How to get him to lock up again? Ideas

My husband started off like this. He would ask to play, then ask for release, then ask not to go back in because he wasn't in the mood after he had his orgasm. Then I started to take much more control, and he's mentioned quite a few times how scary, intriguing, and hot it is all at the same time. He once told me that he asks for release, and he would like it, but the hottest possible outcome would be for me to tell him no. He's asking, just hoping that I'll love him enough to make him wait for me to be ready. And he said he knew that I don't require sex often, so the hottest thoughts for him were if he were to be in permanently.

The way I got him to start going in 100% of the time was that I would use a length of chain. I would lock the chain around his neck, then lock the other end around the bed. I would keep the chain fairly short. It wasn't always comfortable for him while we were having PIV, but that was part of the fun for me. The first time he asked if he could leave the cage off, I left him chained to the bed all night and he had to sleep like that. Then he had to put the cage on to be released, anyway.

After that, I usually chain him, or tie him some other way, and he always goes back in without complaint.

My best advice would be that he really, really, really wants you to take control, but that's also a scary and off-putting proposition. A lot of times when they ask to be let out and orgasm, it's because they're testing us. Once we got over this hump, our relationship has become more fun and interesting than I could have imagined. I've mentioned before that it's saved our marriage, and I believe it's all because I started to take charge in a way that surprised him, and that he doesn't always love. But he is almost always horny for me, and very attentive.

If you ever want to talk or get ideas on teases, bondage, punishments, or any other aspect of this, feel free to message me here. I'd be happy to answer questions, or do whatever I can do. We don't use a lot of pain just for the sake of it, but I'm very interested in actual control.

 

Spanking spanking spanking, he must need more discipline to understand you are in charge. There are different levels of spanking, perhaps checking out there use for different situations. Sounds to me you could use them to communicate your frustration, he needs to learn about them too. Find a place in the house attic, garage etc. to take him, once you have found a safe place you can let him know you mean business. If it doesn’t work .. well you are ready for chastity lessons but he isn’t.

 

My wife has a biometric safe, that only she can open. It doesn't matter how much I whine about being unlocked she never gives in to me.
I regret being locked permanently but it has saved our marriage. So it's worth it.

 

This is a great thread that is packed with great insight and ideas.
https://www.chastitymansion.com/forums/index.php?threads/deep-breath-and-relax-here-goes.46030/

 

Chastity and keyholding has to be free will for both parties.

I’d tell him that - “if there is no free will on your part, then we’re done with chastity”. Give him a day to think about it. And if decides he wants to, tell him the rules before the lock goes click.

 

On I didn’t read every response so this may have been covered…

This doesn’t sound like a problem he has only you. Sorry that’s blunt.

So he’s asked you to lock him up. He wants chastity.

You lock him up. He asked to be released. He still wants chastity.
Just tell him no.

You say your vanilla so you have good self awareness. You know it’s you at fault. Tell him no.

You don’t need spankings. Discipline. Games.
He asked to be locked up. You’ve granted his wish. You’ve made his dreams come true.

Follow it through.

Let him out when you want him out. Deny him. He’ll love you for it.

 

Check this out!
https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07HM6RGSZ?ref_=cm_sw_r_mwn_dp_0NGM5EY0PYTE4YB3X05B

This is a good book for couples. It’s good to read together.

 

Hello all and thanks for the suggestions. It’s been 8 days since she had the key 24/7 and my libido is ramped up. The wife also seems to be enjoying herself with the attention and I’m not sure how much more I can keep from trying to get the key. I’m also not sure what she will say or do if I attempt to ask for real ease. Every time I hint (without asking directly) she says are you asking for the key ? Do you need another week added? No I don’t . Hell I’m not sure how long she is keeping me locked before release anyway so I suppose I wouldn’t know if she adds a week . Lol.

 

Excellent! Nice to see at least one of you is having fun.

 

Everytime you think about asking the key, think is something that would make her happy and do it.
Clean something, Offer a massage, etc ...

That way you can harness the energy that you have into making the relationship better. It will also help take your mind off things.

 

Congratulations!

 

Easy , make it game tell him how you want to tie him up and take advantage of him, and while he is restrained you can put the cage on him.

 

However much he begs DO NOT GIVE IN he really doesn’t want you to and when he realises your not going to give in then that’s when you will fulfill his wishes and you become so much more alluring to him I can promise he’ll want you more than ever and when you ( finally give him the key he’ll give you the best time ever, take it from one who knows x

 

Maybe ask him if he wants you to be happy. "Don't I deserve to be happy? Don't you want me to be happy?" type stuff.
Maybe offer the privilege of going down on you for locking up?

 

You could let him pick out a sexy set of underwear or outfit. Tell him you’ll order it and wear it. But he would have to lock up until it gets there. And if he does you’ll wear it for him. If he wants to take off the cage then just don’t put it on. Tell him he must wear it X amount of time to have you wear your outfit.

as for him asking for the keys that’s normal. Being locked up makes you desperate. And he may want to hear you say no. Because it is hot when the key holder says no. Just hide the keys somewhere in the house or the car. If you have both keep one in the house and one in the car. You can get an air tag key chain for it if worried about losing it.

are you giving him daily teases? Just sleep naked if you can. You should try to do something you don’t normally do while caged. That way you build the reward system for being locked up. That may get him to want to stay locked up.