Do you think key holding it's an acquired taste?

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by MissCherry85, Apr 14, 2021.

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  1. MissCherry85
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    I've been thinking about this for a long time. When I started dominating I felt really frustrated about submissives telling me I shouldn't permit sexual intercourse. I never liked the way some ' old wise' said D/s relationship should be.

    I have orgasms with penetration was so difficult for me to understand why they didn't allowed me to use their penis, since I was ruling the situation.

    So the time passed and I meet chancho my slave ( well it's more complicated than that) He explained to me that if it was my will he would penetrate me but wasn't something he wanted or needed. Again frustration and feeling undesired, until this boy ( I'm 36 and he's 27) explained me that his pleasure was serve me and worship me. Since then he never ever touched himself, never have an orgasm I never needed to denied him orgasms.

    Now I really get used to please myself with vanilla partners and satisfied my dominant and sadistic side with chancho.

    So I get it. It's really much better if they (subs) never cum.. wich led me to the conclusion about not let them cum at all.

    So my question is.. since to me was a succession of facts and conclusions which led me to understand that. Did anyone like this from the beginning without any suggestions or conclusions?

    PS: of course chancho is not my locked partner
     
  2. Mrloched
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    Mrloched Active member

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    My Mistress uses the cage to retain control of my penis, if she wants it out that's up to her. I would question the wisdom of anybody who tells you what a d/s relationship should be like. Take advice and share ideas, but as the dominant the impetus is on you to take charge and indulge yourself. If it's fun embrace it, if you find no pleasure then discard it. As a submissive I get the most enjoyment from seeing my Mistress happy.
     
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  3. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    I think it depends on personality type and sexual needs/preferences of the keyholder. Some women are surprisingly ruthless with chastity, given a chance. For others, as you describe, it's an acquired taste, if at all.
     
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  4. 24-7Chaste
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    It's not always an acquired thing. Some people don't have it in them to do that to other people.
    It took a while to convince my wife to take part as my keyholder.

    Now, I got a bit more than I bargained for because she likes 24/7 so I'm always ready for her.
    Now, sex is explosive for both of us and I've discovered new appreciation and affection for my wife after 5 years of marriage.

    Denying orgasms seems excessive and unnatural to me and it's also unhealthy for men.
    Ejaculation helps 'keep the pipes clean' and is noted for a reduced chance of prostrate cancer.

    Anyhow, I finally convinced the wife to try it and we both love it but not everybody will be into it.
    They may need convincing or maybe consider a good keyholder book for her/him.
     
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  5. MissCherry85
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    Thank you, once a Mistress told me "you have something different but embrace it, don't let other people's opinion change you."
     
  6. MissCherry85
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    Maybe my English doesn't help lol, my question was about where's the origin of chastity? Always seems like a penis owner idea?
     
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  7. Queens servant73
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    That is what’s so great about all of this, there aren’t set rules that apply to every relationship. My wife / kh was steadily finding her strict / dominant side and my locked days per month were increasing, and I thought I was going to locked for this month, when out of the blue she told me she was going to unlock me and I’d be free for a week or two. We’ve been back to both having orgasms daily for the last week, however it’s completely up to her and I know I may be denied at any time.
    I asked her to take control of our sex lives and she has, chastity is used at her discretion. Works for us and that’s all that matters
     
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  8. MissCherry85
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    Sorry I was too general and exagerated when I said 'never let them cum at all'. Let me explain this, unfortunately those people who played with.. never were my couple. They have their own vanilla intercourse or some of them satisfied themselves when they were alone. I was talking about them when they expend time with me.
    I'm here learning about chastity and devices because it's my first time as a key holder with a virtual relationship.
     
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  9. Xileh
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    Xileh Happily Serving

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    You are doing fine exploring and trying new things. It is you that is in control. You get to decide what is right for you and your partner within agreed boundaries.

    You can practice Dominance without chastity. However, with chastity you can decide when you want him to climax. It does not need to be never. Just when you want him to. That gives you a lot of control over his torment and frustration. If he does not want to climax, you can have fun with that too. It is just another tool for you to play with.

    Men do bring up the idea of chastity more often, but enlightened women and partners are now insisting that it will be a requirement of the relationship.

    Thank you for joining us, this is a good question.
     
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  10. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    Oh! "Acquired Taste" generally refers to something you learn to like through extended experience, not just something you're introduced to.

    I think it usually is the man's idea. It's very rare for the woman to come up with the idea, presumably because malesubs spend an awful lot of time and energy in exploring their kink.

    Then, for some dominant women it is an "acquired taste"; they have to experiment and work out how it fits their dynamic. Others seem to regard it as a "body modification" or "upgrade" and embrace it quickly, but without much interest in engaging with it.
     
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  11. shannonsanders
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    My Wife seems to prefer the “control” more than the “strict denial”. Many men like strict denial because the hormones surge and leave them very horny, which the Keyholder may or may not enjoy. I’ve excepted that my Wife isn’t going to feel as intensely about this or experience it the same way

    When She finds her mojo on “control” it is fun. She seems more trusting and open to me on some occasions. We just got back into this and She’s pleased herself in bed, slept topless and kissed more. She doesn’t like me touching her nipples - so the sleeping topless shows trust.

    Try to find what You enjoy and take what horny men want with a grain of salt.
     
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  12. SubSnuggler
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    SubSnuggler Owned by Fiona with the Magical Velveteen Pussy

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    My Wife was slow at first but she's certainly embraced it nowadays. I suspect she's pretty typical but it would be fascinating to know how mainstream vanilla women feel about chastity. I would expect many would be fully onboard with the honor system, but that number would diminish radically when expanded to physical device-enforced chastity.

    What would the final percentage be? I'm guessing less than 10% of women these days would embrace putting chastity devices on their men, but that would probably creep up if the fetish became mainstream (which it never will).
     
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  13. shannonsanders
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    A point of tension for me/us/her - she finds this a mostly "fun" exercise sometimes, which is good. She's never going to quite "feel it" the same way I do. I am most satisfied when there is at least part of it we can connect over. We are both a little conflicted.
     
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  14. MissCherry85
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    I know! the fact that's a secret and the feeling of doing something so disruptive with status quo gives it an extra seasoning
     
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  15. sissydavenport
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    sissydavenport Locked sissy sub / spouse of Mistress Davenport

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    The best part of a Mistress/sub relationship is that they evolve. It took U/us a while to get to where W/we are - A good deal of sex in a variety of manners usually daily where She orgasms and I am teased/denied/edged. The combination of sex, with Her orgasms, and my denial is the combo that works for U/us.
     
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  16. Rectrix
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    Rectrix Active member

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    I think if women knew how much their husbands masturbate and how ineffective the "honor" system is and how privately submissive many men are the percentages would go much higher but almost all men hide those facts.
     
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  17. shannonsanders
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    What is a mainstream woman? Pre-covid, I saw a lot of “mainstream” women at sex clubs or munches. Just about everyone of my wife’s single/looking friends has seen a dating profile of man who was into chastity or has been approached. One friend discussed the idea of dating a submissive friend pretty seriously. The major obstacle was feelings about friendship.
     
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  18. shannonsanders
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    Most women are aware of how pervy we can be. If we knew that they knew what we knew but pretended that they didn’t know what we knew because it’s all so awkward.....
     
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  19. Chaste J.
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    Well all I can say is it didn't take Mrs Chaste long to acquire the taste that's for sure!
     
  20. amvetsb
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    Chastity is and should be an individual thing... either solo or shared between two people. Then, whatever the dynamics are for them, all that matters is what works for them! I think that the answers to the questions and why they are asked should be simple and carefully considered....
    Why lock and what leads to the locking, then how locked and by whom.. Then what goes on during the locking/locked period, and naturally, why and when to unlock, then what to do while unlocked, then, if/why/when to relock.... This should be considered when starting out, during the break-in period and then every time after that chastity is 'applied'.... Even if it's just for occasional 'play'.
    I think many go from zero to 100 without consideration of the 1-99 and don't have a 101 in mind.
    For me, reason for getting locked has always been about curbing my primal male desire to experience an erection and do something with it until a later time. Involving a KH that is willing to and interested in helping with this makes it more appealing! Then yielding the key and clock to a KH to give up the concept of when I could be free again instead of 1-controling this and 2-knowing when it would be. BUT, doing this is still about the end-state and getting to that orgasm! I think many of 'us' were fine with this, as well as many keyholders, but it's more exciting to then further yield the control of what happens when that point is reached and adding a chance of denial in as well... is an orgasm allowed? if so, how is it to be achieved? Then, naturally, what's next and when?
    Chastity also doesn't have to be about 'just' this-or-that... like not just outright denial, or even the clock concept... For a couple, it is a great way for the lockee to be reserved for when the KH wishes to use what's locked up! Which can also involve denial, but doesn't have to be focused on just that... Consider the "You can have sex whenever I have sex, and obviously not when I don't" reserving 'his' pleasure for as often and/or as frequently as 'she' wants it, otherwise, his bits are kept tucked away... This idea works well for the woman that enjoys and wants PIV with her lockee!
    Sorry for rambling
     
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  21. MissCherry85
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    It depends on what country/ culture are you surrounded. I know for sure that in my country many people it's no ready to even imagine something like this. Even when I date with vanillas some of them find annoying that I'm not a quiet and submissive woman ( nothing bad on being like that) and by the other hand there's a lot of closeted submissives who have this fantasies in secret and have a vanilla couple and that works for them I believe. So find this forum was like.. an oasis, read that some of you are in chastity with your wives, it blows my mind.. I love it
     
  22. Ma'at Rebekah
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    Ma'at Rebekah Active member

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    chas·ti·ty

    noun
    1. the state or practice of refraining from extramarital, or especially from all, sexual intercourse.
    she who defines the terms holds the power. if you are letting him define what chastity is then you will be serving his desires in your male led relationship.
     
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  23. latexbound
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    latexbound Locked

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    I think culture is a very strong, base factor in accepting various sexual practises. There are still many cultural settings out there where the majority of folk not only aren't aware of non-vanilla activities but - in the majority - not interested, though you do have to wonder how much the internet is used in such cultures for people to "explore". I've lived and worked in a variety of cultural settings - including Argentina @MissCherry85 - where religion seems to be the underlying driver on the progress of sexual freedom. Okay, I'm getting a bit academic here, but what I wanted to say is that I'm certain there are many that aren't even aware of what they might become in terms of sexual preference, with "keyholder" undoubtedly sat on that list! It's often about being aware of what is possible to trigger those inner, often unrecognised traits...
     
  24. servingwife
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    my keyholder says a sub should not be able to cum
     
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  25. MissCherry85
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    I think we can't rely on a dictionary to define our particular sexual practices.
    And I'm not sure if you're referring to me, but that wasn't my question. I'm pretty sure of when or to whom I'm dominating, and as a human being I can ( or not) agree sometimes with the other person on when or the maximum amount of time in chastity, don't you think?
     
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