Does giving or receiving pain turn you on?

I definitely am turned on by pain. My wife isn’t a sadist, but enjoys turning me on and teasing me, so she’s been delivering pain for a few years now. Primarily nipple torture and ball torture, and occasional thrashings with a crop. She has brought me to a pretty high level of pain, but she is reluctant to push me to my limit — I’ve not once used even our “slow down”” safe word, much less the “full stop” word. So I don’t know how much pain still turns me on, yet.

She did say a few months ago that she might let me visit a pro domme but I haven’t pressed the issue yet. I was thinking of suggesting that could be her Xmas gift to me.

 

It’s an interesting paradox. By definition, pain is aversive: it’s something unpleasant that a person wants to avoid. And if it’s not sufficiently unpleasant that I genuinely want to avoid it, then I’d say it isn’t real pain. But what I crave is being put in a position where I can’t avoid it - or a position where the threat of it is sufficiently frightening for it to control my behaviour. So there’s a sort of meta-level where I “enjoy” it.
The same sort of dynamic operates with bondage and chastity. Bondage has to be uncomfortable enough that I long to escape, and secure enough that it’s impossible to do so. Chastity is about wanting to have sexual relief but being trapped (in my case forever) in a state of aching frustration.
Lastly (and this is possibly the root of it all) there’s humiliation. I want to have every shred of dignity stripped away and be ridiculed to the point of tears and beyond. So do I like it? No. Is it what I want? Yes.

 

However, I ought to add this: I only want all this from a woman I desire. No one else should dare to hurt, humiliate or seek to control me in the slightest degree, or I’m highly likely to make them regret it.

 

I enjoy pain in moderation I guess you'd say. The right amount is mind blowing, too much is dreadful. For example a good flogging is perfect, a paddling done too hard hurts too much. Same for prostate toys, the right size at right speed is amazing. Her just ramming a large plug in with no warm up is unbearable. Surprisingly she's turned into a bit of sadist which if being honest I rather enjoy.

 

I enjoy receiving but my wife doesn’t push my boundaries at least not yet.
I’m considering asking her permission to visit a pro domina for my birthday so that she can get instructions on how to push my envelope.

 

Do you already know what her attitude is regarding sex workers/involving 3rd parties? Cos to me this sounds like a recipe for making her feel inadequate.

 

Speaking for my partner, it doesn't turn her on when she uses the paddle but she does find it amusing to watch me jump around when she wacks me, just like when she uses the zapper or after she cuts a green band off my nuts. None of these things actually turns her on but it amuses her which is enough for me to want to do it.

Being paddled certainly doesn't turn me on nor do I like the pain. BUT I always crave her attention whatever form it takes. Particularly from paddling I feel a strange feeling of sexual tension release which is the opposite of being turned on. Sometimes if I am feeling tension even if its non sexual Ill ask for a paddle, though usually only after I haven't had a orgasm for a while so its still tied in there somewhere.

I think that really sums up the whole dom sub thing up, If I knew something like that was actually turning my partner on id love to get savaged......within reason...lol If I knew what that magic button was Id be like a rat pressing the pleasure/pain reward button till I died from over abundance!

 

pain, definitely. my desire for pain in the form of CBT depends a lot on how long i'm locked between milkings. the longer the time, the greater the desire for intense CBT - kinda limited to plumb squeezing for the time being. it make me swoon! lol

 

Turned on by receiving pain, but not by the pain itself. I don’t like pain, find it unpleasant and not arousing, but what is arousing is the demonstration of her power and control over me. The fact that she compels me to endure something that I don’t like is humbling and humiliating in a way that manifests her dominance and intensifies my feeling of submission. It sparks a cognitive dissonance, wherein I am aroused by something I don’t like.

 

My wife has no interest in spanking me though I've asked. It isn't something that appeals to her. Since our rule of thumb is that we'll try anything that is mutually pleasurable to both of us, that rules out spanking.

But she does like teasing me, especially my nipples. I have discovered that one is more responsive to gentle teasing and the other is more responsive to painful teasing. When she teases me and gets me all wired up, it stimulates her and gets her in the mood for her own pleasure. Its the best foreplay for her. So she has started to pinch and twist my nipples, usually near the end of a teasing session, and it always sends a jolt through me. Occasionally, she'll even bite my nipples.

I've discovered that painful stimulation to my nipples gets me very aroused. On two occasions, I've worn nipple clamps for a long enough period of time until my nipples get almost too painful to bear. I've discovered that when I reach that point I'm only a hair trigger away from an orgasm. Very limited touch brings me to the edge in under 30 seconds.

I'm not sure I would have that response from any other body parts. None of them seem so closely wired to my little guy as do my nipples. The only other body part that produces a strong, arousing effect are my ears when my wife kisses and tongues them. I don't even want to try experimenting with pain any where near my ears.

 

I was really surprised to find that I love really very severe pain being inflicted upon my balls. Never fantasised about anything remotely masochistic, and discovered that having pain inflicted there was amazing only by chance.

I get hard when she inflicts the most severe stretching, crushing and impacts on my balls.

Pain in other areas works my submissive head space, but doesn't turn me on physically like a severe ball busting can.

My wife has struggled to accept hurting me, but she has gained acceptance and confidence tremendously over the last 4 months.

 

I`m a lover not a fighter and humiliation is more appealing for me.

 

I'm a receiver.......of everything i guess

 

I enjoy pain
Nipple clamping by wife, tweaking and pinching
Also she uses a riding crop on my arse and balls
Love it

 

It is the main reason We turned our downstairs into a complete dungeon with a cross and a spanking bench and such. The mistress is good at the art of whip and floggers canes, paddles, knifes needles. As well as her friends. I have always been a lucky pain slut and slave in the fact we always have a place for friends after the munch or play party. Or any day could find me strapped to the cross or bench for fun.

 

Sobbing, sniffling, begging and pleading gets me wet. When I let him off my lap and send him to The Corner, I have to "be strong, Miss Cecilia" for the 30 min to an hour of Corner Time I've decreed.

When I've had him "service" me immediately after letting him off my lap, it hasn't taken long to bring me off. Sometimes I'll do that then send him to The Corner.

 

From the day I moved in with Mistress, the first rules were keeping a daily journal, and She had me carry a misdeed's notebook on my person at all times. Every Friday night would become a review of the notebook to discuss my misdeeds, we work together and would go over them, correct any new ones and look at any problem areas. The ritual was always after I served dinner, did clean up would strip leaving my clothes on the basement landing and report downstairs to Her sitting in her chair waiting, most times holding one of her canes. There would be no fantasy rituals like one sees in movies or reads about, Mistress would be wearing the comfort clothes she changed into after work. Once punishment Friday was complete, the book was clean, it is a fresh week to start over. Ma'am, reading your post made me understand how some of the most intense oral I have preformed on Mistress have been punishment Friday or corner time, always how it finished. Thank you for sharing, helping a slave understand.
Slave phoenix.

 

I am turned on by the pain my wife inflicts on me for her pleasure. She knows pain gets and keeps my attention. I'm more turned on by extended suffering, though. Like chastity, like predicament bondage. My all time favorite is chastity, though, followed by an extended mouth soaping. Having the soap tied into my mouth like a gag while she lectures me is just, wow!

 

having soap in the mouth is really really horrid.

 

It is awful but it gets her point across/

 

Yes that’s exactly it, very well expressed.

 

My favourite type of inflicted pain is done by my Mistresses teeth, either on my sensitive nipples, which usually ends up tingling for days, or on my cock when she unlocks me, and then there's bite marks up and down my shaft, but the most painful is on the head we're she really goes to work on, and leaves her deepest marks.

 

My keyholder uses cock pain and her voice to make me submit, then reinforces obedience. It feels ecstatic. No cage, just her mind. Ecstatic pain is a great tool of hers for reinforcing obedience. Completely turns me on beyond reason.

 

There’s just something delicious about immobilizing a strong, good-looking man and then inflicting various degrees of physical pain upon him. It’s like playing with a coveted toy that everyone wants but only you get to have, and you can be as rough as you want to with it, not worrying if you mark it up or maybe even break it. All that to say yes, I get turned on by giving pain. Hauntingly so.

 

I don’t crave the pain but rather submitting to the person giving it. My Mistress loves to hear me beg for her to stop. I don’t think she likes the pain aspect, but the begging. She doesn’t get excited unless I beg. We struggle with non pain aspects of dominance because of the begging. She has humiliated me enough in public where I asked/begged her to stop. She feels powerful and I feel submissive through this approach.