Happy Wife, Happy Life

Hello all. After just posting my introduction to CM, I couldn't wait to share my very new journey with you all. Here it goes:

My wife, S, and I have been married for almost 7 years. She has climbed the corporate ladder and is very strong-minded/ dominate in nature. My career requires me to be an alpha male, but in my personal life, I'm much more tame. I keep my submissive tendencies to myself with the exception of S knowing damn well she runs the household and marriage. Throughout our relationship, my stubborness has caused me to argue with S over the years as I tried to control certain things and dictate areas of our life. The result: our marriage began to plummet. I was not being a good husband and the our children were probably the only thing keeping us together. My porn-watching and masturbation habit became out of control since we were no longer having sex or being intimate at all. Things were going downhill and quick. I knew something had to change, and that was going to be me.

FLR and enforced chastity were topics I was aware of and often times fantasized about, but it was something I NEVER for a second considered to be reality for me in my life. S is vanilla and only prefers traditional PIV sex. No fetishes, no kink, no oral sex. That's all fine though because I married her knowing all that. Regardless, S would scoff at the idea of locking my dick in a cage. The more I researched from an objective point of view, the more I started to visualize the benefits S could gain from an established FLR lifestyle and chastity.

A quick tangent: S has always known of my foot fetish and and has indulged me over the years. She allows me to kiss, lick, suck, and smell her feet and toes. This is something she is open minded to but doesn't turn her on in any way. We recently had a conversation of my more complex fantasies and fetishes which include femdom as a whole, trampling, impact play, rimming, etc etc. I defintely did not mention anything too hard-core for her like pegging and chastity because I wanted to keep the conversation light enough for her to absorb and not be disgusted by me. As a result though, she went out and bought some sexy heels and a crop from our local adult store. She has used the crop very mildly on me, not wanting to hurt me or be too aggressive. Shes also allowed me to worship her new heels which are strictly for playing, not for outside use. She even threw in some light trampling while wearing her heels. I was in ecstasy during those quick play sessions which always lead to PIV sex for her. She typically orgasms once after not too long and is done for the night. I always beg her to keep going for additional orgasms but she said she just can't. I've always made sure she has orgasmed before I cum, with one or two accidental early ejaculations.

Nonetheless, I was thrilled that she cared enough to let me live some of my fetishes even if it did nothing for her. All this fun became pretty few and far between though as I didn't give her any desire to want to be intimate with me.

Fast forward to a month ago (late January). I decided to have an honest conversation with her about my masturbation problem and how I feel it is taking away from our marriage and making me a crappy husband. Communication has always been tough for me so this was really hard for me to convey. She totally agreed with what I said but didn't think anything of it. I vowed to do my best to refrain from watching porn and not masturbate anymore. She liked the idea and seemed to understand she would benefit from me not masturbating, but the conversation quickly ended and we moved on. I realized I didn't do nearly a good enough job pitching FLR and actual enforced chastity since it was just a lot for me to discuss. I determined I would show her the benefits over the next couple weeks so she can see for herself how chastity is a great idea. And so I got to it.

This was my first attempt at honor system chastity and it proved to be really difficult. As someone who loves watching porn and jerking off, it seemed impossible to quit cold turkey. Ill admit, I did cheat after a few days and ejaculated to chastity porn - what an oxymoron... I was mad at myself. Here I am trying to prove myself for a greater good and I couldn't even last a full week. I was motivated to do better. Despite my wrecklessness, I was still horny as hell all week, and it showed as I was all over S and doing every little thing to make her days easier. I couldn't believe how much my mood had improved, my personal anxiety began melting away, I was completely focused on my wife's needs and our communication was night and day better. She asked me for a foot massage almost every single night which was both amazing and frustrating at the same time. There I was on the floor, massaging my wife's feet as she laid on the couch paying almost no attention to me. It was pure bliss for my foot fetish but so frustrating to not touch myself. S literally laughed when she saw my boner through my pants. Being completely aware how much I love her feet, she found it amusing I was only to pleasure her and not myself.

At the end of only one week of my new and improved behavior, we drank a bottle of wine on a weekend night and discussed how happy she was with me. I told her it had been difficult to not watch porn and that I did cum once. She told me she understood it was tough but appreciated my sacrifice for our marriage. She had me once again massage her feet as we directly spoke to each other about chastity. Without realizing it, S asked the most important question to me. The figurative comparison of a baseball lobbed to a power hitter ready to hit a grand slam, "But if it's so hard to control yourself from jerking off, how can you be sure you won't just go back to it?" This was it, she liked what she saw from just one week of sloppy chastity on my behalf and wanted more of it without me cheating. I decided this was the best time to really explain what I desired from her. I first asked if she was enjoying her foot massage and if she would be okay with turning this into a long conversation. With the wine flowing through us and enjoying ourselves, she told me she was comfortable, wanted me to continue massaging her feet, and didn't care how long our talk lasted.

I began explaining chastity cages, what they're used for, the different types, how they're traditionally implemented, the psychology behind it, the role of a keyholder, the rules, punishments and rewards, FLR, and everything else I could think of that was related. I even mentioned my desire to be pegged and topics such as sissification and cuckolding. I told her that even though those last two topics were not my interest, I would be open to exploring it if she wanted to. She thought about that for a moment and told me she believed in monogamy and wouldn't want to be with a different man. She smirked at the example of me wearing panties though which was pleasant to see coming from a vanilla wife. I was sure to explain that I wasn't asking her to become a dominatrix or do anything she didn't like or agree with. I also made sure she knew that yes, this does turn me on, but it's being used to benefit our marriage, not just to satisfy my fetishes. After taking in everything we talked about, S told me she was willing to enforce my chastity and hold the key to my cage.

S made it very clear though, only bits and pieces of chastity and FLR would be implemented into our lives. It was going to work for us and our family, we weren't going to disrupt the "normalcy" of our lives, especially in any way that affects our children. I was 100% on board. I'd rather take some than none and would never want to start so fast and harm our family. Some of the things she quickly told me she didn't care for were the rules and punishments. She didn't see a need for strict rules nor did she want to be burdened with enforcing punishment for said rule violations. I was hopeful that part would be involved, but if she says no, then it's no. It was just to be expected that until I was locked, I will not masturbate at all anymore. I agreed but wished there would be a formal set of rules and punishments. Also, caged chastity would only be during my three day weekend and not during my work week. The reason being the duties of my career would greatly interfere with a cage. I won't go into too much more detail about that except that even I agreed a cage during work wasn't a good idea. So, honor system 4 consecutive days and cage 3 consecutive days. Again, ill take something over nothing. In regard to pegging, she told me that was a hard no for her but she wouldn't mind using plugs or toys on me. Coming from a vanilla mind, this was a win for me!

One full month went by and S still hadn't ordered a cage yet. I tried hard to not ask much about it to not annoy her so I asked once a week on the status of a cage. Every time she told me she hadn't chosen yet but would soon. She once said that it was to only be her choice on what she selected, I had no say on the matter. Whew, I loved hearing her dominant tones! As of very recently, she said this weekend it would be ordered and she was most likely going with a legit Holy Trainer.

So after one full month of honor system, I made one additional bad decision and masturbated/ejaculated the morning after we had PIV sex which she initiated. I was still so turned on from the night prior that I snuck a quick one. I failed to mention earlier that she has been so happy with me lately that she's been initiating sex with me about once a week, something very new for her. So my chastity sessions are really about one orgasm a week at this point. Still, one orgasm as opposed to ten or so weekly is a massive change. Back to my stupidity, I pledged I would tell her of any unauthorized activity, so I broke the news to her one night while massaging her feet. S became very angry with me that I had not gone to her for permission. Those were her words, not mine. "If you feel you need to jerk off, then you come to me and ask." As disappointed as I was with myself for messing up again, I was so turned on by how serious she was taking this violation and wanted me to ask her permission from now on. She stopped talking to me after that and said, "After you finish my feet, you can massage my back because I'm really irritated." I told her how sorry I was and finished massaging her as directed. It had me thinking though, even with S not wanting the burden of rules and punishments, here she was tasking me with a longer massage because I had done something wrong. Maybe this was a tiny first sign of what was to come. I sure hope so at least.

Last week while the children were away, I was feeling particularly horny after 7 days of chastity. I sheepishly went to S and told her how I was feeling. She looked at me for a few seconds and then said, Okay, you want my feet?" I immediately replied I would do anything. To the bedroom we went, where based on previous play sessions, I kneeled on the floor as she sat on the bed and she presented her feet to my face. I asked for permission to worship them which she obliged. Before my first kiss, I muttered, "You know you don't have to allow this", she looked at me and very sternly said, "Trust me I know." Again, her dominant statements recently were amazing to hear. I began jerking my cock while sniffing her feet, licking and sucking her toes. I told her I was close to cumming and asked if I may, she told me to smell her feet and told me to cum. The explosion of cum was so intense and my body quivered after such a powerful orgasm. I thanked her multiple times and cleaned up. I hope one day she allows me to lick up my mess from her feet. I have never cummed on her feet before but she recently told me she would allow me to eat my cum as long as she doesn't have to do it, a funny reply if you ask me.

So overall, this last month has been amazing for S and myself. I take on many chores, I do what she wants of me without complaining, I show her a boat load of affection and love without it meaning male pleasure, our communication has been great, we have laughed so much more, and been so much closer the way a wife and husband should be. I don't complain over stupid things anymore and always keep her first before me. In return, I'm expected to provide almost daily foot massages (jackpot) and receive one orgasm a week thus far. I can't wait for the cage to go on and for S to officially be my KH. I also hope to go longer durations between ejaculating to at least two or three weeks at a time. I ordered a quality vibrator for her which I hope to take the place of my dick somewhat so she continues to receive all the pleasure she wants. She's not into me going down on her so that's not an option. I can't wait to see what the future has in store for our journey together on a much improved marriage and relationship and hope S continues to embrace her power over me. I'm incredibly lucky to have a wife open enough to take this adventure with me. I'll be sure to continue this thread as things progress and I finally get locked up!

-Pasta

 

Like I mentioned in the first post, S ordered a Holy Trainer v4. We measured the base ring together and came up with the 50mm ring with the small tube (clear color). It shipped and arrived much faster than anticipated. It was delivered 5 days after it was ordered. Switzerland to US. Anyways, I came home from work and S gives me the small discreet box. She says, "look what came". I was so excited but also kinda nervous. Due to the daily long hours of work, and our agreed weekend caging, I didn't even open the box for another couple nights until Friday night.

After I opened the box and admired the sleek packaging, I ripped it open and immediately got hard looking at my new cage. S and I were both tired from a long week of work and parenting young children that we both fell asleep without me even trying it on. It had been one week since my last PIV orgasm and I hadn't masturbated in about two weeks. I was horny, but also tired, so I decided to put it on the next morning.

After waking up, we had our coffee and began our day. I told S I was going to put the cage on and snuck away to the bedroom. After getting the ring on, I was surprised how comfortable it fit. I was hopeful the 50mm ring would be the correct so I wouldn't have to go through the waiting game of ordering a different ring. The tube on the other hand, that was kind of difficult to get on due to my erection that I couldn't seem to relax. After about 15 minutes, I was finally able to get the tube on and aligned the hinge. I slid the locking mechanism in place and marveled at how great it fit, how secure it felt, and how it made me feel. I went to S with the key and humbly asked her to lock me up. She locked the cage, put the keys in her pocket and simply walked away. I quickly asked if she wanted to keep both keys and she immediately came back with a very snarky, "Yea!" As if I shouldn't have even asked a dumb question like that. Just like that, I was locked for the first time and my amazing wife was keeping the keys away from me.

After reading so much about starting slowly with chastity, I completely intended on wearing it for an hour or so then taking it off and easing into longer periods. Well After a couple hours went by and then a few more hours went by, I had worn the cage all day long into the evening without ever removing it. It was so comfortable I didn't see a need to remove it.

As S and I sat on the couch chatting with her friend visiting from out of state, I asked S if she wanted a foot massage since it's our nightly routine (most nights). She told me yes but preferred I stay on the couch instead of kneeling on the ground like normal. That was completely reasonable since her friend would've probably thought that was weird and I wouldn't want to embaress S. As I massaged her beautiful feet, my cage quickly reminded me that even my foot fetish wouldn't allow me to get an erection. I loved the feeling of being restrained of an erection while massaging my wife's feet in front of another female! Although neither lady made any comment or paid attention to me massaging feet, it was such a turn on.

By the time we were ready for sleep, S asked me if I wanted the cage off. I asked her what she preferred and she told me to take it off for the night. That was a great idea, I already had it on for probably 12 hours, I should really ease into night time caging. So the cage came off but there was no sex or anything sexual that ensued. S hinted at sexual activity the following night. We spent about 10 min talking about my first day wearing the cage. I told her how it made me feel and she explained she thought about it throughout the day knowing I was still locked. I love hearing her confirm her control over me.

Next morning came and the cage went back on with S locking me in. I wore it through most of the day but had it removed after my shower due to my wife's request. I think she was getting ready for PIV sex later and wanted it removed for her. After the kids went to sleep we moved to the bedroom and began being intimate the way S prefers. That led to sex and we both orgasmed fairly quickly. I've noticed it's become incredibly difficult holding in my ejaculation since I started chastity a month and a half ago. I made sure she had her O first and I was quick to follow. So far the only drawback to chastity is how I can no longer last long during sex. I'm hoping we can figure out alternatives to her being pleasured without risking an early O on my end. Her new vibrator is expected to arrive very soon so maybe that might help!

My last thoughts for the day and I hope I get some advice. When S and I first discussed FLR and chastity, she wasn't really into rules and punishments because she didn't think it was necessary for implementing a mild FLR. I tried explaining it didn't have to be sexual in nature nor a heavy burden to her, but it was her decision. In the last month and a half, there have been times she was become upset with me or annoyed due to various reasons, nothing major, but enough to bother her. I feel like those reasons are enough for rules and standards to be enforced. If she can tell me exactly what not to do, I can obey and become a better trained husband to her. Punishments will only keep me focused on her and her rules. I see this as a huge benefit for her. So my question is, should I very carefully reapproch this subject with her or just continue our current path, I know the answer is to not top from the bottom and follow the lead of my goddess, but I'm open to hearing your thoughts on the matter. Thanks!

-Pasta

 

Last night, S and I talked a little more about expectations and how chastity would work for us in our lives. I brought up the rules and punishments system idea to her again, in a very gentle way to not annoy her or sound selfish. I believe we would both benefit from more of a disciplined husband training without it having to be too hardcore for her, in exchange for the current laissez-faire approach to FLR and chastity. She reaffirmed that she didn't see a need for this and I was to just be a good husband, not jerk off anymore, and wear the cage every Saturday through Monday (our agreed arrangement). She added, if she wants PIV sex 3 times a week, then that's what she will get. If she doesn't want sex for 2 weeks, then I'll wait. There wouldn't be floggings or punishments for bad behavior, it's just not what S wants. She did however say, "You massaging my feet every night is a reward isn't it?" To which I replied of course it is! She then reminded me, "If you piss me off, you're not massaging my feet." She asked if I was wearing the cage, which I wasn't. Today was a very busy day and we started doing things quite early and kind of rushed into it, so I never put the cage on. Plus, I don't know where the keys are to lock it. S responded quite boldly, "You're supposed to be locked on the weekend." I hate dissapointing Her. I know I need to be better at everything, including chastity. I hope to prove my dedication to her in all ways and make Her happy.

I realized something after our talk, even if my chastity journey doesn't sound the same as many of yours here at CM, and my Goddess isn't as strict as others, I'm still incredibly lucky to have a beautiful Wife and Goddess who sees the benefit of a chaste husband and confidently leading a relationship. I've been too pushy about what I wanted out of chastity that I completely forgot to honor rule #1: what my Wife wants is most important. I should not and will not bother her about any of my selfish desires.

We then went to our bedroom. S knew I'd been waiting patiently for femdom fun for at least two months, so she decided to indulge me. She put on her bedroom-only stilletos and had me get naked in front of her. She told me to bend over at the bed as she grabbed the crop. *this impact play is for fun only and not to be confused for discipline. S is happy to spank me for play sessions* She has become increasingly harder on the swats but stops at 10 total, that's all she wants to administer. I thanked her greatly. Next, she instructed me to lay on the ground and she began trampling me with those spiky stilletos. She applies the pressure of one foot/leg when standing but will place both feet on me if she's seated. She told me to start kissing the bottom of her stilletos and then allowed me to suck each heel. This was followed by steady pressure of the sharp heel and sole into parts of my body. S asked if there was anywhere else I wanted trampled, I asked if she would step on my dick. She began laughing and said she didn't want to hurt me, but placed her stilleto sole on my dick as it was flopped back towards my stomach very erect. She continued giggling as she pressed into my dick and I moaned out loud as to how great it felt. Next, she told me to get on the bed and she sat in front of me. "Start massaging my feet." I got right to it and began massaging her beautiful feet, still naked. She snickered, "It's funny that your completely naked and I'm wearing clothes." I don't even think she meant to say something so hot and sexual to me, it sounded more like an observation to her but wow that turned me on so much more. After she was content with the massage, she began ordering me to kiss her feet and suck her toes. When she felt me sneaking smells in between each kiss, she asked if I was cheating. I admitted I was and asked her "Goddess may I please smell your feet?" With a smile on her face, she thought about it for a second and said yes. Her feet don't usually have a strong smell to them but I sniffed them hard and took in her wonderful aroma. Once S was ready to move on, she told me she was ready for sex and she climbed on top of me. It was tough to not cum as my early ejaculations have become a problem since I started chastity. Thankfully, I held out long enough for S to have a powerful orgasm which I followed with my own soon after. After we cleaned up and got ready for bed, she told me how great her orgasm was. I wonder if playfully dominating me turns her on more than she would admit, who knows but a guy can dream right?

My wife is too good to me. I hope to be even better to her today, tomorrow, and forever. I'm now locked until Tuesday morning before I go to work.

-Pasta

 

Thought I'd share a very quick moment that happened today. I was using the bathroom and of course had to sit while peeing. S walked in and caught me using a little piece of toilet paper to wipe the tip of the cage. She laughed out loud and asked if I was using toilet paper to clean myself. I was embarrassed but answered her. I asked why she laughed, she simply said, "no reason" and walked away still giggling.

Now personally, I'm not into sissification, but the humiliation of my Wife walking in and catching me behaving like a female would was quite sexual to me and I enjoyed it.

-Pasta

 

Hello all,
It's been almost a year since I've been around. Long story short, S and I had a misunderstanding that took much too long to recover from (Not kink related). As always, I blame myself for failure to communicate efficiently with my Wife. During that time, I decided to give up chastity since I felt there was no point in trying to keep it up without S as my KH. This was not discussed at all with her, but there was no way she was going to entertain chastity if other areas of our marriage were lacking. To be clear, the chastity plan and FLR were fairly vanilla, so there were no contracts or hard expectations that were being broken. And so 2021 was a long sexless year with zero pleasure or fun for either of us. I went back to chronic masturbation over the same old femdom videos I always watched, all while our FLR progress fell by the wayside. Don't get me wrong, we got over the fight and continued living our normal family life, with some amazing high points (bought a beautiful new home), but the nuts and bolts of what could've been a wonderful FLR wasn't there.

About a month ago, while laying in bed, S and I had an impromptu talk about everything that happened and how it effected our marriage. S had polished off a bottle of wine before this conversation which probably pushed her to bring it up. As mentioned in an earlier post, S is very naturally dominant but vanilla at the same time so it was probably hard for her to bring up this difficult conversation. She urged me to tell her what was currently missing from our lives that had worked so well months ago. I was hopeful that she was hinting at chastity, but I didn't want to be wrong and bring that topic up if she wasn't even thinking about it. So playing naive, I asked her what she meant. I wish I remembered exactly how she said this next part, but for the life of me I can't recall the exact quote. She explained that she loved the progress we made earlier in the year when we were practicing chastity. She knew that my return to masturbating so often kept me lazy, unromantic, and emotionally unavailable to her. She was completely right. She reminded me of how great our sex and communication was during those times, which they both were awesome. Our previous chastity plan was not set up to deny me ejaculations, but rather to control all unauthorized masturbation and ejaculations. S likes PIV sex and prefers it a couple times a week, therefore, the idea was to keep me wearing a chastity cage until she was ready for sex, even if that sex was often.

I couldn't believe my ears, S was practically scolding me for having stopped being in chastity all these months. Cage or no cage, she didn't care how it happened, as long as I was committed to her control over my orgasms. She even told me, "You used to give me foot massages every single night, you know that gets me in the mood every time!" As someone with a huge foot fetish, this was unbelievable to hear from her, she wanted me to serve her feet again! Eventually our conversation ended and we both fell asleep, but I had a fire lit under my ass to fix what I caused.

The next morning, when the kids were preoccupied, I quickly slipped on the holy trainer that was stashed away for too long. I walked up to S, gave her the key, and submissevely asked her to lock me up. (S never applied the cage on me, she just wanted to be the one to lock and unlock). She was surprised to see the device on me and happily locked my dick for the first time in about 8 months or so. The comfort of having the cage back on felt great. I knew this was more than just chastity, this was getting back to a FLR that worked so well for us. A couple nights later, I respectfully brought up my chastity to her and asked how this this time around would be. S reminded me of what worked for her and that was the way it would be:
I will be locked on my weekends and unlocked during work days (for good reason);
We will have PIV sex whenever she wants it, even if that's multiple times a week;
I will never masturbate or ejaculate without her approval;
I will do what is asked of me without complaining or putting it off;
She is the boss, end of discussion;
Foot massages most nights (unless valid reason not to)
I must work on my communication, which is much easier when our understanding of our roles is applied;
Everything else in life is pretty normal and vanilla, we both know that she's in charge and that's that.

It's been about a full month of our second attempt at this and we have had great sex three times with 3 intense ejaculations. She has Her orgasms first of course. As much as I wish she would keep me chaste for longer periods, I will do what my Wife expects of me. We've been very happy this last month and I hope to keep it going this time. She has agreed to purchase some new toys for play time that she knows I've been wanting, so hopefully that will happen soon. My wonderful Wife is good to me and rewards me with femdom fun when She believes I deserve it. Till next time..

-Pasta

 

This last weekend, S and I decided to stop by an adult store after finishing a date night. S knew I've been wanting to try anal toys and was on board with it. She selected one of those beginner kits that includes four different types of trainer toys. She also selected a vibrating cock ring, ball gag, and whip to add to our humble impact collection. After getting home (babysitter had put kids to sleep), I was very eager to try out the new toys. I had won a silly bet earlier in the day and my wager was receiving a foot job from S. Quick reminder, S and I live a vanilla version of chastity, it's not a rule or frowned upon for me to not request sexual gratification. To be fair, I don't request much of anything at all since I much prefer to do whatever S wants, but the bet was friendly and she didn't mind the wager. So after ripping the package open, I held them in my hand and was really excited but also nervous to plug myself. I had never in my life done this but have increasingly wanted to try it. With S as my coach, she lubed the toys and helped me insert the first one. I'm sure you're all familiar with these starter packs, they're quite small. They slid into me easily, even with my virgin hole, but I loved the feeling of having it in. After some play, I tried each one, including the biggest one. I quicklybrealized I could realistically handle bigger toys. None of this is sexually exciting to S, but she smiled as I tried each toy in front of her. She was very supportive and didn't make me feel weird. I was hoping to find that amazing p-spot with the vibrator, but couldn't for the life of me quite get it. It all felt great vibrating inside me but maybe I need to practice more. I joked that I would love for her to peg me one day, she gave me that "yeah right" face since I know she's not really interested in that, but a guy can dream. After the anal toys, she demanded a foot massage from me, this is her nightly ritual and doesn't let me off for many reasons. I gave her a long sensual massage and loved every second of it. Finally, she was ready for a footjob. She sits on the end of the bed and I lay on the ground, this is her preferred setup. Cage off and I was rock hard. She finished me in probably less than 5 minutes. I had an intense orgasm and busted all over her feet (she allowed this). I was hopeful she would tell me to lick up her feet, but I know that's still something to work towards. It was a great way to finish a great night and I kissed and thanked her many times. I have a good feeling it will be about a month until I get any kind of fun. S will certainly want sex at some point, but the selfish footjobs and such are defintely not common occurrences (footjob edging would be amazing though!).

Our chastity journey is still very young and not totally figured out yet, but I've been an obedient husband and S loves that. Never in our marriage have I been so submissive to her and I really think she's enjoying it. I don't know what the ceiling is for her KH limits. She doesn't really tease me or enforces my lock up, she just expects that I'll take care of that. I know I have a lot to work on still. Maybe in time she will become more comfortable as a dominate and be strict with aspects of chastity. I love her regardless.

Anyone with a vanilla Wife, what worked to get her comfortable in becoming more dominate? I know there's no "one answer fits all", just curious.

-Pasta

 

I agree. My Wife usually asks me nicely to do something for her, but as of lately, she's just been telling me to do things. Like you said, I think she's starting to understand I really do enjoy it, even non-sexual tasks. Last night after telling me to rub her feet, I immediately went to the end of the bed and jokingly said "give me those feet!" S haulted before taking her feet out from under the blanket and confidently told me, "Say Please". I'm not sure if she was trying to be bossy or not, but I sure loved it!

 

Wanted to share something that could/should be posted elsewhere, but I suppose I'd rather keep my journal flowing here:

Last weekend, S wrote me a specific list of chores to do. I was thrilled and got them all done. She had verbally reminded me the day prior of another task she needed done. Without getting specific, it's an easy chore but something I really don't like doing. Once I finished the list, I remembered that I was supposed to do that one last item for her. Very selfishly and NOT submissive of me, I chose to not do that last chore. A day or so passed and S asked me if I had done that chore she asked. In total honesty, I told her I remembered she asked me to do it, but out of laziness, I did not do it and apologized. S was not truly mad at me but she was visibly shocked. She knows damn well that in our newly formed-FLR, I am supposed do whatever she instructs me to do. This conversation was in the middle of us cooking dinner together so it was fairly light-hearted. I was embarrassed and promised her I would do it but it was very obvious that S did not like my disobedience. Here's the part that I wish I had some help with. I casually said to her, "I should be punished." I knew this was a risky move, but I said it not to top from the bottom, but since S is pretty vanilla, more of a suggestion as to how to handle insubordination. She didn't seem offput by my comment so I felt okay about it. She said, "oh yea like what?" This is where I knew my place and would not tell her HOW to punish, merely that a punishment was suitable for my actions - or lack thereof. We both chuckled at the idea of a nice whipping as a punishment since S knows I very much like impact and that would not be a real punishment. She would never lay a serious whipping on me to cause true pain because she just isn't there yet and I respect her limits. So I told her I would send her a link of what other wives have incorporated into their FLRs as punishment. She seemed pretty receptive to that and the night continued.

Once I had some time, I began searching this site and other sites for lists of punishments but I realized many options were things that S would absolutely not be into. Anything that sounds too aggressive or dominatrix-like wouldn't work for S, at least not yet. Therefore, I've hesitated to find something to send her because I don't want to give her the wrong impression. Could anyone recommend effective punishments more on the vanilla side of things? My first thought was additional chores and suspension of anything pleasurable for me as she sees fit. Any other ideas that don't involve pegging me to oblivion (I could only wish), making me stand naked in the corner (we have kids), etc? Or any reading that doesn't come off as too much fantasy? Lastly, longer chastity lockup wouldn't work either because we still have regular sex weekly when she wants it so she won't starve herself of sex for my punishment. Thank you all!

 

I ended up asking S very politely if she would be interested in some keyholder reading content that includes guidance on chastity, FLR, and T&D. I wanted to be careful not to offend S or be over bearing. She told me she was open to reading anything I send her but she reminded me that I'm the one who needs to stay in this long term. She explained that historically, I've always been the one to be moody, uninterested, and have overall bad behavior. This is absolutely true and I acknowledged it. Since I've been in regular chastity though, about 2 months now, we've both noticed how much of a better husband I've been, not to mention, internally much happier and not moody. I have to say, the science of how chastity affects us positively is spot on; at least in my short-term experience.

I was pretty nervous to send her links to some various articles, tumblrs, and ebooks since some of the content is much kinkier than what she's accustomed to, so I gave her a fair warning to browse and skip anything that was too aggressive for her liking. I offered a wine date this weekend where we could discuss any topics, questions, or concerns she may have. She happily agreed to do that.

I think what has helped me introduce these topics to S over the last few months and even during our brief stint last year, was me being respectful, not expecting her to do anything at all she doesn't like, explaining how this isn't just a sex game but truely good for our marriage, being honest, open, and very importantly, being realistic about what we can apply to our family. With kids in the house, there are many things we just can't do or say. I really hope S likes some of what she agreed to read, especially long-term training and punishment to keep me a good submissive husband. I'll keep you all updated.

-Pasta

 

Yes, that's very true. I would quite literally beg S to keep me locked up. Funny how we find such comfort and safety in our little cages.

 

3 to 4 months of chastity sounds like a great challenge. With my Wife wanting PIV sex weekly, I don't see how that will happen. I guess we'll just have to see.

 

Oh I could only hope that she would get to that level one day where she persists that I do not cum during sex, what a dream that would be! I've hinted at the option of her using a toy or strap instead of me, I don't think she was too keen on that, but in time she might be open to it. Slow and steady wins the race, right?

 

Sorry to spam this thread this morning. Couldn't help but share what just happened.

S just went out with some friends and before leaving she called me into the bedroom. I was pleasantly surprised when she pulled out a small necklace and told me, "I found a necklace to wear your key." I had mentioned before that some KHs often wear the key, seems like she's on board with that. The two keys, up until this moment had been placed on her nightstand. Now one is on her neck and she told me she will hide the other key for emergency purposes. When she saw how surprised and happy I was. She said, "That's the point isn't it? I wear the key." So now here I am at home, locked up with virtually no way of unlocking if I wanted to (Not that I would cheat), but it adds a whole level of excitement when my Wife is actively involved. Enjoy your weekend all, I know I will.

-Pasta

 

Hello again,
It's been about a month since my last update, and unfortunately, things have taken a turn for the worse. Last month, S was really on board with my chastity and even wore the key on her necklace while she went out with her girlfriend. Things were really progressing and S kept reminding me how great our relationship had become with all the affection, communication, attentiveness, massages, etc etc. She even told me she planned to sexually dominate me more often (something I usually have to request) since she was so pleased with my behavior. Then, one day, she told me she didn't want me to lock up since we are actively trying for another child and sex is very much planned in advance for that reason. I'm 100% good with the sex and being unlocked for thst, as it's what we both want. However, although we are very sex-heavy for a few days out of the month, the remainder of the month there is no sex at all. Naturally, I have gone back to my old ways and have completely ditched the model husband efforts that I so recently excelled at - not on purpose by any means, just naturally I suppose. Masturbation, lack of patience, and laziness have set in again. I'm feeling confused at this point. We've had some tiffs the last month which I know I can attribute to the effects of not being chaste. I know for damn sure that S prefers my chaste self over my not-chaste self, but she doesn't exactly care for the cage and the kink it represents. I understand there WILL be sex since we're planning to grow our family, that's not the issue at all, I just wonder why she has not made any mention to remain in chastity for the duration of the month in between planned sex days. I know the feed back will be to talk to her about this, and I will. I never like to have to remind her to "play along" in the chastity game, as I know that would get annoying quick. She must see the negative effects of me uncaged, and I know she rather have me on my best behavior. I truly don't do any of this on purpose, but to me, it's such an obvious fix. I don't believe self-caging is the answer though since she explicitly told me not to lock up. Maybe she thinks I've shown her a glimpse of what "could be" but she thinks I can manage to be that without the cage? I don't know, I should talk to her about this, but I don't want her to think that I'm putting chastity above our family plan because that's not true at all. Any input? I'm in need of some reassurance or advice. Would love to hear from the dads on this thread who may have dealt with this before.
-Pasta

 

Back with better news. I'm now back in chastity after about 3 months of no cage. Last weekend, I self locked without S knowing. I did this because I knew I had to stop masturbating and get back on track to what was truly important. I crave so badly for S to enforce my chastity but she hadn't brought it up ever since she told me not to lock up during baby-making weekend in January. I felt as if she didn't tell me to get back in the cage afterwards because she wasn't into it. So I decided to not bother her about it and didnt communicate it either. Took it upon myself to refocus and relock. So after self locking last weekend and self honor system throughout the work week when im not caged, I told her late one night, after a quick toe sucking session, that I was caged last weekend. She was defintely surprised, not in a bad way, but just surprised that I had done so. In a bold tone, she stated, "You didn't tell me." I could see the wheels in her head spinning as she turned back to the TV and remained silent. I wasn't sure if she was upset or just unphased. I went to sleep shortly afterwards.
The topic wasn't brought up again until this morning, about 3 or four days after I told her in bed that night. As she was getting ready to go out wine tasting with friends, I humbly approached her and told her I planned to lock up this weekend. She very reassuringly said OK. I asked her if she wished to lock me, and she said Yes, tell me when you're ready. Of course I got hard right there knowing that S was on board. It took me about ten minutes to get the damn thing on with the blood flowing through me. But eventually I got it on and presented her the key from her drawer. (I put it back there after self locking last weekend). Having done this before, she took the key from me and locked that device up. I thanked her and kissed her passionately. She put the key on a long necklace and told me she was wearing it out for the day while wine tasting. I told her she didn't have to do that if she didn't want but she said she wanted to. Her shirt was low cut so she wore a longer necklace to hide the key. She hates the look of the holy trainer key and doesn't want it visible for that reason, otherwise she doesn't care if it were visible.
We talked about chastity for a few minutes. She asked me why I decided to lock again. I gave a somewhat vague answer and she demanded I tell her why I locked up. So I explained the reasons I felt chasitty was necessary. She thanked me for putting her first and for giving up the ability to masturbate. I asked her if she liked the thought of me unable to masturbate. With a huge smile she said "Hell yea!" She explained she can tell when I'm not in chastity based on my attitude change and actually said she prefers me this way as opposed to jerking off all the time and being distant. My caged dick throbbed at her saying that she wants me locked up. I then asked her why she never told me to get back into chastity after the baby-making weekend. She asked if that was the expectation that she enforces my lock up instead of me just doing it. I told her that I preferred if she enforced my chastity but that I could just present her with the key at the beginning of the weekend for her to lock me. She agreed that would be better and less of a burden. I understand that my dick isn't the main thing on her mind as a full time working mother with a thousand things to do. She then asked if I'm capable of wearing the cage through the night, almost in a way expecting that I should. I told her I purchased some cream that should help me with the ball burning that makes it so hard to sleep with. She said good and left it at that.
So now I'm locked up with no key while she is out drinking with her friends. I can only hope that she is feeling frisky tonight and wants to play, even if that means PIV, which is her preference. 7 days since my last orgasm and although I'm ready to blow, I would really love if she denied me pleasure and just focuse on her pleasure. Maybe she will let me use the vibrator on her. We'll see. I
I do plan on discussing lifestyle chastity with her more in depth this weekend, especially with her relaxed over some drinks. I'd like to confirm what she expects of me in chastity and allow her to let me know what works and doesn't work for her. We've had this talk before when I introduced chastity, but I think it may have been a lot at once. I'm hoping this could be the last of the talks since I do not want to burden her anymore. With a little more experience this time around, I'm curious what her thoughts are regarding her role as my keyholder since I now know for sure that she wants me locked up. I know her vanilla mindset isn't going anywhere and she's nowhere near wanting to peg me or deny me for a long time, but maybe she'll grow into a more confident keybolder the more I serve her and treat her how she deserves to be treated. I'll update after our talk. Wish me luck please!
-Pasta

 

Last night, after S had been drinking with her girlfriends all day, she arrived home to one of her favorite home-cooker meals and dessert that I prepared. Between the both of us, we polished off a delicious bottle of wine with dinner. She was giving me hints that we were going to have sex after kids went to sleep. She was in a great mood, obviously maintaining a buzz all day as well, I figured she would want to be frisky. I was on day 7 of no orgasm and had just been locked that morning for the weekend. I was wondering if I would orgasm or if I could just pleasure her instead.
After kids went to sleep, I asked her if I could massage her feet. She raised her voice, nearly shouting at me, "Oh you're rubbing my feet. You don't have a choice!" She then pointed to the end of the bed and told me to get there. I love the rare few times where she isn't afraid to be demanding and direct with me. I gave her a sensual foot massage and after I finished, we enjoyed a make out session like we were teenagers. Long passionate kissing is something S loves and wants often, but something I don't always care to do when not in chastity. After a few short days of not touching myself, I want to ravage my beautiful Wife and kiss her all over her body. She loves this so much.
That kissing turned into us both being naked. The only thing still on her was her necklace with key that was dangling over me. She took it off her neck and unlocked the cage. The tube sprung off so fast as I was extremely turned on. Took a little bit of careful maneuvering to take the ring off. We then spent the next hour having some of the best sex we have ever had. I could not believe I was able to last that long, but I'm glad I did since it was such great sex. We took out the vibrating cock ring for the first time and we both couldn't believe how powerful the vibration was. From that point it only took a minute or so for S to have a powerful orgasm. She asked me what I wanted to do for my orgasm, I asked her if she wanted me to not orgasm and lock back up to keep the progress going. She said no you are going to cum tonight. I'm defintely not going to argue with that. I began licking her asshole for a little bit and then we continued sex while smelling and sucking her toes. I ejaculated like a volcano inside of her. She couldn't believe how much cum there was and laughed when I said that's just one week's worth.
We then settled down after an hour of intense sex and fell asleep. I didn't lock up since it was just late and we were tired. As I finish my coffee now while typing this, I can't wait to go clean myself and the cage, and have my wonderful Wife relock me.
S loves the chemistry we have when im chaste and I love being chaste for her. I hope this continues long term, even if my orgasms are as frequent as she wants them to be. Ateast every orgasm is solely for her and not wasted on porn and my hand. I hope that in time, she begins to demand my chastity as the norm, and grows into her inner domme that I know she has. Regardless, I'm so lucky to have my Wife as my Keyholder.