Shibmo's story

Last night, we again had an amazing development.

I had decided to not give her the key-box just jet. Instead I just put the keys from the top of my nightstand, to hers.
Also I had been cleaning the house, repairing some things. You know, the works.

In the meantime at work, I had a couple of pretty tough days. I had a bit of a conflict with upper management, regarding unsafe practices. It was (and still is) a pretty big problem.
During the days I texted my wife a couple times, expressing my concerns and worries. It's a big thing. Something that could potentially cost me my job somewhere down the line. I wrote an extensive mail to the ceo expressing my concerns.
I asked my wife is she would want to read it, because it is a big thing for me and gets under my skin. She agreed to make time later that night, when the kids where asleep.

Last week we have developed a bit of a new habit. She likes to get her shoulders massaged, and I like to please her. So she sits down on the couch, and I sit behind her, on the back-rest, so I can massage her shoulders. We've done this like 4-5 times last week. Nice and intimate, not really sexual.
So I asked her to sit down, and read the mail to the ceo, while I was rubbing her neck.
We talked quite a bit about it. About my worries, that I felt that I needed to adress this. I just wont be able to live with myself If anyone would get hurt (or die!) on the job.
Happily she understood my arguments, and agreed the project needs to be stopped. It was really nice talking to her.

Somehow the subject changed. I said something like:
"I needed you to know this, so you understand if I'm grumpy, or worried, and just not feeling well. Altough.. actually... Last week I'm feeling pretty good".
She said she noticed. That I was being nice, that I was having more patience with the kids, that she liked my uptick in the household chores.
"You also cleaned our bedroom, didn't you?"
"Yeah, you notice any changes?"
- Evasive answer 1 -
- Evasive response 1 -
- Evasive answer 2 -
- Evasive response 2 -
"And I also put the keys on your nightstand, you must have seen."

And so the subject changed to my chastity. I told her a LOT. Way more than I would have imagined. I felt so very at ease, and she responded so very neutral/accepting. It was great.
At first I was a bit nervous to touch the subject, but then I felt like a waterfall of words.

I told her that I didn't want to masturbate, and that it makes me feel bad.
I told her that I had been doing some online research.
I told her that there is this hormonal cycle, prompting men to masturbate every 3-6 days. And that the cage helps me break that cycle.
I told her that I feel great, and energetic, and feel like doing things.
I told her that I love that I truely feel like there is no pressure to have sex, at all. That it gives so much more room for "normal" intimacy.
I told her that I would still like to have sex with her, but only if she really wants it. That that is the reason why I want her to manage the keys.
I told her that when she googles "chastity" or similar words, that there is a lot of porn, and sexshops, and horrible images. And that I don't want that. I just want to control my hormones, and want her to have the initiative on sex. The rest of it is fantasy.
I told her that if she wants to know how any of this works, she may just ask.
I told her that I don't plan on taking the cage of anytime soon, as I really like how I feel right now.

She acknowleged a lot. She accepted (almost) everything. She had really noticed that I have been acting different, more "chill".
She started telling about her own initiative in trying to be better. She told about some influencer she has been following, that has a theory about cutting down on refined sugars. She told that she had been trying it, and that she felt it was improving her mood, and the mood of the kids. I said that I would fully support that, but that she had to teach me how. She told she had some uncertainties about her body, since her last pregnancy. I assured her that I love her body as it is, but that if she wants to lose some weight, I would support her.

We talked for more than an hour, until it started to get dark outside.
It was a really nice, deep conversation. Maybe better than we have ever had as a couple.



Somewhere in the conversation she mentioned the kids, playing with my keys again. And that it would be a shame if they got lost...
Guess I'll try and look for a moment to give her the box, so she can keep it in her nightstand.


I'm also looking for some resources to give to her to read. I'm having trouble finding some good articles that get into the vanilla / hormones / intimacy part. Problem is that most sources are in English, and that is not her strong point. So I would like something in Dutch. But I can't find anything good. Just Sexshops trying to sell, or SM-mistresses talking about slaves and sissy's.
Maybe you guys have some ideas / sources?

This is what I have found so far (might be readable for her with auto-translate on Iphone):
Bit short and shallow: https://www.chartattack.com/male-chastity-improve-relationship/
Ok, but from a single blogger-standpoint: https://cuttothechaste.net/chastity-and-sexual-desire-in-women-and-men/
Extensive but written as a fan-fiction / fantasy: https://happy-marriage.neocities.org/

 

I still haven't given her the box. It's sitting in my nightstand as a nice gift, might the occasion arise.
My intention is to suggest to use it without the padlock, unless she wants to. I do like the look of the padlock-keys better. Also those are more discrete to wear on her person.

But anyway, tonight I noticed that the keys are no longer ON her nightstand, but IN her nightstand. Probably just slid it in to keep it out of reach of the kids this morning. But she did keep it in HER nightstand.

I did actually find some blog posts that I really liked. I've send them to her this evening. She has a tight workschedule the next few days, so I asked her to read it, but to take her time. Next week, or the week thereafter is also good. I send them right away, as I thought she might actually be curious, so she can read when she wants.

Its these blogposts from cuttothechaste
It is 3 parts, written in order. I like them because it is very vanilla-friendly. It is just about chastity, with only very slighly referencing other kinks.
(and also stays readable when auto-translated to dutch)

https://cuttothechaste.net/your-husband-wants-chastity/
https://cuttothechaste.net/benefits-women-can-expect-from-male-chastity/
https://cuttothechaste.net/the-care-and-feeding-of-the-male-in-chastity/

 

Well, it is up to her now. I plan to keep my head down, and give her the time to make the next move.
We’ll see if it works out.

 

A couple of days, a couple of developments I would like to share.
Not all in chronological order:

- I'm still locked. 16 days, and counting..

- I'm starting to get pretty sexually frustrated. Feelings and emotions going in circles

- I gave her the key-box. It didn't quite go as planned. By some weird nudge of fate, she did look around in my nightstand searching for something when I was at work. Something she might not have done for a couple of years. She saw my collecion of buttplugs, and... the box.
Later that night we had a little talk. I briefly brushed past the toys, saying those "didn't need much explanation" and I gave her the box, as she probably had seen it anyways. She thought it was a bit silly and over-the-top, but she accepted. Now the keys are in her nightstand, in the box, and haven't moved since.

- I've had one nocturnal emission. I notified and apologised to her by text. She didn't respond to it.

- I'm starting to crave some "special attention" or teasing. Haven't talked about that yet.

- We've started a bit of a routine, where I rub her shoulders or feet, while we are relaxing on the couch in the evening. At first the initiative came from me. Last night, she put her feet in my lap, expecting. Of course I did as best as I could.

- We have been going to bed at the sime time for the majority of nights. That hasn't happened so frequently in a long time.

- She has expressed how nice it is, that the house is in good order. That she likes my current effort I put into it.

- I can't seem to stop cuddling her. I can't seem to stop saying how much I love her.

- Last night she told me she was grumpy/not in the mood because her period is about to start. Guess that is at least a week more of staying locked...

- She has expressed that sometimes, I'm to much in her personal space. I've asked her to tell me clearly, preferably before she gets annoyed by it. Last night in bed, she said "No". It was so very easy to accept her answer without hard feelings. A couple of weeks ago I would have gotten annoyed and would have felt rejected.

 

Thanks. Always nice to have some confirmation that we are on the right path...

 

Hey Fons, Goedemorgen.
I have tried a month with the "honor system" about a year ago. She wasn't invested at all. It probably doesn't help that she can easily go a month without having a need to have sex...

Thanks for the tips. Will follow up on those.
Thanking her for a "no" will probably trigger some submissive feelings for me. I wonder how she would respond to that.

Yesterday we had another fun conversation. It shows to me that we are opening up a bit more.
Her period started, and she was feeling pretty bad. I asked her about it, if there was anything I could do to help her, if there was anything we could do to make it less bad.
We started talking about anticonception. A pretty sensative subject, moreso because we both know that she would like to have another kid, and that I am happy with the 2 we have. She know I would like to have a vasectomy, she doesn't want me to... yet... Right now she isn't on anticonception, and the few times a year we have sex, we use a condom.
Anyway, the talk went back and forth, and I told her I would love to feel to be inside her again, and feel her, without a condom. I did tell her that in "my current situation" I wouldn't last long tough.
She showed me her cycle monitor, and suggested that there would be a couple days next week, where we could actually try that.

I don't expect much, but it was a nice conversation, showing we are starting to talk better about sex.

 

22 days locked, 25 days since last full orgasm.

So… much… sexual frustration…

Last night I had a bit of a special one. I was having an amazing sexual dream, where my wife was giving me a footjob on my cage. I felt the orgasm building, and right at the peak… I woke up.

I felt my underwear, but there was no discharge. Somehow I managed to edge/ruin myself while sleeping!
I couldn’t really sleep anymore, and snuggled up to my wife.

She got up early, to get to work. When she left the bed I had a hard time controlling my urges. I left the bed when I caught myself humping the sheets.

I got downstairs, just in time to kiss her goodbye, and thank her for the sweet cuddles during the night.



I’ve got so much tension in my groin right now. I wanted to wait for her to make the next “move”, but is is getting so very hard. I just want to cum so bad. Maybe tonight I’ll ask her if she wants to unlock me. Maybe I…. Maybe I just need to know how she feels about my lockup.. maybe I should wait until next week, when she suggested we could maybe possibly have sex..
I don’t know…

 

She expressed that I was being too clingy. I asked her to be clear to me when she needs me to back off.

She actually did, right before we went to bed. So I backed off, gave her some alone time in the shower. When I got to bed, I thanked her for being clear.

Still locked, still wanting. But if I want to take this serious, I have to respect her wishes.

Good night!

 

I’ve considered that one, but I think it leans a bit to much to the fantasy side. I’ve sent her the beginner guide from cuttothechaste, but I don’t think she has read it.

I think my current streak might come to an end.
This morning I got out of bed early, getting a confused look from her when I got downstairs while she was getting ready to go to her early shift.
I confessed that I didn’t trust myself alone and horny in our bed. That I didn’t want to masturbate, so just got up.

She is clearly confused by this. Might be better to call it, and try again later.
Maybe for Locktober.

I’ll try and talk with her tonight.

 

Well, another update from me.

Last time I posted, I already said my lockup would come to an end, and it did. The 8th of October. Exactly 4 weeks locked.

I don’t really remember the exact conversation, but she had said something along the lines of: “If you ever think I’m going to say that you have to take your cage off, I won’t”
She made clear she didn’t really wanted to have any responsibility in that regard.

So, I threw the cage back into its drawer, and left it there. Gradually we lapsed back in our old routine. We agreed we would try to have intimacy once a week, schedule it at Sunday night. We tried once, I think, and then that agreement got forgotten as well.
No real blame about that, we were both busy. Kid got sick (hospitalized-sick), I got sick a week later, and that took me out for about 2 weeks.

Anyway, the reason I’m writing this, is because the chastity-journey has picked up again, for a little bit.

Sunday and Monday night she rejected me, even though she had hinted she might be up for some intimacy. Last night she went to bed early, being clear she wanted to sleep, and nothing else.
I was frustrated, considering if I wanted to jerk off to release the tension. I eventually decided to lock myself again. This morning I left one of the keys on her nightstand.

The morning was busy, getting the kids up to speed, getting to work etc. So I send her a text that I didn’t know how to handle my frustration, and had locked myself again. I didn’t want to be humping her in bed, as that would only make things worse. That I think the cage helps me control my urges. I told her I had left her a key, that I would always be available for her. And that I have another for hygiene and sports purposes. I told her I felt like a coward by sending a text instead of just telling her.

Her reaction was interesting. Freely translated something like:
“Yeah, I found a key… Your right, lately it isn’t working, and you are being grumpy a lot and overstimulated. I hope it works”

“Yeah, I hope it works too.”


The journey continues…

 

7 days locked, 12 days since last full orgasm.

Last few days have been busy with the upcoming holiday (Sinterklaas). However, we have seem to have reached a situation where she accepts the cage, but doesn't really want to have anything to do with it.

I know I have been more productive around the house, and been more attentive to her. I'm pretty sure she noticed as well. It is a bit of a weird dynamic, where she knows I am a better version of myself while being locked, but she doesn't want to engage in it.
We didn't talk about the cage, untill last night.

She said she was going to go take a shower and go to bed. I told her I would take the dog for a walk, and then join her.
Just as I was entering the bathroom, she was leaving the shower. We made a bit of small talk, about me wanting to join her in the shower and she jokingly said I was just a tidbit to late.
I undressed and tried to act as normal as possible. I felt her eyes land on the cage, but we both didn't say a thing as I popped in the shower.

When I walked into the bedroom, naked, I couldn't help myself but make a remark. I asked her if she would like me to show it, so she could have a proper look. Or if she would rather have me put on my underwear.
"just put on your underwear".
So we just cuddled a bit and went to sleep.

During the night I had a had a spontaneous release.

In the morning I said to her I needed a shower again.
"Again?"
"Yeah I had a... Spontanious... So I need to get it cleaned properly"
"Ah, right... But you can still bring me a coffee before, right?"

This whole dynamic is confusing me. She does... sort of... accept me wearing the cage.
But she isn't curious about it, doesn't want to touch it or look at it. But doesn't make any fuss about it when she "casually" sees me wearing it.