I know you think you are, but you're wrong. Self locking implies your penis is your property. It isn't. Your penis belongs to someone. Maybe you haven't met her or maybe she doesn't know yet, but you will and she will. Your job is to keep your penis safe and in good working order until she acknowledges her ownership of it. You do NOT have permission to play with it. You've naively played with it thousands of times despite not having permission and hopefully she'll forgive you for that, but now that you've realized it isn't yours, playing with it would be selfish and that she won't forgive. Unlock as needed to keep clean, but otherwise keep your hands off of HER property. With the time and energy you're saving by not stealing from her, you need to be going out and trying to find her or helping her understand. She won't just one day walk up to you and demand you give her what is hers by right. You need to make it happen or it won't and you'll have deprived her of what's hers through your laziness or fear.
A nice way of looking at it Unlucky. It is sometimes difficult to have the discipline to lock up again after any kind of break when you don’t have a KH. I’ll mull on this a little more. Thanks for posting.
Think I understood the concept, but still the first thing coming to my mind was: "Hope my Kidneys don't belong to someone else as well!
I had to think carefully about how to answer this question. In short: not well! The challenges for me centre around the need for some kind of human interaction, and therefore intimacy. I find that after a week or so locked up I become insanely horny. And everything becomes about teasing myself, getting some form of pleasure (albeit without proper orgasm), and fantasising about other fetishes and kinks. At the expense of everything else: work, social life, family etc. Work is particularly acute as I just become unprofessional. I think that the human link and intimacy would help provide a focus to mitigate this. It eventually gets to the point where I am able to elicit some form of orgasm/ release and I recognise the need for a clear head. So I end up unlocking. Again, I think that human anchor would help. And obviously I simply wouldn’t have any choice! While I like @unlucky’s point in the original post, a theoretical future Mistress isn’t enough for me. Thank you for asking! I’d welcome any advice or comment from those with more experience.
Lol, very good. I think the distinction is that the penis is, as well as being an ugly appendage, symbolic of something else. It's the sexual exchange, and the power over sexual thoughts and stimulation. Sexuality is a powerful primal urge in humans, and granting control of it to another person is a significant statement of devotion. Anyone can have my kidneys as well if they want. I expect my liver might not be such an attractive option...
Yes, from my own personal experience, I believe a physical partner is more effective for chastity. There is too much room for unlockng, and denying yourself the gift of an orgasm from your Mistress, or her denial of it. With her there, the feeling of not being able to cheat and unlock, is that much more intense, and prolongs the bond.
Now, say you were together physically and for some reason you had to live a long distance, chastity becomes a necessary tool for the absent Mistress. She will want you locked up for her pleasure, and that should not be a hard thing to deal with for the sub, He should still stay locked up for her, because the cock belongs to HER, and not him to play with at his whim. He cheats not only himself, but her.
While I agree with your logic me self locking doesn’t imply it’s my property. I’m just the caretaker keeping everything in good order
I completely agree Mistress Belle. I am more than willing to be locked up & controlled like that. I am actively looking at options for a Keyholder. It’s a very exciting prospect, but it has to be right. Thank you for all of your comments! It’s confirmed some of my thoughts.
Your masturbation and self-release is making you a solosexual. As @Unlucky said, your job is to keep it safe until she assumes ownership of it. You know that in addition to being a masturbator you are also submissive, and so you know someday she will assume ownership. You might prepare for that day by getting your PA piercing and going through the healing process now, so that you will be ready for her.
@Rectix is right... getting a PA done now makes perfect sense. PA Ampallang frenulum being the ones usually utilised for chastity security Much more secure forms of lock-up are possible with a piercing..some say its the only sure and safe way. I totally agree with them but I'm not going to be getting into the insertables argument as my resolve on that is very firm.
I don’t understand all of this talk about escape proof devices. Why would anyone want to escape. I can understand how there’s a big difference between being self locked and handing total control over to a KH. I’ve set up certain goals for myself and would only be cheating myself if I gave in. However, hoping to have a KH I wouldn’t want to do anything to jeopardize that
What a good concept. Men's penises no longer belong to them. They can't be trusted with them. So they've been taken from us.
Thank you @Rectrix and @filltee. I’m not sure I’m interested in a PA - it feels like a red line to me from a personal perspective, and certainly would be too risky from a professional perspective. I’m afraid that the “keeping it safe” argument doesn’t quite cut it for me. Furthermore, the initial distraction & overwhelming sexualisation of being locked needs a human anchor to mitigate damage to the rest of day-to-day life & work. Hence self-locking, or locking-in-anticipation if you prefer, doesn’t really work for any length of time. Thank you very much for responding though.
Hey, look, if you're saying that self-locking is just a sex game to get you jazzed up before you masturbate, well, that's cool. But you're missing the power of the cage to change your life and you a better man for your life partner.
I don’t think I’m saying that at all. Yes, I find chastity erotic and arousing. And the longer I am locked up the more acute this becomes. But a 2-dimensional idea of what a theoretical future Mistress or KH might like or want is not sufficient to either control my sexual urges or control/ channel the pent up sexual energy. I don’t believe that there is one model of chastity/KH relationship that fits all. What interests me in pursuing such a relationship is the detail of what exactly my KH likes and gains from me being in chastity. The human anchor I refer to only works because of the complexities, contradictions and particulars of that anchor being a real-life person. I don’t need a cage to be a good man to and for my life partner. What I’m looking for is a relationship where chastity is of mutual interest, benefit and excitement. Hopefully that makes some sense.