Do you think key holding it's an acquired taste?

Your English is just fine. I am enjoying your posts, and learning. Thank you for sharing with us.

 

There are a lot of peol

Love reading your post. My Wife is a little older and was a more experienced than me when we first met. It is still some times confusing to explain how I can want to have sex and be denied at the same time.

Her interest in chastity has gone up. The “control” appeals to her more than “denying” me for a long time.

She has really gotten a taste for ruined orgasms. I didn’t think this would appeal to me. But she really likes to use her hand on me and stop when I cum so that I don’t get to enjoy it. This is the way I usually climax now.

 

How can can i better express my attraction to my Mistress while at the same time hoping she will deny me?

How can i make her feel desired?

Will my Mistress lose interest in me if i do not assertively purse sex?

These are things i still ponder 25 years after first telling her i had a strong interest in erotic denial.

 

I think the idea of wearing an actual device has got to be predominantly a male idea.

But, don't some women like to tease or lead a man on with no intention of sex? That can't be so uncommon. My Wife did this before we started dating.

 

if i want piv and my puck wants to be denied so we abstain from piv. who is dominating who ?

 

Exactly, but why does he have any say in the matter?

 

True! My Wife views device as “fun” when we are getting along well, and sometimes hot. But it never would have occurred to Her. I got the idea from reading erotica years ago not long before we dated.

 

I’ve mentioned this before, but it was my madam who first saw male chastity devices, and as soon as she saw them she wanted me in one!

 

I do think it comes slowly for most KH. The idea is mostly male driven, but it can be appealing to many women once they give it some thought, experience it some for themselves and see what benefits it produces for them and the caged ones.

 

You are in the lucky minority. Early on, my wife did see a guy at a club with leather shorts and somewhat of a cage and thought it was hot but he was alone and I/we didn’t think of it as enforced chastity.

 

Origins; my wife was never particularly interested in chastity. Or in sex that much. I think she can take it or leave it. if it's any effort on her part, she's especially not interested.

If a man desires chastity, and a woman doesn't care, or wishes for sex, should he not focus on learning what she wants, and complying with that? To attempt to bend her away from her will would be "topping from the bottom," or at least show an insensitivity to her desires or wants.

If she wants sex, she should have sex, period. If she wants him in chastity, he should be in chastity, period.

if she wants him released, that's her call.

It shouldn't be his.

 

I think most often, men suggest chastity.

If you practice chastity and dominance as part of kinky play, then suggestions from the sub will help the dominant partner respond and lead the play. Great fun.

If you are practicing chastity and/or dominance as part of a long term FLR, some people will suggest that the sub should have no role making suggestions. That may be a goal, but I think two-way communication is good, especially when just starting out. Everybody needs to learn since D/s and chastity is probably new for both partners. At some point, the dominant partner may decline accepting suggestions or be selective. That, is when it gets very real for the sub.

 

Good Post thank you, Miss Cherry.

Phoenix, remembers the last time I have had any type of penetration thirty-four years ago this July my Son will be thirty-fours years old August. Starting this journey while being young (left home thanksgiving 1969 two weeks before turning 14) So what I will share is far from what would be normal. Never play football but had the size. Never played any sports. No school dances, Lots of Porn people had bands clicks I had porn stars. At one time working for Falcon entertainment. Between 1972 and 1974 made ten total Heavy extreme Gay Leather custom for a client films as it was moving into video. I was first locked on my 18th birthday when I became Sirs Leather Pet, oh the stories lol and moved into and served His house. Just some background because when I first tell people they go all right sure as they roll their eyes. All that time I have found Men love men in chastity more so than Women do sorry guys. Just because one is locked does not stop your orgasm. Some of the most earth-shattering ones I have had shaken my whole being the cage never came off. The body will find a way my doctor friend tells me I believe it to be true. Here I am at 65 in a custom sleeve now, with what started at playing around with my Mistress dressing as Her Maid cuckold twenty years ago slave. HRT, Hair nails removing the rest of my body hair becoming Phoenix. Mistress She has retired now to work on Her Video's and pictures. Think about that guys She told me at 70 lol retired. All slaves should always know the four S's. I will share and help your self in using them.
1. Surrender
2. Submit
3. Sacrifice
4. Serve
5. Survive
Quick Affirmation
See the Work
Do The Work
Stay out of the Misery

Living with ease, Working only to please

See in my life I start my day with affirmations. I wake in my room I have an alter to goddess I knell before it with a small one to start my day in service to my Goddess/Wife.
If I hear Her moving around in Her Bedroom I place Her Morning coffee muffin juice on a tray taking it to Her. Knock on Her door inter knell before Her bed eyes down cast until She says dismissed Phoenix I rise place the tray down about face leave. For me as screwed up my life was Personal Honor has been Paramount.
So sorry to wander off of chastity
May as well share the four D's of Domestic Discipline
1. Disrespect
2. Danger
3. Dishonesty
4. Disobedience

Have a great day Madam, slave Phoenix

 

You are right that it's strange that the sub decides when and what.
But one day he started to be a sub. He said that he would want to be dominated by her and
that he wants this and that and if she agrees then they can play this domination game.
And if ashe agrees with his wishs they can start to be KH and sub.
Then he has no power any more.

But if she does not agreee to his ideas then there will be no power change game.

If she hates the idea so much then he can think about if he let this chastity idea go
or believe that she is the wrong woman for him and search another woman.

 

For my wife, its about control and a way to assert dominance in part of our marriage. My wife is bi and when she wants to make love she will go to bed with one of her GF. If she wants to fuck, i get uncaged. As I have gotten older and blood pressure meds have taken its tool on my ability to get real hard without medication, I am locked at all times during the week. During the week we do use the hot tub and there is lots of cuddling and teasing, but Saturday night is our "date" or play night. I may get unlocked, but if I don't the night is always interesting. This is where she exerts her dominance either way and controls my end pleasure.

 

Mistress & I met about 18 years ago, so my memories my not be quite accurate, but.....

It was Mistress who introduced orgasm control & denial. I think it was she that suggested we should use a chastity device, but perhaps it was me? But she definitely enforced it once we started.

Chastity device use has not been constant since then. There have been long period where it was not used. But 16 months ago, Mistress wanted me locked again.

I don't think it was an acquired taste for her. I am certain she loves the power & control (& I love that she does.)

 

I think it would be devastating to me if my Wife truly lost interest in sex with me and I didn’t feel attractive or desirable. If we are not having sex because it is an interesting way of connecting and building up desire, I find that hot. If she just woke up and decided she didn’t have desire to have sex with me, that would hurt. I think she feels the same way - explaining that I desire sex, but also desire her withholding it sometimes is difficult. There is tension in this for sure, and the tension appeals to me.

 

"Do you think key holding it's an acquired taste?"
Let us revisit this...
Yes, an acquired taste. I think so. Perhaps some find it more appealing from the start than others do, but I think more would develop an interest after being introduced to it, then getting their head into it, then if the interest is still there, let it happen/grow on them/become an acquired taste....

 

I think that most keyholders had to to be introduced to the concept, and they needed time and guidance to learn firsthand the power and pleasure holding a key could provide them. It is still a rather obscure practice so they had to have had an introduction from someone.

That is one way to look at it. Food for thought; once you know the likes and dislikes of a sub, you have amazing power and influence over them. Certainly not something to be ignored. If you know they don't like to come, you now have powerful knowledge and a tool. Now, why would a Dominant woman find value in that?