relationship was Q3. I would like control of his free time to be... Both of us answered C, shared equally. It was one of only two C answers in the 32 questions we answered. (Elle had just one in the D column, I had none. We both answered C to the same questions. The idea is the more answers you have in the A and B columns the more you are ready to live in an FLR.)

Elle doesn't want to micromanage me. If she felt she had to control all of my spare time, or even most of it, it would become a chore for her. This is not going to happen. She expects me to not abuse this privilege though, and she has expectations of what I am expected to do in a day. I value my time and I like the opportunity to do things that encourage her to trust me. I am not going to do anything to risk that trust, it is at the core everything we do.

One of the surprises for me was her answer to Q7. I would like him to acknowledge I am head of the household. I had answered A, that I wanted her to say she was head of the household publicly. I was shocked when she also answered the question with A. Publicly. Elle is very private with our chastity arrangement and has no intention of telling anyone, not even her closest friends. At least not yet. The fact that the FLR section is open to be announced shows how far she has come in being comfortable with Our Arrangement.

When I totted up all of the answers it showed she had 28/31 in the A or B column and I had 29. I discarded one question as being too confusing and contradictory. Elle had 13 A answers and 15 B's. I had 18 A's and 11 B's. I think this shows that I want this a bit more, or that I am more comfortable with the idea. This is to be expected as I have been thinking about this a lot longer than she has and in my head we were already doing this. It does however make things more clear to me and helps me with moving further into this lifestyle.

It would be interesting to do the questionnaire in another year and see what the changes, if any are.

 

This is something my Wife and I have discussed recently. I thought I was heading towards longer and longer periods of denial as Elle got used to this lifestyle. It turns out that she enjoys making me cum so much that this is not likely to happen just yet. I was shocked when she said sex when we have a simultaneous orgasm is about 40% better than when she has one and I don't.

The issue is the post orgasm drop and how long it takes to build up what I describe as my 'fizz'. I envy the guys who get back their heightened senses in a few days as unfortunately it takes me two to three weeks. It takes about a month before my Wife gets me to the stage where the slightest glance or touch gets my pulse racing. All of that is lost after an orgasm.

When I first started this I read somewhere that the guy preferred the feelings of being horny all the time to the brief explosion of feelings you achieve with an orgasm. I have definitely reached that point. If my Wife commands me to cum then that is what I do.

 

Hi @Uxorious That is an interesting point. I think that I knew my Wife liked it when we had a simultaneous orgasm, I know I had a good feeling when it happened. What I wasn't expecting was how it felt so much better than just a normal orgasm. What I also had no idea about was she can actually feel me ejaculating. That blew my mind!

It just never occurred to me that it was so big for her that it is one of the reasons she still likes having sex with me, as she is always hoping it will happen. We have had one almighty joint orgasm earlier in the year, it was truly epic. I really wish I could do that for her more often.

 

Thanks @Uxorious for your points and questions, as much as I enjoy having a platform for writing my ramblings I love it more when people engage and make me think about what I am doing, ask questions that make me think deeper and in a different way. What follows is a bit of an essay, I hope no one minds!

What I meant to say previously was What I wasn't expecting was how it felt so much better for her than when we just had a normal orgasm. As in one of us had an orgasm and hopefully the other one managed to as well. It is one of the reasons I have really enjoyed chastity as it removed this performance anxiety from me, I no longer get to cum, and that is fine by me, because I was always wanting Elle to, and always anxious that she wouldn't, and always upset when she didn't. Now she has an orgasm every time we make love, and that is awesome. The problem should be obvious. When we cum together Elle loves it, loves it so much it is nearly twice as good as when it is just her that has one. If I am not able to cum, or not allowed to, this pleasure is denied to Elle, and my chastity is never about denying her.

When Elle and I first met, back when I wasn't at least a thousand years old and life seemed to stretch into the far and unknown future, I could keep going after I had an orgasm and Elle hadn't. Over time I lost that ability. These days if I cum my good friend downstairs decides that it has done what it needs to do and decides to go back to sleep, or at least have a doze. I lose girth and this means that Elle has absolutely no chance of getting anywhere. If Elle has an orgasm and I am not close enough I am very aware, very quickly, that she is going to get uncomfortable if I continue, so I stop. Again, before chastity this would leave me frustrated and Elle disappointed. She felt that she had let me down, that she in some way wasn't sexy enough to get me to the point of orgasm. It didn't matter how many times I assured her that it was me with the problem, not her.

Your first question, do I not know how to edge? No, not even remotely, at least not when we are making love. I had never even heard of it until I started reading about chastity. I can do it when I masturbate, although I think I can as I am not actually allowed to masturbate any more. Elle told me to give myself a ruined orgasm by masturbating a few weekends ago and I basically edged myself towards it, to ensure I didn't give myself an accidental full orgasm. When we are making love if I get to the point where I am going to cum there is nothing I know that can stop it.

You say I am experienced. I actually feel that I am absolutely not. Yes, I have got used to the idea of chastity over the past year, and I have calmed down a lot with the pressures and worries that it brings. I am very experienced with pleasuring Elle orally, I have an almost 100% record of getting her to orgasm that way. I recently had to relearn my technique but we worked together and now I am better at this than ever. The problem is we never did that same process with regards to making love. There was a time when we were like the proverbial rabbits but, before chastity, we were definitely in that downward spiral of having less sex due to lack of interest that many couples experience. We were aware of this and trying to do something about it but quite frankly failing. It seems odd that chastity was going to be the thing that achieved this! Elle has had many more orgasms this year despite three extended periods of abstinence for her through illness and travel, that have essentially stopped any sexual activity this year for a total of about three months.

Your next question was does Elle have problems reaching orgasm. Well, that depends. it is all about the type of woman Elle is when it comes to her coming.

Elle is very definitely a one a day sort of woman. She doesn't have multiple orgasms. Once she has reached the peak she has to come back down and wait for a good day or so before trying again. We have recently discovered that she is also only able to have an orgasm for about three days in a row, and each day it gets harder for her to reach the peak. A while back we did pander to my obsession with trying to go for more days in a row and on the fourth day she had to stop me and tell me it just wasn't going to happen. What I was doing was nice, she was enjoying it, and she could tell that usually it would be enough, but she could also tell that she just wasn't going to cum.

As for using a vibe my Wife had never had an orgasm with a vibrator until this year, when we bought a Lovehoney Wand Massager on a recommendation from Keephimcaged. It was an amazing moment. We realised that vibrators that penetrated, mimicked a penis, did absolutely nothing for her. The massager on the other hand was incredible, and she has had several with it. The best moment was when she used it on herself while I licked her bottom and was able to see how she did it. She was a lot rougher with herself than I had been when I failed to get her to orgasm with the massager.

I think it needs saying that Elle does not masturbate. She never has. Even when we have been apart for months, which we have as we lived in separate countries for many years on and off due to work. I would never be able to switch and deny her orgasms as it simply wouldn't bother her at all! The next thing that needs saying is that what Elle needs to reach orgasm is the very reason I sometimes cum too soon. She needs persistent and consistent rhythm, pressure and strength from me. She needs me close to her, bodies touching as much as possible. If I slow down due to getting close and she drifts away from the peak herself there is nothing I can do to get her back up there. That is it, game over. So if I get close the only thing I can do is keep going, so that sends me over and probably not Elle. All I can hope is that she is close herself.

Now we get to chastity. Because we go a few months between when I am allowed an orgasm I am super sensitive. I recently had a ruined, hands free orgasm from just watching a particularly hot pornographic clip on Tumblr. So when we make love I use delay spray to remove sensitivity and allow myself to perform. This basically means that I am unlikely to cum. As I said I am fine with this, I prefer it. I am the perfect candidate for male chastity as I really don't want to cum. Or at least I didn't until I realised how important it was for Elle that I did.

I totally agree that as older men we should reduce our orgasms, though again I had not read about this until recently form an Eastern philosophy perspective. Making love with Elle was a rare pleasure for me and a pressured one at that. So I resorted to masturbation. The problem was it was sad, lonely, boring. The regular orgasms reduced the intensity to the point of not actually being pleasurable, I did it because I thought I should, because I was bored. Now a ruined orgasm like the one I had recently feels better than a full orgasm from masturbating I had a year ago. It really did not take me long to realise that giving Elle an orgasm was an excellent substitute for having one myself.

@Uxorious I think you can tell that in no way have you offended me. Not even remotely. I hope I haven't bored you with such a long winded answer to such a simple question!

Peace back to you. Long may we both serve our Mistress with the fullness of our love and attention, in whatever way they deem is suitable.

 

Nothing to see here. I'm in a hotel room in the top middle of Germany, Elle is still in London. Yes, I'm locked. She teased me over Skype a few days ago by flashing me her breasts and getting them to do that wiggle, that sway that only a large pair of breasts can do. I absolutely immediately swelled up around my cage.

So, business as usual for an international chastity couple.

 

November 16, in just under three weeks, is the first anniversary of me joining CM. I think it is an understatement to say a lot has happened in that year. I am reading through the early posts in my first Journal - https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/complicated-start.16347/ to see if anything has changed.

On November 16 I wrote "She is not interested in a 24/7 S/d relationship. We are looking at bringing elements of BDSM into our sex life but again we are beginners, so this is something that will develop over time. She is not wanting to sissify me, she wants me to be a loving attentive hard working man. She is not interested in abusive language, her style is one of positive reinforcement, not negative."

Well, you can see I was still learning. S/d? Obviously that is the wrong way around. D/s, of course, what was I thinking! Elle still does not want to sissify me but we have begun to use cross dressing. I do not attempt to look overly feminine though, I am not ever going to be able to pull that off. She still wants me to be that loving attentive hard working man and she still doesn't use abusive language. She has however become very comfortable with punishment both in real terms and as role play. We have very definitely brought elements of BDSM into our sex life though I would still describe this as light and us still as beginners.

Given how far we have come in the past year it is actually remarkable how little has changed. We still have the same two rules, with only one extra which basically says that Elle is in charge and what she says goes,

November 18 2015 was the day that Elle fully became my Keyholder. Before that I had a spare on me due to all the problems I had been having and needing to be able to get out of the device asap. It was a week later that she stopped leaving me a spare key that I could access easily. This is one area that still hasn't really changed and I wish Elle was stricter about. I know and appreciate that she trusts me, but like many men I crave more control. I understand why she has said no to me having a piercing, she needs to trust me to make this interesting and a piercing locked device removes the need for trust. But I need a deeper sense of control to help me be more submissive.

I think that over the next few weeks I will read through the many posts I made in my first journal and see if I can find the dates that significant events happened and look for any similarities or changes that have happened so far.

 

Elle is in England and I have been away from home working for a German company as a freelance consultant. I was staying in a very swish suite paid for by the company who get the work for me so that was nice! On the second night there I had a shower and with Elle's permission I pulled my penis out of the tube to give it a good wash. It had been well over a week since the last time my Holy Trainer had been removed and I cannot risk any odour when I am stood in front of twenty or so people demonstrating something!

When I was back in my bedroom there was a clunk, I looked down and my damn HT had fallen off! My balls have loosened considerably, but this was ridiculous!

I immediately skyped Elle and showed her what had happened. I asked for and got permission to remove my emergency key from the sealed envelope and put the device back on properly. I cannot wait to get my new, next size down ring so that doesn't happen again.

Last night I was back home so, over skype, I showed Elle that I was locked back up in the HTv2 and she watched as I put the keys back in a new envelope, wrote over the seal and taped it all down to make it more secure. This is an example of something that Elle doesn't ask for but she does let me do. This is for me, not for her. I need this control. I said to her that while I love the fact that she trusts me I feel like I need to earn that trust, not just expect it. I also crave that extra level of control as I mentioned in my last post, as a way of reinforcing my submissive feelings. Elle was happy to watch as I sealed up the keys.

Ten days until she gets home. I know that it will go quickly but right now it feels like an eternity.

 

I have 25 hours or so until Elle gets home, after her three week stay back in England. Before I moved to Germany a year ago we lived a long distance marriage on and off for many years of our marriage. I have estimated we have been apart for at least ten years over the two and a half decades we have been together. This period has been the longest we have been apart since she decided it was time for me to quit my job and live with her. I have missed the opportunities to spend time with her, the intimacy we have grown to enjoy through my chastity and recognising the depth of our FLR, Our Arrangement.

Throughout the past year I had often thought that I wished we had started this chastity thing earlier, that being kept chaste during the times we were apart for 3 to 6 months would have been a good thing. I now realise that it probably wouldn't have been as good as I had thought. I would have done it if she wanted me to, I have kept my Holy Trainer on over the past three weeks because that is what she wanted. It hasn't however been with the levels of enjoyment I had anticipated. The simple reason is that when Elle isn't with me I don't get excited by the chastity in the way I do when she is at home. Even when she is doing nothing my arousal is kept on a higher level just by her proximity.

I have become more aware of this as a result of our shared Tumblr, where I show her images, video, gifs, text, that turns me on. Over the period she has been away little of this has had any affect on me. Until the last day or so. The only thing I can conclude is that her imminent return has fired up my arousal, the anticipation of being with her again is enough to excite me. So during those long months of being on my own I would have not had the stimuli to get aroused.

I cannot wait to give her a big hug when she gets home. After the dog has stopped going mental that is.

 

Elle got back to Germany on Sunday after her three week stint in London. She was tired but glad to be back in Germany. We went out for a meal in a wonderful local restaurant with some good friends and had a really good evening. The Germans really know how to live. Please don't believe all the utter rubbish you might be reading in British press about Germany and Europe post Brexit. Things here certainly don't appear to be on the brink of utter collapse!

Anyway, sex and politics don't mix so...

Elle has never been a 'jump on you as soon as I get through the door after a period apart' sort of girl. All through the time we lived in a long distance marriage it would always take her a few days before she felt like being intimate and that has been the pattern this time as well. We were both tired on Monday and I have had a bit of a mild flu like bug, so apart from lots of sitting close to each other, being very cuddly and talking about our current situation, nothing of any sexual nature happened.

Until tonight!

Elle decided it was time to share a shower and our usual process occurred, with me washing Elle and the Elle washing me until I collapsed on the floor! She then decided that I would give her a massage, but no bottom licking as she was a bit sore. So I did as I was told and gave her a thorough and sensual massage. She still particularly enjoyed the attention I gave her buttocks, bottom and inner thighs.

I decided to be a bit naughty and use my initiative, not asking for permission to do what I was doing. I told her to turn on to her back, and I placed pillows under her bottom and each knee. I poured massage oil over her mound and down each side of her vulva, making sure that the oil mostly stayed out of her inner lips. Elle guessed that I was giving her a Yoni massage and let me get on with it.

If you haven't given your partner a yoni massage or if you are lucky enough to be female and you haven't received one, then I cannot recommend it highly enough. It is a wonderful, powerful, sensual, sexual experience. It is done without any thought of any reciprocation, and the female receiving the massage has to be very relaxed and receptive for it to work.

I knelt between her legs and gently massaged the area between her thighs and vulva, then each of her outer labia, watching as the lips engorged and opened, waiting for them to be ready so I could massage her inner labia and then, with my thumb, I gently caressed her clitoris. By now Elle was thoroughly aware of what I was doing and was taking deep breaths to help her keep calm.

Yoni massage is all about the journey, about being relaxed and in control. It is given and received when you are aroused but an orgasm is not the aim. It is however a very happy event if it does occur.

When I had the feeling she was ready I put some lube on my right middle finger and gently inserted it into her vagina in the come hither position, pointing up and hooked back to me. I found the slightly rough region of her g-spot and gently caressed it. Using my left thumb I gently stroked around her clitoris.

It wasn't long before Elle started taking deeper breaths, and then she started arching her back and raising her hips. Her vagina gripped my finger so tightly I couldn't move it any more and her legs started shaking. She bit her lower lip and let out a moan. I then started stroking her clitoris more directly and... she came.

Softly, but oh so wonderfully.

What does every man want to hear after he has had sex with his partner? Well, this one is most happy when he gets told that what he has just done was wonderful, and that is what Elle said to me. I could hardly tell that she had orgasmed, but she had, and it was really strong. She had tried to make it last, but she said she had felt a rush through her body, from her head tomher geoin, and there was no stopping it.

This was the second time (I think, maybe third) that I have given Elle a yoni massage. I absolutely love it, and so does she.

 

From her head to her groin.

I bloody hate this stupid five minute edit rule.

 

Elle and I have just had a wonderful evening together. We shared a shower, with the usual fun and games, and then Elle told me that we were going downstairs and I was going to paint her toes for her. I decided to not get dressed, but to go with her naked, only wearing my Holy Trainer. She knew exactly what I was doing and commented on it, patting me on the bottom and smiling at me as I prepared some snacks for her.

I have wanted to do this for a very long time. I know that it is something that has been fueled by the fantasy side of chastity from both the Mansion and Tumblr, but I have to say it was a great experience. I felt really submissive and a strange, relaxed feeling came over me. I was actually a bit disappointed that Elle didn't boss me around a bit more!

I lay on the floor and happily painted her toes while she sat on her sofa. I had made her a cranberry spritzer with some crispy lettuce leaves with olives and cream cheese which she thoroughly enjoyed. She then told me to put some music on but, as she couldn't decide what to listen to, we built a Spotify playlist and started listening to it playing through our main HiFi downstairs.

Elle doesn't generally have sexy fun times during the working week, but all of this had got her very happy with me, so she took me upstairs to have a cuddle in bed. I honestly wasn't expecting any more so I was really happy when, after letting me kiss her back and caress her sides, she turned over, looked me in the eye, and told me to lick her bottom! I did as I was told, obviously, and was delighted to do so. After a good while she turned over and let me bring her to another orgasm.

What an evening!

 

Has it really been eleven days since my last update? I am not surprised really, it has been a difficult few weeks. I have been having a hell of a time, involving family tragedies, solicitors, flying and driving around the UK and Germany trying to sort out a huge mess that has nothing to do with me but is potentially going to have a lifelong impact. I am driving back to England yet again at the weekend, this is beginning to be a real problem. The one good thing is that the lifestyle Elle and I have taken on is really helping. My chastity is helping me focus on what is more important, our FLR also gives me purpose and control. I am always looking for ways to please Elle and my handling of these issues is a huge help for her. Elle has also realised that our intimacy has to be preserved and nurtured, not allowed to be pushed aside and forgotten as it would have probably been in the past. She has been absolutely brilliant the past week, really caring and loving.

One reason for her increase in paying attention to me is the observation that despite my longest ever period of denial I am not in 'full fizz' mode. We have realised that due to how busy we have been there has been little chance of any serious tease and denial for much of the past few months. Today I reached three months since my last full orgasm. It is also six weeks since my last ruined orgasm, when Elle told me to masturbate myself and watched while I did so. (Damn, that is still one of the most incredible experiences I have had since starting this lifestyle!) I would have expected to have been desperate for an orgasm but in fact it is just a background hum. I am desperate to pleasure Elle though, as always, and since she started teasing me again I am getting those fizzy feelings back.

During our Saturday conversation I had sort of asked Elle how much longer I was going to be made to wait for an orgasm, only to be given 'the look'. She said that I wasn't seriously expecting an answer, was I? I laughed and told her she was a lovely but demanding Mistress. Her reply was that she was going to be demanding a lot more! Gulp!

Last night she took me to bed early for a cuddle. I wasn't allowed to orally pleasure her but, after we had held each other for a while she told me to kiss her back. I was in absolute heaven, kissing her, holding her, rubbing my chest on her bottom which she absolutely loves. She turned over and let me kiss her breasts, abdomen and thighs. No pussy or bottom kissing was permitted, though there might have been a few 'accidental' flicks! By the time she told me it was time for me to go to bed I was well and truly turned on. It was so hard for me to calm down, but I did as I was told.

I told Elle that I wasn't going to beg for an orgasm as I didn't want to annoy her. Then it occurred to me that maybe she liked hearing me beg. I said I wouldn't beg unless she wanted me to. "And you expect me to tell you which it is I want, do you?" she said, giggling at how confused I had become. I have a feeling that perhaps, given the correct circumstances, she does like me to beg. Just occasionally, and not to go on about it. But she does giggle a lot when I get so horny I can barely contain myself.

 

Disaster! We have run out of massage oil!

I think if she is in the mood for some fun, Elle's favourite way to spend an evening is when we have the shower/massage/oral pleasure activity. I have written a lot about this over the past year, and it continues to be a regular way we are intimate. Elle certainly shows no sign of getting bored with us doing it, and as my laptop decided to do an update just as we wanted to watch a DVD we went up to her room very early for some fun.

There was one development last night. Elle is all about keeping this chastity lifestyle simple so rules are kept to a minimum. There is a new rule. When we have a shower I wait for her to invite me into the cubicle. The normal procedure is that she then tells me to wash her back for her. Now she expects me to just get on with it. She told me that I should know better by now! I do have to ask for permission to wash her bottom though, as that is a special treat for me. I remarked about how its funny that me washing her bottom is seen as a treat for me more than it is for her. But, as usual, she is completely right. Yes, she does get pleasure out of the experience, but it is definitely me that gets more excited!

Anyway she had so much fun being dominant that she made me collapse in the shower twice. I was panting with desire and my legs were shaking when she finally told me to let her out. She had to ask as I was holding on to her to help me stay standing up!

We used the last of our massage oil with me giving her back, shoulders, bottom and thighs a good massage. We use one of three varieties from Body Shop in the UK. Luckily I am driving back at the weekend so I will be able to stock up again before I come back. I was then allowed to lick her bottom for a while before she knelt, pushing her bottom up away from the bed giving me absolutely incredible access to her ass and pussy. When she was aroused as much as she could be she turned over and lay on her back. I told her that the way she knelt up was absolutely amazing. "You haven't finished yet!" she exclaimed, grabbing my head and pushing it towards her pussy.

That is something she would never have done before we started using chastity. In fact most of the time it was me instigating any oral pleasure she received. It is totally the other way around now, much to my delight. Something else she would never have done before was the way she told me to not suck her clit so hard too soon. She pushed my head a away from her a little bit before letting me continue. This demonstration of her taking more control than usual was enough to get me really turned on.

In the past Elle would not have said anything and would have put up with what I was doing until she couldn't take it anymore. This would have meant no orgasm for her and would leave me very disappointed. Just as it took her time to get to a point where she did not feel guilt about denying me an orgasm, it also took her time to get to a point where she felt comfortable communicating with me about what she wanted and how she wanted it. I see this as a major improvement in our relationship. I was astounded when I discovered how uncomfortable talking about sex made her when we started all of this. It isn't that long ago that she failed to reach an orgasm because what I was doing just wasn't close to being right, but she didn't say anything until I got told to stop. We eventually worked out that all she had to do was grab my head and put it where she needed more stimulation, but she just didn't feel like she could. Hopefully those days are over.

I was really pleased when, through my efforts, Elle had her 64th orgasm of the year. Yes, I am still counting.

There was no release from my HTv2 for me, and none was discussed. All of this was very much what I needed. As I have mentioned recently real life is giving us a damn good kicking at the moment, and I had been feeling really down for a while. I told Elle that I had been hoping for some fun time for a few days. I was really pleased when she confirmed that my desires had not been so obvious that she had noticed. This was a relief as I am honest in my intention that this is about what she wants, not what I want. I can hope for some fun as long as I put no pressure on her.

 

Last night was really special. Elle was baking for Christmas and making Christmas Puddings takes time. This meant that we had a lot of time to spend with each other. I spent time helping her weigh out all of the ingredients, spent time with her in the Kitchen and talked, catching up after her day at work. We watched a DVD together, me sitting at her feet while she rested them on my thighs.

Elle decided that she wanted me to read to her which I really like doing. I offered to run her a bath which she happily accepted, so we went upstairs. I read her another chapter of The Island, about Spinalonga in Crete. She loves listening to me read, we used to do this together as a family when the children were young. Doing this again is one of the things we can thank chastity for. I saw a picture on Tumblr showing a guy reading to his bathing partner, and Elle admitted that she would love to have me do the same. It is funny how she never thought to do this before, or I never offered to do it, and it is something both of us get a lot of pleasure out of.

Elle was so happy with me that she invited me into her bed for a cuddle when the Christmas puddings had finished steaming. (For those of you interested it takes 3 1/2 hours to steam a Christmas Pudding the first time, then you stand it for a month before Christmas, before it gets steamed again on Christmas Day.) We went through our shared Tumblr, looking at the pictures I had shared and I read out the text posts to her. Earlier in the evening I had mentioned that she hadn't teased me in ages. It wasn't a criticism, just an observation. It is as a result of all the crap real life is hurling at us. All of a sudden, while I was half way through a sentence, Elle started to gently stroke one of my nipples.

My mouth immediately went dry, and for the next hour I floated away. She stroked my body, tweaked my ears, pressed my abdomen on the swelling above my Holy Trainer, kissed me hard, bit my lips, pushed her tongue into my mouth, made me suck her fingers sliding two of them all the way into my mouth.

And then she let me know it was her turn by lying on her front, encouraging me to kiss her back, her sides, She opened her legs and gave me access to her bottom and pussy, so I kissed those as well. Her little squeaks of pleasure turned me on even more. All the time I was kissing I was caressing her entire body with both of my hands, from her feet to her head. She absolutely melted and loved the attention.

And now it is morning, somehow I managed to sleep, and it is time for me to make her a coffee.