My journey to FLR marriage with husband locked in chastity

That's not entirely true. Part of an "Abusive relationship" is not just physical abuse. It's mental abuse. You see women who are battered and keep going back to the man that batters them. She has a choice to leave. Why wouldn't she take it?. Because part of the abuse is the battering of her self esteem. Manipulating this poor woman into thinking she is better off WITH this animal who is beating her than without him. Yes she has a choice, but she is SO beaten down mentally that she is too frightened to take it. It's the same here to some extent. At least it seems that way from the posts. I never hear mean bitch talk about hubby getting ANY pleasure out of the relationship except for when he is pleasing Her. Sounds pretty abusive and one sided to me

 

Well put. Not many wives are ready to assume such responsibility and provide constant care, structure and direction.

 

The other important thing to understand is that my wife needs structure and to be under a firm hand, it's in her nature to require the level of control that I provide.

What are your thoughts.

 

My wife needs me, during my sober moments, to provide her with the information that forms our game plan for chastity, tease, & denial. We discuss this briefly, exchange ideas, and agree to a plan. She then takes control and executes that plan. She knows that I need her firm hand because I can't control myself during arousal and I become desparate for an erection & orgasm.

She has gotten very comfortable with leading in the bedroom. It never is up to me any longer. She is enjoying my denial more and more because:

1. She knows I'm better when I'm not orgasming too often
2. She doesn't have to deal with unlocking me and making a mess
3. She gets really aroused from tease & denial which leads to more pleasure for her

 

That might very well be true. For her. The mistake would be to generalize that to “many”, “most” or “all” wives. Or spouses, partners, men, women, etc.

 

@MeanBitch , I've been following your blog for a while and I commend you. You turned around a relationship that was clearly failing and which appears to be working very well right now. Plus your confidence is sexy as hell (and I am sure your husband agrees).

There has been talk that a strong chastity relationship can border on abuse, as you read above. It has been suggested by a few here that I may be a victim of abuse as my wife has twisted my mind into loving chastity and serving her. I maintain that, while I may have been tricked or coerced into this, I find joy in my life daily that I never knew existed before and am happy. You were much more up front with your husband and he chose this path, but you seem to be stricter and more controlling than I (or many of us here) have experienced. Yet you provide much more to him. It seems to me that you guys are just at a different place on the "trade off" scale than most, which makes your experience that much more fascinating.

Still it leaves me wondering what life is like from your husband's perspective. Besides worshiping and caring for you (which I suspect he finds very gratifying), and having everything provided for him, does he have his own activities? Friends? Do you still let him out weekly if he has done everything right (or ever?). You seem like the kind of woman who would also demand her man have some depth to him. I know you don't want him on here, but what would he say to the nay-sayers?

Wishing you both continued success and happiness. Thanks again for sharing and putting up with all our questions!

 

This was very true for my wife. For her, the sense of control over her partner was itself the thing that turned her on, and what made her feel most fully herself in an intimate relationship. She had always found herself in conflict with partners over this in the past, and had determined that she would rather be alone than compromise on this.

She was also clear from very early on that she wasn't interested in a play version of a power dynamic. What this meant in practice was her establishing stricter and stricter rules for what was acceptable behavior for me. From very early on she made it clear that no other relationship was possible between us. She had no hesitation taking control of the finances, having me not work etc. This definitely had the effect of making it much harder to leave if I had wanted to, but it was also as much about her simply wanting to have as much control as she could, and having me get used to that.

The rules put her in complete control, and were set up so that I could expect to be disciplined any time I didn't fully submit.

The way she looked at it was that submission was a sacred gift that I had chosen to give to her, and that by accepting my submission, she was also accepting responsibility for my behavior, and so it was her duty to not let me escape from discipline.

This was definitely a relationship that was about consensual non-consent. She was very clear at each step what we were doing and what it meant, but equally she was clear that the things I was agreeing to were not negotiable and were simply the nature of the relationship. At some point, not too long in, she asked me to agree that that I while I could ask her to consider my point of view on the rules, they would continue to apply at all times, with no option to suspend them, and although we both had to agree to any changes, only she would decide what changes to consider.

I think a lot of people might consider this to be open to abuse, but I'd say that it was the opposite. If we hadn't been open about what we were doing, I can much more easily imagine it becoming abusive, and I'd been in relationships in the past with people who wanted more control but were not willing to accept that about themselves, and these were more abusive.

 

Very few people understand that. You were very lucky to meet her.

 

Just love this journal I wish all women had this kind a confidence and assertiveness

 

Not sure and Alpha, Beta and submission. My experience is that many submissive men lead an accomplished life and only submit to their wife.

 

you for sure seem to have created a very good lifestyle that works well for you both which is fantastic

 

Absolutely. First, dominance and submission are relative concepts. One is almost never either D or s in ALL relationships with ALL other people and in ALL circumstances. Second, many people harbor the desire to take a break from their “usual” mode and experience the other. Third, there is no absolute correlation between one’s usual D or s role and what is sexual arousing to them.

 

Boy I wish I could get my wife involved this lifestyle she wants no part of it any suggestions for help guys I would love to hear.

 

"Be Careful What You Wish For" by Sarah Jameson
a very down to earth book especially coming from a female perspective with women in mind
Also from Sarah if still available is "The Letter" which really can help explain what it is you are looking for from your partner in a down to earth none fantasy way.
Also
The Ultimate 30-Day Male Chastity Blueprint: A simple step-by-step guide to a strict male chastity lifestyle

https://www.goodreads.com/author/show/5408781.Sarah_Jameson

I highly recommend reading her blogs too,... I found her stuff helpful and so did my present and some past partners

My current partner was at first a friend. She read BCWYWF she loved it and the The Letter and told me straight out that if I were to ask her to become my keyholder she would. I did, she did and that was almost 61/2 years ago