It has just occurred to me that Elle is approaching the transition of our relationship to an acknowledged FLR in exactly the same way she approached the introduction of our use of male chastity. In essence this means so slowly you hardly notice it happening, but then you suddenly realize huge changes have occurred. A slightly long but relatively quick recap of how we got to where we are now. Chastity wasn't our fantasy or kink. We were almost completely vanilla before we started using chastity. We had occasionally tried to do kinky things and had sort of enjoyed them, but they were always peripheral and never became established. We had been together 25 years and our sex life was definitely waning. Our love for each other was still there, but sex had faded. Elle was not enjoying how we had sex and I was getting sad and bored about masturbating. Through tumblr and porn I discovered the idea of tying cord around my testicles whilst I masturbated. I found this intensified my orgasm and the look of my bound testicles excited me. At the same time I saw images of modified genitals and this too excited me. With permission from Elle I started to divide my glans. Using a scalpel I slowly, over several weeks, cut my glans so that it had two separated halves. I loved the affect and would often cum as I used the scalpel. I filmed the process and posted it on a genital modification forum. When Elle saw a video of me sounding with my opened glans she hated it. For a few days I thought she was going to leave me. But she told me that after a lot of soul searching she still loved me, but couldn't cope with the modification. In a flash of inspiration I realised I might have a solution. I had seen male chastity devices on Tumblr and on the genital modification forum and thought that wearing one would stop me being able to further modify my penis and also cover up my glans, hiding the mod from Elle. I asked her and she agreed. Immediately, no hesitation. It took us several weeks and several wrong starts before in November 2015 I put on my Holy Trainer for the first time. I promised Elle I would only masturbate when she allowed me to and handed her the keys to the HTv2. At this point the idea of even moderate orgasm control was not part of the deal. That developed over months. Very slowly Elle started to realize how much of an impact orgasm control and denial had on me. She started to relax and something wonderful happened. She got her desire for sex back. The only difference was she had got over the guilt that I wasn't orgasming. In 2016 she had many more orgasms than during any of our previous years together. I know this because I counted them. 72 in total. And this was despite us being apart for several months due to work and a few months when she was unable to do anything due to illness and after an operation. The introduction of her control over my orgasms was so steady I hardly noticed it happening. We went a few weeks, then a few weeks again. Then it doubled and for the first time in my life since discovering masturbation I went a month. Then two months. My longest period of denial was over five months. During all this Elle realised how much fun teasing me was. My response to her teasing me, where she turns me on but doesn't allow me a release, makes her wetter than anything I have ever done before. One day she blew my mind by grabbing my hand and pushing my fingers into her sodden pussy. She had never done anything like that before. Elle became my Mistress during this period, as well as my Wife and my friend. We still hover in the vanilla end of chastity, but we are definitely much kinkier than previously. I would say we are more sensual than kinky. Elle loves yoni massage for instance, a tantric sex massage that is something we discovered through chastity. During all of this I was exposed to the idea of FLRs, through Tumblr and then the Mansion. I realised Elle had always been pretty much in charge and we had always been living in a moderate FLR. She disagreed, not liking the idea that she was in charge of our lives. She doesn't feel like that now. I told her that for me to accept her control of my orgasms, I had to think of her as being truly in control. Over time she slowly accepted this idea. We started reading Georgia Ivey Green's How to set up an FLR and this was the clincher. In it Green described a type of FLR that almost perfectly matched our relationship. A mixture of a shipboard and a cooperative FLR. Elle is in charge, a loving, caring Mistress, she seeks my opinion, demands my obedience, asks for and receives my support. I am allowed to use my initiative but big decisions are hers. The areas that she struggled with were telling me to do things and punishment. Just recently I have noticed that she is at last becoming more comfortable with asking me to do things. Her way is to say please, but to make it obvious that she expects me to do as she has asked. In her world politeness costs nothing. So she will ask me to go upstairs and get her iPad and glasses, make her a drink, carry something for her. She will leave me a few jobs to do whilst she is at work. She would very often revert to just doing things for herself, even if she had been at work all day and was tired. I would often tell her that I was happy to do things for her, that doing them actually made me feel useful and loved. Slowly, slowly, she became comfortable with the idea that she wasn't being a bossy bitch, that I both sought opportunities to do these tasks and was made happy by doing them. She also occasionally just looks at me until I realize that either she wants me to do something, or I have done something wrong and need to fix the issue. My behavior also modified over time, making her more comfortable with the idea of discipline and punishment. This is an area she is still working on, but is slowly getting there. A few days ago she admonished me in a huge supermarket, at the self serve check out tills. She told me off for snatching an item off of her that she couldn't scan, telling me I was acting like a child. I thought about what I had done, realised she was right, and stepped back, giving her space to work. I carried the bags to the car and kept quiet until she spoke to me. She was surprised that I wasn't sulking, as this had been a huge problem before we started modifying my behavior. My acceptance of her control has had a huge impact on me. In our contract I wrote that I fully accepted her use of discipline and punishment. Elle is learning that I meant what I wrote and that I both accept and expect her to tell me off and do something about my behavior if I deserve it. So, two nights ago, when I ruined a cake she was making by setting the temperature of the oven wrong, when she was furious but didn't punish me, I punished myself. We are in a holiday cottage, away from home. She went to bed early, very tired and upset. I slept downstairs on some cushions on the floor. It wasn't the best night, our dog thought it was fun, but my blanket was thin and I was cold and uncomfortable. When she woke up and came downstairs she asked me why I had slept on the floor. I told her that I felt like I didn't deserve to sleep with her because of what had happened. At first she thought I was silly. But then last night we briefly talked about punishment. I told her this was a time when punishment would have been definitely deserved. No, I hadn't ruined the cake on purpose, but I had done so through carelessness. She would have been justified to punish me. It would have made me feel better if she had. Elle thought about this for a while and then agreed. She is slowly understanding that my submission comes with responsibilities of her own, and the use of punishment is one of them. She doesn't want to treat me like a child, but this is just one occasion where she needed to exert authority. Before she turned over to go to sleep she told me I was really sweet. I asked why. She told me it was because I now accepted her telling me off without sulking. This had been one of the major issues before chastity that had been reducing her desire for sex. If she had told me off like she had in the supermarket, or if we had a disagreement of some kind, i would sulk for days. If she didn't want sex I would also sulk. Not the best way to turn your Wife on! Slowly, slowly, things are changing, very much for the better.