How do I get my wife to commit more

Just let her go at her own pace. Don't try to push her otherwise she might get turned off the the whole thing and call it quits.

 

I would agree with crowe on this one. That's a solid piece of advice if I ever seen it.

 

Although I agree with the prior posts--it is definitely your wife-mistress's call (always)--you might suggest an element of randomness. My wife-mistress and I played Yahtzee to determine the next two week's "activities". Once I was down 7-0, I really tried *hard* to win, but I swear she was using loaded dice. Oh well.

Anyway, it worked out to 10 days with no hope of cum (this is day 6). And she teased the crap out of me last night. I was dripping pre-cum like saliva. And of course she got her orgasm... which, truthfully, made it all even hotter.

I'm a newbie still and riding the initial high, I'm sure. But even just a couple months ago I would not have believed that any sex-related "game" of any kind could be this hot. We're trying two weeks based on the recommendation of this book:

https://www.amazon.com/gp/product/B07HM6RGSZ/ref=kinw_myk_ro_title

But at this rate, I will be pushing for 24/7 and permanent.

 

P.S. Full disclosure: Wife-mistress had pity on me on day 4 and let me orgasm... but to my very great surprise I wish she hadn't. It is her call, but I made it clear that I can handle as much denial as she wants to enforce and she shouldn't feel guilty.

That may eventually turn into a "be careful what you wish for" thing, but at this point I'd rather err in that direction.

 

You need to remember, She is in the drivers seat, not you.

If She wants to see you Orgasm, She can. For She holds the key. She who holds the key makes the decisions.

Talk to your Keyholder about your desires, lay it all on the table and then back off and let her decide.

Since you are only at the staring line of this dynamic/lifestyle. Keep the lines of communication open between the 2 of you. Have a weekly check in day and discuss how everything is progressing.

Oh and one more thing... enjoy the ride!

Iso

 

Is your wife allowed an opinion on this or is it all about you?

 

My Wife(KH) and I are into our third year of MC. It was great for the first 2 years, but has slowed down now. I'm still wearing a cage and everything, but the tease sessions have become less. That said, when she does tease me now, it's a lot longer, more intense. She does things now that she would never do at first. Cropping my butt has become a favorite of hers. Harder and more. When we first started, she would allow me to cum after almost every session. I haven't cum now in over 100 days. She will bring me to the edge many times during a session(6-7 times) and never let me have a orgasm. I started begging my Wife not to make me cum and she had no problem with that. I hated the drop and she didn't like how long it took me to get back "in the mood". I would just play it out and see where it goes. We also talked a lot about likes and dislikes, which helped a lot. I also found different articles on line and sent them to her to read about MC and being a key holder...
. Good luck...

 

Communication and realistic expectations.

 

I would definitely let her lead for now. You can continue to let her know you'd like to go longer in between, but her decision really. Maybe you could suggest a longer lockup for your birthday or holiday. good luck and enjoy.

 

Be very happy that she is participating.

 

In my experience, let things play out naturally. At first I was a bit pushy as well, and that didn't work out too well. She said either we do it her way or no way. Eventually times got longer and longer between Os. Started out pretty much the same as you, first a week, then two weeks, then a month, and now up to four months plus. Just be patient and roll with it.

 

Oh shush you. Stop being so sensible. It's all about me me me me me, and me

 

Make her orgasm with your tongue and finger
Or dildo so often...
Someday i believe she will say "i think i dont need ur dick anymore, i enjoyed dildo an ur tongue so much, so lets lock ur dick permanently?"
Carefull...i already did that in a half.. but give up after 3 weeks locked non stop...

 

You just need to be patient and hope for the best outcome for the 2 of you. My wife liked the idea of male chastity and used it as a game and a way to spice up our sex life. One day she understood the power she held over me and it was no longer just a game but a way to control my cock. For those times when she wasn't interested in sex I would go rub one out. There were a few times I rubbed one out, she got interested and I couldn't perform. Now she controlled when I could cum and now I was always ready.

Remember, its up to her how fast and how far.

 

crowe is spot on here, dont force anything, just let it happen.

 

Females at first have to settle into the journey and negotiate this type of play into something organic and natural. You do have to understand chastity devices and belts were originally used and weaponized against women to control them, so she took a big step by trying it out and gaining comfort with it.

I might add that as being somewhat female myself, your user name saying "finally caged" and this post is somewhat indicative of an impatient nature with her regarding it. Be aware of this. You can (I too have done this) push them further from the goal of doing it with you more, if you push the wrong way.

Be patient. This takes time. She is trying and you have to be a supportive and communicative voice for her in that.

Second, you didn't mention much as far as an FLR goes, but if you haven't you should slowly introduce the concepts behind one to her. Our FLR agreement gives my Goddess a standing permission, but also a parameter for keeping the fun going safely. Chastity is only one part of the big picture, which is you wanting to give control and her learning to want to take it.

Also, and I usually mention this, outside of the bedroom, deepen your investment in her and the things she likes, and this becomes an easier deal for her.

Good luck.

 

My wife doesn't like it! She will hold the keys for me but gives me the keys whenever i want them. I need a KH or Mistress to take control over my chastity. I would enjoy if i could enjoy locktober under a strick Mistress!

 

I would offer the same advice. It’s about her and she shouldn’t think it’s all for you IMHO. It will happen

 

If I knew the answer to this question I would be a millionaire.

 

I'm still a noob, but I've had a fantastic first 3 - 4 weeks, so here are my two cents:

1. Don't ask for the keys. I'm sure my wife would let me out, too, if I asked. I don't put her in that position. Ultimately this is a voluntary compact, anyway! I've communicated to my wife-KH that I can enjoy as much denial as she can give out. But like your wife, she likes to see me cum and also feels bad if she does and I do not. Those are not bad things, and denial takes some time for a new KH to understand and appreciate.

When she gets me revved up and then says no, I've made it a point to say thank you in the moment, and comment later how that tease and denial stays with me for days. Positive reinforcement is a powerful thing.

Out-of-the-bedroom communication is critical, but do remember--and emphasize with her--that the point of the exercise is that she is in control. If she tells you to cum, you better cum!

2. Do NOT get or ask for another KH, Loktober or not... unless you talked about it with your KH and she enthusiastically agrees. Otherwise, if your wife is cut from the same cloth as mine, this will feel like you're cheating on her.

3. Be patient. Most of us who are running around in chastity spent a lot of time thinking and fantasizing about it beforehand. Our KHs didn't have that luxury; they need time to learn and adjust. Patience in this realm is difficult for me, too, so I get it.

Good luck. Above all, just focus on her needs. It's a good head space and the right one for someone in, uh, our position.

 

There is a physical way to do so and still deny you if she is willing. I don’t like using the word ruined because most I’ve seen were full on orgasms, I call them bleeding orgasms.

She takes you right to the edge, stops, and lets you spill. When done correctly, you stay hard, super horny, and she gets to watch cum. It’s about as horny as I’ve ever been, I actually begged to finish.

It’s an option

 

Solid advice here.. I think many of us were and are in this same predicament when starting chastity. I also tried to kind of push things along early on. Tried to get her to read FLR books, etc. It didn’t work and just made her feel weird and she said it made chastity feel like too much work/responsibility. So now I try to make it as little work as possible. Sometimes after she lets me cum, I’ll tell her that if she wants I could have gone longer. Nothing more than that, just letting her know that I wouldn’t mind longer lockups and that she shouldn’t feel guilty for her getting an orgasm when I don’t.

I feel like I’m making progress, albeit slow, but measurable. She went out of town for 5 days and I asked if she was going to keep me locked and it was like she hadn’t considered that she’d even bother to unlock me.