Maintaining Excitement in Chastity Play - Seeking Advice

"It's only kinky the first time..."
Then it eventually becomes part of your sexual norm. New twists and experiences are needed to keep it exciting (and unpredictable)...

Are you still being teased by your Mistress? Or have you found yourself "locked and left"?

 

How long are you being caged at a time?

Why are you getting cranky?

Do you talk to her about what you're feeling?

Short answer: We can't read your mind, so it's hard to know what's going on in your head. (The one on your shoulders.)

Does your wife notice your crankiness? How does it make her feel? What has she said?

Have you asked her to help you work through your crankiness? What have you asked for help with? Are you willing to accept help?

 

I would also ask what is the duration of your current lock? I have been locked for long periods multiple times (months at a time before short term release). I dont know if its biorhythms or what but typically go through periods in a month of really no interest or stimulus, but honestly my cage just feels so natural fit I dont notice much.

My focus is on serving my Mistress/wife and what ever my KH tasks me with. I have found taking are of my Mistress has rekindled my arousal sometimes when it has been lacking. Of course though its just kind of "cage" wrestling at that point for me.

Perhaps tasks or taking physically care of your KH/Wife until she is thoroughly satisfied will help.

 

For us it definitely ebbs and flows. We just try to roll with it. Sometimes we’re hardcore chastity. Sometimes we take breaks. It’s hot as hell for her to leave the cage out for me while I’m in the shower when we’ve been away for a bit. As for the crankiness during a long lockup, you’ve got to find the reason for that. For me, it’s usually just sexual frustration. If I keep myself busy it will subside.

 

My keyholder told me to always dress like someone you would want to fuck.

that stops me getting cranky.

 

If she teases you regularly, you'll maintain excitement. Then start speaking words of affirmation to her daily, maybe acts of service daily, etc. Find her love language and focus on filling up her love tank.

 

Another way to overcome crankiness would be a seriously hard thrashing with a cane.

 

A wooden paddle works too ...speaking from experience

 

Crankiness comes from being sexually ignored…not frustrated.

The key for me is to find other outlets to keep engaged. I find myself touching and necking on her, hugs with caresses and brushing her lightly. I find her intoxicating and show it. Am I begging for her to let me out and pressuring her? No. I’m showing interest, and intimacy. She does not ever just go “oh alright let’s get that cage off you” it’s more like “ummm no you wish”. Or she might tease by saying “why would I do that?”

She’s not doing anything, yet I’m kept on the verge, and she feels wanted. It never leads to sex, and it’s not meant to.

Some of the responsibility of keeping you interested and needy, is on you and not all on her. Some men even struggle with being verbal or talking dirty. It goes both ways, you need to keep her interested as well. A cage itself is a great tool, but it’s just one part of keeping this going long term. You can’t expect that just by being caged and not cumming, that it’s going to feel hot.

good luck

 

Great advice!

 

I only get cranky if I'm not teased or at least aroused by my wife for a bit.
There is a big difference between sexually frustrated and cranky.

 

Maybe you are just flatlining: https://basicideaz.com/nofap-flatline/

 

That is absolutely 100% true for hubby. He can handle three months of frustration much easier than three days without attention. And attention doesn't necessarily mean sex. For example, the other night he massaged my feet while we were watching TV. I noticed he was squirming a bit with my feet resting in his lap, so I nudged his cage and said something like "don't get any ideas, you're staying locked tonight". That sort of thing helps keep the negative emotions at bay.

I just wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out.

 

Ms, you have got this figured out! Thank you for your input.

 

THIS... 1000% You should also check out ChastityPod; a podcast around chastity where they talk about this. There's a post on here somewhere where I'm asking about the frustration/crankiness after 7-10days... but now that I have an engaged keyholder, I',m coming up on 2mo locked and I'm loving it!

 

Good advice!

 

Just being locked in chastity can become boring. Being locked in chastity and forced to do something kinky or humiliating in order to be released can be an adventure. Sit down with your Dom wife and come up with ideas for chastity play. Have her write them down on small pieces of paper that she folds and puts into a bowl. Make sure she adds task that definitely push your limits. You will never know if she leaves those in the bowl or not. Then every Friday pick one out of the bowl and give it to her. Only she gets to read the task. If she has an evil grin be prepared for something that pushes your limits. Some ideas for task from my experience:

CHASTITY # 1: I’ll lock myself in chastity cage my femdom roommate choses and wear nothing but the thong or panties she chooses around the apartment for four hours doing her bidding and being teased and humiliated like the time I had to answer the door and pay the pizza guy or when she invited friends over.

CHASTITY # 2: Go to work locked in the cage she chooses wear a thong or panties and thigh high stockings under my clothes. I have to send her a selfie with my pants down at my desk and another of me in the men’s room stall still locked in my chastity. Only then will she release me when I get home.

CHASTITY #3: After midnight I will go to a 24-hour drive thru and pick up whatever my femdom roommate wants while wearing just a thong, an unbuttoned white dress shirt and locked in the cage she chooses. When I sneak back up to our 3rd floor apartment, she agrees to release me if I will masturbate and cum on the hamburger I bought while she watches me do this then watches me eat the hamburger.

CHASTITY # 4: Model the 27 plus cages and many thongs and sissy panties for her friends that she invited to see her sissy sub while she humiliates and teases me.

CHASTITY DARE # 5: I will strip naked, lube up my ass and slip on, insert and turn on one of my prostate vibrators. Then I will lock myself in one of my chastity cages and slip over the cage up to 4 vibrating penis rings and turn them on. I will put one of my sexy thongs, get on my knees and queue up a “femdom forces her man to suck cock” video. I will use one hand to stroke my ass with my prostate toy and hold my realistic cock dildo that I will suck with the other. When I cum I will coat my dildo with all of my cum and suck it clean until the greater of the end of the video or at least 3 minutes after my orgasm while enduring post orgasm torture from the vibrators.

CHASTITY #6 My roommate will lock me in the chastity cage she chooses but no panties, She will have me dressed like a slut in a mini skirt, a white blouse tied at my waist, thigh high stockings and heels. Then she will drop me off in the parking lot of ABS with the glory holes and give me 2 hours’ worth of booth tokens and nothing else. Either I can walk the 7 miles home or somehow entice someone (I may have to swallow more than my pride) to give me a ride home.

CHASTITY # 7: My Femdom Roommate will lock me in the chastity cage of her choice and slip on one of my crotchless panties that show off my cage so well. Then I will dress in my regular street clothes. She will pack whatever toys, cuffs, collars, etc. she wants and take me to the gloryhole booths as her sissy chastity slave to humiliate me and push to my limits. You may make suggestions that she may or may not use.

CHASTITY # 8: My Femdom Roommate will roleplay with me whatever Femdom chastity tease and or humiliation video you or she chooses. If she chooses the video. a copy of that roleplay video will be sent to you by PM.

CHASTITY # 9: My roommate and/or her friends will pick out and lock me in one of the 27 chastity cages my roommate has for me and sissy panties or thong for me to wear. I must role play while she or they watch a “Sissygasm” porn video successfully to be released. If I fail to have a Sissygasm I have to be their sissy chastity slave for up to 4 hours. My roommate has me pull down the thong to my ankles, lube up my butt and squat and insert an 8-inch realistic cock dildo suction cupped to the floor to fuck while roleplaying the video.

CHASTITY # 10: Girlfriend Maid Service: My roommate will offer to the any of her girlfriends that will accept for me to be their sissy chastity maid. I’ll lock myself in chastity cage her girlfriend chooses and wear nothing but the thong or panties she chooses around her home for four hours cleaning and doing her bidding while being teased and humiliated however she chooses.

CHASTITY # 11: Sissy Chastity Glory hole Hand Job Hooker: My roommate and/or her friends will pick out and lock me in one of the 27 chastity cages my roommate has for me, sissy panties or thong for me to wear and thigh high stockings. They can then offer my services to give hand jobs at a gloryhole for up to 2 hours to whoever they want'

CHASTITY # 12: Sissy Chastity Slave Gloryhole Roleplay: My Roommate will invite her girlfriends over for a sissy chastity gloryhole roleplay show. When they arrive, they will pick one of the 20 plus cages she has for me and lock me up. Then they will select just a sexy thong for me, and I will dress in my regular street clothes. My roommate will mount an eight-inch realistic suction cup cock dildo on a door mirror visible from the Livingroom. She will cuff my hands behind my back, unzip my pants and pull out my caged cock. They each will take 3-minute turns with the hitachi wand to get me to cum. When I cum it will be coated on the dildo, my pants and thong will be pulled down to my ankles and I will get on my knees and suck it clean. They can repeat as many times as you say with a different cage up to 3 times.

CHASTITY # 13: Sissy Chastity Slave Forced Bi Roleplay Show. My roommate and her invited girlfriends will lock me in chastity and dress me in a thong and a garter and stocking set, They will cuff my wrist behind my back and put on a collar and leash. They will finish by putting red lipstick on my lips. They will then put on strap-ons and each one will take turns leading me around, making me get on my knees and suck the others strap-ons while one of the others take turns teasing my caged cock and balls with a hatchi wand. If I cum it is used to coat the strap-ons I am sucking.

CHASTITY # 14: Sissy Chastity Slave Femdom Strap-on Gangbang: My roommate will invite her girlfriends over for a sissy chastity femdom strap-on gangbang party. When they arrive they will pick one of the 20 plus cages she has for me and lock me up. Then they will select a pair of sexy crotchless panties and thigh high stockings for me to wear. They will generously apply and reapply during the dare hot pink lipstick to my lips. . My roommate will have me get on the coffee table on my hands and knees and will cuff my wrist and ankles to the table legs. Each one of her girlfriends will get to choose a different colored strap-on from my roommate’s collection and then the fun will begin. Wine and cheese will be provided of course

CHASTITY # 15: Chastity Cuckold Date Night. My roommate and her girlfriends will pick out a chastity cage and crotchless panties for me to wear under my street clothes. We will then go clubbing and dancing. I will be their cuckold slave and either do what they ask or walk home. Humiliation is on the menu. If I behave they promise me an orgasm tonight. Maybe more than one possibly.

Chastity # 16: Chastity Condom Cuckold: My femdom roommate will lock me in one of her chastity cages from her collection with me totally naked on my knees. She will stick a suction cup realistic cock dildo to a door mirror. I have 30 seconds to apply a condom on the dildo using my mouth with my wrist cuffed behind me. If I fail, she zaps me on my balls. I have to keep trying until I succeed 3 times in a row. She says this skill may come in handy in the near future

Chastity # 17: I take a 10–15-mile bike ride through my neighborhoods at lunch time. My Femdom roommate will lock me in a chastity cage wearing only a pair of short spandex biker shorts and sneakers for the bike ride. The bulge in the tight shorts will be very obvious and humiliating especial going up and down my stairs and walking to my locked bike.

NEW CAGE: Buy the new cage my roommate picks and the sissy panties to go with it and wear just them all day for her as in the Chastity #1 Dare. I will report back on what she picked.

NURU MASSAGE #1: Go to the Nuru Massage place 20 minutes down the street locked in chastity wearing a thong under my street clothes. Give the masseuse the key and get a massage teased to the edge over and over before she locks me back in chastity and puts the key in an envelope and seals it shut. No happy ending just denial.`

 

I agree!