Is the honor system possible after long term chastity ?

It solely depends on the individual and how much willpower they possess. This isn't a question of some men being "better" than others: willpower is something you have or you don't. If he's strayed before you have to seriously ask whether he really has (and could) change. Good luck.

 

We're on the honor system because of anatomical reasons, although occasionally I will wear a cage.

For us it works because of our dynamic as Wife-Owner and husband-slave. I sometimes do edge myself but I am obedient enough to not to ejaculate or have an orgasm. If it were to happen I'd also be obliged to confess it and face the consequences (likely a beating and only ruined orgasms if any for a period of time). Perhaps one thing that makes it bearable long term is that I'm granted regular release and an orgasm once or twice every month (supervised and under humiliating circumstances).

So I'd agree with the previous post that willpower is one necessary but not only important element. The level of submission of him to you and your control over him are at least as important.

I guess if you're sure he'll be obedient you could give it a try. However, if you're unsure - and from what you wrote that seems to be the case - a renegotiation of chastity and/or D/s dynamic may be warranted.

Something that may help - at least if both of you enjoy Ds - my Owner and I both signed a slavery contract a month after we got engaged and a few months before we got married. Within the contract chastity and earning orgasms as a reward are also stipulated. Knowing about the existence of the contract is one thing that helps me remain obedient and chaste.

With regard to PIV: you may have tried this already but is him wearing a strapon while caged an acceptable alternative perhaps?

 

i dont wear a cage becouse the first one i had wich was last year hurt me so bad ive not recoverd . it still hurts ocasionaly so no chance of wearing a cage .ive gone a period of 54 days then 64 days 26 days and curently on 62 days without any orgasms or erections other than ocasional night time erections wich of course i cant controll . ive not touched my penis at all other that to pee .i do however have very sensetive nipples but thats the only sexual stimulation ive had . so i think theres no reason why the honner system cant work but probably depends on your age im 68 i think it would be much harder for a younger guy

 

Honor system won’t work for me. I need med to maintain an erection, but I can still masterbate. Some time back I had a mild infection that was caused by an ingrown hair. Once we found the cause and removed the hair, I had to go unlocked while the spot healed. I was on the honor system and lasted only until the next morning shower. In the 3 weeks of being uncaged, I must have rubbed out every other day. When I did not shoot a good load during PIV, my wife knew what I was doing and locked me back up.

 

I dont think the honour system works !

 

I am part time locked and part time honor system. The part time locked reminds me I can go without masturbating when unlocked. When locked, it is for 7 to 10 days at a time.

 

Very good Question Madam. I should have understood like a lot of men here are learning or about too. There are many of us who because of the job are weekend warriors, or we try and use it to remain free. Con job by a lot of men Ladies sorry, For Us, it was the Army, believe me jump from a plane once with a cb2000 to only have to un-blouse my boots to shake out the pink pieces training ok not deployment. I retired at 50 years old to become a 24/7 slave/maid for Mistress She was offered a big job in Michigan at one of the auto companies. With the ink drying on my retirement papers I was taken to get my ears pierced, redo nipples, and PA once healed chastity. This, the words She told me(Thank you for your service you're my slave now) I stayed locked two years to make up all my years free. Then we went on Mistresses Honor system! The new system. After laying everything out for Her making breakfast lunch packed. While She enjoyed that I would shower and before dressing report to Mistress in the dining room. Once there taking the key from Her wrist She would unlock the cage. Removing it and picking up a tube of lipstick draw a line on Her penis, telling me if I wanted to be free do not smudge it! Kiss me on the check grab Her lunch go to work. Another new rule was punishment every Friday always the same time during that time I may speck up or ask about anything free time. I asked about the lipstick She told me win win cage She knows I am locked, Lipstick She knows I will go out of my way not to smudge it. Because men need to play with something in their free time. Oh, before anyone thinks She thought this out! The color was never the same each day sometimes being two colors. Trying to buy and think a head. I hope it helps in some way Madam, thank you.

slave Phoenix

 

How about alternating - in the belt when he's out of the house or on his own, out of the belt when at home (but perhaps with trousers off and ankles shackled so he can't go out until the belt is back on and the ankles unlocked)? And always supervised in the shower.

 

Sort of. He has to be committed. I had self hypnotized myself over years. I was not in chastity “all the time” and I had access to a key. There was an element of honor system.

Then I fell down and broke my masturbation rule after my vasectomy when I edged myself for three hours uncaged. I honestly was concerned about faint pain in the testicle and was touching myself to distract and comfort myself that I didn’t disrupt our sex life. My wife was very upset.

After some months of honor system - edging only. Then a three month marathon caged denial in the summer she let me have freedom again.

I got unruly very quick. I was spoiled. So she decided to keep me caged all the time. From now on. Indefinitely.

But she’s amended that if I ever stop wanting to touch myself - as I had gotten myself into that headspace - that she’d consider leaving me out. She had threatened to throw away all my PA jewelry in reaction to the transgression. It wasn’t a game. I had broken 5-1/2 years of good behavior.

She decided I needed enforced chastity.

But if he’s committed it can work. I could imagine being a very good boy again. But not now. It’s all in the mental state.

Emotional bonds are stronger than steel.
It’s hard to say or judge other relationship dynamics.

If he’s needing time out, just give him extra attention and praise him for not touching himself. Make sure he’s hands free, or whatever rules you enjoy. You’ll know if he’s telling the truth I’m sure.

It’s good for him to be good and obedient.
I just wish I hadn’t broken the spell myself. I wish I hadn’t acted up and argued for an orgasm. It was off putting to my wife and it only cemented her understanding how much I needed to be controlled.

If you want him out for you to enjoy penetration, make that happen. This is for your enjoyment. My own frustration is for my wife.

Good luck!

 

It will work if he also wants to be masturbation/orgasm-free.

 

it depends on his motives. what is the reason for his loss of will. is the cage uncomfortable? Is he afraid of losing some libido? maybe he needs more rewards to keep him motivated? the act of penetration can be done without ejaculation. It depends on whether he's able to do it. Otherwise there are harnesses. Do you like the dynamics of the cage and the exchange of power it allows? Summer is coming, it may be a time when you can reestablish games, try something new. He wants to stop wearing the cage but you may be able to get along for a two week break, for example.

personally, when I have a down, i would say that I can. But I know deeply i won't be able to keep myself chaste. As others told you, every man are different. But much of us just can stop to cum.

Chastity is also time consuming maybe both need a break?

Good luck you both.

 

It may be possible for for some people, but it wouldn’t be for me. There is no way I could stop my self!

 

As many have said, it depends more on him. But even the most strong willed have moments of weakness so to expect total obedience without a cage is unwise. If you have doubts, i'd stick with what you know works and most of all what you want. Good luck and enjoy.

 

Yes it will work the honor system is how we go. If she leaves the house over nite she locks me up or I am in trouble. We do not have PIV. We have scheduled 2 ruined releases a year. I give my wife keyholder oral couple times a week. To be true the honor system it very hard but doable

 

I’m going to have to discourage you from going down this route. I feel as though your husband is asking for this change because he intends to sneak in releases from time to time, no matter what he promises you. Unless it’s enforced by way of a device, you’ll never really know if he’s really keeping to his word. Why not simply give you that control, as he has been doing, by way of the device? If he’s not masturbating, then surely continuing to wear a device won’t hurt him. Even the strongest of men will eventually succumb to temptation without a device. As for penetration, you can easily achieve that by having him wear a strap-on while locked in chastity. I can’t help but feel that his desire to move away from being locked in a device is an attempt to regain control over his orgasms, so I would highly discourage you from letting that happen. Good luck.

 

Ask him how he intends to prove his honesty and communication with minimal to no effort from you?

The reality is if he is cheating you should be able to detect with a simple rub and touch and he should get hard immediately, he should drip pre-cum fast, and his orgasm quality should be easily detected.

It may seem cold and scientific, but impose a period of time for lock down, and then test his response. E.g. 1 day, 1 week, 1 month, etc. Then when on the honor system see if he can replicate it.

If he loves you, respects the kink and the blessing he has with you wanting to place this intimacy game, then it can work. If he doesn't then well there are bigger issues with chastity.

You may want to remind him of that ...

 

It's about trust.

Do you trust him to keep his word?

This is about your feelings on the matter.

You have to know and have faith that he will not cheat. He must be true to his word and honorable in his actions.

However, If you are posting on here asking this question, then do you really trust him?

There should be no doubt in your mind that he will keep his word.

If you have to ask the question then, in my humble opinion, your answer is no.

True trust does not need a question asked.
True trust leaves no doubts in your mind.

If he has broken your trust before their will be the chance he will do it again.

Hurt me once, shame on you.
Hurt me twice, shame on me.

While I do agree everyone deserves a second chance, do not forget their past behavior.

When you do come to a place of fully trusting him, when there is no doubt in your mind then, and only then, can you test his loyalty.

Just my 2 cents
Iso.

 

Everyone is different but personally the honor system doesn't work in my case. I lack the will power not to pleasure myself when the mood strikes.

I wear my cage 24/7 and we use a really nice strap on for penetrative sex mixed with oral. I do miss being inside my wife though. Maybe for our anniversary she will let me again.

 

May want to consider a hybrid solution where he wears the cage if he's not at work or with you. If he gets home from work before you, he can put it on and drop the key into a Kitchen Safe or through a tiny slot into a combination key box.

 

I tried. Made a promise from my heart. But I could not keep the promise. So, belted for as long as we are together. Release once a month for inspection and hair removal. She is in the room off course Just ten minutes, and then back on. She takes the keys to work and store them in her desk. No keys in the house.
We both love it..

 

are you alowed any orgasms at all ?

 

In a few months it will be 3 years in total chastity. No orgasms, as in zero....
My price for cheating on my wife with masturbation. No masturbation, no orgasms. Ever. For as long we are together. I can have the keys anytime. That just means divorce. Simple...

 

The reality is, if he is in a ball-trap device, he can probably pull out the back.

If he transitions to the honor system, how do you monitor him? Do you even want to try? It sounds like a lot of effort on your part, but it could also be fun. I think the honor system would be very challenging, at least at first.

As mentioned previously, you might switch it up between the two. That could be fun too. The longer you are in a chastity device, the easier it seems to get. Being free-range for a while, then caged, seems more difficult. You are always in transition.