On drawing the curtains.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mascara^Snake, Oct 28, 2015.

Random Thread
  1. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,668
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    It was only the other day that someone approached me with a request to write a thread for the Mansion. It was directly after my having expressed the notion that male chastity was at the cutting edge of societal change and nothing to be ashamed of.
    My dream is to build a bridge from vanilla to here. To make male chastity more accessible and acceptable.
    More mainstream. More something that you may have seen on TV or in a magazine or something you might be aware of your neighbors practicing and rather fancy having a go yourself.
    I honestly believe this is possible.
    However it needs for all of us to adopt the same attitude.
     
  2. richard
    Offline

    richard Just me

    Joined:
    May 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,224
    Likes Received:
    611
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    I think for that to happen more people have to come out in the open with it. It could happen but it will be slow progress.

    It certainly has sneaked into the public in places via TV and brave people.

    The fall in price of entry level devices I'm sure is having a great effect. I have seen them under £20 now. Its getting to the point of how can you afford not to have one. Certainly cheap and easy for couples to experiment.
     
  3. Billus
    Offline

    Billus Laconic.

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    959
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    One thing that would need to happen is to have a male celebrity out himself and admit he wears a device. I know there was a thread a few months back about finding a female 'face' of chastity, but I think it would need a man to admit he wears one and likes it. Imagine if Beckham or Louis Hamilton or Jimmy Fallon or Daniel Radcliffe said, "Yeah, I often wear a chastity device. My significant other loves it when I'm locked and they have the key. It's no big deal.".
     
  4. Michael McDaniel
    Offline

    Michael McDaniel Personal Assistant to a Goddess!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2015
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    9:21 PM
    For me, ever since Mi Amor and I decided to formally enter into an FLR, I've experienced a strong desire to go public. Embracing male chastity can be a relationship changing event. I know it was for us. Of course we're still working out the bugs, but Mi Amor has gone from "This is a fun and interesting way to spice up our sex life" to "Our marriage can't survive without the chastity"

    I was chatting with @HollyC yesterday and a very interesting topic came up. She asked me what I thought about all men being in chastity and it reminded me of some past thoughts I've had. I'm not an overtly religious man, but I do believe we were engineered to meet certain criteria and perform certain tasks which aid in survival and ensure the continuation of our species (aka evolution).

    Contrary to the "good book" (written by men, lol) I don't believe men were put on the earth to rule. I think we were put on the earth as tools, implements to be used. Men were given strength and stamina to work the fields and provide sustenance. Women were given logic, reasoning, emotions, sympathy and mercy, and above all else the sole ability to create life and nurture it. As Holly pointed out, men's genitals are on the outside, unprotected, so they can be used as a controlling mechanism. A mans entire subliminal system is hard wired to his genitalia. He can easily be controlled by that alone. On the opposite side, women's genitalia and the life granting machine is protected on the inside. Women can't be controlled by sex. Most women can go long periods without sex. Women can pro-create without having traditional sex. They posses the ability to go the the "faucet", extract the ingredients, and plant the field, so to speak, all on their own, if they so choose. I think the "good book" has it wrong and it wasn't Adam who came first, it was Eve or Lilith, and man came in afterwards to serve.

    If we could shrug off the patriarchal yokes of society and show women the true joys of male chastity, the world, I think, would be a different place. Imagine, for a moment, if a condition of engagement to a woman included not only an engagement ring from the man, but a chastity cage from the woman. How significantly would the divorce rate drop? How many families would stay together? Would family success increase. Keep in mind, women have built in nesting instincts. They are born with the ability to successfully manage a family.

    Just my thoughts, sorry it's so long
     
  5. salonslave
    Offline

    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    Messages:
    610
    Likes Received:
    497
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    SW Louisiana, USA
    Local Time:
    7:21 PM
    That ship has left the port already. The concept of men in chastity is becoming more mainstream by the day.
    Corsets have followed a similar path. I have always loved corsets on women and on myself. This was part of a well hidden fetish scene. I scoured book stores and encyclopedias for every mention and illustration. I subscribed to BR Creations monthly magazine. I became friends with "Big Ruth" and her husband . . . In fact it was her husband who first showed me word processing using DOS. Btw, Ruth wasn't big. Its that thay had a grownup daughter named Ruth. My wife and I both purchased corsets from them.
    Look at the proliferation of corsets today. Some people credit Madonna with the outing. She certainly became the face of corsets for a while, but the groundwork had been lain by corset afficionados.
    I don't know who will do he CB outing. It will likely slip into mainstream through a Sienfeld type show. Or maybe a luminary couple will come out. Can you imagine Brad and Angelina coming out? I have no evidence that they are into CBs, but I have read that they are spankos.
    One thing to remember is that even if it goes mainstream not every couple will embrace it. It would give couples the blessing of society.
    Thank you for reading.
    Ss
     
  6. DonnaSue
    Offline

    DonnaSue Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2,317
    Likes Received:
    3,393
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southeast US
    Local Time:
    8:21 PM
    I've been thinking along much the same lines. I have come out about my being a caged sissy to the women at my lingerie store, Lane Bryant. They've been assisting me with my female dressing needs for several years and they all now know that I wear a cage (none has seen it). We've had several discussions about how the cage works and the effect that it has had on me, my wife, our marriage, etc. I even brought in my other cage one day so that they could see the CB6000 and they were all eyes and ears as I showed hem how it attaches and is locked.. Most of the 6 of them are so interested that they have been talking about how to get their husbands interested. I have pointed them to the CM site to come and check it out further, but I am unaware if any of them have actually done that.

    IMHO, If male chastity is to gain wider acceptance, in addition to celebrity endorsement, there needs to be books to read and a place where curious folks can some to learn more about the benefits of same without all of the emotional and over-the-top descriptions. We need an educational forum of some type where husbands and wives can learn all about it. We on here already know the benefits; we just need to educate people!
     
  7. Michael McDaniel
    Offline

    Michael McDaniel Personal Assistant to a Goddess!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2015
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    9:21 PM
    A vanilla Facebook feed might add some interest
     
    steviepie and HollyC like this.
  8. salonslave
    Offline

    salonslave I play for a living and work for fun.

    Joined:
    Jan 28, 2009
    Messages:
    610
    Likes Received:
    497
    Trophy Points:
    63
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    SW Louisiana, USA
    Local Time:
    7:21 PM
    Donna Sue,
    I believe this is that forum. The members seem to be more cerebral than any other group.
    Hold the course is my advice.
    S
     
    Living Curious likes this.
  9. jemima
    Offline

    jemima maid for my Mistress

    Joined:
    Dec 19, 2011
    Messages:
    8,115
    Likes Received:
    8,645
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Occupation:
    Maid
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    West Midlands. UK.
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    i draw our curtains every nite and now it getting early cos the clocks gone back.
     
    Mascara^Snake likes this.
  10. Aiki
    Offline

    Aiki Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    If anyone is familiar with the TV show "californaication" theer was a chastity sub plot in one of the seasons.



    Michael if anything the opposite of your desire is happening as sex becomes more really available and divorce court decisions become more nasty if you are the male party in a marriage. Marriage rates are declining and indeed male monogomy in general in the first world is also on the decline. Indeed there is trend among the current generation of young to eschew serious romantic relations with women entirely.

    Marriage is on the decline, romance is at an all time low, "Find em, fuck em, forget em" casual sex is at an all time high.
     
  11. Giles_English
    Offline

    Giles_English Chaste slave

    Joined:
    Dec 8, 2011
    Messages:
    1,322
    Likes Received:
    1,289
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Slave
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    1:21 AM
    I think male chastity can't go mainstream (except as a bedroom spice like pegging) until somebody develops a secure male chastity belt, e.g. one with an escape detector. Up to that point, you have to have a strong acknowledged submissive streak to wear a ball trapper and not pull out, and for your partner to know you won't pull out.
     
    RexVa likes this.
  12. Michael McDaniel
    Offline

    Michael McDaniel Personal Assistant to a Goddess!!!

    Joined:
    Oct 9, 2015
    Messages:
    18
    Likes Received:
    12
    Trophy Points:
    3
    Local Time:
    9:21 PM
    I agree with your assessment of the way it is now, but what if Chastity cages came along with engagement rings? I think it would really change things.

    Males do the things males do, b/c women let them. Society has pushed women into thinking they are dependent upon men, when in fact the modern world shows us that the opposite is true. Women no longer need men to hunt, farm, or even pro-create.
     
    MistressPhedre likes this.
  13. Aiki
    Offline

    Aiki Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    Wishing something were a certain way doesn't make it so, actual data has shown the opposite to be true. The more empowered women in general society are the LESS men are interested in relations with them. As women have come to realise that they dont "need" men to provide for them the figures on stable relationships such as marriage have fallen through the floor as have female happiness ratings. These figures are all out there in studies done by reputable think thanks and psychological research establishments.
     
    Captured Pirate and tegelad like this.
  14. richard
    Offline

    richard Just me

    Joined:
    May 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,224
    Likes Received:
    611
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    I would argue that marriage has declined most in traditionally sexist societies eg Spain and Japan

    Women are also choosing casual over commitment. That way they don't get lumbered with a lazy male trying to make them their domestic slaves. And as women become more empowered, they will make the terms and choices.

    What I see above is a male interpretation of the figures.

    As for "female happiness ratings" - That looks a bit made up. The younger gen. I know are out partying more...probably because they cant afford to buy houses. The ones I've seen dont look any unhappier than any previous generation, women nor men.
     
  15. DonnaSue
    Offline

    DonnaSue Active member

    Joined:
    Mar 17, 2015
    Messages:
    2,317
    Likes Received:
    3,393
    Trophy Points:
    143
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Retired
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Southeast US
    Local Time:
    8:21 PM
    In this age, I think for male chastity to really go mainstream, there would need to be a scientifically based study of the implications and success factors in relationships involving male chastity in a large group of people - just in order for it to be believed. Does anybody know if any such studies have been conducted?

    Think of those of us here as the pioneers in the movement; it will take considerable positive information to even get the discussion into the mainstream,

    IMHO, without some real, proven results backed by the numbers, it would be difficult for many people to buy in!
     
    spider203 likes this.
  16. Aiki
    Offline

    Aiki Member

    Joined:
    Oct 19, 2015
    Messages:
    74
    Likes Received:
    67
    Trophy Points:
    18
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    Well Richard I realise that the femdom dedicated section of a kink website is probably not the ideal place to make this argument but eh what the hell Ill quote some sources and you can have at the data or my interpretation of it. Ill not be offended if you vehemently disagree with my personal interpretation, I'm a stats and science guy and fully admit that my anecdotal experience may not mesh with yours as I tend to end up associating with women on the other end of the D/s spectrum to you I suspect. :)

    https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2013/06/12/marriage-is-declining/

    http://users.nber.org/~jwolfers/papers/WomensHappiness.pdf

    and on a more editorial note...

    http://www.theatlantic.com/politics/archive/2009/05/why-are-women-better-off-but-less-happy/18293/

    As for the idea of male chastity relationships becoming more common? Why the hell not, people are living all sorts of non standard relationships publicly these days many of my work mates for example know I have been on and off in openly poly situations with several partners. But as for it becoming standard? I think that is likely a little bit on the side of the male subs "personal fantasy" :)
     
  17. guest 2942
    Offline

    guest 2942 Long term member

    Joined:
    Feb 5, 2014
    Messages:
    2,131
    Likes Received:
    1,400
    Trophy Points:
    153
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    9:21 PM
    im gonna go out on a limb here and say(with no proof) that the rise in the popularity of chastity also coincides with the rise and ease of getting porn. Porn IMO has destroyed many marriages. Its only the select few who realize this and actually want to change that, ie chastity. The ones who dont see their porn use as destructive continue on in a sexless marriage or get divorced. So unfortunately I think chastity will remain in the background because noone wants to have a serious conversation about porn and its destructive nature. I'm not sure if that makes sense but it did in my head lol. I guess what i'm saying is that we as a society need to have a open up front conversation about porn then we can discuss chastity as an alternative because porn isnt going anywhere. For example, here is the problem and here is the solution, or a solution.
     
    Surrendered to Bec and richard like this.
  18. richard
    Offline

    richard Just me

    Joined:
    May 17, 2008
    Messages:
    1,224
    Likes Received:
    611
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    Marriage is declining - Cant disagree as an institutional agreement of bonding it has been so for a while. I remember the papers in the 1980s fussing about it.

    As for the happiness thing. I have issues with how happiness is measured. I just don't buy into the statisticians methods for measuring something that fluctuates so dramatically. On some days I am very happy. On others I am far from it. Sample sizes to reflect entire populations as you know have to be massive otherwise error would be massive. Unfortunately sample sizes are always tiny.

    Staines, not far from you is statistically the unhappiest place in the UK. (allegedly)

    This article says men are more unhappy than women, So based on the other one. Women are less happy than before. Men are suffering even worse. This is rubbish also of course.
    http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/a...guys-Women-happier-men--just-wont-admit-.html

    "'m a stats and science guy" - not sure what that means? I have done a fair bit of statistical modelling in the past and did quite a bit of stats at Uni. much to my distaste. IMO: it's the bullshit cousin of pure and applied maths.

    1 thing for sure re: happiness - having traveled the world a lot. Economic wealth doesn't make you happy. Thai people are probably the happiest I have met.

    As for what will happen in the future. Who knows. However the original post was:
    What can we do to encourage chastity lifestyle increase and what has happened/is happening that is increasing it.
     
  19. MistressPhedre
    Offline

    MistressPhedre Active member

    Joined:
    Jul 12, 2015
    Messages:
    157
    Likes Received:
    198
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Female
    Local Time:
    7:21 PM
    In terms of celebrity outting himself, so long as it's some more along the lines of Jimmy Fallon or Daniel Radcliffe (or Lewis Hamilton or David Beckham - I didn't recognize the names by Google says they're sports guys, car racing / American football) then that'd be good. What probably would be more harmful would be if it was someone less respected by society were the first to come out (or be found out).

    Although, I do find the idea that Josh (or Jim Bob) Duggar is/are actually into male chastity to be quite hilarious!

     
  20. thundar
    Offline

    thundar Member

    Joined:
    May 17, 2013
    Messages:
    747
    Likes Received:
    1,031
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Male
    Occupation:
    Professional
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    East Coast
    Local Time:
    9:21 PM
    Ok. I admit I wear a device. There I did it!
     
  21. Mascara^Snake
    Offline

    Mascara^Snake Banned

    Joined:
    Aug 3, 2009
    Messages:
    2,672
    Likes Received:
    4,668
    Trophy Points:
    133
    Gender:
    Female
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Scotland
    Home Page:
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    #21 Mascara^Snake, Oct 28, 2015
    Last edited: Oct 28, 2015

    There are literally thousands of threads expressing fear of visits to the doctors, jingling noises in public, visible bulges in trousers, airport security etc etc etc.

    The ship is still very much at its berth.

    So most of you are happy to hide among the shadows on the grubby backstreets of the internet until some so called media celebrity mentions it?
     
  22. Billus
    Offline

    Billus Laconic.

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    959
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    I think it's a situation very much like being gay - The percentage of homosexuals in a population is probably pretty stable, all other things being equal. But being gay in the 1960s is not like being gay today. Many gay men hid in the closet out of fear and/or shame. But famous men coming out led the way for many 'ordinary' men following suit. I'm old enough to remember when Elton John revealed his sexual preference back in 1976; it was big news. Today it seems amazing that he ever had to come out.

    Also recall that this is now really the first generation of men to have access to cheap, functional chastity devices. Unlike being gay, if you were into denial back in the Sixties, there simply wasn't anything you could buy to indulge your interest. So it's very uncharted territory we're in here. I still think the movement needs a public face to own up, then the dam may be broken.
     
  23. Billus
    Offline

    Billus Laconic.

    Joined:
    Jul 31, 2010
    Messages:
    974
    Likes Received:
    959
    Trophy Points:
    103
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    UK
    Local Time:
    2:21 AM
    I think we can leave out supernatural fantasy in this discussion. Humans weren't 'engineered' or 'given' anything. Sexual dimorphism evolved long before we were 'working the fields'.
     
    DarkKnight likes this.
  24. DarkKnight
    Offline

    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2015
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    185
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Colorado
    Local Time:
    7:21 PM
    While it is a wonderful fantasy (reality for some), in my opinion, would be nothing more than a period fad like powder wigs, men's heels, ascots, and cod pieces. Since marriage is a man made creation, the ritual associated should include the symbols that mean something to you . . . ring, cage, collar, etc. . If you want to spread the word, have a ceremony (recommitment of vows), have witnesses and that will start a dialog.
     
  25. DarkKnight
    Offline

    DarkKnight In service of the Dark_Queen

    Joined:
    Mar 28, 2015
    Messages:
    222
    Likes Received:
    185
    Trophy Points:
    53
    Gender:
    Male
    Location: (Country, Region - and perhaps even City?):
    Colorado
    Local Time:
    7:21 PM
    agree - 200k years of evolution, 6k of that in what would be considered modern civilization
     
  1. This site uses cookies to help personalise content, tailor your experience and to keep you logged in if you register.
    By continuing to use this site, you are consenting to our use of cookies.
    Dismiss Notice