Love and denial

A long night but worth it!

 

Elle fell over when we were skiing last week and hurt a rib. It has meant that she hasn't been fully able to express herself sexually but she is still enjoying teasing me. What is different is she is also now happy to receive attention from me knowing that I am not expecting anything in return. In the past she would have just put all thoughts of anything sexual happening to one side and that would have been that.

Last night, once everything had been prepared for Christmas day, she decided that we would go upstairs and spend some time together, not anything sexual as such but definitely intimate. She had asked me what I wanted to do and I was a bit unsure as to what was on offer. At first she thought I was avoiding the question but I explained that while I didn't want to put her under any pressure to do something sexual I wasn't sure if that was available as an option or not. If it was then I would have loved to do something to pleasure her, if not that was also fine and I would love to watch something on TV, or give her an intimate massage without afters, anything where we spent time together. She told me that she wanted to be close but not sexual, and I said how about I read to her. She loved the idea and said that it would be a lovely way to finish a good day.

We had a moderate shower (she couldn't bend over much to give my bottom the good rubbing she enjoys these days) and we talked some more about how I find out whether sex is on offer if she asks me what I want to do. I mentioned how a massage can go either way. I can massage her with no bottom licking or pussy worship afterwards, or I can avoid putting massage oil on her bottom and give her a good orgasm. She decided that she was definitely up for a massage with no licking afterwards, so that is what I did.

A new thing for us is when I do something with no intention of having sex afterwards and Elle gets so turned on she changes her mind. That happened this time. I gave her a really nice massage which she enjoyed so much she decided to tell me to give her a Yoni massage. We both really love the way she has a relaxing yoni orgasm. For her it is a different sort of orgasm and for me I get to watch it all unfold in front of me. I get to see and feel the orgasmic build up. It is truly a wonderful experience.

So Elle had her 71st orgasm of the year. Then I read a chapter of The Island to her before I was given a quick, sleepy cuddle and sent to bed.

Not a bad start to Christmas.

 

I really cannot believe what happened this morning when I woke Elle up. It was truly extraordinary.

I took her up a coffee and some toast at 08:30 as she had told me to, and asked for permission to get into bed for a cuddle with her. It took her a while to fully wake up and at one point she rested a hand on my chest, brushing against my left nipple. She soon noticed my breathing had got faster and I was making small whimpering noises. The feelings were intense from such a light touch. She gripped my nipple and tweaked it, causing my back to arch and my moans to increase.

Elle wrapped her legs around me and pushed herself up against my very erect penis. I have no idea how long this went on for, but after a while she told me I had made her wet. She took my hand and pushed it against her pussy. Then, another first, she kept pushing. She held my wrist and made me push a few fingers inside her pussy. She has never done anything like that before.

Elle wasn't just wet, she was soaking. She is obviously really enjoying my reactions to the things she is doing to me. Elle hasn't gone through the menopause yet but it has started. We have had to use lubricant for a few years now. But, for some unknown reason, my chastity turns her on like nothing we have ever done in the past.

As my fingers slid in her and registered how wet and warm she was my mind just exploded with desire. She rode my fingers for a few minutes getting more and more aroused. She then asked me would I like to lick her pussy. Would I? Like to? Lick? Pussy?

I could hardly respond. It was wonderful. She was so turned on that I was able to bring her close and let her orgasm fade a few times before she got to the now do it now stage. I held a finger inside her and she rode it, thrusting against my tongue. Her orgasm left us both panting, holding each other for several minutes as we floated back down into reality.

We cannot remember either of us ever having an orgasm on Christmas Day. Too much food, drink and excited children get in the way.

On a side note when she went to bed we had another cuddle. She told me that she had thoroughly enjoyed Christmas Day and the way it started was incredible. She had a huge grin on her face as she said it. I told her that I really couldn't remember a time when she got so wet and that in a way this sort of worried me. It means that she is enjoying my chastity fueled reactions more than anything we have ever done in the past.

 

Thanks. It was wonderful. When we went to bed we talked about how both of us had thought about buying naughty santa presents but how real life had got in the way and prevented it happening. It was nice to find another way that we think about all of this in the same way.

 

New experiences keep... coming. It is funny how I think twice before using that word. The experiences keep coming but I don't!

Before Christmas, while we were on a skiing holiday, Elle told me that I wasn't going to have an orgasm that side of Christmas. She doesn't often tell me when or if and I think this was a bit of an experiment on her part. to see how I reacted and how it felt for her. I have no idea what the results of that experiment were but we have gone back to me not having a clue when or if I am going to have an orgasm. It is truly remarkable how Elle has gone from starting this year with two week denial periods and is ending it with a four month and a week denial period. I have had five orgasms this year, four of them before June, all of them before August. I have a funny feeling that I am going to have fewer next year!

This is because Elle is getting more and more turned on by how I am responding to her. I do not understand it but she has just had some kind of Damascus moment with regards to not letting me orgasm. She is trying out more and more things, becoming more open to trying more things and is in turn getting even more turned on by my response.

Last night we had a shower together which went the way they usually do, with her standing above me, me looking up at her after being made to collapse in a heap due to her playing with me. This was followed by her lying on the bed and telling me to apply the body lotion that I had bought her for Christmas. She lay on her back first and then on her front as I applied the lotion, both of us enjoying the contact. I made sure that it stayed sensual rather than sexual, knowing that she would tell me if she wanted more and not wanting to make it about me.

I have been unlocked for a week while my penis recovered from a horrible red area that basically left a hole in the skin, caused by a wet area inside my Holy Trainer, basically a really nasty nappy rash. Elle has been keeping a close eye on it, not wanting to lock me up until I had healed fully. She checked my penis and rubbed the area of the mark that has been left. Obviously this solicited a response from me which she enjoyed. This led to a mind blowing experience for me.

Elle started to manipulate my penis with her foot, squashing it against the wooden base of her bed, mashing it between her feet, squashing my testicles. I started moaning and before long I was thrusting, getting closer and closer to having an orgasm. I was humping her feet. I have seen videos of this on Tumblr but it was never my fantasy. Well, it is now! This was intense. The look on her face was showing obvious pleasure and yet again my response really turned her on. I managed to stop myself, but only just. When she had given me the instruction not to have an orgasm before Christmas that set a boundary that was easy for me to keep. When I was humping her on the sofa while we were on Holiday it was easy to stop. Well, easier! This time I wasn't sure what to do, and only just managed to stop myself.

Elle has never seen a video of someone doing what we were doing. I have no idea where she is getting these ideas from. But I love them.

 

I have decided that I am going to start a new journal tomorrow on January 1, 2017. It makes sense to me for a few reasons.

We started all this chastity stuff in October 2015 but it wasn't until November 2015 when I got my Holy Trainer that things got started for real. It wasn't until I started this journal in June 2016 that Elle had started really understanding what she could get out of it and started having fun with it. As we approach the end of the year she is a very different Mistress to the one who started the year and I can honestly say that she is comfortable with her part of this arrangement, our arrangement.

That means that today is the end of our first full year using chastity. We are still very much learning and developing this use but we are both much more comfortable with where we are. Neither of us know how far this will go but both of us are happy to continue. Neither of us want to go back to how things were pre-chastity and it is my opinion that it would be impossible to do so without breaking the fundamental basis for our love.

It has been an incredible year. I cannot believe how far we have come in such a short time.

Unless something happens today I have had five full orgasms in 2016. This is by far the fewest I have ever had since discovering how much fun they are about 35 years ago. I have had two sanctioned ruined orgasms and the other five emissions were nocturnal wet dreams. Four of the five orgasms were in the first six months of the year and the last was over four months ago, back in August. If nothing else demonstrates the journey of how Elle has developed and become comfortable being my Mistress then this would be enough. I am happy with this length of denial and so is Elle so my guess is that I will be having fewer orgasms in 2017 but that is very much up to Elle.

Elle has had 72 orgasms which I believe is by far the most she has ever had in our 26 year marriage and nearly 30 year relationship. Elle isn't multi-orgasmic and has no desire to be. We have tried to follow advice on how to get her to have multiple orgasms in a session and it just isn't something we have ever managed to do. She has good, strong orgasms and she is happy with that.

Elle could have had many more orgasms this year but real life has not been easy to us in 2016. We have had at least a quarter of the year where any chance of sex was impossible due to illness or travel. In fact 2016 has been a really incredibly shitty year on several levels. 2017 isn't going to be much easier for at least the first half of the year. The simple fact is that both of us believe that the chastity arrangement has actually helped us become stronger and has definitely helped us through the shitty times.

The biggest thing I have learned this year is that the holistic approach to our relationship has taken it to an entirely new level. This means we look at our relationship from as many different angles as we possibly can and make sure all of them are being catered for. By taking care of each others daily needs we are closer. By spending time being intimate, sensual but not sexual we are closer. By having regular sexual contact we are closer. By trying new things, having many new experiences we are closer. By talking about our journey but not constantly, using Elle's Saturday rule, we are closer.

To me the strangest part of this journey is demonstrated by our cuddles. Before chastity Elle would avoid cuddles because she thought that I would get turned on and want sex, and as all she wanted a cuddle she would have to avoid it to avoid the sex. Along comes chastity and I say to Elle that the entire point of this is you say if, when, where and how we have sex and there is zero pressure from me. It takes her a while but repeatedly showing her that I expect no reciprocation and in fact mostly don't even want any she learns to trust me. Now Elle has as many cuddles as she wants and recently most days start and end with a cuddle.

What is weird or strange about that? Elle now gets incredibly turned on by my reaction to her touch and actively enjoys getting me aroused and then stopping the fun. So before she would avoid a cuddle because I might get turned on and now she would get upset if I didn't get turned on! I have been my own worst enemy as recently the level of my response has reached new heights. Elle has seen first hand the difference between the me denied for a few weeks, a month, a few months and now four months. The conversations we have had tell me that a period of a minimum of four months is in my future. It is my prediction for 2017.

I am really looking forward to seeing where Our Arrangement takes us in 2017.