On drawing the curtains.

Discussion in 'Female led relationships' started by Mascara^Snake, Oct 28, 2015.

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  1. Captured Pirate
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    Captured Pirate Long term member

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    My personal opinion is that most women would love to have a lock on their man's penis, but have no idea it's actually possible. It is my further belief, that many, were they made aware of this possibility, would shy away from it, thinking it to be "too kinky." This was my Wife. But the gentle way in which I introduced and explained it to her brought her around. To the point where She may be more comfortable with it now than I am. :)
     
  2. Jasmic68
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    Jasmic68 Long term member

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    I would think she is more comfortable, she isn't the one wearing the device and having to cope with the feeling of a contained erection! ;)
     
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  3. Captured Pirate
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    Captured Pirate Long term member

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    Indeed! :p
     
  4. Giles_English
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    Giles_English Chaste slave

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    A really practical locking harness would be one way to go. However, I suspect girdles will never catch on.
     
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  5. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    @Mascara^Snake said in the original post: "My dream is to build a bridge from vanilla to here." When I first read that I yelled, "Yes!"
    Ok that's a lie. I didn't yell. But I thought it loudly.
    I'm not sure if 'here' will ever be 'mainstream' or common practice, but there is a gulf between the two, most definitely. And I'm not sure who is more responsible for that gulf, 'them' or us.

    Ms. Amanda proposed that we all need to adopt the same attitude. I've read through this entire thread and I'm not sure if anyone has really addressed that point in depth, about what our attitude needs to be. I'd like to know what specific attitude @Mascara^Snake is suggesting? Perhaps I'm dense, but it seemed like a pretty open ended suggestion in order to invite discussion and I feel like the discussion went a different direction. Not a wrong direction, just different.

    I have to echo Ms. Amanda's thoughts that we should act like chastity is mainstream and accepted and we stop agonizing over what people think about it. If we stop treating chastity like something that is unaccepted in the first place, if we stop feeling ashamed or have something we need to hide, perhaps we'll realize that society is more accepting that we anticipate. Or they just don't care and we work ourselves up over nothing.

    I guess the key to that is to convince yourself that it's ok. You're not broken or messed up. You're just into chastity.
     
  6. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I never thought any different about myself once I'd got into it... (no pun intended)
    .
    .
     
  7. Living Curious
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    Living Curious Long-term lockee

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    @filltee I didn't mean to imply that people feel different once they get into chastity. I'm speaking more towards the notion that chastity, or any sexual kink/fetish, is somehow shameful. I think some people perpetuate that without even realizing it.

    Consider how many threads there are in the Mansion about fear of broaching the subject of chastity with a partner, or fear that people will somehow discover them either online or in real life. I'm not suggesting that any of that is unfounded or unwarranted. What I'm saying is that we should endeavor to discover and examine the root cause and address it, because I don't think it's necessary.

    Chastity will never be for everyone, just like spicy food, playing chess, or roller coasters are not for everyone. But no one would consider eating spicy food and then not do it for fear of being thought of as weird. And if you have a friend who eats habanero peppers for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you might think he's a little odd but you probably wouldn't hold it against him or feel ashamed to even speak with him of his odd appetite.

    To compare a sexual fetish to spicy food is ridiculous, for sure. But I think it makes the point some people might be magnifying the gap between vanilla and chastity. I would aim to convince people that it's no big deal to enjoy chastity and no reason to be ashamed or worried. And perhaps most importantly, and what I think this thread is about, I would aim to convince people that it's no big deal to know someone who enjoys chastity, or talk about it (in an appropriate venue) or recognize it as a thing that some people are into, and 'hey, whatever floats you boat.'
     
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  8. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    I did not for a moment think you were.

    I was trying to lend some weight to, whilst agreeing with, Mascara^Snake's comment "You're not broken or messed up. You're just into chastity."
    .
    .
     
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  9. Cecilia B
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    Cecilia B Long term member

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    When I first started dating my BF, I told him I told everything to my best friend. I also told him I told things to others of my friends. He was OK with that and he said he understood women had to have their friends like that. My best friend and a few of my female friends have seen him with his CB-6000 on and they've seen some other things, too. Still, he's not willing to let everyone know we practice chastity. I can only tell women I know will keep it hush-hush. One of his hard limits is no guys know about chastity, discipline or me dressing him up. In fact, I broke that limit in mid-November with what I thought would be OK with him ( a gay submissive) and my BF did something drastic and stopped all the chastity, discipline and dressing up until a couple of weeks ago.

    Lesson learned: respect the limits, especially the hard ones.
     
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  10. filltee
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    filltee Junior Member

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    In all relationships and in all regards;
    Without trust you have nothing, hopefully your lesson was learned well.
    .
    .
     
  11. Deleted member 38179
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    For me personally, I have become so used to being locked in my chastity cage that I feel uncomfortable not being in it. As for being afraid of others finding out, I no longer am. Male chastity is such a gift to a relationship. I am attentive as a husband should be. I am no longer self absorbed. I'm proud to be locked in chastity with my loving wife as my KH. I have gone to several Doctors appointments wearing my cage without any issues. My lock will make a little noise on occasion, only I seem to notice it as no one has ever turned around yelling "What's that clinking sound?" As for a bulge in my pants, it depends on which cage I am locked in and what pair of pants I am wearing. No one has giggled or focused on my crotch. Airport security is no big deal as the TSA has stated that they are allowed. I wear a non metal cage with a plastic lock for any trips through a security stop, sporting event, concert, airport etc.
    chastity is my reality and life is too short to be worried about what other people think about me.
    Just get your happiness about male chastity out in the open so you can relax about it.
     
  12. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    I fully agree with this statement. This is the attitude that men from this site should adopt in order to move mainstream chastity acceptability forward.
     
  13. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    In all actuality I think it’s the females that need to make it acceptable and mainstream. Men will follow. Maybe not all men, but if it is something expected in a marriage or serious relationship, then men will eventually follow.

    Chastity and the actual cages are not something they even know existed. There might be some into the bdsm scene that know of them, but for it to become mainstream, knowledge of its very existence is the first step. The next is turning it from kink to part of relationships equipment ...like a wedding ring.
     
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  14. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    Nico everyone who is aware of the benefits should do ther best to unveil it where possible.
    It's not something that should be left entirely to women to move forward.
     
  15. guest 2942
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    guest 2942 Long term member

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    I would think there would be far more converts from the female side then from men. If I tell a friend about chastity he would just say dude your crazy! Since females are the ones in charge of whether sex happens usually they could make it mandatory for anyone they date. The seduction of a female is far more powerful than a dude telling a dude to lock himself up. Thats my take anyways.
     
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  16. steviepie
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    steviepie inferior and unworthy male

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    I think we need to respect Ms Amandas wisdom in this matter but surely all of us who have learned to appreciate the chastity lifestyle should find ways to make it a valued lifestyle choice (vs. some "kink")
     
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  17. LesterBallard
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    LesterBallard Long term member

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    It does feature (briefly) in my first novel, so if I ever get it published that'll be a start.

    I do agree. There needs to be a change. #metoo shows us the need for it. It would be good if a progressive chastity movement could be built around the response to that.
     
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  18. Mascara^Snake
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    Mascara^Snake Banned

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    That's great lester. Every little bit counts :) xx
     
  19. Her Dividend
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    Her Dividend Junior Member

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    Coming out with your kinks is ill-advised, and I would not recommend it. I tried it once and learned never to do it again.
     
  20. tomf_22033
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    tomf_22033 Long term member

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    Speak for yourself.
    Yes some of us don’t want our parents or bosses to know, but some of us are pretty open about our life to those we feel are ok to know.

    Most people actually have some kinkiness. How much varies. And most may chuckle but the real prudes are really much rarer than we think.
     
  21. Chaste J.
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    Chaste J. Long term member

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    Each to their own! :)
     
  22. Nicoftime
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    Nicoftime The suspense is terrible...I hope it lasts

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    I believe as long as it is seen as a kink or sexual it will remain in the shadows...not unlike vibes and dildos. Both are quite common and probably in almost every home, but rarely discussed. The most conservative repressed may own one but it is hush hush and hidden in a drawer. Main stream as they are, it’s still about sex and therefore hidden.

    If chastity cages are to be drawn into the light, I think they cannot be a sex toy, but more like a tool or relationship jewelry. A status symbol to be envied and shown off...like a large wedding ring.

    I suppose a grassroots movement could work, but like most would need a spokesperson or someone of interest to spearhead and represent the idea.
     
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  23. Fatkid1
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    Fatkid1 Unquestionably devoted

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    Deep down, is it necessary for it to become a public norm? It is a personal thing first, where more than one person is involved it is then intimate. A relationship is often intimate, which make us special to each other. If chastity is intimate within a relationship, that makes it special...no different than marriage. I guess for me, if it is not special, private, and intimate between us as a couple it would have no allure. I guess for me being a part of this community, seeing a woman with a key necklace is a secret that I now realize exists in that persons life without either of us ever speaking. Socially I think that is special. Is it really necessary for that to change? I can only speak for myself.
     
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  24. RexVa
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    RexVa Long term member

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    Respecting hard limits is certainly critical. Privacy is often one of them, for various reasons.

    However, as chastity becomes more and more widely accepted, there should be no reason for males practicing chastity or FLR to fear the opinion of other males... There is quite a lot to be proud of when a male commits to a chastity lifestyle in submitting to a woman!

    All males need to know that.
     
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  25. jemima
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    jemima maid for my Mistress

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    i think that if the men that has got great big ones was put in cages then everbody wud be able to see cos they wud has big lumps in the trousers and folks wud know then that they has cages on them.
     
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