Life of Slave-Boy

I guess I should start a journal on here so here goes.

I'm a slave to my wife - Let's call her Mistress I guess. She called me Slave-Boy today so I guess I'll be that.

I served her all day, fetched her food and did the chores, and was ordered to work out and then lock up afterwards.

I did a half-hour of chest press on my old-school weight machine and locked up into my Holy Trainer V2 after.

I'm only getting back into the cage and my scrotum got a bit raw from it today but she let me out to go shopping.

Even without the cage I'm on the honour system. Other than accidentally coming I would never willingly break the rules. I only come when she allows it.

I asked her if she might want to listen to or watch something sexy and she said, "Tomorrow".

It may or may not happen. She may forget but I have to just go with the flow and not be too expectant which is a big problem for me.

I'll do my best.

 

Well, today I will be allowed to have a release. Mistress ordered me to walk the dog, then work out, then shower and put on my cage, and keep it on throughout the day - obeying her instructions as they come, then after I have made supper I am to take a second shower and give myself a ruined orgasm into my hand and "Prove my love" which I think is a romantic way of saying eat my spunk for her.

She knows that I find this humiliating, taboo, and arousing and I always repeat some for of affirmation when I do it like "I eat my cum to prove my love" or "I'm so grateful to be your pathetic slave" over and over again until my ruined orgasm spills my worthless semen into me hand.

She has also told me that she would like me to "slurp" the cum. So I make a point of audibly slurping it. I've done it almost every day this year so far but I wasn't allowed release yesterday so this is a bit longer to wait.

Ruining the orgasm and eating it means that I don't have any "sub-drop" like I would if I have a full orgasm. I still feel really excited and submissive; maybe even moreso if I'm honest.

Well...as I sit here and write my feelings, I'm swelling in my HT and my scrotum is a bit uncomfortable (45mm base ring). It's small so I can't pop out but it's painful sometimes.

I want to get a mamba xs or nub....but I don't know if I'm too small for the nub.


I think I will have a fun second shower.

 

After dinner, as I was getting ready to take my shower and "prove my love", she mentioned that she wanted some Boba Tea so, while still locked, I took my daughter into town to pick up three Bobas and now I'm back at home, sipping some Boba and working up the nerve to ask for my key so I can prove my love.

I like it when she makes changes and alterations to the plans on the fly. It helps me to feel like it's not just a robotic routine on her part. It's my hope that she becomes more vocal and explicit in her embrace of the new power dynamic because that way we both enjoy it.

I have taken to saying "yes Mistress" and "Thank you Mistress" and "Can I get you anything Mistress?" (she doesn't walk so she needs me to fetch things). I know it's against her nature to call me slave or make demands but the truth is that asking me for things with "pretty please" etc. in a sacharine voice is more insulting to me than if she simply bluntly made demands of her slave. (Does anyone else feel that way?)

 

I have now been released and ...well released (ruined though) and I proved my love. I had saved up a bit so the load was large. I repeated in my head, "I'm your pathetic slave...I'm your pathetic slave" and gobbled it up.

I'm now even hornier than before. Explain that!

So I'm unlocked, and I'm dreaming of being my Mistresses slave tomorrow.

I also took some edible cannabis so...the combination of being horny and stoned is interesting. (FYI it's Legal where I am)

 

Well I'm an idiot.

My Mistress asked for my help with a personal care issue (the details aren't necessary) and she delayed in something for about 30 seconds longer than she anticipated. So basically, I made a quip that it's a good thing I waited for half an hour before proceeding. I was exaggerating the wait to be funny. Sometimes I think I'm a comedian but usually I'm the only one.

She was hurt by my comment. She made it known by the look on her face. I immediately apologized for my insensitive comment.

She immediately said, "Ok so I want you to walk the dog, then work out for half an hour, then take your shower."

Usually when she says take your shower she wants me to ruin my orgasm and eat it. I asked her, "Is this a normal shower?"

"Yes. Then I want you to lock up.".

No ruined orgasm for me. Just lock-up in my cage. Given that she ordered this after I upset her, I'm not liking my chances.

I genuinely feel bad and I meant nothing by my joke but I have a tendency to put my foot in my mouth. Usually that doesn't result in punishment but I'm a bit worried this time.

I guess if I really want to please my Mistress I should ask the people on here what they suggest they do about my insolence.

Please be merciful.

 

Update:

Mistress says she is not angry with me. That's a relief.

She has however decided to make me wear my Holy Trainer overnight though. This will represent another day I did not get to enjoy a ruined orgasm. Hopefully I can have one tomorrow but I have no guarantees.

She told me she is training me to extend my time in chastity.

I'm conflicted about it. I feel really vulnerable in my cage which still binds some....but I feel vulnerable OUT of my cage.

Does that make sense?

Anyways, I hope to have an ok night....we'll see.

 

Well overnight wear was difficult but I was able to manage and I slept fitfully. I did keep waking up with hard-ons and had to continually readjust myself, something that I hope I will not need as I get more accustomed with my cage or
Upgrade to a new one.

I had the strangest dream that I was lying down on my living room couch under some covers fully naked with my cock cage on and a family of 2 adults and 2 kids let themselves in to introduce themselves.

In my dream I struggled to get them to leave so that I could get dressed and hide my shame but obviously this was a silly dream and I woke up this morning realizing that there was no emergency.

I begged to be let out of my cage this morning because I have some professional obligations to attend to that would make it impractical and I was allowed out but I was instructed to lock back up as soon as my obligations were completed.

 

Update:

Mistress didn’t lock me back up and didn’t send me to the shower to ruin my orgasm and prove my love.
I’m still serving her of course as I have to regardless.

I suppose I should be grateful to be free. The HT was really pinching before. Yet I feel empty.

Child is home for snow day today so no overt play or language. A little bummed out.

I’m still chaste of course since she decides when I cum. I think she just forgets about it.

I don’t want to push her but is there a way to remind her I’m her slave?

Maybe the ladies can answer. Anyhow I’m off to make the best of it...

 

Well today was a total flatline. Oh I was her Slave all day. I worked my butt off. But daughter was home and I was doing work work, and Mistress was wanting all sorts of personal care etc. etc.

But no kink at all and I was unlocked for all of it. Not exactly exciting.

It's days like this that I wonder why bother, but I have nothing else so...why not.

 

I woke up this morning so depressed and wanting to be taken charge of. I wrote to Mistress and said that I was still committed to remaining chaste even though I was unlocked. I said that I understood that life got in the way the past couple of days.

I also asked her if she would please remember to treat me as her slave to the extent that it was possible.

Later on this morning I was in bed watching regular tv and suddenly I felt an urgent "pee" feeling but I knew it wasn't. I started to drain excess cum...but I quickly caught it in my hand.

Mistress was asleep so I could not advise her of the emission and request instructions so I assumed I should consume it as a slave should. I licked up the thick ropey cum from my fingers just as I heard her stirring in the other room where Mistress sleeps.

I began preparing her breakfast and she texted me Good Morning. I confessed about the emission and my cleaning it up. I asked her if I did the right thing.

SHe said yes I did.

I am her slave whether she treats me like one or not. I have to stay focused on her. I have to stay obedient.

I felt no pleasure at the emission and I can feel my prostate is holding back a lot more cum. I will do my utmost not to leak any more and to clean up whatever I spill.

It's what a slave should do.

 

The day was all vanilla and it culminated in an argument with Mistress. (Yes married people argue). In this case we argued about a silly streaming video subscription that we are only getting the free trial for but not the monthly. No one was really right in the circumstance but we got into it and mostly because I was frustrated with being ignored, I told her I would stop journaling on here.

We went back and forth over texts and finally I said that I am going to serve her whether she calls me her slave or not but that her accepting dominance and not forgetting about me was a way to lighten the burden for me.

She basically said I tended to get angry if she didn't go along with my requests. I said all I asked for is for her to pay attention to me from time to time. In a huff, she said, "Fine...go shower and lock up". My response was, "Sure and then have you ignore me some more? No thanks."

I know what you're thinking. Such insolence from a slave, but this wasn't a Mistress/Slave conversation. This was a husband and wife talk. I didn't want her to lock me up just because: a) because she was humoring me, or b) when she was mad and not with her heart in the right place. Mistress was basically getting into the way of thinking that if she just orders me to lock up then she can go back to ignoring me. If that was her intention, I didn't want it.

She said, "I just want you to spend some time with me. In the same room." She wanted my company.

So...wanting to meet her half way, I went out and spent some time with her. The mood seemed to soften and we were chatting normally. She was happy I was there. I was too.

In between television shows we were watching, I slipped on my HT and handed her the key.

I said, "I love you and I'll probably regret this but here." She took the key and put it safely away.

Even if she sometimes forgets she is my Mistress/Owner, and we get on each others' nerves, She is my Mistress and I am her slave. More importantly, her husband and the man she chose. I have to remember that.

I love her.

 

I decided to go up in size on the base ring.

 

Yesterday, Mistress said I could cum after walking the dog and working out. She told me to drain my balls fully into the shower drain.

It all started when I remarked,” it’s been quite a while since I have cum” to which she replied, “what makes you think you should be allowed to cum, Slaveboi?”

I just said,”I don’t know. Because you have allowed it in the past.”

After she told me to cum fully, I offered to try to eat it but she said no. Just empty yourself into the drain.

Anyways she allowed it and it was wonderful. I felt no more submissive madness all day.

But then I was kind of too relaxed and began copping a bit of an attitude. She noticed a bit.

I think it was sub drop. I tried not to let it happen.

This morning however I feel horny again and I wonder if the sub drop is over.

I apologized to Mistress for my insolence.

I don’t think she will punish me.

 

Today Mistress said I would be able to cum in the shower again after doing chores, walking the dog, and working out.

I asked her if I should ruin it and eat it. She said no, cum fully.

But then she said, “actually yes ruin it and eat it so that you don’t act all whiny afterwards”

She has a point.

I do tend to be a less enthusiastic slave after a full orgasm.

I am also doing work at the computer and waiting on her. She is disabled and needs help to pee so I’ve been assisting her with this. Sometimes I get really frustrated with this as many caregivers do but I am trying to remember my place.

I am really trying but it’s tough sometimes.

I was really grateful for a full orgasm as it made me feel like a normal male but I have to admit it then is hard to be the servant she needs. I know it shouldn’t matter but it does.

 

MOh God I just got the privilege to do it.

I showered and dried off. Then I fetched Mistress a cherry yogurt cup and got my own peach yogurt. I went into the washroom, passionately rubbed my nipples, then my tiny soft prick with my thumb and index finger until I was very close. (It only took perhaps 45 seconds) I let go of my baby prick and enjoyed a weak stream of cum flowing into the cup. I gave a few tiny stimulations to my prick in order to extract whatever else was left inside me and produced about a teaspoon and a half of jizz floating on the top of the yogurt.

I quickly presented the unmixed treat to Mistress who simply snickered at it. I then proceeded to mix it up and eat my treat on front of her.

I made sure to thank Mistress for my treat.

“You’re welcome!”, She replied.

I am so grateful for the privilege I ruin my orgasm and consume it in such a humiliating way.

I’m not sure when this became a kink I enjoy but in the absence of any sexual contact with my Mistress, this is the closest thing I have to it.

If you think it’s pathetic, you would be right.

Tell me your thoughts on this. Is this something any of you enjoy?

 

I woke up today wanting some encouragement to be a slave from my Mistress. As usual, it's not something she gives out easily. She simply asks me politely to do things and I do them.

I do get it; I'm not supposed to ask for dominant talk or humiliation....but I find it hard not to ask about it. I probably annoy the hell out of her. I do regret that.

Child has been home from school due to road conditions for the entire week so far so we don't have complete privacy. That being said, she can message me and tell me whatever. SHe isn't comfortable vocalizing femdom statements to me. SHe is really rather uncomfortable doing it but she has learned to get out of her comfort zone a fair bit. I am really grateful for that.

There are two truths:

1) Even the slightest word of dominance and humiliation from Mistress sends me over teh moon, but

2) the more I get, the more I want and I can be a real greedy guss.

Because of this, I know I have to manage my own expectations but I don't think it's unreasonable for me to bring up my needs with Mistress too.

It's really hard to walk the line between maintaining my sexual arousal at submission and topping from the bottom. I know what you'll all say. I should submit REGARDLESS of my state of arousal, and you're right.

THe fact is, I obey regardless. I have to. But I do wish Mistress was more invested in being my overlord (in a more overt way).

How many of YOU out there feel the same thing? Needing more overt defined dominance?

 

What our Mistresses need to know is that we are like plants. We need food and water to yield results but even a tiny bit of regular sustenance will yield great results.

Consistent attention is the key.

 

I was NOT aware that my Mistress was a “service top” but I think that is EXACTLY what she might be.

She doesn’t get off on dominance or kink but she does it for me if she does it at all. I think I should probably clarify if that’s the case though.

I get so frustrated that she doesn’t seem to give a crap most of the time but still expects me to do everything.

I’m not saying I don’t want to obey but it makes so much sense that she just figures. “I ask and he does it. Why should I have to do anything”

This creates so much resentment and a feeling of being unloved. So many times I say to myself, “what is the f&&&@ point?!”

I think I need to communicate better.