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My journey to FLR marriage with husband locked in chastity

Discussion in 'The Vault' started by MeanBitch, May 20, 2016.

  1. I live the FLR lifestyle 24/7/365, with my husband subservient to me and securely locked in a Neosteel Arch belt. It has been a long and winding journey which I would like to share with anyone who is interested.

    Deciding to convert our marriage to FLR was a major step, but locking my husband in chastity was in many ways even more important and has made my life exactly what I always wanted and deserved.

    It has been a 40 year road to get to this point. I want to share day to day issues that come up and hear from all of you in this forum but I have to explain how I reached this stage of my life, I hope it is helpful so that you can understand a mean bitch's point of view.
     
    sissyamycd, Joan.t, rongeo and 15 others like this.
  2. Welcome MeanBitch. It's taken me a while to get where I am today locked in a MM JB. I certainly would love to read your story.

    Sonic chaste
     
  3. For those that are interested I need to give some background. I was raised by a single mom with three younger siblings that I had to take care of, so early on I had a lot of responsibility and was pretty bossy to keep things running. Earned a scholarship to college, got pregnant at 19 and married at 20 to a man who was abusive in every way. Lasted 4 years and vowed never to marry again. Went back to college at night and then law school, went to work as an attorney while raising my daughter.

    About six years ago I met a kind, gentle, considerate man and got married again. He was different from anyone I had been with before and also the first white man I had ever dated. It was good to have someone in my life but the marriage was not that really satisfying in any way. And then my husband lost his job and couldn't find a new one, fortunately I became a partner at the firm around that time and could support us. But I started to resent that I was the breadwinner, that he didn't satisfy me in bed, that he was basically a weak, indecisive man. It infuriated me that I had married a weak, soft man that I had to support financially.
     
    Joan.t, mrfelix, spider203 and 3 others like this.
  4. So one day about two years ago I sat him down and told him that we were finished and I wasn't happy. As I expected he cried like a girl and begged me, and said he needed me and would do anything to stay together. And I do enjoy his companionship, so I told him we could stay together but that he needed to make my life easier and take on a whole different role in our relationship. The truth is that with him not working and not being a strong decision maker my old bossy instincts had been coming out more and more, so it was just a matter of formalizing things into a full FLR. He fell into his new role pretty easily although some things were hard, such as having to ask me permission for everything and having no money of his own. But the first few months worked well for both of us.

    But gradually he started slacking off, he would still badger me for sex sometimes even though I had made it clear that it was not going to happen, and to make things worse I realized that he was spending most of the day at home masturbating, which explained a lot. So having read extensively about successful FLRs I laid down the law again and he had to very reluctantly accept being caged in a CB6000.
     
    Joan.t, mrfelix, jung-sklave and 7 others like this.
  5. Mistress B
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    Mistress B Mistress B
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    Once the impact of chastity has the desired effect on him, he will either accept it and realise his role in your relationship or fight against it.
    I wish you well.
     
  6. After a few weeks in the CB6000 he seemed to adjust pretty well and stopped complaining, but over the next few months he started to slack off again. One day I caught him and realized the problem. He was able to slip out and pleasure himself. Unfortunately for him that meant getting a Neosteel Arch which has him completely and securely locked, with his dick pulled back between his legs and no access at all. If he behaves he gets briefly released once a week, and believe me he is a very good boy now. The belt has finally made him completely obedient and subservient and made our marriage perfect as far as I am concerned.

    Bottom line I refuse to apologize for living the life that is typical for a successful man in my position. At home I have a "wife" who does all the chores and makes my life as easy as possible, who is completely dependent on me, who jumps when I say jump and who has to accept that I have an active and fulfilling sex life outside of the marriage. And the chastity belt is fundamental, because it is a simple reward and punishment system that keeps him in line and at my beck and call. So that is how I arrived here. It has taken a while but I have the life that I deserve.
     
    anasyrma, Bear20, Xtudo3002 and 13 others like this.
  7. Joroincharge
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    Joroincharge Lock em up - 24/7/365!!
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    Nice one. Have you got, or considered, the remote control educational shield extra?

    Link is here.

    http://www.neosteel.de/Nseprces.htm

    Touch of a button can give him a very painful shock just where it hurts most. and could be perfect for you.

    :spank::spank::spank:
     
    slave_m likes this.
  8. You're right, you have every right to want an obedient and subservient husband. You have nothing to apologize for, you financially support him and grant him release every week if he's well behaved, that's pretty generous if you ask me. It takes a strong woman to realize what's wrong in her relationship and take charge of the situation. We as a society should encourage more woman to be as empowered as you.
     
    lacy02 likes this.
  9. Another scenario is that he may fight against the chastity, lose, and come to accept and realize his new role.
     
  10. The chastity aspect of our relationship for me is about control, period. I would never want to intentionally cause him pain. The simple fact is that he lacks self-discipline and motivation and chastity keeps him in line and provides the perfect reward/punishment system. He may not like it on a day to day basis but he understands that it has made our relationship work. Before he was locked up I was always frustrated and angry with him and he was ashamed of his laziness and lack of self control. Now I am happy and appreciative and he has the structure in his life that he needs. We are both in our natural roles and as a result our relationship is healthier than it has ever been.
     
  11. Very good point. I often like to compare the chastity situation you have with your husband to a man who hates to exercise and diet and complains to his personal fitness trainer, yet he knows it's for his own good.
     
    spider203 likes this.
  12. It's funny that you brought up that example. My husband had really let him self go, being at home he would just eat junk food and be very sedentary. He had gained 45 lb since we got married and not looking or feeling good. So I set a target for him of losing one pound per week (a very safe and reasonable goal) and I weigh him on his release day. So far he has reached his goal every week except one and lost almost 20 lb. He feels proud, he has a sense of accomplishment and he has more energy so he is happier. There is no chance that he would have made the changes to his diet and exercise unless he had the incentive of getting his weekly release from the belt, and he acknowledges that. The carrot works much better than the stick in my experience. The other thing is that when we go out he has to wear a shaper under his clothes because I refuse to be seen with a slovenly man. He hates it because it's uncomfortable but as soon he reaches his goal he won't have to wear it any more, which has motivated him to lose even more than a pound some weeks, so again the goal of a reward is motivating him to do what is good for him.
     
  13. That's great to hear! Just out of curiosity, how do you manage his releases?
     
  14. In other words, what does his typical weekly release look like? Is he supervised while masturbating or do you do it yourself? What is he allowed to use as a visual, if anything at all? Is he locked back up immediately thereafter?
     
  15. I unlock the belt and he is free to do whatever he wants. I have no desire to watch him or supervise, and I hope he enjoys himself. Then the belt goes back on the new week begins. I leave him alone so that he enjoys himself, I want him motivated until the next release.
     
  16. That's actually very kind of you. Do you typically allow him just one orgasm or as many as he wants that day? Is he allowed to use any visual material he wants? From my experience, I've found that when masturbate multiple times, I get super lazy, even one really good release makes me lazy. I also feel very humbled if I'm not allowed to choose my own visual material.
     
  17. Already answered above. If he gets released it's because he's earned it, that's the one time of the week he can do as he wishes.
     
    joe01 and slave_m like this.
  18. Excellent you are training him well. I stopped my husband masturbating by also locking him in chastity and its taken a while to find the right device that is secure and neat. He is now locked each day in his steel cage which also penetrates his urethra which stops him escaping.
    I also decided that since he was no use as a male any more he can be my girl friend so I dress him up too as part of his submission training.
    Works for me and keeps him so stimulated he does anything I want and is now only allowed to wear skirts and heels while at home.
     
    Xtudo3002, manintyres and danijean001 like this.
  19. I will use this thread to share my experiences with FLR for those who are contemplating an FLR. I want to share what I have learned along this journey.

    #1 You can't change how a person is wired. I am naturally assertive, selfish and decisive. My husband is naturally a weak, submissive beta. So I took command of our relationship and made him subservient to me, and there wasn't too much resistance from him because of how he is wired. A real alpha man would not have allowed his wife to lock him up and basically take his manhood away. Some men want their wives or girlfriends to take control but if she's not naturally dominant she won't feel comfortable doing it and the FLR won't work, and some wives want to take control of their husbands but if he's not a naturally submissive man he won't submit to a woman.
     
    Xtudo3002, Joan.t, manintyres and 8 others like this.
  20. I'm not naturally submissive, but I find the idea of submission to be very liberating of the burdens of responsibilities that have weighed so heavily upon my shoulders for years. I think a strong, assertive woman can convince a non-submissive man into chastity if she's assertive enough and approaches it from this perspective.
     
    danijean001 likes this.
  21. Your story is very interesting! All I wonder is, why you named yourself "MeanBitch"?
    I can see nothing mean or bitchy in what you do.
    All you did and do is what he deserves.
     
    spider203 likes this.
  22. Thanks, I appreciate that people in this forum understand my perspective. In general as an assertive, dominant woman I am considered a mean bitch. And I admit that I am selfish and hard on my husband.
     
  23. #2 It is vital to be firm but fair. To be consistent at all times. To have a transparent system of rewards and punishments. My husband knows exactly what the rules are and what is expected from him. If he falls short or disobeys me he knows what the punishment will be, and if he pleases me and completes all his chores he knows that he can count on being rewarded, which includes a release from his belt. Sometimes I am in a bad mood and feel like taking it out on him but I don't do that because it wouldn't be fair. And sometimes I sympathize with him but I stick to the rules. Example: he has to lose one pound per week because he is overweight and I want him skinny. A few weeks ago I weighed him on our digital scale and he was 0.1 pounds short of his goal, which meant that he would stay locked up for another week. He was almost in tears and I actually felt sorry for him but it was important to maintain discipline so the belt stayed on. One of my rules is no whining or complaining so he just had to take it, he knew that if he begged me to release him I would add another week to his chastity. Tough, but fair.
     
    anasyrma, Xtudo3002, Joan.t and 13 others like this.
  24. please @MeanBitch@MeanBitch oooh i never have use that word before. i think that You are very very good to him and he shud be very very nice to You for letting him out and let to do what he wants. i bets he has a spurty when that happen.
     
    danijean001 and manintyres like this.
  25. Dear Ms. MB,
    With all respect, I don't consider being assertive and dominant the same as being mean. Ensuring that your own needs are met and being fair and consistent aren't "hard" either - in my very humble opinion. I think you are a wonderful role model for women everywhere and a perfect example of how women can move on successfully from abusive male dominated relationships to assume their rightful place.
    If the title "Mean Bitch" pleases you then I of course support your decision but if you reconsider I would suggest "Righteous Modern Woman" or just "DC Woman" and those of us who've lived in the district will recognize you have the correct "attitude".
    Very respectfully,
    stevie
     
    manintyres, jemima and squier like this.

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