Post-orgasm rewiring

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Tom Allen, Apr 17, 2019.

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  1. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    I don't know about most of you guys, but after a month or so, I'm aroused enough to come in the cage, especially during sex. Mrs. Edge likes to feel my cage bum,ping her ass, which in turn, stimulates something inside me. This can lead to some "overspill," to a ruined orgasm, to (rarely) something that feels almost as good as an uncaged orgasm.

    Anyhow, like a lot of you, immediately after this happens, my brain starts telling me "You know, you've got a cage on your junk. That's pretty stupid, you should get rid of that." I recognize it as the same process that makes some things that seem like a great idea during sex seem pretty stupid after coming; suddenly that really hot thing looks stupid or disgusting. Naturally, I'm fine the next morning, and usually think "Wow, that was pretty hot after all," but still, those first few minutes after coming just kill the mood.

    But at some point a little before we hit the one year mark, I noticed that I didn't get that feeling after a spill. That is, I felt things leaking or spilling over during sex, but I didn't have the usual "OMG, this is stupid, why am I wearing this?" moment. I chalked it up to not having had any release in a long time.

    But a few weeks later, Mrs Edge, realizing that it had been months since I had any major release, encouraged a pretty powerful caged orgasm. And again, I did not get that "WTF is my junk doing in this device?" feeling. I mentioned this to her, but again, chalked it up to not having had a satisfying release in a long time.

    But the other day, I again had a little spillage (from whispering naughty things in her ear), and again, I did not have the "Why would I ever agree to be locked up?" feeling. I told Mrs Edge, who just suggested that I must have changed or adapted so much to being locked up, that it's my new "normal;" that is, after more than a year, my body (or my brain) has just given in and accepted that my only orgasms will be in the cage, and has stopped feeling weird about it. After thinking about it for a little while, I'm inclined to agree. My brain has been rewired to enjoy a caged orgasm as if it were a regular, uncaged one.

    Not sure how I feel about this yet, though. [​IMG]
     
  2. Lazlo Toth
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    Lazlo Toth C/D on the TomAllen-Rectrix scale: 4/9

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    I think you may be on to something Tom. The human brain is incredibly adaptable. Perhaps your syub-conscious now knows precisely what your wife suggests is, in fact, true.
     
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  3. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    Maybe so, but if you were to take the cage off, it probably wouldn't take long to go back to the 'old' way.

    If I could hazard a guess in my unscientific way, I would suggest that my own experiences have shown me that an orgasm is a different thing from ejaculation. They are separate sensations, but most guys don't notice this because once an orgasm is imminent, the goal is to get there at all costs. They blend together into a seamless whole. I think guys who never experience the two events as different are missing out on something unique.

    But, while the popular idea of a 'ruined' orgasm is painful or unfulfilling, I think in the real world it's not that bad at all. Often it can be nearly as rewarding as a regular orgasm. But an orgasm uncoupled from ejaculation is a step (or more) above that, and can give sensations that we might typically associate with female orgasms. The key is that I don't think much of that occurs in a cage. The physical stimulation of a vagina, hand, mouth or anus is designed by evolution to make sex very enjoyable, in order to keep procreation levels as high as possible (sneaky little DNA molecules!). A cage is relatively new compared to millions of years of that and simply can't provide the same level of tactile feedback required.

    So without this 'deep' orgasm (as opposed to an ejaculatory one), the body's feedback mechanisms don't kick in and cause the hormonal drop we associate with post-orgasmic response. This in turn leads many men to feel little or no loss of arousal after a ruined orgasm or just ejaculation. That's my theory, anyway.
     
  4. Tom Allen
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    Tom Allen Member

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    That's a pretty good take on this.

    For a few years, Mrs Edge was ruining pretty much every orgasm, but I very rarely did not have some drop. That is, I almost always had loss of arousal, or rather, what I call the "Dammit, this is stupid, why did I want that?" feeling.

    That's what makes this new development so interesting for me - not having that feeling suggests that something (at this point, I'm not quite sure what) has been, as you say, uncoupled.
     
  5. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    I've suggested for many years that men who are interested in chastity may have more experience with delving into the subtle nuances of what constitutes an orgasm. Our focus is not just on a quick bang or wank; rather an almost tantric interest in exploring the various elements, like a wine connoisseur can separate the different blends of flavour in a glass, as opposed to guys propped up on barstools most Friday nights.
     
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  6. Dr MBogo
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    Dr MBogo You heard the lady! In you go.....

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    I think the answer to this is that an ejaculation may or may not involve a true orgasm. I've always felt that what most guys here describe as a "ruined" orgasm is really just an ejaculation. Semen is released without the euphoric feeling associated with orgasm. The result being that the individual doesn't really feel satisfied, and is also reminded that they are not in control of their sexual activity-a feeling that is very important to the whole chastity experience.

    For me, a true orgasm leaves me feeling down for a day or two or three afterward because I don't desire it as much as I did before and therefore am not under her control as much. If I ejaculate spontaneously, (from anal stimulation, say) it feels very different-I still have that submissive feeling that we all crave. As a result, the less often I have an actual orgasm, the more fun it is, in a weird way.
     
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  7. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Active member

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    I think it's evolution you know! Well, within your relationship it is! :).
     
  8. Mash2214
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    Mash2214 Locked today, tomorrow, forever

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    @Tom Allen your post reminded me of something that happened a couple years ago

    During the night I had a deep desire to make love to my wife I got in position between her legs and attempted to penetrate her. I was having difficulty getting my hard cock into her when I reached down to assist myself and noticed that I was locked in my cage. I had completely forgot I was locked and was acting primarily on instinct. She thought it was one of the nicest things I could have done.
     
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  9. Tom Allen
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    As it happens, I've dabbled in tantra, Taoism, and grape juice tasting so I think I get your meaning.

    I've noticed for some time that when I'm in for a long term denial, I manage to derive some satisfaction from pleasing Mrs Edge, to the extent that I'm not feeling frustrated, but rather, calm and satisfied.
     
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  10. Tallestrina
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    Fascinating thread, thanks for sharing Tom! Gives me an idea what I have to look forward to. I'm also guessing that you are seeing brain plasticity in action here, and if it makes you guys happy, good luck to you!

    To me this is one of the best ways of doing "chastity play"- and a quick survey of this site shows that it is a lot of different things for different people.

    Bilus mentioned that someone in your state could probably soon go back to "Normal" if uncaged- that maps onto my experience. I wonder how long it would take to switch back again? Could one learn to be one thing, then the other, depending on the season or relationship dynamics?
     
  11. Finn-egan
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    I can relate pretty well. I have come close to cumming during sex (me wearing the strap-on) but not managed to get that far. For decades, sex was focusing on my wifes orgasm, then sharing that orgasm, with me pulling out when she was done. Very often, my parts would react like I had cum (which I had not) and I'd have no need for an orgasm. Eventually, I stopped relating PIV sex to my own orgasm. Doing the strap-on method, I also seem to often react similarly, and my caged erection goes soft. Once I've gone 2 months or more without relief...I do get pretty close to cumming during strap-on sex. The pressure on the locked parts being almost enough to go over the edge...but not quite, and I'm done when she is.

    I've reached the point myself where cumming doesn't seem to produce the very familiar..."WTF am I doing locking up my junk?" reaction immediately after. Like you, all my ejaculations are while locked...at least the past 8 months or so anyhow. Somehow, arousal while locked is the normal way for me to be aroused. It's been 7 months since I was erect and unlocked. The same goes for ejaculation/orgasm. Sometimes I use an e-stim device to help...and sometimes it's just rubbing the base of my locked parts furiously till it goes off. I'm not allowed to have anything handy to clean up, because both my wife and keyholder dislike cum, and prefer it to be gross and messy for me to deal with.

    I realized, much like you, that I'd hit some point where to me.....my genitals are exactly how they are every day......Locked and restricted by a small cage. It's not my old, 7" dick locked up instead of free. There is no 7" dick to wave about. That's the past. There's only a pair of balls, a heavy stainless ring, and a metal cap that keeps my "genitals" up inside for the most part. Once that became what was normal, then there was no longer any fuss over being locked after I've ejaculated. My "cock" is the strap-on, and what's between my legs is normal to me, in its locked condition. I have a penis for peeing/cleaning, and a removable cock for sex, that works in conjunction with the swollen pubic mound, which is what occurs when I'm aroused.

    I remember confessing to my keyholder that as far as I could tell.....being denied any unlocked erections was going to break my old habits if we kept at it. That seems to be what did it in the end, in conjunction with finding a cage that I can forget that I'm wearing, and is strealty under all clothes.
     
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  12. keyheld
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    A great piece by Tom once again.

    For me I find the release frustrating and wish I didn’t get them at all. It feels a bit like cheating and breaks that magical spell of excitement and anticipation before that once again grows over the next few days to weeks
     
  13. sissy_christine
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    sissy_christine Active member

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    Its funny how we start to change after wearing the cage and or thinking changes your right.
     
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  14. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    Awhile back before our schedule changed, and before we got a new puppy, we had a routine that either every night or the next morning I would go down on her. After awhile I had noticed that sometimes when she came, I would physically go into refractory as if I had as well.

    It wouldn’t have all the physical signs of an orgasm, no ejaculate or feeling of “oh god”, but I would calm down, breathing would slow, and whatever plumpness in the cage I had would subside.

    It is odd, and sometimes perplexing. The chemical reactions physically, combined with Pavlovian response to her, confuses your brain and your body. I noticed it happened a lot more when we fooled around more frequently, it seemed to click that I was done when she was.
     
  15. Finn-egan
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    It's something often called Karezza. We have practised a version of it for decades. I find that when you are totally focused on the pleasure you are giving, and have no focus on your own pleasure, and the other persons orgasm is the goal, that you can achieve this. Eventually, I get to a point where I feel like we are trying to achieve "the orgasm"...if that makes sense. You're not just getting someone off, but rather you're in synch to the same goal. The sensation is of sharing the energy of the orgasm, but as you said, there's no physical orgasmic sensation on our part, despite having the physical relief that usually accompanies our own release.
     
  16. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    This thread started out as Tom discussing how his physical responses while caged are different than when he's not. Now it's sort of veered into deriving pleasure from giving pleasure. While this is clearly a method of expressing empathy, and a very normal thing to do, I find it difficult when it starts getting cloaked in new-age mysticism. Reading about things like Karezza, you'll soon discover it's linked by many to spiritual 'woo', which in my opinion adds an unnecessary layer to something that humans do quite naturally. There's no need to add any extra mumbo-jumbo. And as I pointed out, isn't really what this thread started out to convey.
     
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  17. Tom Allen
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    Is this your first week on the internet? ;)

    Seriously, I think people are trying to relate their experiences, and it's difficult to map mine directly onto those others might have.

    Even though I have a background in eastern religion/philosophy, I do try to keep the woo on its own plane. While I can relate how karezza, tantra, or Taoism have commonalities, I'm looking at a more physical reason behind what's been happening.

    It happened again this week. I felt the pressure build up, and I ejaculated. I had no "drop," and I kept going with the strapon. Mrs Edge came a couple more times, and said "I think you leaked" when she was finished. And that was it.

    I knew I had leaked (in my classification, it was more of a spill), but again, at no point did I get the "Why am I wearing a cage on my junk?" feeling. We cleaned up, started our respective days, both of us feeling pretty good.

    So... there's probably some rewiring going on that I haven't run across before in the years we've been doing this.
     
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  18. WomenWearTheKeys
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    My KH and I have found that regardless if your cumming in or out of the cage, being SECURELY chained to the bed, the wall, or in a stock, greatly increases the chance you’ll remain in submissive mode. Have zero ability to resist being re-caged is fantastic as keeps you from questioning everything or putting up a fight or arguing. And if the cage stayed on then being completely immobilized will keep you in subspace much better.
     
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  19. Finn-egan
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    Finn-egan Active member

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    Many of us, myself included, have discovered changes in our wiring, much like Tom has. For me, and apparently another person here, one of those rewiring changes involved our reaction to giving an orgasm. When it kept happening, I looked into that sort of experience, and discovered mentions of it in tantric stuff, and karezza. I don't necessarily follow those things, but I found what they described to closely match my personal experience, so I read more about it, and often refer to it.

    I've also recently experienced a huge reduction in my mood drop after switching to ejaculating while locked. For me, this has happened after no longer experiencing any unlocked arousal or stimulation. It's become the new normal and it may be the reduction of intensity, given that there is less stimulation, or it may be something else. It may have to do with being locked before, during and after ejaculation, so there is no switch from unlocked state back to locked. I do know that strongly squeezing the pc muscle to stop ejaculation (this is also a tantric thing here) also had the same effect of reducing my mental change/mood drop, back when I was still masturbating normally and more often.
     
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  20. Billus
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    Billus Laconic.

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    Sometimes I wish it was!

    I knew posting this opinion would probably cause a mild ruckus, but I didn't see that as a bad thing. And it seems to have worked, as the few responses so far appear to be back on track. I'm not necessarily opposed to a thread changing topic mid-stream or people adding their own takes on the subject at hand; that's fine. But this being the Internet after all, too many posts in this very forum get slathered with BS ("I woke up and found myself locked in a CB-6000 with no way to free myself!"). I particularly dislike describing physiological responses in cosmic terms ("On a deeper level of consciousness, our ying and yang united to produce a gestalt of shared awareness of the energy levels manifested throughout all of life."). A totally different type of BS.

    Anyway, point made. We return now to "Post-Orgasm Wiring", sponsored by a grant from the Arthur Vining Davis Foundation, and viewers like you.
     
  21. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    It's deliciously sinister!
     
  22. Tallestrina
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    That's really interesting, Wifewearsthekey, I always wondered if it would be possible for the KH to re-fit the device after play (either with or without release)- I find the idea totally HOT! Do you mind if I ask what device you guys use? Does she use ice to cool you post-play? are you blindfolded so that you never see your penis?

    Thanks for sharing.
     
  23. Tom Allen
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    Wouldn't that be funny to think that coming while unlocked felt weird?
     
  24. WomenWearTheKeys
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    We have several devices, most of which can be re-applied and locked while I’m chained to the wall, locked kneeling in the stock she made, or chained to the bed, though being chained to the bed posses the greatest difficulties with re-locking a device on.

    I have a Chinese belt with is working very very well,
    https://m.dhgate.com/product/starte...1JCbE1IMmtidzFObi1EWEE.#s1-8-1;srp|2427812233


    A very solid steel cage that is worn with a tight waist chain to keep me from being able to pull out the back of the cage.
    https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B01GQENLFE/ref=psdcmw_1243841011_t2_


    And a plastic cage that’s the most ergonomic cage I’ve ever tried, but since it’s plastic and can be easily broken/cut off or defeated I usually am only wearing it if my hands have been neutralized by bondage mittens, or are otherwise unable to get to the device. This plastic cage is also worn with waist chain lied around my waist, keeping it tightly against my pelvis.

    https://www.sub-shop.com/collection...hold-locking-smoke-color-male-chastity-device
     
  25. WomenWearTheKeys
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    WomenWearTheKeys Active member

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    I can’t picture getting to cum while not restrained, I’d instantly get an attitude, loose all self control, and afterwards I certainly wouldn’t be willing to resubmit to being restrained and re-caged.
     
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