Don't want to lock back up after orgasm.

I had the same reaction yesterday evening.
I told her I would lock up in the morning.
And so I did.

If you really want her to force you, a locking collar or locked high heels that don't come of until the cage is on should do the trick.

 

Give her a $100 bill before unlocking. She gets to keep it if you don’t lock back up within an hour.

 

She asked. You refused. Game is over there.

For my KH and I, if we disobey or don’t follow through then it all comes to an end. If you want chastity then figure it out. Not only are you wanting something but you also want someone to convince you of you wanting it.

 

I understand the emotional side of your denial. Relinquishing control after such a nice release is difficult. But you need to either commit to your desire for chastity or figure out a suitable lure/punishment to convince you to do so (like the suggestions above). Will your wife lock you up or does she only let you do it? If you are restrained when released, she could lock your cock up before releasing you. But a better solution is to really decide how much chastity play is right for you and wife. Good luck.

 

All good advice above. You need to decide what works best. My input is that it’s YOU that needs to change your thinking. You need to wrap your head around the idea that you are better off in chastity...better for your wife, and in the long run, happier with yourself. If you can get yourself to the point where you want to be caged in general, then getting over that (pretty common) post orgasm sexual ennui would be a lot easier. I love the $100 bill idea, to tell the truth, but I think changing your own headspace is ultimately better.

 

Pay attention to this. While it is fun to have her lock you up, the effort to abstain should be yours nor hers. If you like who you are when abstaining, then abstain on your own. If you show her why you are better that way, she will start expecting that from you.

Changes take time. I am 6 months into starting chastity with my wife. Only now is she realizing the positive effects. What started as my idea that she could take or leave is now something she expects from me.

Hope this helps

 

Keep in mind that it takes time to get used to sleeping caged and just one night of sleeping erections will make it harder when you go back in. If I refused to go back in after my KH said to put it on, it would be a LONG time before she let me out once she got me to lock up. You are either going to turn her off of chastity or she is going to realize her power and make her own rules without your input.

I’d get her to agree to set a timer when you unlock and when it goes off you both know it’s time to put the cage back on. It would also be good for her to put you through a 90 day training program that is orgasm and erection free with minimum unlocks for hygiene. This gets her used to teasing you and saying no and trains you to serve without expectations.

 

She puts a pair of handcuffs on you ..on either both hands or just the one and does not remove it until you are back inthe cage. Maybe a collar as well.

Of course you could go to work with the collar and handcuffs on ....maybe humiliation is a thing for you.

I think that if she wants to be completely assertive she should give you a choice... refuse to go back in the cage and the whole thing is over for good.

Of course you could be bound as I am bya simple promise. A condition of any release for me at any time for whatever reason is that if I am told to put the cage back I have PROMISED to do so.

What your word means to you only you know,

 

When I'm unlocked I want to stay that way. Every time. And once I am locked back up I love it. My GF also LOVES the changes in me whem I'm locked. So we talked - and agreed I should be restrained enough that she can relock me.

Lots of people will complain that this puts the burden back on her, but my GF loves it. To her it was a minor inconvenience (that she now loves to play with), accompanied by my advance consent and our mutual understanding of what works for us. Now I am not getting out as often but we both love the dynamic.

Every couple is different, but communication goes a long way.

 

every hour you remain unlocked afterwards is a day/week/month (you choose) extra that you stay locked next time.

 

If she loves it, then it is not a burden. We often speak from our own limited experience. In my case, the burden is mine. In your case, it seems she would gladly bear the burden to receive the benefits.

Just don't be surprised if over time she learns how to get you back in the cage without restraining you. (Ruined orgasms until you behave, forced orgasms until you beg to be put in the cage, longer release periods for bad behavior, humiliation, sissification each time you don't go back into the cage in a certain time, or even encouragement via consensual blackmail.)

Sorry, I should have asked if she is on this forum first before posting those ideas. Oops!

Play nice!

 

Everyone is different. Personally, I can’t wait to clean up and get locked back after orgasm. It’s what my KH expects, and what I’ve committed to. And, it feels right for me. As another poster mentioned, I have heard of keyholders who restrain their charges before unlocking which avoids the issue. After sex, they simply put the cage right back on themselves before the restraints come off. I doubt any of us have anything to say that will convince you to lock up afterwards. It’s pretty much a case of what you’re expecting to get out of chastity. Were I you, I’d be afraid she will eventually get tired of your behavior and refuse to play the game anymore.

 

Topping from the bottom. Personally I love being caged. But I know that feeling of "I'll put it on later". I'd say you need to commit, or for her to say, "if it's not going on now, it's not going back on at all".

 

There should be no need for her to have a hold over you to relock, commitment on your part to honour your wife's wish for you to relock should be motivation in itself and enough
condition yourself to accept relock after her gift of allowing you release as a sign of devotion to her,

 

I would be whipped for an attitude like this...

 

@Blue00 "Consensual Blackmail": Love that contradiction which applies so well here. My GF is not on CM but but uses another site and has plent of KH mentors that keeps her well ahead of me, so I can indeed be sure of more...

Tying Consual Blackmail back to OP: When locked and lavishing her any way she wants you may want to discuss your relocking dilemma and ask her what would be best. When I brought this up there wasnt a hesitation "Dont worry honey, I like you so much better this way that I will guarantee it". Of couse she could just say: "that's your problem not mine" in which case I defer to several of the other excellent comments above.

 

I got one... it just popped in my brain

She locks your phone with a pin number/ pattern before sex or play and not unlocked until the chastity cage is back on.

How's that for incentive.

 

As most people have said before, you need to sort out your headspace. If you refuse to go back in then the game is over. It’s your fault, no one else’s.

on the other hand you could just do what I do. I’m never unlocked from my cage unless I’m restrained in some way. As such I have no choice but to be locked back up by my girlfriend. Sadly, when I’m unlocked I don’t get to cum either though.

 

Maybe you shouldn’t be allowed to cum/orgasm when you have sexy with her?

 

Yes. Why on earth should he orgasm, ever?

 

Alot of good advice, whenbi was reading your post I thought it was me who wrote most of it. After I cum I don't want to go back in chastity and if pushed I could win the battle with the wife since she is all new to chastity. I have been in chastity with the wife since march 19th when she closed the lock. Since then i was able to cum twice. After the second time she really notice the change in my behavior and now i am locked until sometime this summer. However, she gave me until the next morning to be back in chastity. We both agreed to chastity and I gave up my control to her. If she wants me back in then I put the chastity cage on. I might not want to but we both agreed to her controlling the cage. Yes she is very vanilla and still trying to figure out her domme side. That is my two cents, don't spend it all in one location. Lol

 

glad you’ve turned it around.
Should be a lifestyle and not just a game/kink.