Love and denial

Discussion in 'Journals and blogs' started by Jasmic68, Jun 12, 2016.

Random Thread
  1. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    I have decided that my Complicated Start storyline (http://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/complicated-start.16347) needs to be retired. It documents the first seven months of my membership of the Mansion and is 23 pages long. The main reason for starting a new story line though is that I feel I have reached a natural point in the development of my relationship with my Wife in how she is using chastity and denial to control and mould me into a better, more loving and caring husband.

    When I started writing my journal on November 16 2015 I was very new to the world of male chastity. I had only just got my Holy Trainer and was still unsure as to how it was going to fit. I had no idea of the ride that was going to be ahead of me. I had several episodes of doubt, fear, wonder, panic and what I came to describe as brain farts. I knew that I loved this new 'game' but did not know if my Wife would want to continue as my Keyholder or whether she would ever fully get what we were doing.

    She totally gets what we are doing.

    Several key things have happened over the past few weeks to absolutely convince me of that. I am still on a crazy roller coaster ride of emotions and still do not know what this will be like in the months and years ahead of us. I am however calmer and more willing to just let the ride take me where it wants to go. I am loving the ride, I don't want to get off but where before I could not see what was going on around me now my vision is clear.

    I want to thank everyone who has interacted with me on my journal and the other posts in the Mansion. I can honestly say that the Mansion has played a large and important role in getting me through the past seven months. You have listened and sometimes commented. You have given me somewhere safe and warm to sit and relax. You have made me think, made me reflect and helped me understand. Some of you have made me incredibly horny and others made me laugh. I have got annoyed a few times and had to apologise a few times. I have always been honest though and will try to continue to be that way.

    I still do not think that I am some kind of Ultra Chastity Super Hero, holder of the key to all chastity knowledge (but not the key to my device!) I offer up my thoughts and experiences to other members without thinking that I am always right. I still have a lot to learn and experience.

    Let's see what happens shall we?

    Mwa!!!
     
  2. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    A quick introduction into why I wear a chastity device.

    In August 2015 I upset my Wife by carrying out a genital modification. I had asked for and received permission from her to do this but she was unaware of how much it would upset her. I do not in any way hold that reaction against her, what I did was pretty extreme. I still have a functioning penis but I am almost certain that my penis does not look like your penis or that of your partner!

    I needed something to rescue my marriage. For three days I was on my own in England, my Wife in Germany, utterly convinced she was going to demand a divorce knowing I had no right to refuse. The wonderful woman decided that she wasn't going to leave me but admitted that it was going to take her a long time to get used to what I had done. The very idea of touching my penis made her upset, so I needed something to help her.

    I had seen chastity devices on Tumblr and had been intrigued by them. I had a bit of an epiphany when I realised I could wear one and give my Wife the key. This would achieve two key things. One would be to lock my penis away so I could not be tempted to continue the modification process, which I very much was wanting to do. The second would be to hide what I had already done, obscure it so she did not have to look at it every time I was naked.

    I asked my Wife whether she thought we could try this and she said yes. I put on my first device in October but it took three more and until the middle of November before I put on my Holy Trainer and knew that this was something I both wanted and that could actually happen. If the HTv2 had not fit my Wife would have pulled the plug on my attempts and that would have meant we would have missed out on so much.

    I had no idea what else would develop. I did not know what I would feel like when my Wife told me no, I was not allowed to cum. I did not know how incredibly horny I would feel during the weeks of denial she put me through. I had no idea how much this would effect both of us.

    My Wife is my Keyholder and Mistress. She is still learning and developing but has already demonstrated that she is a loving and caring Mistress but one who demands obedience. She is strict but fun. Her rules are simple to follow and the most important one is that this has to be fun if I want her to continue. I am very pleased to report that she is having a great time and a lot of fun.
     
    AlanThom, Mark Owen and joe01 like this.
  3. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    Last night I worshipped my Wife's body to her 39th orgasm of the year. This was after three weeks of denial for her as she had been in hospital for a relatively minor operation and was recuperating. This is amazing as in the years running up to starting chastity we have worked out she would have probably had about fifteen orgasms tops, and more likely fewer. Without those three weeks of joint denial she would have been closer to at least 45 orgasms as two or so a week is now her minimum. Potentially she could have been close to 50.

    This is one of the major reasons I want to continue and develop our use of my chastity. We were sexually active before but I can honestly say neither of us were completely satisfied. I wanted more and so did my Wife, but my abilities and demands did not make this easy for her. Chastity has allowed her to relax and become much more confident with her ability and her own desires.

    By not having an orgasm whenever I want one my desires are totally provided by my Wife. Porn is a shared experience and chastity based. We have a secret Tumblr where I show her what turns me on and this has helped her use those desires against me. Not in a bad, negative way but in a way that turns me on and makes me desire her even more.

    Yesterday morning we were out walking our dog. I asked her if she felt if she had changed in the past seven months. She does, she said she was much more confident in trying out new things and what turns her on has expanded a lot.

    I asked her if she thought I had changed. She said that she now felt that my focus and desire was completely turned towards her. I had unintentionally been selfish before chastity and now she felt loved, sexy, desired and in control. I felt both shame and elation. Shame because I had never realised she felt I was selfish, shame that I had put her through years of that. Elation that I had both managed to change but even more so because she had recognised it in me. Elation that she made me understand that Chastity was now our thing and that she did not want to stop.

    I love that woman with every atom of my being.
     
  4. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    This morning my Wife let me make love to her. She knew that she wasn't going to have an orgasm (just one of those things you can tell sometimes) but she let me turn her on as much as I could and then she told me I was allowed to cum. She thoroughly enjoyed herself despite not having an orgasm of her own.

    I tried so hard not to cum first but my lizard brain is much more in control than my modern human brain. I wish that I could control myself better.

    I am going to leave this update short as I am falling asleep trying to type this. I will have more time tomorrow for this after I get home from work. Working again. What's that all about!?
     
    Mark Owen likes this.
  5. allaboutHer
    Offline

    allaboutHer Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 19, 2012
    Messages:
    441
    Likes Received:
    532
    Trophy Points:
    93
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    4:33 PM
    Hello jasmic.
    I am looking forward to the next chapter of your shared journey. Keep sharing!

    :)

    allaboutHer
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  6. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    It keeps developing @allaboutHer - My Wife continues to do things that I am not expecting.

    She spanked me the for the first time tonight. And she meant it too. It started off playfully but then she got into it and really started swatting my backside. I had asked her how long I was going to be locked up as I was putting my device back on then, when she told me that she knew and I didn't need t, I got so turned on I couldn't get my penis under the ring.

    My Wife ordered me to lie on the bed with my bottom pointed up and she spanked me, hard, half a dozen swats per cheek. It's about an hour later now and it's still feeling warm down there.

    I was left unlocked from my Holy Trainer for the past three days to give my penis a rest. Or at least for the first two, today I was supposed to be locked up but I am working this week and left home so early we didn't have a chance to lock me up again. I did eventually get my device back on but then she started swatting me every time I got one of my German speaking exercises wrong.

    I haven't told her about the paddle I ordered from Lovehoney yet.
     
    AlanThom and Mark Owen like this.
  7. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    My Wife. Oh, God, my Wife!!!

    I knew that it felt right to start a new journal as it seemed a new chapter had begun in her level of control. I didn't expect things to develop as much as they have.

    This evening we went upstairs and shared a shower. Things were going as they normally do, with me cleaning her back, bottom and thighs, kissing her neck and getting very turned on. Then it was my turn and she started cleaning my back. Then my bottom. She got me to the point of where I am about to collapse but I am just about hanging onto the shower cubicle. She kept going, kept rubbing my bottom, sliding her finger into me. Until I couldn't take it any more and knelt on the floor of the shower cubicle.

    Before now she would have just hosed me down with the shower head and let me get back up. For some reason though this time she suddenly put her foot on the small of my back and pushed me down, lower onto the floor. My submissive feelings suddenly became prevalent, even stronger than my feelings of desire that resulted from her rubbing my bottom. She rubbed her foot up and down my back, pushing me lower and lower, my brain now struggling to stay focused but desperate to drink in the sensation and feelings.

    Then she shifted her foot and started poking my bottom with her toes. I was on the floor of the shower, my bottom raised, my head down, panting and groaning from all of the stimulation and desperate for more.

    Once we were dry and on her bed she actually told me to kiss her back and then I started on her bottom. I was thoroughly enjoying myself when she told me to go and get one of our new toys, an anal probe we bought from Lovehoney. I have slid a finger into my Wife's bottom a few times but not for a good few years so the sight of this beaded probe sliding into her was nearly more than I could take.

    And then she told me that was enough for tonight, time to stop! How? How on earth can she do that? I know for a fact if it was me being probed the last thing I would be able to do was say stop.

    I begged her to let me lick her pussy and was told I would have to wait until the weekend. And then she went downstairs for a drink, a big smile playing across her face as I tried to compose myself.

    When we came to bed we had a cuddle and I told her that I would never be able to do what she does and say stop. She said well, isn't that what this is all about, denying you. I agreed, but not at the expense of denying her! I wasn't the one having the orgasm, she was, so surely saying stop was denying her more than me. The thing is she knows me well enough to know how desperate I was for her to have that orgasm, so in fact she really was denying me.

    She played with my nipples, giggling with how much I wriggled and moaned, then told me to go to bed. I asked for a kiss. She exploded my brain, opening her mouth, pushing her breasts against my chest, biting my bottom lip and breathing into my open mouth. I am still feeling wobbly!

    I asked, just as I left, what would she say now if I said I didn't want to do this anymore. I have asked a few times and before she has said that she would be disappointed and want to know why. Not this time. This time she said something quite different.

    Tough. Be careful what you wish for. You started this.
     
  8. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    My Wife teased me with a wooden spoon this evening. Not by doing anything to me. Simply by licking it. We were in the kitchen making chocolate brownies and she started licking the spoon clean of cake mixture. She saw the look on my face and immediately started licking the spoon really sensuously. It had a very obvious effect on me!

    In fact she teased me so much I started begging to be allowed to lick her pussy. And I honestly wanted to. Later, on her bed, lying naked in her back, her legs open, she continued to arouse me. She was really enjoying herself and had said no to me several times whe. She asked me if she should wash herself and put me out of my misery, let me lick her.

    I surprised myself by refusing the offer. I knew that it wasn't really what she wanted, that she was only doing it for me. I told her that I would rather she teased me about it than actually let me do it. She smiled and hugged me, before telling me that tomorrow I am allowed to take her upstairs, pull off her trousers and knickers and have my wish, and be allowed to lick her pussy and ass.

    She told me something that made sense. During the week she doesn't get turned on very much because she has work the next day. This makes no sense to me at all but she is in charge. She said that she can never relax as she is always thinking about what she has to do the next day, even if all she is thinking is she has to get up early. At the weekend she can relax and then really enjoy what I am doing.

    So tomorrow I get to lick her and, better still, she has offered to read @keephimcaged s new story to me while I do it.
     
  9. joe01
    Offline

    joe01 Active member

    Joined:
    Feb 7, 2016
    Messages:
    128
    Likes Received:
    154
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    3:33 PM
    Isn't chastity just so delicious? I hope to be in a similar predicament someday.
     
    Happy wifes matter likes this.
  10. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    It is @joe01 - I am very definitely one of the lucky ones. It took my Wife several months to get to where she is now, but hardly a day goes by where she does not tease me in some way or another. To get to this point I had to be lucky enough to be married to someone willing to try this out and even luckier that she has started to really take control of what we do, and enjoy the power she has. She is having so much fun and because of that so am I.

    When I started this I never realised how much of a turn on being denied could be, but now I am uninterested in any normal porn, all I want is my Wife. Chastity fiction turns me on and the occasional captioned image or blog post. My Wife, after 26 years of marriage, makes me weak at the knees with a look, a touch or the simplest of teases.
     
    Happy wifes matter and joe01 like this.
  11. starflyer
    Offline

    starflyer Junior Member

    Joined:
    Mar 12, 2010
    Messages:
    2,522
    Likes Received:
    2,752
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    8:33 PM
    I'm intrigued to know what the genital modification was and why it caused your wife so much trouble, you say it doesn't look like a normal penis
    what did you have done? Did you do it yourself? Any chance of posting a picture so that we could comment on it ?
    Best Regards
    Starflyer
     
  12. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    I don't want to post a picture as there is a very small chance that my Wife might decide to join the Mansion and I don't want to upset her. There is video of me on Tumblr though that shows what I did.

    I sliced my glans in half. It started as something called a meatotomy but I wanted to do more and ended up doing something called a headsplit. I still have urges to complete the split but one of the things wearing a chastity device does is remove the temptation.

    I will send you a link of the video, some find it disturbing to say the least. My Wife amongst them.
     
  13. Mark Owen
    Offline

    Mark Owen Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 13, 2015
    Messages:
    95
    Likes Received:
    122
    Trophy Points:
    43
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Student
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Sicily
    Local Time:
    9:33 PM
    I'm curious to know too... can I see it too?? :p
     
  14. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    I am getting to the stage where I cannot write everything that is happening to me for fear of sounding like one of the more exuberant fantasists the Mansion attracts occasionally. How is this for just one the things that has happened to me today. I have just done three of my duolingo German exercises while my Wife stood on my penis and ground her foot slowly and deliberately into it, grinning at the way I got hard and unable to concentrate, telling me I was naughty each time I got one wrong!
     
  15. Mistress B
    Offline

    Mistress B Mistress B

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2012
    Messages:
    2,451
    Likes Received:
    3,504
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Business Owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    8:33 PM
    please don't @Jasmic68

    lol. perhaps it was because of the state of your penis. :) I'm joking, so please don't get upset. It was just so amusing.
     
    Jasmic68 likes this.
  16. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    @Mistress B I have no intention of posting an image of my mod, in the gallery or otherwise. This forum is not the place for it. Yesterday was the first time it was exposed to my Wife since last August when I stared doing it. It doesn't upset my Wife anymore, we spoke about it after some playtime, but she still does not like it. She doubts she ever will. In her words we just have to accept it and move on.

    I am very much able to take a joke at my expense so there is no worry at all about me getting upset Mistress. If anything I completely agree with you. If anything I deserve both, being made fun of and having my penis abused. The fact that my Wife is against using the split as a means of humiliation against me, even though it upset her and she hates it, is a mark of her strength of character. She will not even humiliate me about the size of my penis, even just in role play, even though I have told her it would turn me on. My Wife no longer thinks that orgasm control is cruel, she used to, but she does think that telling me that she wishes my penis was bigger is a line she cannot cross.
     
  17. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    I need to write about yesterday, or at least some of it.

    A few weeks back I ordered a Lovehoney wand massager. It was recommended by someone I am beginning to see as a mentor, a chastity guru, @keephimcaged . I think she too is on a journey with her husband, of discovery and exploration into this wonderful and fun way of refocusing and engaging as a couple, she is much more experienced in being kinky and I think that is helping her develop as a Mistress. I know that my Wife appreciates her advice albeit indirect at the moment, through her Tumblr. I ordered the massager a few days before my Wife told me I had to, which at the time I thought was quite funny.

    At the same time I ordered some simple, beginner nipple clamps as she loves tweaking my nipples now, so I was keen for her to try some on me. Like much of this she doesn't want it done to her though. I also ordered an under the bed restraint system and a paddle for her to spank me with as this is something I have recently discovered I enjoy receiving and she enjoys dishing out.

    Then I ordered a more advanced box of toys including butt plugs, a strap on and a prostate massager. Something went wrong though and the first box never turned up. Luckily Lovehoney are awesome and they re-sent the original box. I picked it up yesterday from our post office. I sat down with a cup of green tea and opened it with my Wife, looking at each item, talking about how we felt. Nothing in the box upset my Wife. In fact each item made her eyes light up, a promising start.

    Unfortunately yesterday morning my Wife woke up with a recurrence of a back problem she has, so there was no chance of being able to throw her around the bed like she had told me I could the night before, to bring her to her 40th orgasm of the year. We did however go to her room where we shared an incredible, intimate, sexy shower. I then did something I am happy and content to do, I applied a face mask on her while she lay on her bed.

    While she lay there we decided to try out the wand massager. On its lowest setting and pressing only lightly we explored where she felt the massager had an effect, played with the amount of pressure I applied. We talked constantly and I watched her pussy engorge, change shape and become aroused. We are not sure if it was because of her back issue but it did not get her to an orgasm. It was however a really nice feeling and she is keen to use it again.

    This is remarkable. Neither of us expected anything from the massager as she has never had an orgasm from a vibrator despite trying many different types. This was quiet, much more gentle and obviously not inserted. We have the g-spot attachment for another day but for now the wand is a new favorite. We do have to buy more lubricant though as it is going to use more than we have had to use previously. She likes being massaged all around her vulva and a fair amount of lubricant is needed.

    I was disappointed that I did not get her to orgasm but very happy with the experience. During our shower my Wife had insisted on releasing me from my HT as I was smelling, so when she offered to use the wand on me I was keen to try. I lay on my back and she knelt between my legs.

    I cannot really write about the next ten minutes, if that is how long it took. I did not orgasm but it was one of the most intense experiences of my life. She put the nipple clamps on me which shocked me by how intense they felt. Then the massager was used on my bottom, on my balls and on my penis. She has never applied pressure to my testicles before and it felt incredible. We also discussed how she can put her hands around them and pull my scrotum tight, placing the massager on my testicles. Again she had never done anything like that to me.

    Afterwards we discussed how we felt and about the experience in general. My Wife had never seen me like that before, my legs pulled up to my chest, looking into each other's eyes as I ground my bottom into the wand with a desire for more. I was delighted to learn that nothing she had seen upset her or disturbed her. I was concerned about this while she did it so I was unable to completely relax, next time I will not worry so much.

    That was enough for her but she did try the paddle on me. I do not pretend to understand this but it totally turned me on. One side was softer than the other but both made me very hard and I was disappointed when she stopped. It made my bottom warm and tingly. I don't know how I would respond to a real punishment spanking but I am happy she likes the paddle.

    So neither of us had an orgasm but it was a really amazing experience. We treated it as an experimental session and both got a lot out of it.

    The one thing I wish is that I had got her to read the new story by @keephimcaged like my Wife had promised to. My Wife read the beginning and decided that we should have done it first as it felt false reading it after all the playing we had done. It does mean that at some point today I might get some more playtime as my Wife read the first half to herself and still wants to read it to me.

    The story doesn't turn my Wife on at all which does disappoint me but she does understand that it turns me on and likes the idea of this.

    This is a shortened version of everything that happened over several hours yesterday afternoon and evening. I am learning a lot about what turns me on, a lot about myself. A lot of time I notice that my Wife is grinning like the Cheshire Cat so I am obviously going to learn more. I am well aware of how lucky I am.

    I told my Wife about how uncomfortable I was with her being able to see my modified glans as this meant she too could see it, and how this reduced how relaxed I could get. She is going to try using the wand again while I have my HT 2 on and see if that helps.
     
    keephimcaged likes this.
  18. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    Saturday is the day I am allowed to talk to my Wife about sex and chastity. Given all of the things that have happened over the past week I had plenty to talk about today. I did say to my Wife that if I started to overwhelm her let me know and I will shut up. Two of the topics we spoke about I have quoted from earlier posts.

    The first point, about how she feels more desired and sexy, we talked about whilst out having breakfast. She made quite a profound point. Before chastity she felt like my need for her centred around the sex we had and my focus was generally on getting her to want to have sex with me. She felt that like many men my main priority was to have sex. Yes, sex was with her, I wasn't playing away, it was fun and it was good. But whatever I did it involved a desire for sex.

    Now she feels like I do things for her with no need for her to 'give' me sex as a reward or in fact any expectation from me for it to happen that way. For instance when I recently painted her toenails for her, or last night when I gave her a facemask. She feels that my focus is now centred on a more broader definition of making her happy. She said that women generally want a more holistic approach to love and relationships and me wearing a chastity device has helped me be more like this, more holistic in my approach to her as my Wife and friend.

    This leads on to my second point. I recently asked her what would she say if I said I didn't want to do this any more. I have asked her this twice before. The first time, a few weeks into me wearing the HTv2 she said that she would let me stop. The second time, a few months in, she said she would let me stop but would be disappointed. Now, several months in she confirmed what she said earlier in the week. She wasn't play acting when she said it, she really meant it. I got the answer I hoped for. She would say no. I am not allowed to stop.

    So why would I actually want her to say that? It means that she really has taken control. That it is no longer my decision whether we do this or not, also that the risk of her getting bored is almost certainly no longer anything I need to worry about. Also my Wife is very much the sort of person that if she does something she does it properly and she is never, ever a quitter! I have also discovered that my submissive nature is stronger than I expected and my need to submit to her needs more than a gesture. By saying no to me she has made that transition from doing this because I thought it would help us as a couple to doing it because it makes her feel good.
     
    joe01 and Mark Owen like this.
  19. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    We also talked about our experimentation session yesterday. She said she thoroughly enjoyed using the massager and it is not going to be sent back. She has never had a positive experience with any other vibrator so that is brilliant. We also talked about the difference in approach to using the massager on each other. She wanted it soft and gentle where, after I got going, I was grinding myself into it and wishing she could actually push the head into me, even though I knew it was too big. I told her that while this was happening I was having a sort of an epiphany and I suddenly understood why having a penis inserted into your bottom is so desirable. I have never described myself as having any homosexual tendencies but I would totally allow someone I got to know the chance to try it. My Wife thought this was interesting not that I think she would act on it given her ideas about sex outside of our marriage.

    My Wife thoroughly enjoyed my reaction when she applied the nipple clamps to me and I have to say that it was an eye opening experience. They were the cheapest thing I bought from Lovehoney but they had an incredible effect on me. She also enjoyed using the paddle on me so I can expect to get more spanking in the future. We talked about the difference between punishment spanking and fun spanking and I admitted that they both turn me on. Punishment spanking fuels my submissiveness more though.

    There was lots more that we talked about and for one of the first times ever she actually started some conversations of her own.

    One final thing. I mentioned that when we started all of this she said that it would have to be fun (which it is, she responded) and that she would not be doing it all of the time. She agreed with her earlier statements and said they still were true. I said that the thing is, in my estimation, we really are doing it all of the time. I am always locked up or, if last night I am not locked up, it is because she has decided to let my penis have a rest.

    My Wife thought about this for a moment and then looked at me, and said that she agreed, thinking about it that way means that yes, we are always doing this. She thought I meant doing the intimate sexy things all the time but I don't see chastity in those terms. It doesn't matter what I am doing but I am thinking about her and what I can do to make her happy.
     
    joe01 and Mark Owen like this.
  20. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    My Wife said something to me yesterday that highlights how the little things matter and how not making chastity paradoxically all about sex is so important. A while back I suggested that I paint my Wife's toes with some nail varnish and was shocked to find that she had never done this before. Not even as a young girl. We went and bought some deep red varnish for just a few euro from a local store and when we were home I sat and applied the varnish.

    Such a simple act. Well, not too simple, I had never done it before, but it certainly had an impact. It was amazing how the varnish changed the way her feet look.

    One of the reasons I had suggested we do this was because she was unable to have sex after her minor op and I wanted her to still feel loved and cared for. I totally got the idea to do this from chastity captioned images by the way. It is one of the reasons she feels I am more focused on her and less worried about sex.

    Anyway, the thing that she said to me was that she looks at her toes, thinks of me, and smiles.

    That made me melt inside. I will definitely be painting her toes again.
     
    ddh067 likes this.
  21. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    Yesterday evening was amazing. My Wife's back got better through the day so she felt it would be ok for me to try and give her an orgasm, something that just would not have happened the day before because of how much discomfort she had been in.

    We did our German language exercises first and then I gave her a massage. Usually she lies on her front and I massage her back, ending up licking her bottom once all the oil has been worked into her skin. This time she lay on her back and I thoroughly enjoyed the chance to caress her breasts. I was careful to massage her from neck to toe though, there is more to my Wife than just her breasts!

    To give me access to her bottom she put a pillow under her buttocks and I got to work. Licking, flicking, pressing and basically doing anything with my tongue, lips and nose that made her groan. What was nice about doing it this was I could rest my nose inside her pussy stimulating her with the touch and me with the wetness and smell.

    When she was aroused enough to go for the next stage I reached for our new Lovehoney Wand Massager and tried to apply it to her pussy. Unfortunately with our relative positions and her sore back this just could not be achieved. Did I say that was unfortunate? Only in the sense that I could not do it for her. She took the wand massager from me and, for the first time in our 28 year relationship, pressed a vibrator to her pussy with me watching. I wasn't just watching, I had tilted my head to one side (so she wasn't vibrating my nose at the same time!) and I could see her pussy lips vibrating around the head of the massager.

    And then it happened. Another first. My Wife had an orgasm with her holding, pressing, rotating the massager and me licking her bottom.

    [​IMG]

    My Wife has never enjoyed using 'normal' phallic vibrators. They have always been a bit too brutal, to noisy, to uncomfortable and purely designed for insertion into the vagina. Even her latest, with the rabbit ears, was too intense to go anywhere near her clit.

    The massager is quiet, has a wheel that adjusts the intensity of the vibrations, and a large, flat head that spreads the vibrations out over a larger surface area. The difference for my Wife is immense. Her orgasm was intense for both of us, her thighs squeezing my head into her bottom as her whole body shook with the ripples of pure bliss.

    The massager is definitely not going back to Lovehoney!

    A while later we talked about the experience. One interesting perspective from my Wife was that while the orgasm was defintiley an orgasm and quite intense, she described it as 'small'. It was there, it was intense, and then it was gone. A different experience to when I lick her to orgasm and her come down is long and slow.

    I thought that maybe this could mean next time we try to give her more than one orgasm in a session. Normally she is very much a one orgasm woman. We have tried to do more a few times with not even a hint that it could be possible. She agreed that we could try.

    What is incredible about all of this is we have been together for nearly three decades and we are learning so much about ourselves at the moment. The first six months of me wearing a chastity device was all about getting used to the idea that denying me an orgasm was good for both of us. Now my Wife is used to that idea she is really beginning to explore her own sexuality and how that interacts with me.

    When she told me it was time to go to bed I told her something. I said that using the wand, while amazing and something I definitely want to do again, in fact I would love to watch her give herself an orgasm without my help, it left me feeling more 'denied' than simply being allowed to lick her to an orgasm. I cannot explain why, it just left me feeling more horny than usual.

    Her response?

    Good.
     
  22. Mistress B
    Offline

    Mistress B Mistress B

    Joined:
    Feb 29, 2012
    Messages:
    2,451
    Likes Received:
    3,504
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Female
    Occupation:
    Business Owner
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    United Kingdom
    Local Time:
    8:33 PM
    @Jasmic68 My dear, you are one of those rare creatures that does, actually, truly care about the pleasure of your wife far exceeding your own pleasure. It is so gratifying to see in such a short time. You can be proud of your achievements and I'm sure that your wife appreciates the changes that she sees in you.
     
    joe01 and Jasmic68 like this.
  23. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    @Mistress B your words mean so much to me, I am really touched that you have seen how important my Wife's pleasure is to me just through my writing. My Wife is positively glowing with a growing confidence in herself that makes me wish that we had found this simple thing many years ago.

    What I want to shout from the rafters is guys, come on, if you make your partner feel truly loved, truly cared for, the return you get is exponential. Make her feel that she is so important to you that her pleasure trumps your own every single time and she will be everything to you. You just have to mean it. I have made promises to my Wife and she knows how seriously I take them. I will not masturbate unless she tells me to. I will only cum if she lets me. My Wife trusts me implicitly and I would never do anything to break that trust.

    My Wife shows me in so many small ways that she loves me, every day. A pat on my bottom, a caress of my neck, a smile. Then there are the ways she has fun with me, an 'accidental' brush of my arm with her breasts while we are shopping, a sultry kiss and a giggle as she walks out of the door to go to work. This is before our intimate times in the bedroom which have become unbelievably incredible.

    Before I wore a device we had an ok sex life. Nothing amazing but not dreadful either. We loved each other and enjoyed each other. Now our intimacy is on an ever growing trajectory.

    I can never go back to not wearing a chastity device. The best thing that happened this weekend was when my Wife said that she would now say no if I said I didn't want to do this any more. She would say that she was in charge and I have to put my device on. It was better than either of the orgasms I helped her have, better than the showers we shared and better than when she used the wand massager on me. It means we are doing this for her, not for me.

    I am so lucky.
     
    joe01 likes this.
  24. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    There is a sort of feedback loop happening in my ever growing and developing relationship with my Wife.

    She does something new. A nibble of my bottom lip when we kiss. I respond, showing pleasure at what she is doing. My response makes her more confident with what she is doing. She enjoys my response. She tries something new.

    She makes me collapse in the shower through stimulating my erogenous zones until I cannot stand any more. (This isn't the new bit. She loves doing this to me and has been a major factor in her growing confidence.) I am kneeling in front of her, trying to stand up, looking up at the water running off her delicious breasts, she slides two fingers into my mouth and makes me suck on them, opening my mouth, spreading my lips.

    My response is another collapse, I slide down her legs, in rapture. The feelings of submissiveness explode within me and I am... I don't have words for what or where I am. A new place.

    My Wife and I have discussed how I feel submissive to her, how I love it when she truly takes control. She has witnessed me responding very positively to her doing overtly dominant actions such as the fingers in my mouth. She has accepted this part of me with relish but refuses to abuse it. One of her current limits is she will not pander to my wish that she would make fun of my penis size.

    She enjoys my response to her affection and has really begun to believe she is sexy, not just think that I find her sexy. Because she feels sexy she is doing more sexy things. Because she is doing more sexy things she is more sexy. Because I am finding her more sexy I am responding to her affection positively. Because I am responding positively it is affecting her, turning her on and making her feel more sexy. Because she feels more sexy she is doing more sexy things.

    A chastity driven sexually charged feedback loop.
     
    Mark Owen and KatyTwilight like this.
  25. Jasmic68
    Offline

    Jasmic68 Long term member

    Joined:
    Nov 15, 2015
    Messages:
    3,888
    Likes Received:
    4,535
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Early retirement
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK Midlands
    Local Time:
    2:18 AM
    Last night, when we went to bed, I asked my Wife if she wanted any attention other than the sensual shower we shared that I partially described in the previous post. She said no, that her back was a bit sore and she felt we had done enough.

    I asked, politely, if I could be at least allowed to lick her pussy, that I would be very gentle and if she told me to stop then I would. I reminded her that the next week we are going to be very busy and, as it was Fathers Day, she agreed to let me, as a special treat. I am so glad she did.

    Just as I promised I was super gentle. We got her comfortable and I positioned myself with my head between her legs, my arms wrapped around her legs and up onto her torso, one hand lightly stroking her breast, the other pressed lightly on her abdomen just above her pussy. I took my time, trying out a few new things that she really enjoyed, getting her to the point where I know that it is time to not mess about anymore and concentrate on the goal.

    I am so glad she let me have the chance to do this. She responded magnificently, and the slow build up led to a really strong orgasm for her. Her sore back might have meant she was unable to get anywhere but my improving technique got past this issue. It took her several minutes to come back down, her legs wrapped around my neck, her feet resting on the small of my back, her hands stroking my head.

    This position is one in which I feel an incredible amount of love, of denial, of submissiveness, of honour and privilege. In the past I would have laid there wondering if she would do anything reciprocal. Not any more, those days are long behind me and I am so happy.
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice