First day of the rest of his life ;)

Chin up—you got to celebrate and honor the woman in your life by following her wishes. Don’t make it about you.

@BigWoodsmanLittleWood did a great job of this yesterday. He wanted to worship my pussy but saw how exhausted I was from work and without being told, did exactly what I wanted: gave me cuddles and a foot rub and encouraged me to go to bed early. His sensitivity to my real needs (instead of what he thought I should need/want) made me feel appropriately honored, like he actually cared about international women’s day instead of just using it as a cover for his desires.

 

After a few days when I had to really lay down the law, and a few deep and satisfying talks afterward, I arrived at Saturday feeling like it might be possible to have a nice, relaxing weekend. No one tells you that the early stages of chastity feel a bit like training a puppy, requiring constant vigilance and more severity than is enjoyable. But last night in front of the winter bonfire, @BigWoodsmanLittleWood joyfully recommitted his cock and everything that goes with it: his potential for erections, orgasms, his ability to touch it at all. And I told him exactly what my expectations were for the next day (let me sleep in, don’t guilt trip me with how long you’ve gone without orgasms or how tight the cage feels) and that if he meets those standards, he can look forward to some spicy-sweet attention from me.

He seemed so obliging that I let myself drink more wine than I usually do. I’m not a big drinker generally, but my growing sense of power has made me feel more free, I guess. I woke up this morning to a bit of a hangover and drafted @BigWoodsmanLittleWood to put his arms around me with no prodding, probing, or bumping his cage against my butt. I didn’t really think he’d be able to do it…but he did! He lay there and held me and I felt my whole body melt into this deep relaxation that almost made me cry, it felt so good.

This would NEVER have happened without chastity. Maybe not even before this point in chastity. Asking him to hold me was a sure bet that he’d initiate sex, openly or implied. And because of my fear of making him feel rejected, I’d feel obligated to say yes, even if I was sick or upset. But thanks to the influence of the cage, he’s committed his cock to my service, and I’m finally accepting this gift as my own, understanding that it means I can tell him everything to do and not do with it that suits my needs from one minute to the next. As a result, I was able to get all the comfort I wanted from his big, warm, strong body. It was like cuddling a loving grizzly bear.

Here’s hoping he continued through the rest of the day at the same pace because I really want to reward him for being such a good boy this morning.

 

Beautifully said, @Rectrix thank you for this affirmation.

 

Omigod, I’ve been putting off updating this story because so much has happened…and every time I procrastinate, yet another development shows up.

It’s hands-down the best week of chastity and maybe the best week of our marriage in the last few years. And that’s with me in the PMS zone! This used to be a time when both of us were on constant alert for something that might trigger me to break into helpless rage-crying, a fun new feature of my hormonal cycle since I had my kid.
It was a moment when my resentment and frustration would finally break out of the box I kept them in. Not to excuse the bad behavior I displayed at those times; I said and did things I’ll always be ashamed of. Interestingly, so many of these times would end with my man coming to comfort me, even when I was the one at fault. He’d hold me and let me cry and we’d whisper to each other how much we loved each other. It sucks to reflect that our most intimate times required a big fight to happen.

I sort of think that the moment when it turned was last weekend when I made him drink his cum. He’s lapped it off my body before, many times, but never collected it in a cup and drank it. He’s been saying that it’s something he wants to do, but when I finally told him to, I wasn’t sure he’d do it without a lot of resistance. To my utter delight, he grabbed the glass, filled it up, and tossed it back without missing a beat.

Every day since his devotion has been at a steady high. He’s ascended to a new level—I can feel it inside me, the different energy he’s giving off. Eve even handled a tough moment of frustration yesterday worlds better than he ever has before—he just stepped away quietly and spent a few minutes alone before coming back regulated.

Interestingly, this has been the roughest PMS I’ve had in a while. I woke up yesterday feeling heavy and hollow to a crazy degree, not to mention physically exhausted. Knowing what the problem was didn’t make it any easier to deal with. Having him be so good in a time where I am least easy to be around was a testament to the effect of taking the cock out of the equation.

He’s also been mentioning how much more energy he has and how much more fit he feels since we started. Turns out staying up late to masturbate until 2am every night isn’t great for your health. His body looks better than it did when we first met, not only because of the regular exercise he’s been getting and the far fewer chips he’s eating late at night, but also he’s standing taller and carrying himself differently. Today he said that he was catching a vibe from a mom of another kid at our kid’s preschool pickup. I cannot wait until our trip in a few weeks when I’ll get to parade him around. Maybe I’ll throw him our hand signal while we’re in public and watch him try to find a way to obey while making it look like a natural gesture. (I’ve been daydreaming about doing that to him almost since we started.)

 

It just occurred to me that the post above must look extremely suss to anyone who recalls that we’ve been doing this whole thing for FOUR. WEEKS. Barely that long, in fact. But I promise I’m not lying. I never expected this to generate so much noticeable change so fast. It’s a bit much to process sometimes, tbh. But after so many years wondering what we were doing wrong—we loved each other so much yet seemed to end up more and more disconnected—there’s something kind of nice about such a speedy and intense reconnection. Feels like making up for lost time.

I love you @BigWoodsmanLittleWood

 

Cross posting from Humiliation forum:

@BigWoodsmanLittleWood has always loved eating me out while I’m on my cycle. That was one of the things that surprised and delighted me most about him…not to mention my surprise at my own delight. If you’d asked me before if I’d find this appealing, I’m sure I’d have said no. But the first time I saw his face come up with his beard all stained red and his eyes wide with excitement like he couldn’t believe his good luck, I remember feeling lit up like a Xmas tree.

In recent years, though, he’s copped an attitude about it as though he thought it was distasteful. (In retrospect, I should have seen that for the red flag it was.) I still made him do it, but really resented (and missed) the enthusiasm he used to have about me and my body (beyond just the conventionally desirable parts).

This is my first cycle since we started FLR and chastity, and today I made him lie down twice in the shower and be still while I free-bled over him. Once I even made him remove my hygiene device with his teeth. Afterward I made him clean me up with his mouth. The way he went at my bloody pussy like a starving man offered a steak felt like the very first time I saw him come up with the red-stained beard, but this time, the surprise and delight was amplified by a delirious feeling of power.

So much of this is still a learning about myself process, trying to understand why things appeal to me or don’t or how I can be most authentic in my expression of power and dominance. But seeing the dark red stains of my blood, the outpouring of my deepest struggle and grief and rage that I have to hide away and handle alone every month, running over his body as he trembled beneath me…that requires no analysis, no apologia. It made me feel like something out of legend. I can’t wait to do it again.

 

Is it normal that every day in chastity feels like a lifetime? It's hard to believe @BigWoodsmanLittleWood and I have been practicing this for only two months.

Last weekend (I think), it became clear that my "gentle" approach is not effective at this stage. I was allowing too much release (both time out of the cage and sexual release) and he got out of line. I was trying to reward him for his progress and good behavior, but after two full days of sweetness and affection, I came home after being gone only an hour to find that he'd committed a serious infraction. I really let him have it--unleashed my rage at him, not just for that time but in light of all the times in the past that I let this type of behavior slide. (Hard to believe now that I just shrugged it off and repressed my outrage.) It was profoundly cathartic for me and impactful (literally) for him. He said he's never felt my dominance as much as he did that day.

He also shared with me later that day that my vacillating between strict and gentle is confusing for him. That was an interesting thing to consider and I appreciated that he shared it with me. As a result, I've doubled down on my strictness and he's responded SO well. I couldn't be more proud of him and of myself. He's had a regimen of daily showers (sometimes twice daily) and frequent beatings as punishment for his infraction. I also extended his sentence twice. His balls are so big now and I love grabbing them unexpectedly throughout the day.

Interestingly, the more strict and unyielding I am with him, the more I find that I want to have "sexy time" with him: teasing, torture, aftercare, rewards. Now that it's on my schedule and at my whim, I feel free...and that makes me feel sexy. It also helps that I can initiate anything from kissing to nipple play to making him eat my pussy without asking for anything in return (which I did a few nights ago) and he's happy with it.

We were talking today about how useless his dicklette is to me. Just at that moment, I moved my hand from where it was squeezing his balls and accidentally pinched the tip and it hurt him. "What a liability," I said. "It seems like it would be better if men just got rid of the penis altogether once it's served its purpose for procreation." It was kind of a joke but as soon as I said it, I thought wow...that might be exactly the change the world needs. Think about it. Men are controlled by their cocks, and what does the cock want? To constantly procreate. Just to make more more more. And that same ethos is what's killing our environment, our world economies, our societal structure, even our physical health. We blame mass consumption but maybe it's really mass production that's the problem--the imperative to constantly grow, expand, produce more of everything. If men were castrated after they'd served their procreative purpose (in moderation, at the discretion of women), maybe this planet would have a goddam chance of survival.

Discuss.

 

What a lovely thing to say, and an astute observation as well. I'm glad that my posts are reflecting the increasing joy I'm experiencing from my marriage, my partner and myself.