Happy Wife, Happy Life

So after the last orgasm on a Sunday night, I went to work for the week uncaged on honor system since I cannot be locked at work for good reason. I typically work 4 days a week so the remaining three days will be locked. S texted me one of my work days and told me to look up penis sleeve/extenders and send them to her for review. This first came up during our talks of how to keep her having regular sex and orgasms while keeping me unable to cum. She's not a fan of me wearing a strap-on so she decided a penis sleeve was needed. She wants me to have minimal pleasure during sex. This completely derailed my focus at work. Good thing I was sitting at my desk because I instantly got an erection. Later that night I sent her products to review and she liked the Vixen Colossus and ordered it.

The change that I've seen is truly amazing. 2 years ago when I first introduced chastity, she was very vanilla and not really into it. She held my key but still wasn't interested in the big picture. Slowly, she started to see the benefits of keeping me constantly aroused and started dominating me in the bedroom. I loved seeing her inner-domme come out. Then one day chastity stopped altogether and I thought it would never return. Now here we are many months later and S has proposed it to me and wants to change our marriage dynamic to an FLR. I'm not sure what she read or what kind of research she has done, but it certainly changed her views. The best part is that I didn't have to annoy her or top from the bottom like I had in the past. This is all her making the choice to better our relationship. I love it and I love her.

Over this last weekend, I was all over her in bed. I couldn't stop kissing her and she was loving it. She unlocked me both nights and wanted sex but told me I would not be cumming. Saturday night she had me put on the vibrating cock ring that she loves so much. She orgasmed quickly, smiled, and said "all done, goodnight" It was amazing. Then Sunday night, same thing happened but without the cock ring. We had to stop a few times because my urge to cum was so intense. I held out long enough for her to orgasm and I was in the heat of the moment. I begged her to let me cum, it was the animal in me that wanted it so badly. She quickly unmounted me and strictly told me No! I kept begging her, she laughed and told me, "youre hopeless. It's only been one week." She went back to her side of the bed and I laid there wondering how the hell I got here. I'm extremely horny and actively being denied by my wife. Still, it was amazing and I'm glad she told me no.

This morning while drinking our coffee, I apologized for begging last night. She told me she was glad I communicated that with her and that she knew she could not give in to me because it would show weakness. She told me, "maybe next weekend". I pledged that I would do my best to not beg anymore and that when she says no, then it's a definite no. She agreed. Moments later she told me that the new cage was being delivered today and that she wanted me to try it on immediately to check size.

Last note for the day. S has advised me that my punishments for bad behavior will consist of extended days of chastity, writing assignments, additional chores, and physical punishments to include spanking and CBT. She told me that she has began to actually enjoy spanking me hard with her paddle. We have had a few nights of funishment in the last year despite our lack of sex. During the last spanking a few weeks ago, she gave me multiple very hard swats that exceeded my "fun" threshold. I didn't stop her because I was secretly glad that she was finally using real strength behind her swats. The result was that my butt was bruised for a week. She found it amusing that she bruised me. She told me that the reason for her paddling me so hard was because she was unleashing her frustration from the last big argument we had days prior to that. Without realizing it, she escalated a fun play session to an actual painful punishment that left me bruised. When she told me about her motivation to inflict pain, I thanked her and told her I wouldn't make that same mistake again that led tonour argument. The more I think about it, I really believe that precise moment of punishing me and getting me to admit of my wrongdoing was the catalyst to her seeking an FLR. The timing of it compared to her proposal is far too coincidental. Maybe I'm wrong, but it doesn't matter at this point. Something onside her has been unleashed and I'm not going to question it. While browsing CBT tools, she loved the idea of the ball crusher plate and she thinks she would use regularly. Till next time.

-Pasta

 

Still waiting for the package to arrive. I'll update after I try it on. The holy trainer kills me during the night so we're really hoping for something that I can handle 24/7 because she really doesn't want me out of the cage for any reason besides work. I don't want to get into the work thing much to keep anonymity, but there's a good reason to not be caged at work, and S agrees. Otherwise I would be locked every single day. I hope that her fire doesn't burn out. I've lurked around here long enough to know that sometimes the fire burns too quickly. We shall see. Thanks for the support!

-Pasta

 

Cogman, I know there are people in every type of industry who wear the cage to work and I admire their tenacity. For me and the work that I do, it's really something I don't want to risk ever being exposed. I can honestly say that I've never snuck a quick one at work anyways, so I won't be getting myself ino trouble lol.

So last night, S and I finished watching Avatar 2 (good movie) and when it was done, she looked at me and said okay come here before I change my mind. We started kissing passionately and that quickly led to sex. As horny as I've been the last week, she has been VERY sexual herself. She told me I was going to cum tonight for being good all week. She hopped on and things were taking a little longer for her than usual. She whispered to me, "go get the ring" referring to our vibrating cock ring. I couldn't believe my ears, usually I'm the one who suggests toys and vibrators, now she is! I ran and grabbed it and put it on. When she remounted, I looked into her eyes and saw the pleasure hitting her. It didn't take long from there. After she was satisfied, it was my turn and it also didn't take long for me to erupt and it was wonderful. It was also wonderful that S orgasmed three times in three days, an extremely rare occurrence. I can't help but wonder what will happen when her Vixen penis sleeve comes in. It might mean way less actual sex for me and much more for her!

Anyways, I received my new Kink3d Cobra N+ yesterday and I'm very disappointed that it just isn't the right design for me. It's incredibly light and actually quite comfortable as a fit. However the lock area creates much more of a bulge than I'd like for everyday use. It didn't look so bulky in the photos but when it was on, it pertruded so much through atheltic shorts and sweat pants. I suppose it's back to the Holy Trainer until we figure something else out. On a side note, I loved the downsize of the small HTv4 to the Cobra N+, I felt nice and secure in there. Did anyone with the cobra have this same problem??
-Pasta

 

Well, it didn't take long. It really didn't take long at all this time. I'm ashamed to say that I've already cheated and I feel absolutely horrible about it. Yesterday after coming home from work, the family was out finishing some grocery shopping. I had the house to myself, something that almost never happens. The difference however, was that since it was a work day, I was not locked up. I cleaned the house up a bit and then made myself comfortable, that's when it happened. I started jerking off lightly just to feel that nice sensation but that soon turned to opening up pornhub and getting very aroused. I knew I was on the path to trouble, guilt, and betrayal, and for some reason, I kept going. It felt too good and I didn't want to stop even though I knew it was wrong. Finally, it happened and it felt amazing. But that feeling very quickly went away and I was left for horrible emotions. I cleaned myself up and continued cleaning the house.

Later, after kids were in bed, S and I were in bed talking about things and I had a lump in my throat. She knew something was off. I felt like a child who got caught stealing a candy bar from the store, but much much worse. I told S that I made a mistake today. She looked at me sternly and asked how bad? I replied, the biggest mistake. She became very angry with me. She didn't yell, she didn't put me down, but she was so angry. I told her I was sorry, but I don't even think those words mattered to her. She told me she had a feeling that something happened while I was alone today since the house was not as clean as it should've been. She said she knew that I was "preoccupied". She reminded me that we agreed any unauthorized masturbation/cumming would be an automatic 2 weeks extension of no orgasms for me, but that wasn't her punishment. She told me she would think about my actual punishment and let me know when she was ready. For the first time in my marriage, I'm scared of what my wife will do. I've seen her mad and I've seen her disappointed, but I've never seen her this way with the control to punish me physically and mentally that we agreed to. This is uncharted water for me and I don't know what to expect. Her last words to me were "You're weak, I hope it was worth it".

I don't know when my punishment will come, but I'll humbly update my situation. I'm starting to think that I might have an addiction and I need to break this bad habit. I feel horrible.

-Pasta in trouble

 

Feeling kinda down today. S has been adament about me remaining in chastity and enjoys the act of keyholding. She proudly wears the key daily and even out with her girlfriends. I sometimes ask her if she would tuck the necklace and key under her shirt but she tells me no and keeps it visible for everyone to see. She doesn't want me unlocking for any reasons that she doesn't approve of and has become quite authoritative in all areas of our marriage. All of this is wonderful and I'm very lucky to have her. However, last night we were discussing how we both felt and she acknowledged that she has been "locking and forgetting" due to how busy we are in our normal lives. There hasent been any teasing or denying at all, something she has read about as being an important part of chastity. She added that she hasn't been pleased with my behavior because she was under the impression that switching our marriage to an FLR with enforced chastity would help me transition to a very submissive husband, based on her research. She has expected my level of submissiveness to be much higher than it actually is and doesn't know what to do about it. She is very busy and doesn't have much time for training/correction/punishments. She mentioned that one orgasm every 2 or 3 weeks hasn't put me in the correct mindset and because of that, she isn't sure if chastity is even working for us anymore. She said she will think about it and determine where we go from here, which might be stopping chastity altogether.

I feel crushed because I truly feel that I've made a lot of progress over the last 2 months since she requested enforced chastity. I'm not perfect and there's a lot of ways for me to improve my behavior, but I can't pretend actual submissiveness if I'm only half way there. Does that make sense?? I don't want to stop what we're trying to do here. I want to be totally submissive to my wife and be everything she wants me to be. I just have a difficult time truely converting to the model husband for her.

If anyone has real advice, please let me know. I realize how lucky I am to be in this situation and I don't want to ruin it. Maybe I should recommend going much longer without orgasms to help get me in a more sub mindset? How long without an orgasm does it take you guys to achieve full sub? Has anyone been in a similar situation as me? How did you press through it? Hope to hear back from you all. Thanks.

-Pasta

 

I appreciate your reply! It's not harsh, and although you're not familiar with our journey (I don't post too much), I've shared the same thoughts as you. I do believe that both husband and Wife need to be on the same page and each put in effort. I'm trying to figure out if it's S who needs to do more on her end, or for me to stop complaining, realize I have a bit of an uphill battle, but be gracious of what I do have that many guys don't. Thanks again your input!

 

Thank you for reply. Part of my dilemma is I don't want to top from the bottom, so I don't want to tell her how to accomplish T&D, nor do I want to complain that she's "not doing it right." However, she has told me numerous times that her brain isn't wired the same way mine is and she's not wrong about that. I've been a kinkster for most of my life, while S has only been introduced to the wonderful world of kink more recently. Therefore, thinking of ways to tease me isn't something she naturally ponders. I have to give S a ton of credit for being willing to jump into this with me, since it's not "normal". She told me earlier today that we are going to continue our talk tonight about our FLR and so I created a small humble list of very quick and easy things we can do to ensure my need is also being met, things like the quick mid day cage check and verbal reminders. It's also probably worth experimenting with longer durations between orgasms as well to get me in a more submissive mindset. Hope our talk goes well, I'll update in the morning.
-Pasta

 

After S and I chatted last night, I checked CM quick and saw your post, which I read aloud for S. She smiled and appreciated your feedback and willingness to DM. She hasn't come around to wanting to make an account here yet. If she ever chooses to, I'll be sure to steer her your way.

 

Last night when S and I got into bed, she quickly reminded me that we needed to finish our talk from last night and told me it would be better if we had that talk while I rubbed her feet. I absolutely agreed and rushed to her feet as we began to talk. I was sure to let her know how that very simple but direct instruction for me to rub her feet was EXACTLY the type of confidence and attention I felt was needed in our FLR. Side note, I don't know why I care or why this matters, but I much prefer the term Wife Led Marriage over Female Led Relationship, probably because I respect the marriage part of the term. Anyways...

S began to explain that after sleeping on it and thinking throughout the day, she definitely did not want to revert to pre-chastity life. She acknowledged the progress in our communication, trust, intimacy, frequency of sex, and overall happiness. She knew that ditching the chastity cage and WLM dynamic would negatively affect what we've both worked so hard on. She added that we both had a lot to improve on, all valid points that I agree with. So concern #1 of potentially stopping this dynamic was solved first and foremost, chastity and WLM will absolutely continue. Then she explained that she thought she had greatly improved her teasing over the last two months since she has allowed many impromptu foot worshipping opportunities, some from her own initiative, and some from me asking to worship her feet. A good example is after her exercise, she sometimes will take her sneakers off and have me come kneel so she could rub her sweaty feet on my face that I absolutely love doing. Another example is I asked her to lay under her desk to have my face used as foot stool while she worked and was on a zoom meeting. I literally almost bursted in the cage when that happened. Regardless, she realized that although she has made progress, she knew she could improve and wanted me to help her understand what other easy things she could do during our normal busy lives to keep me teased and horny. I provided her with my ideas that I had listed in my phone notes and she mostly liked what I gave her. She requested I send her those notes so she can have them in her phone. She agreed that punishments, both physical and not physical, were necessary to correct my bad behavior and she told me that punishment spankings were going to happen. We own a paddle that she likes and she recommended a wooden spoon would be incorporated as well as her thick sandals and belts. I won't bore you all with other items on the list, but they're the usual mid day cage checks, cute and flirty things she can say to me, random foot worship, kneeling to her when receiving chores, etc. (the spanking wasn't part of the quick and easy things, but it was talked about). S told me that us seeing a dominatrix as a couple for a coaching lesson wasn't out of the question either and that would be something she may consider in the future. Woah!!

The last thing we talked about was duration of chastity. I explained that it would be beneficial if we experimented with longer lockups upwards of a month or more to see how long it takes me to reach optimal subissiveness. She liked that idea and we agreed that me cumming would strictly be reward based for prolonged great behavior and submissiveness, as opposed to our previously agreed upon 14 day timer. She knew that I anticipated a release at the two week mark and she didn't like that. From now on, I will expect anywhere from 3-8 weeks of chastity and I will never know when a release is coming. She also agreed that semen consumption would happen if I made a mess on her feet or anywhere other than PIV. I told her that as much as that sounded like a fantasy to me, the reality of actually cleaning up after an orgasm would he horrible for me - she told me that I would do it regardless, I love this Woman.

So after 2.5 years of off-and-on attempts at chastity and WLM, I really like where we're both at mentally. I'll continue to update when I have time. Wish me luck, I may have entered the point of no return.

-Pasta

 

Last night after some light kissing, we decided to have sex. S told me we were too close to baby-making time of the month, and since I'm not snipped yet, and we dont have condoms, she told me that I would be wearing the vixskin colossus sleeve. This would be the very first time that we used this so I was very excited. S wanted to have a drink first, so we each enjoyed a beverage to loosen up. Then we went to the bedroom and got ready. She unlocked me but refused to let me touch myself. I went to put on the sleeve and we realized there was too much gap between my head and the head of the sleeve, which causes it to bend and ultimately makes it unusable. We need to buy the gap filler from Vixskin to make it work right. Before we ceased operations, S managed to get the large head in and I could tell by her face that it was definitely larger than she was used to (me) by a long shot. We both look forward to using the sleeve when the necessary piece arrives.

Feeling frustrated, S told me to go get her vibrator. She told me to lock up and that I was only going to kiss her feet while she used the vibrator on herself. I was more than happy to be involved. I couldn't get the cage back on due to still being erect, so we just proceeded. She started using the toy but after a minute it died. We hadn't charged it in quite some time. We were both so frustrated. I knew I wasn't getting any pleasure that night regardless but I felt frustrated that S couldn't get her orgasm. She's not one for oral or fingers, so that was the end of our night. She told me it was okay and that she doesn't get blue balls like I do. Then she reminded me to get the cage on, this time more sternly. I asked if I could lock up first thing in the morning since my erection wasn't going away yet, she told me absolutely not and said "it's good for you." So I managed to get the cage back on and fell asleep. I need to be more attentive to her toys and make sure they're ready to go at any time.
-Pasta

 

Quick update to share. Last night, S had asked me to put away a one dollar bill that has been on the counter for about a week. She's asked me 3 times to put it away and I honestly just kept forgetting. So last night when she told me for the fourth time to put it in my wallet, I told her that it was fine right where it was. I wasn't being bratty on purpose, but S also has a tendency to leave her things out even when I ask her to put it away, so I was playing her game a bit. She smiled and just said, "Okay." I went to get ready for bed and while using the bathroom, S walked in, this time with no smile and a very stern presence. She reminded me about what it means to obey her and told me, "get in the corner!" I was kinda shocked because S has never actually punished me before. I dared not disobey her this time since I didn't want to make things worse, especially over a lousy dollar bill. Anyways, she was lenient and only gave me 10 minutes. It was quick, but boring, and gave me a little time to reflect and realize that things really are changing this time. Enforced chastity + strict wife + punishment = happy marriage. When I was done, she reminded me to kiss both her feet. I knelt down, planted a kiss on the top of each foot, and said, "Thank you Miss." (She has requested the title of Miss when appropriate to do so). We got in bed and cuddled until we fell asleep. The dollar is now away.

-Pasta

 

I just posted this in "things you never thought you'd hear your vanilla wife say" thread. I felt it was too good to not share in my journal as well.

While recently discussing an upcoming childless tropical vacation, I told her I couldn't wait for all the drunken sex we would have. She furrowed her brow and said, "What sex? You might get sex one time but that's it." I couldn't believe it. I asked if she planned on keeping me locked up, I honestly assumed she would give me that week off from wearing the cage. She then said, "Just because it's vacation doesn't mean you won't be locked up." She was completely serious, not teasing or smiling. My jaw must've hit the ground. Who is this woman and where did my wife go?!?!?

 

We had sex tonight, of course no orgasm for me. It was getting really hard to not explode so I kept telling S I couldn't hold it much longer. She would stop and give me a moment's rest and then keep riding me until the next time I told her I couldn't hold it. We did this numerous times until I told her I literally could not keep going. She smiled and just hopped off my dick. She said, "well I had mine ten minutes ago." S isn't a screamer or loud during sex, many times I don't even know she has orgasmed with the exception of digging her nails into my back. I replied, "why did you let me continue to hold back my orgasm for ten minutes?" Still smiling, she simply said, "because it felt good. Now get the fuck back in the cage." I put the cage back on and felt sorry for myself. I'm beginning to see what it really feels like when they say chastity doesn't actually start until you no longer want to be locked up. Im 67 days into our revamped FLR with 5 orgasms in that time. I'm really horny and want to orgasm so badly. S told me that she won't let me know when my next orgasm will be. This is getting tough.
-Pasta