How to get him to lock up again? Ideas

Op’s husband here. I like the idea and we can use something to add some fun to our life. We used this before and I think we both liked it but It’s been rare so I just thought you might not want to bother. Maybe it was just life was busier then it is now.

 

I think the idea of a safe with a lock timer that will require both of you to remain firm on when he can be unlocked is a good one. It will give you the chance to see & learn what changes chastity can produce in him and in your relationship. Be sure to tease him frequently during his locked time. If he doesn't start to treat you like a Queen, tell him the game is over. It's what he wants.... to be teased & denied.... give it to him and you will reap the benefits of his improved behavior.

 

Ok... I think I misunderstood the original post. After reading thru the entire thread, it sounds like he wants to "play" chastity but doesn't want to give you control. Is that the case?

If he wants you to participate in chastity play, he needs to give you the keys... all of them. Then you must keep them somewhere he can't get to them. Only get them out when you want to and he's behaved and made you feel like a beautiful and desired woman.

 

he wants to be locked (or thinks he does) so adding days is not punishment.
Spank him so that he feels it when he sits or runs for at least a few days.
And next time, make it worse for him.
He has to understand that he is supposed to be making the sacrifice, in return, you will dominate him in and out of the bedroom.
He doesn’t get to pick and pick and choose when the game is “on”.
If he does, and you are ok with that, we’ll that is just session play and probably not benefiting you at all.
You will still be under sexual pressure constantly.
You won’t be able to know when it’s time to play and when it’s not. You’ll always be on edge, wondering if you are doing the right thing by him.
That’s fine if that’s what you both want , but that is not an FLR, nor is it enforced make chastity.

PS
I seriously doubt that you both want that as I have yet to know of a woman that likes to have sexual performance pressure on her constantly.
Most of the chaste men on this site are here because they have realized it. They have realized that it is not fair to their women to keep them constantly on their toes about what their dick might be in mood for today. Its bullshit, a loving female partner deserves better.
The men here know it. We are a rare but more evolved breed of man.
If your sub partner wants this, make it clear; he’s in the deep end of the pool now.

 

There seems to be plenty of ideas for punishment, but not everyone reacts well to punishment based training. Actually most people don't, admittedly those into interested in chastity are probably much more receptive to it, but still maybe some reward system might be beneficial. What are the things he wants, it doesn't have to be sexual? Maybe a certain amount of time locked, gets a reward, bigger reward if he gives up all control of the key during the period. Just don't make it too easy, anything less than two weeks isn't worth anything.

 

Mrs OP and I have played this before and I felt like it starts off interesting . What has happened in the past is that the” locked and forgotten “ scenario has seemed to creep in after the first time she gets a orgasm while I’m locked and it remains that way for the rest of the time the cage is on. (Two weeks ). When she says “ the simple text don’t seem to do it “ is half correct because the context is not what you think . She only says this after about a week or longer and only after I say something like “ let me get the key “ so no I’m not happy about that. Nothing is usually said unless I mention to her something like “ hey you had the key for like 4 days and I havnt heard anything from you “. This is something not easy to say to her as this has been the situation from the start of the intro to chastity.
I of course say “hey if you don’t want to use this type of play then that’s fine but let’s find something you are into “ . And that scenario happens every time we used this type of play.

A simple laugh from her about the fact I’m locked once in awhile or a text of some sort of hint would be suffice. But nothing at all after she has her first O from oral play or the toy .
That’s the accurate context of the situation. as for me not locking back up when she asks has a context also. Let’s say I’m locked and the device needs removal for any reason and she says she want it back on after cxxxxc then I put it back on. Never have I not done what I told her I would do.
Now when let’s say the 2 week or so term goes by and I’m let out after a fun hot and steamy evening and the cage comes off with her approval , Im not gonna volunteer to lock back up and she ain’t gonna say anything about it. Forever. This is how we got to the op’s. First post of this thread and why her husband is hesitant but actually likes chastity idea.

 

Tease him about being in the cage - he's struggling to get hard for you but... he can't. Ain't that a shame?

Dangle the keys in front of his face and ask him how much he wants them.

Remind him that he's locked and you have the power.

Slip certain words / phrases into conversation - "its not hard is it", "isn't that a cute little thing", and my favourite at bedtime, "yes the doors are locked and EVERYTHING is secured"

Glance at his crotch and smile.

A

 

There is a whole lot I could say but most of it has been said before on this site and others. @King Hippo said it early on in this thread - communicate with one another.

I think you both need to read The Secret to a Happy Marriage. I took the lead in introducing chastity, made sure she understood the benefits, showed her the benefits through my behavior in and especially out of the bedroom, I pursued her and made her feel loved, I give her as many orgasms between my releases as she wants, and let her know that I have a masturbation problem that I need help controlling. (All explained on The Secret website.) In turn, she started cuddling more with me, teasing me especially physically, and keeps me denied for long periods to keep me behaving at my best. After you've both read thru it and talked about it, come back here with questions. It doesn't work the same for everybody. And you'll notice that none of the punishment ideas suggested on this thread are mentioned in The Secret. Those can add additional spice if you're into that. But you need to have the basics figured out first.

 

Especially play with all of his other body parts except his locked cock until he moans, twitches, whimpers, and spasms. And say "no" if he asks to be released.

 

lol. Yup. Love it. I guess this tells me that she actually is having fun with it and not me alone. At least that’s how I process it anyway. If I don’t see things like that I feel like I’m making her do something she don’t want to do and That doesn’t feel good to me because I can’t imagine it feeling good to her .

 

My GF/KH is pretty strict, ad she loves chastity.

She has the keys, all of them. They are in a little steel combination key safe, which is sometimes stored in a timed lockbox. There are no spare keys.

I can only remove the cage using tools as it is attached via piercing.

If I kick up a fuss about the cage going she say things like "When it does go on it will stay on for longer" or "If you don't comply then we'll stop the whole chastity thing".

I don't want either of those things so I comply.

In between being locked we have great foreplay and sex, and there is no doubt that she will withold those things if I don't agree to be caged for her.

 

I'm out, seems like this is less about chastity and more about the relationship in general.

 

Sounds fun. Truth is for me I think it’s a great idea when I have it on but after a day or two I want to ravage her . I will say when I go past two days or so I also love the feeling of being so high on the libido pole because I have lost my libido do to meds but I want to feel like I used to before meds. It’s a catch 22 I guess. That’s where I figured I’ll leave it up to her when or if I get released but I don’t think I can stop asking for the key to get in her pants after I first get horny. I seen the wip mentioned that I guess is used for punishment. The way I see it is she should just use it as she sees fit. Im not one to think it should be used for fun or tease but only for a tool to change what she wants changed in me I guess. Lol she’ll probably need to carry it on vacation or anywhere else though as I seem to get in trouble slot. Lol. The withholding process is something I can’t figure out for her and I’m not sure if I want her to but I think that’s also what I want. I truly want her to make it her own. However she feels gets the results she wants. I think some of the kh around here that are serious about getting results would be a help to her. Her and I talked about that and they can msg her if they would like to. I don’t really see the need for me to tell her what else I want as I think it’s about what she wants or don’t want. My only thing is I don’t want the locked and forgot or her to do anything she don’t want to do just to make me happy. Maybe both happy or just her if those two are met .

 

That’s a straight forward book. Thank you. Just finished it.

 

I think you both need to read The Secret to a Happy Marriage. I took the lead in introducing chastity, made sure she understood the benefits, showed her the benefits through my behavior in and especially out of the bedroom, I pursued her and made her feel loved, I give her as many orgasms between my releases as she wants, and let her know that I have a masturbation problem that I need help controlling. (All explained on The Secret website.)

 

Yes another member suggested it. We both read it today. She actually said that helped a lot. Did for me S well. She has the key and we will practice what we learned .

 

regarding ice; its much faster to run the hot water tap onto the ice block than to use the microwave... microwave is a bit of a silly choice for solving that particular problem.