Why

I guess is an additional kinks, not a real evolution of chastity;
my hubby is caged since long time and i have no will to feminize him

 

Feminization is something we've toyed with, but I am bi-sexual, so it all seems fine and fitting to me. It does, though, seem like it's a running theme here. If that's something you're comfortable with, maybe bring it up with him to see if he is interested in that, also? If you're open to it, that conversation could be a very important, memorable moment in his life.

 

Oh, and if you're not interested in it, just maybe be as open as you can? If you're not into it, but he is, it could be a very difficult topic for him. But hopefully you're both on the same page. Nothing breeds lies like feeling dirty or ashamed.

 

This is one aspect of our FLR which evolved over time. We were enjoying a wonderful holiday where my KH brought the issue up of dressing me in lingerie. There ensued many mutually enjoyable shopping trips together where she got to choose items that would suit me. She has subsequently explained that it’s not necessarily the look of me in lingerie that she likes best, but rather the effect it has on me. She will insist on me wearing a cami set no more than once a month so it’s certainly not a daily aspect. Ultimately of course it’s up to you but it can certainly be fun.

 

I had this funny image of your poor husband being ordered into panties as you explain it's fine its just the next step

It's an extra kink. People in the forums are generally into multiple kinks and mix them up in ways they find exciting. When we're excited about something we tend to evangelise and tell everyone they should try it.

Lots of us here are not feminized... "not that there's anything wrong with that"

 

Some of us really don't have any interest in it, and some KHs don't either.

 

Sometimes it’s not feminization but could be something like wear these panties today and done more for humiliation or just as an extra reminder as to who is in charge it’s all what you want. Maybe it is to help keep him aroused in the cage better

 

Just an extra kink. For many feminization fits in with loss of control of male organs, represented by chastity. Like almost everything else in sexual world, do what you and partner want, not what others want. Sort of like bondage, discipline, cuckolding, etc., lots of room for overlap or keep limited. Good luck and enjoy.

 

TBH, I noticed that a lot of the replies to your posts went that direction too. Even after you said that was not your interest. I chalked that up to people projecting their own interests and/or not reading your comments.

Chastity does not have to include feminization at all. They are related for some, but certainly not all. I encourage you to stick around the Mansion. If you are not interested in feminization I’d also encourage you to state that in your post to help direct the replies that you will find helpful.

 

I have had several responses to my posts pushing feminization even after I've made it clear I'm not interested.

 

Extra kink. People naturally have difficulty separating themselves from somebody else's situation, and given the large proportion of the board being into feminization, you'll see a lot of responses that assume that is also your interest. I have to be careful to separate BDSM from my advice, as that's where I come from.

The only way to do chastity (or any kink) wrong is in a way the participants don't like.

 

In My Humble Opinion,

Chastity and Feminization are separate, but often overlapping kinks. Interest in one does not necessarily signal interest in the other. Some of us can be so enthusiastic about our kinks, that it can be easy to forget that not everyone shares them.

If the idea of feminizing your partner turns you off, then don't do it. It is definitely NOT a requirement to practice chastity.

 

just buy some panties for him and tell him that it’s for when he is in chastity, I know he will try them on, then tell him that you love it. He will start to like wearing them when he knows that you approve.

 

It is what some people are into. I guess that they assume that because it is what they are into it that everyone else is as well and it becomes part of their response to questions.

I don’t understand the desire for feminization or sissification and it is not something that I or my woman are into. People should respect one another’s differences so that they are not giving someone tips on how to femininize their husband if they have not expressed a desire to do so.

 

Some people just can't take KMA, for an answer.

 

Not something me or my wife wants. It is not a slippery slope. If you aren't into it, it isn't going to happen. You are in charge. Make it your own

 

Personally I can't see what it has to do with chastity. And it not anything we do in our relationship.

Why anyone would suggest it I cannot think why unless they think that their kink should be yours.

Go with the heart and do your own thing.

A.

 

I can say the same about cuckolding as well. It is never going to be part of our dynamic. There are some that assume the two are necessarily related. They aren't. I'm not even submissive by nature, in fact I'm a typical male. In our situation I have a higher libido, and ADHD...The perfect storm which turned me into a selfish self satisfier. Wanting to break that cycle, I locked up. Then I found there was more satisfaction in the long journey to coming less often, much less, and I'm less selfish, more focused, not just on her but generally, and in being that way I make her happier. And, I don't feel guilty. There are so many ways and reasons why chastity. I get the impression that some of those who want to feminise want denial for very different reasons, especially if they want to identify as feminine. The use of the penis for orgasm is seen as a masculine thing that should be avoided.

Humiliation is another one that is quite individual. I don't like SPH (small penis humiliation), my wife is quite happy with mine, and it wouldn't work on me, but told she likes "keeping it in a tiny cage" is hot. Communication is important.

 

Yeah, the more my wife/kh and I explore chastity the larger we realize the venn diagram is we other kinks. We've only been at this for a few weeks, but we have (both) found a few dead ends.

 

Male chastity is really emasculation, I see it and feminization as separate axes.

Yes, you can do male chastity without any feminization.

Note that there are plenty of people who are quite into feminization on the internet, and many are also interested in chastity, so you are likely to get a skewed perspective.

 

Male chastity does not have to be emasculating at all. If it was, then it wouldn't work for me. Making my wife come without my cock makes me feel very masculine. Waiting for her makes me feel like a gentleman.

I think the only thing to say that is true about chastity across the board is this...

Male chastity is what you and your partner/ keyholder (if you are lucky to have one) make it.

Coming too soon and not satisfying her can feel a little emasculating, but in our dynamic that is not the goal. Feminisation is emasculating by definition, and perhaps the goal for some, but if you want to be feminine is that not the goal anyway. And if humiliation through feminisation is the goal/kink then emasculation is one of the methods of achieving that for some.

Chastity helps me become the best version of masculinity, I feel empowered by it. I feel superior to those that don't practice it but whose relationships probably would benefit from it.

 

There seem to be a lot of people here in denial, claiming that chastity is all about the woman's needs. But with almost no exceptions, everything being done in chastity could, and should, be done out of chastity. The reality is most of this is about the needs of person in chastity. Their need to feel subjugated, to feel punished for their previous transgressions, and their need to have an excuse to play the role they want to play, and pretend they have no choice.
With that in mind, this month, my wife's birthday month, there will be no chastity. She will not have to think about it in any way, if I should be teased or if i need to be let out to clean up or checked for problems.. Yet I will still do my chores, I will even do extra without being asked. There will be no pressure for her to be in charge if she doesn't feel like it. This month will actually be about her.

 

well i am a tgirl and i dont tell anybody on here to turn the man into a girl. i was like what i am before i meet Mistress.

 

This really struck home. I've been struggling a little bit with this. The whole reason my wife and I started down this path was the realization that I've been physically selfish over the years. I'm worried I'm just perpetuating the cycle I'm trying to get out of.

For what it's worth, or maybe just a rationalization, my wife seems to be really enjoying it!