Life of Brian: what have the Romans ever done for us?

my heart goes out to you. i guess i never understood how having the key to the candy store meant no sweets for the key holder. we have the key so it is all ours. when ever, where ever and how ever we want. everyday i want more. i feel for your wife as well. having the key with little desire. a fate far worse than yours.
good luck.

 

If only she could understand and enjoy the benefits. My wife had multiple Os with me wearing the strap-on yesterday then I gave her a back massage. She's vanilla but she wears the key on a necklace and wants me caged most of the time. Maybe your wife is stressed.

 

Imagine going 100 days in nearly total isolation, no release, no unlocking, and minimal contact. I was accused of cheating on my wife with not 1, but 2 women early last year. The choice, stay locked with no release while I make she made up her mind on divorce or just leave and it’s over. She even worked in an office in another state for 2 months so she wouldn’t see me and had her girl friend check in on me weekly.

Just as she was coming to her decision to go out and have some fun with other men and dumping me, her girl friend found out the story was made up by someone to get even with us because she won a contract they wanted. When it was verified I was innocent, the cage came off and she vowed never to lock up my cock again and begged me not to leave her.

After a week of being unchanged and doing her any time I wanted, I brought chastity again. I missed it, she hated losing control, so we set up rules and schedules and we try to meet scheduled agreed to prior to locking. In fact, she even bought me a new set of cages and we rotate thru them.

There are some other kinky things I would love to try, but she does have her line not to cross. So in the meantime, she gets lots of pleasure and I am set on a schedule. Not that I’m complaining, I got it pretty damn good even when she stretches my limits.

 

You could ask her what she would like to do next, good luck and I hope you can sort it out.

 

You may have nailed it there. She may have lost the desire regardless of chastity. Why don't you ask her what is keeping her from enjoying sex? Ask what you can do to make her more excited about sex.

 

Wish I had an answer for your frustration. Maybe you two should try counseling.

 

I live a similar situation. The only solution that I've found to be acceptable to me is to reduce my expectation. Being locked in a secure device 24/7 has helped with this by amplifying the enjoyment of hugs, kisses and cuddles. My wife says that she enjoys sex and that I always assume that she doesn't want any. I try to sex her up on a regular basis and the result is no PIV, BJ, or Oral for 13 months. My last HJ was just before Christmas. I've determined that she is near asexual and prefers to masturbate than to have sex. She has done a good job of hiding the key because I can't find them. She may have taken them to work. I hope that you find a suitable solution. The situation sucks but I'm more miserable when unlocked free to jerk off at will.

 

Hmm. Don't talk about chastity play. Ask her if there's something you can do for her for a chance to unlock. Can even bring cuffs into the situation. That way she can lock you back up after without resistance. Just spit balling.

 

And if request is denied, well it's a flr. =D sorry. I tried lol

 

Do you give her foot rubs or massages or any other sensual but not sexual touches? I'm guessing you've tried everything but gotta ask...

 

My wife for various reasons has forgotten about sex. I'm permanently locked up. I find masturbation lonely and depressing after a while, it sends me down some dark rabbit holes. Locked up is my sex. I'm still expected to follow her rules as we practice a type of FLR.

There are times I desperately want to make love to my wife but I must keep it to myself and respect my keyholder.

It is difficult and we have spoken about it . One day she will make a move although I doubt I will be unlocked.

 

It's interesting to see how some of these relationships like yours evolve into completely zero sex. Makes me think again about wanting to introduce it.

 

I can relate to what most everyone has said here. But wasn't it more fun back in the day when you could fuck anything that moved? I miss that..

 

This made me think of blue velvet how long have you been locked?

 

I feel sorry for your very difficult situation.

However, if you take a step back--just because she orgasms, doesn't mean that she wants to do it again (think about all the guys on CM who have regrets after they orgasm). Don't confuse the physical reaction with emotional enjoyment.

Based on her behavior, for whatever reason, your wife doesn't find the prospect of sex enticing most of the time. Was she like that at the beginning of the marriage?

 

But, how old is everybody involved in this? The Female Menopause occurs between 45-55, and can lead to greatly reduced sex drive. I'm certainly experiencing some of this, but I regard living a kinky life as a good substitute for a vanilla dead bedroom. Also, menapause isn't forever. Sometimes things switch back later.

 

I don’t know any of your wives or partners, so I’m just speaking from my own experience.

For me, it’s a trust issue. Even in my younger years, if I had reason to stop trusting my partner, my sex drive plummeted and the few times I got horny ... the idea of having sexual with an untrustworthy partner made my skin crawl and immediately killed that mood.

After my (eventual) ex-husband cheated on me, I fell into a funk. I told him that I needed to think things through. He’d occasionally make a sexual overture and ... ew, no. Gah. At one point, he furiously complained that he wasn’t getting any sex. I shrugged it off and said I didn’t feel like it.

“It’s been three months!”

I started at the information. I’d been so depressed and hurt that I hadn’t realized that I’d spent an entire season just going through the motions.

In a more recent relationship, I found that I developed an automatic habit of nervous banter whenever my ex tried to seduce me. It was as though my entire body was screaming, “No, we’re not going through with this again. He uses sex to lull you, then he abuses you again. For crying out loud, no!”

One doesn’t have to be aware of or concerned with a partner’s stressors for said stressors to be valid and exist.

 

@Anonoman

I had a similar problem with sex frequency (not chastity, as my wife isn't into it) but sending her this reddit comment helped:

https://www.reddit.com/r/AskRedditA..._long_have_you_gone_without_sex_in_a/fel808q/

I also read more recently another comment, but I can't remember where: "It's much more important to start sex a lot, than to finish it."

That one might be a bit more appropriate for the crowd here, since finishing implies orgasm, and we don't want that, do we?

 

Genius! I love that. I regret that I have just one like to give.

 

Lack of sex inspired the cage originally. This was caused by my wife's health, she got a life threatening illness. In general locking up your cock is really good for your head and when they do get involved it's fantastic. This is my story , chastity has helped me in many ways .