How does your key holder get you back in subspace after an authorized release?

Ok, this seems very simple. No orgasms!!

 

Since you seem to have a sub/domme relationship, she just needs to put you in your place and make you feel sub again. For me this can be anything from being whipped, tickled, made to drink her piss, being edged, pegged, literally anything which I need to be submissive for.

One off isn't enough. It needs to be quite full on for the next day etc.

If she doesn't do that, I'm exactly like you.

 

I know, I was only joking. I completely understand, my wife doesn’t allow full orgasms anymore.
After any milking or ruins I’m instructed to drink everything that’s been expelled.
I never considered a shot glass as our number one sex toy but it’s used every time!

 

I’m not sure there is any advice that can help you to spurt mor often. If you are into submission and pleasing your wife, then it’s great that she is sensitive to your cues - it means she’s really into it. It also means there’s no escaping it.

My wife and I went through this. Any lack of submission would irritate her, and even if I was trying hard, she could tell if my attitude wasn’t right and I was doing because I wanted something from her.

The result was some very long and intense periods of discipline, by which I mean chores, her telling me what to do and how to do it, often just to make things harder and more frustrating for me, and no free time.

As for more orgasms, they were certainly more likely to happen when she was happy with my submission, anything that felt like me trying to make a deal to her was a violation of my agreement to her, and just led to more discipline.

You said ‘your compliance and submission are more important to her than anything your penis can provide’. If that’s true, then at some point if you work hard enough, obedience to her and her satisfaction will become more important to you than your desire to squirt. That’s when this issue gets easier.

 

Your wife is the opposite of mine. My wife doesn't even seem to mind my "sub drop". I mind, though. I strongly regret that I'm not as focused on her after I cum.

I do find that the longer I go without, the less the drop, which is a plus. But there's always some drop. And the compounding problem is that when I am suffering from sub drop, I am not self-motivated at that point to help her get me back into the right state of mind, so I really could use an extra push from her. For me, the thing that helps the most is having to go straight back into the cage, and the other thing that really helps is when she is extra demanding of me. And she does really likes when I get back into the right state of mind, but she doesn't really do anything to help me get back there (other than wait).

I don't have great advice for you, since my advice would be to go longer without cumming (to lessen the drop).

 

After a few months without orgasm having an accidental one is nothing at all, and doesn't affect me in any negative way.

Previously, I would often experience quite bad depressive symptoms.

 

When we were first trying this lifestyle out, the depressive systems were popping up regularly. That made it quite a bit harder for us to adopt the lifestyle. At the time, I thought I just needed a release. I have since learned that what I really needed was more chastity, and to keep my frustration to myself.

 

We're pretty much the same I think,except that she genuinely gets off knowing how frustrated I am haha.

 

I suppose it depends on the dynamic, but for us, it's not up to my Domina to get me back into subspace--it's my responsibility. She closely monitors my post-O behavior, but She expects me to manage it myself.

I usually try extra-hard to focus on my cleaning and service jobs in the days right after a climax and "work the process" until the denial revs up my hormones again.

The last thing i want is for Her to see a big drop because that will only make it harder to get permission the next time.

asa

 

I think the issue you have is you're not doing this by choice. It's very much like asking someone to be a nicer person when drunk. No matter how good your intentions are, you can't be a better person when drunk.

If your drop is that much, there are a few things I'd suggest,

cum less often. Perversely, the longer the gap, the less the drop

Have her dominate you immediately after you cum. This works well for me.

Ask her to highlight every little issue, it might help you think clearer.

 

Madame only allows prostate orgasm anymore. That and milking provides her not having to deal with the hormone drop.

Of course I dribble these days. Spurting is rare and certainly not typical make spurting. I have adapted and don't miss my old methods of orgasm.

Good luck.

 

That's exactly the system we use. I track demerits for missed tasks and get a grade each week (B=5 demerits, C =10, etc.) That counts towards various punishments. It allows @MistressAMA (and other Women i serve) to quickly give an evaluation that has a "bite" to it. The punishments are things like wearing a posture collar for 2 hours or no porn for 2 weeks--not super-dramatic, but unpleasant enough that i don't seek them out.

This "gamifies" parts of our dynamic, which works for some but not everyone. I like it because it brings the dynamic into nearly everything i do.

asa

 

More teasing to get the juices flowing again, or if she is busy, a good set of captions that really get your mindset right. My wife lets me come fairly often and I just have to push through those times best I can, and hope for a longer lock to get that really desperate feeling. Doesn't take long.

 

I agree!

 

Seems like a lot of these things amount to "Please punish me by doing this list of things I love or fantasise about", which just pushes more requirements on to her.

Perhaps the best thing she can do is give you the keys, and instruct you to take the cage off until you pull yourself together.

 

The challenge with this is that it makes work for her.

My wife knows that her decision is final, on everything, and that I will submit to whatever she says ("bend over for a spanking" included). But she already has kids, and those kids already exhaust her. She doesn't need or want another kid to keep in line. She just wants me to obey, perfectly, with absolutely no effort on her part.

But I could sure use her help if/when I have sub drop. (And pretty much only then. The rest of the time I am almost perfect. It's so weird to say that, but damn, my frustrated cock makes me into such a good, respectful, attentive, serving, and obedient husband. And I really love when I become that husband, and hate when I'm not.)

So it's a bit of a conundrum.

 

I get the intention of what you're saying, but unless you're in an extremely strict FLR to the point you're basically a slave, any relationship is two way and requires effort.

I'd almost argue that if either of you don't have thr energy to put into the very emotionally draining aspects of this type of life, then you need to reconsider things.

No matter how sub you are, she has an obligation to deal with the consequences of her actions?

 

This likely won't be helpful for you, but my husband is very strong-willed. He is submissive, but not as submissive as would be ideal. That said, I do find that the challenge keeps me interested. He occasionally has difficulty going into a sub space. He used to push back against the device, but now he seems able to wear it, just knowing that's how it is. I do usually have him tied up when it comes off, and I won't release him until it is back on, so I don't have compliance issues with the actual device anymore.

I hadn't heard the term 'sub drop,' but I am very familiar with the process.

Although my husband isn't a bratty sub, it can take days for him to embrace the sub space after he's allowed to orgasm. Knowing this, he still does what I ask. And knowing that he does what I ask, when I ask him, even though he obviously doesn't want to, that's how I know I have a great sub in him. Being my sub doesn't have to be enjoyable for him, but he does have to do what I say, without question and without pouting. And in a way, that is more refreshing than having someone who is always "in the mood" to be submissive.

In short: suck it up.

 

I am also trying to be the husband that I described. Right now I am in a good period of success

Last night, after she went to bed early (leaving me to clean up the kitchen and deal with kids, although without actually saying so) she woke up at 4am from a noisy child, and so I was caressing her to help her relax, but instead of falling back to sleep she got excited, so I got to kiss her breasts and finger her to a wonderful O. The whole while, my poor attempted erection was desperately trying to rip the balls off of my body to defeat the suddenly-way-too-tiny cage (I'm a grower). Afterwards, I got to rub her back to help her get back to sleep, and then I held her until she got up. All the while, somehow, I was completely content and happy as a pig in mud, despite it having been a while (as I've said elsewhere, I don't keep track because she hates when I do, but I'd guess that it's been a week or so? Nothing compared to what a lot of guys here go through.)

So yeah, when it works, it works. It continues to rewire my brain, and I'm very thankful for it.

 

A week becomes a month a month becomes a year! Careful what you wish for.

Best of luck serving your lady.

 

This is the problem we face also. My wife doesn't want to deal with the extra job of getting me into subspace after a release. This is something I need to deal with so lately I have focused more into my chores and housework. It makes me feel like her servant and helps me return to right submissive mentality quicker.