So I passed the 1 yr chasriversay a week ago. My Queen introduced this lifestyle and has been wonderfully strict, addicting me ro the high. But like a wild animal I have never fully given in and have said repeatedly that she better not let her guard down or else... Well, or else finally came. She left the keys out days ago and I grabbed them. She hasnt noticed and I havent used them (yet). It bugs me that she hasnt even noticed, and it bugs me more that she teases me that I may never come again. This is my chance! Maybe my last chance! But I can't bear to think of her dissapointment if I do. Not in me, because I have been very clear about what I would do given the chance, but in herself for allowing it to happen. Her confidence is, for sure, her sexiest feature and I dont want to kill it. If I just hand them to her it will still be a failure. If I sneak them back then I am the liar. I want to take the top of the (split) cage off and let her find out and make a deal if locking me up, but not sure if I can be "good" after so long. I think I know communication and honesty is the right policy, but the details are not easy. Making it worse is that her best friend is staying with us for the week. Not easy being open about anything. Ugh.