Phase 3 / Year 3 / :)

almost forgot to mention. Asked her how she feels about that and her response was that she doesn't know yet. Has to think about it...

 

It was a failed attempt. We don't know why, we don't know what happened. Today I after a while I went to see the pierce. I showed it to him and he told me I should take it out. I asked him if we can try again another time he said no chance. We can try at another spot. I am very sad as this now went on for almost 4 months. 4 months with no intercourse, with pain, with frustration.

I took it out. Nonetheless I am consumed with the topic, I still want to get circumcised and get another PA at a different spot, but I will wait at least till March. Lets see if my Lady is able to stop me.

 

Went to the urologist today. Have decided to go ahead with the circumsicion in March. At that visit the doctor e will also remove my third ball.

And then .....

... But only if my lady is on board we will get a new prince Albert piercing and hope it works this time. At the airport now waiting for my flight

 

There always will be small fights. However with the FLR they are much shorter. I naturally always want to go back to my role to kiss her feet and be submissive.

I am happy as I am looking forward to my circumcision in March and once healed another attempt at a PA piercing.

Currently in Mexico with very little play as we sleep in the same room as the kids.

But a lot of love and affection. On the other hand my punishment list is above 50 swats, let's hope she follows through and makes me a better husband.

Love my Lady.

 

How did 2018 go?

• I got pegged / and while sometimes it was not pleasurable we worked it out and the last time I absolutely loved it. Definitely want it again.
• My KH did not read the Mistress Manual. She didn't read anything to do with FLR, Chastity or BDSM
• I stayed away from porn (very proud) and this is what helped me stay a better husband.
• I got a Prince Albert piercing / but I had to remove it again 6 months I spent cage free hoping for healing.
• But most importantly it was a great year on the love front. We found harmony. What wasn't on this wish list is something that happened in 2018 and it seems it was soooo long ago / I submitted to my lady. I try very hard to be the beta in the relationship, I kneel in front of her, I kiss her feet and if we do fight I usually very soon after go to her with my head down and apologise.

Next / what to expect from 2019.....

 

A very short post. I am struggling

Can't stop pulling out. Had some bad weeks with my lovely wife but trying really hard to be nice. Am scheduled for a Circumcision on the 9th of May. After that is healed I will have another go for getting a PA.

Currently find it really hard not to cheat.

Not sure I will come back here to read comments as I am not really up to reading or facing comments like "why would you choose to lock up if you decide to pull out" comments. Can't explain well what is happening since I don't understand it but know I will be back once the stars are better aligned.

I know I will win that fight - love my family, happy at my job but missing self control.

 

thanks @Rectrix and @Jasmic68 good to see there is someone there listening. I hadn't quite hit bottom yet when I wrote my post but do hope that i passed bottom.

The thing I can say for sure, even if there are many out there that say there is no such thing as a PMO addiction. I am a recovering addict. And even though at times i thought it was easy you are never a 100% healed.

It started with touching, edging and then full on unauthorized orgasms until i got called by porn again, slowly, gradually, first youtube, then twitter and when i saw myself opening youporn again and rubbing one out to it all alarm bells went off. I was free of real PMO since I had started this journey with my wife in October 2015. Together we will get back.

Had the circumcision yesterday, will take about 3 weeks. I am not looking forward to getting pierced but will probably do so shortly after I am healed. I know the best Chastity Device is the head and while I fell back I am conscious of how this stuff works and am working hard to stay clean again. I am currently at day 2 but cant touch anyway due to the OP.

 

Thank God I can't touch myself and cheat after the circumcision. Not watching porn either and feeling great.

Feeling horny and fantasizing about my wife busting my balls. Interesting that when I get errections I am enjoying the post circumsicion pain restricting my erections.

Looking forward to a fast recovery.

 

it is still impossible for me to play with myself but I am not missing it. lets see how this journey continues and when I will be man enough to try a new PA attempt.

 

We had an argument yesterday. She was still upset in the morning. But just shortly before she left the house she put her face very closely to mine, leaving about 5 cm between us and said:

"I am still angry, I have decided to let you feel this anger tonight, get ready." "The good news is you are not using the bike this week due to the operation, you wouldn't be able to sit on the saddle tomorrow anyway"

So looks like I will be punished tonight. For now I am still excited about it, lets see how much I will suffer. I am happy she cares.

 

I opened a thread on Electro Sex earlier - post can be found here:

As you can see from the quoted post above I got myself another toy But lets start from the beginning. I am healing well from the circumcision and I want to get a PA very soon - although I am hesitant to go to the piercer.

Thanks to the operation I have not played with myself (at least not with my hands) - haha - so the Electro Toys that is a whole different league and I am happy I purchased them and I am also happy that I went for a lot of solo rides.

Saturday was different though. I approached my lady and told her. You have something I want and I am prepared to listen to your wants and needs. We are not very dominant/submissive at this point in case you were wondering - but we both want to get there again.

She heard me out. I told her - I want you to play one hour with me whit the electro toy, tie me up. The good news is you can do something else while you play with me, like watch tele etc... She gave me some tasks which I fullfielled very eager and happy.

Kids went to bed, she asked me to get ready. I got the stretcher bar and the electro toy and put the bands on my penis and the electro plug in my anus. I didn't want to give her any recommendations we had one joint session before where I basically told her all about the options, the intensity etc... I thought lets see what can happen.

She switched on the tele, asked for the control for the electro toy, asked me to turn around to face a wall while she was watching tele while lying in bed. She turned the control unit on, turned it up, went through lots of programs gradually turning it up.

It was amazing, not because she found the right intensity or program (she didn't) but because it felt so amazing that she was in total control - telling me what to do, where to look and also in control of the electricity flowing through my body. This went on for probably 30 minutes.

After that (while keeping the electrodes on) she asked me to get in to the spreader bar. She then got a blind fold and gradually turned up the device. She also got the Wartenberg Wheel and I felt a sensation overload. After that she started pulling and pushing the plug and I cant describe the feeling. A feeling between pleasure and pain but mostly overload of sensations.

This evening I didn't come but I was so extremely happy and pleased and loved the session. She also mentioned that she liked it a lot more then she had first thought.

Happy times My goal is not to use the toy by myself. For the long term we will find a way to lock it away.

 

Since getting circumcised we had PIV once, i had issues as i almost felt nothing... i do hope it will normalize with time. We were good as a copuple allthough we currently are not in a D/S relation. I really hope this will start shifting again with the PA that I need to do when we come back from vacation.

I dont watch Porn anymore, thankfully. Hope that stays this way. I do however play with the EMS/Tens player a lot. It is just amazing. It is interesting as to have a HFO (hands free orgasm) I need so much power that I almost cant stand it but it feels great at the same time. Difficult to describe.

Sunday night my lady told me to get the electro sex uint (EMS/Tens) ready so she can play with me. I warmed up first and then let her "drive it" - and it was fantastic. I almost came but when she decides enough is enough her word counts. love her.