Don't want to lock back up after orgasm.

Before we started permanent chastity and long term denial, I could request a ruined orgasm or milking after 8 weeks. But I too had to pay a 50. dollar penalty for it. So she could go have her nails done. Grin. We don’t do that anymore, I pay for her nails whenever she needs them. And I get relief maybe ever 6 months now. With that being extended to 8, then once a year. For life. I don’t count how many days I’ve been locked for, I have been reprogrammed to think of it as I’ve only been in permanent chastity for this long now, and I have a lifetime of it to go.

 

Love the outcome and your update. I think it is better for the both of you. As far as locking up after an O, i don't mind that. It is eating the results of my self-pleasure that is so hard. But it is a prerequisite for any releases, so i do it. Hope you keep it up.

 

I don’t get unlocked unless I’m tied up. My wife locks me back up before I’m untied.
And I mean really tied where I can’t fight.

I don't have a choice.


The first day or few sucks, because I really don’t want that thing on me.

 

Locking butt plug goes up the arse before any shenanigans, and it comes out after the cage goes back ON.

See that, problem solved for the cost of a steak dinner.

 

There's actually some pretty in-depth science behind why this is, but to keep it simple, it's very common for us males (submissive or not) to feel like we want nothing to do with it almost immediately after an orgasm.

It can happen to the best of us. Have a release and then be repulsed at the idea of getting right back into it. After a few days, surprise, surprise... the urge to jump right back into it would come roaring back. Repeat this enough times, and you'll soon have an uninterested and frustrated KH.
But, luckily, it is not impossible to overcome. The best path forward for getting through this, IMHO, is to start with an open conversation with your partner.

For me, it was recognizing that I had problems dealing with sub drop and asking for her help. Madame J was kind enough to allow me to have a "cooling off period" a few times. It also helped to come to terms with the nature of enforced chastity play, in that it does not make me a submissive in and of itself, but instead it's more like gift given by my Mistress purely out of the kindness of her heart.

Some (myself included) may benefit from having tasks/assignments to be completed right away afterwards such that you get in the mindset of obeying her no matter what ("hey, go clean up and do the dishes. and when you're done, I want an amazing massage!").

Additionally, restraints can be implemented under the condition that they stay in place until the cage/device is back on. For example, I am required to wear a butt plug anytime I orgasm and it stays in after cumming until I'm re-caged (sometimes it's been overnight or a few hours, but it tends to work nicely either way). This has also worked well with being gagged or otherwise put into bondage. I've never lasted much longer than an hour with a large ball gag locked on before I'm in compliance.

Lastly, there is an effective "nuclear option" that a KH can try, and that is threatening to withhold chastity play for a set period of time (including forever...). It's extreme, but if your KH isn't having fun, then why bother?

Sorry for the long post, thanks to anyone who bothered to read all of this

- Madame J's boo

 

Depending on your cage style this might work for you. One of the easier ways for me to get locked back up right away is to not remove the base ring at all. She takes off the cage, but leaves the base ring on me, and we have our fun and I get my orgasm. As soon as we're done and I'm soft again the cage is put right back on. I know it's pretty basic, but it just seems to make it easier to be locked back up.

 

We may be doing this going forward... more so because the base ring is such a pain to take off when I get aroused. May as well just leave it on if I'm going to be immediately locked back up.

 

So you unlocked 2 x a week for cleaning and then you get unlocked and a release-
After all this you don’t want to get back in.

Seems your topping from bottom -
People would love to have wife /gf to be involved - and you may have blown out the spark and hard to get a second chance

 

To be honest the easiest remedy for this is no orgasms for you! . But lots more for your other half!

 

She should just give back your keys. Being relocked is the discipline . When YOU decide you want
real chastity you will ask to be locked after orgasm . If chastity was her idea she should withhold
ANY kind of sex until you submit .

 

As far as my wife is concerned chastity is 24/7 apart from an unlock once a week so she can clean me, and for use. But she recognises that locking back up after an orgasm is difficult but she insists on it. So she has made the re locking a pleasant experience and part of sex. She allows me half an hour after my orgasm for cuddles then she has me stand in the shower while she cleans me up with warm soapy water, all the time telling me what a good boy I’ve been and what a beautiful cock she owns and how happy my chastity makes her. Then I’m dried and told to lock up again, which I do every time almost in a kind of contented trance after her attention!! Then I have to show her and place the key back around her neck. Works every time!

 

At one time in a regular relationship I was locked up 24x7 but we had three nights of sex each week, and usually afterwards I was like "I'll put it back on at later/bedtime/in the morning" and of course then found other excuses. Her incredibly simple solution was that my waist or one of my ankles was chained to the frame of the bed with enough length that I could reach the basin to wash and the key left in another room so I had no choice but to put the belt back on.

If she was in the mood to go out but have more sex later she'd also demand I dress in female underwear, often strict, complicated and uncomfortable, before releasing me to make sure I was constantly reminded and 'recharged' for later.

 

Chastity applies the illusion taking sex away, but of course is about putting it in the forefront. It is the constant reminder of sex. Chastity portends to remove the possibility, yet becomes the constant tease. The truth is that the world and the universe, and likely even the girlfriend or wife, couldn't care less if, or how often a man masturbates. But the man wants the world to feel as if it's important. He becomes the focus. I'm a bad boy. Tame me.

The male drive to ejaculate is strong until mission accomplished, at which time normalcy returns and the man sees the world again. His priority shifts from his dick to anything else. He is satiated. Temporarily. During that lull, of course the attraction to lockup may wane, diminish. Interest fades. It comes back later, but he just got what he wanted. He doesn't need the stimulation, at least, not right away.

I submit that this is when he needs to be locked up the most.

I used to train to fight. A lot. It was axiomatic that the real training began when one had reached a point where exhaustion began to set in. At that point, it wasn't about technique or tactics. It was about knowing one's self, finding the depths, pushing past the limits. It was precisely the time when one didn't want to train, that training became most important. The same might be said of chastity. If it's anything more than simple titilation, if one has any thought to actual chastity rather than merely a fun way to celebrate the nerve endings in one's penis, between orgasms, then thought should be given to understanding that it's most important when it's least desired.

Likewise, if one truly desires submission and deferral to one's lady, then her direction is more important than ever, when he least wants it. That's when he needs it the most.

Men are aroused at the notion of being forced to clean up after ejaculation. Until they've ejaculated. Yet that's the time to put the mouth where the money is, so to speak. If you only do what you want, there's no discipline, no courage, no effort, no growth. No learning can take place. Move beyond the comfort zone, beyond gratification, beyond self.

If one is allowed release, and then tells the woman who has allowed it, "I'll resume compliance later, when I feel like it," one is sending a clear message. You don't care about it. Why should she? The message is that you'll play along until you get what you want, but having got it, you don't care about her. Just yourself. If you care about anything more than yourself, and if you have any thought to a future in chastity, then it must be on her time table, not yours, and whether you want to be locked up or not in those moments of anti-climax, then what you want isn't nearly as important as doing what you're told.

Remember Dick Marcinko's first commandment: "thou hast not to like it, thou hast only to do it."

 

That's a very good KH! Kudos to her.

 

Read your post, but didn’t read thru all of the responses.

I’m going to assume chastity was your idea, not hers. You say she is vanilla, has agreed to support lockup and may even like it.

But after she sets you free and allows you to orgasm, you refuse to follow her command and lock back up? Again, chastity WAS your idea.

Not to be rude, but the best advice I can give you is to man up and honor the commitment you made when you handed her your key. Sounds as though she is trying to do her part...do yours. If she says lock up...then submit and lock up. Otherwise she will loose interest and IT WILL set your relationship back. Your other option is to put it away.