Sex drive - part 2

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by L-u-c-y, Sep 21, 2018.

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  1. L-u-c-y
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    Staff Member Owner of Chastity Mansion Administrator Verified Female

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  2. tegelad
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    tegelad Class and sophistication in all things

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    For me personally no, my drive is based purely on hormones and then for quite a few years was based on trying to bolster my masculinity given the trauma I had in life. Once I dealt with it 100%, the urges were still there. I am now using those strong sexual urges (along with any latent rage I have e.g. the US Supreme Court stuff) to push exercise and push my limits and try to burn off the sexual energy there.

    Women require more love, safety, and trust and in reality to feel attached need sexual intimacy at twice the level of men due to receptors in their brain (see below).

    The dirty little secret is once a woman has the love, safety, and trust with her partner (or herself), the orgasms and the pleasures and capability far exceed men. Why? IMO it has to do with the fact women have the ability to have children and have more capacity to deal with pain (and conversely pleasure).

    As for interest in Chastity .... for me (other's differ) I want to be able to show my partner how much I care for them. I am not 100% submissive, and am very comfortable with being an alpha.

    So if I am with an alpha/lead women, to me it is to show that if she desires the extra knowledge that I am "all-in" for her ... I am game. A friend of mine (a high femme pansexual who interacts with quite a few diverse people) ... called it a saintly sadism bent. Where I take pleasure in showing how deep my love is for my partner in "taking it". So to me sex is not a required thing, but service is.

    Other people have other views and my maybe unique.

    https://www.thehealthloft.ca/why-women-need-twice-as-much-sex-as-men/
     
  3. Bratty Boi Chastened
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    Bratty Boi Chastened Psychologically getting off by NOT getting off!

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    The short answer is yes (high sex drive) and yes (one of the masochistic reasons for wanting enforced chastity).
     
  4. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Active member

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    I was one of the "lows". For me it's all about the submission
     
  5. Joey love
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    Joey love Active member

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    I think for me it’s more about being more attentive to her needs
     
  6. bondinchas
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    bondinchas Active member

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    yes, high sex drive... being confined in chastity makes it higher, the continual reminding of what you cannot have keeps the libido high, without chastity you'd get distracted by 'normal life' for much longer periods.
    but it's not just that simple, it's also about the submission and mismatch of sex drives, turning the mismatch into a pleasurable dynamic.
     
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  7. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    Yet another interesting thread nicely expanded upon.
     
  8. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    For me at least, it wasn’t turning denial into a game, it was trying to keep my desires from making her feel obligated to go through with them. It can lead to resentment, on both sides. Plus I have found a lot of females would like to be intimate and sexual, but don’t want to even start because they feel pressured or guilty that it had to lead to all out sex.

    I don’t mind making out and then quitting and watching a movie. Back rubs that only lead to a thankyou, and playful flirting that doesn’t end with sex at all, just letting the other person know how much you want them.

    And when they do decide that the cage comes off, it isn’t because you have a back rub, made out, or flirted with them. It wasn’t because they think they owe you, or that it’s been awhile and they probably should just get it over with. It comes off for one reason and one reason only...she wants it off. Maybe it is to make me feel good, maybe it’s to make her feel good, what ever the reason, it’s all because it’s what she wants.

    I think some try to make being in a sexless marriage, a kink. If it got to the point you are in a sexless marriage, unless there is a physical issue, communication and trust are gone, and no where for this to start
     
  9. nrbill
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    nrbill Active member

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    Once upon a time way back when I was in my mid-20's, I read someplace that I fell into a group called "high activity males." I was even capable of multiple cums, having the 2d one within about 10 seconds after the first one, and last time that happened was about 10 years ago. Over the years, I've gone from at least twice a day(or about 700 times a year) to 6 times a year now.

    I always wanted to be sexually controlled by a dominant woman, going all the way back to when I was about 12 or 13. When I first found out about chastity devices, I couldn't wait to be locked up in one. Eventually, I got my wish and was locked. I would've rather been locked at the age of 13, because I wanted it badly. It never had anything to do with my partner's libido at all, and still doesn't.
     
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  10. Fatkid57626
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    Fatkid57626 Unquestionably devoted

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    Yes, my drive is higher than hers, but I would not classify myself as "high". For me it was spurred on because, as I have explained on other threads, I was having trouble dealing with getting shot down when I did ask for sex. So I surrendered myself to her to control that aspect of my life.
     
  11. GreasyHam
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    GreasyHam New member

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    In short, yes.

    I’d say I’m bordering hypersexual but my
    Habits have never caused issues with work or my personal life. I would touch myself to relieve stress or before bed/ before getting out of bed.

    I feel that I’m more productive and I get more out of the day when I’m locked since there’s no point in watching porn. I get pleasure from pleasing her sexually and non sexually and I’d rather ride the wave of arousal than touch myself and have to deal with a refractory period.

    We communicate well and often and sex each other when our schedules allow. And chastity made myself aware that the journey can be more fun than the destination. ❤️
     
  12. El Guapo
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    El Guapo Ladies First.

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    What came first - the chicken or the egg?

    Actually, I am on the honor system more than locked - but similar condition.
    I don't believe the reason I enjoy denial is because of a higher than average sex drive.
    I could argue that my sex drive is elevated in large part because of the denial.
    And while I find other ways to expend the energy, my hormone levels build.


    Mine is higher.
    But, I don't think it would have mattered how that question was answered.

    For me it started out as a kink but by the time I came out the other side of my 'conditioning', I was different. My being denied wasn't about me or what I wanted - so 'i might as well make it a fetish' didn't apply.

    Don't get me wrong ... I love the denial - so it did become something I wanted ... but it wasn't me who set those desires in motion.

    Through my journey into FLR, I developed a new appreciation for manners, and obedience, and selfishness. I became a more thoughtful, less self-centered person.


    And, by the way ... the rooster came first.
     
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  13. Charleston
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    Charleston Member

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    I wouldn’t say I had a low sex drive the desire was there but I was usually too tired in the afternoon to initiate and that developed into a sexual rut so to speak. We started to spice things up really, and it worked as I have a very high sex drive now. High enough that she goes to bed satisfied.
     
  14. Locked in love
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    For us, it's increased both of our sex drives. It was good prior to discovering chastity but it's really changed afterwards. It wasn't instant. For me, I had to get used to the satisfaction of being frustrated, teased and edged. For her, I think it took her awhile to internalize the idea that I loved it when she was completely selfish. Once she realized it and knew that there would be no reprisals, she became more free and confident and her drive increased dramatically. We are both really happy and I don't think we'll ever go back.
     
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  15. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Member

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    Yes and no. Yes, I have a higher sex drive than my wife, and my keyholder. Both are what is often referred to as demi-sexual. Yes, masturbating on my own was an empty experience, and I didn't want my kink partner relationships to be based on sex, especially PIV sex. Now, having said that, the reasons are many, and a few are complex. One of the essentials though, for us, is that I have been super lucky in having a great marriage, and I've been able to explore kink with kink partners over the years. There's 2 other aspects. One is that for us, things are better when intimacy and physical attention are when the woman wants it, how the woman wants it, and to not worry about anything but being pleasured by a chaste/locked guy. That's what works for us. The rest is just us working towards training away from being penis driven, and to be happy chaste. Much of that has been going on for close to 20 years, with removing the need for male orgasm from sex. Chastity is just the evolution of that really.
     
  16. Fireman Sam
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    Fireman Sam New member

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    Short:
    Much higher sex-drive than my wife. Turned out she stopped touching and teasing me because she thought these things for me should lead to PIV.
    Found the chastity thing as a solution because it fullfills my and her needs at the same time. However she often is not aware that I need attention/teasing on a regular basis in order to maintain my motivation.
     
  17. mlcf
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    mlcf Obedient

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    I do have a lot more than my wife. That´s one of the reasons she loves it... I use to play alone a lot... So when she wants her toy wasn´t ready... But that comes with a side effect... If I do not cum is my problem and it can take up to a month to me to go out again...
     
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