20 Lost gentleman traditions that still apply today

yeah - or not.

1. advocating equal pay for equal work - no exceptions
2. advocating freedom to love and supporting that in one's on life
3. publicly abjuring 'bro-culture' and the toxic environment it creates
4. speaking out against abuse and calling it out when one sees it
5. consciously avoiding shaming behaviors in one's public life - appearance, behavior - all of it
6. recognizing that it's women-run families hardest hit by systematic poverty. doing something about it.
7. recognizing that it's women who most suffer from domestic violence. doing something about it.
8. living by the radical notion that women are -people-

you want to be a gentle man in the 21st century? there's your map.

 

I have to Commend you @L-u-c-y for bringing these common things to everyone’s attention. I agree they are lost with a lot of people in society today. Respect in general seems to be going by the way side of to many people. It would be interesting if every man took this as a survey. I honestly believe that the men that frequent this sight would score the highest, personal these are normal for me except when Miss Shelly doesn’t desire them. The World would be a much better place if we were a little more Old Fashion. My hat goes off to you Miss Lucy, perhaps that could be number 21.

 

Or simply “Equality”

 

What a great list of gentlemanly behaviors!
Since we are. It talking directly about chastity here, I think it is a good idea to say what I think of another gentlemanly behavior that seems lost on most men today.
Wearing a hat indoors and far worse, wearing a hat at the table.
In my home I request male guests to take their hats off if necessary by simply asking them , “May I take your hat?”

 

Holding the door anywhere is such a simple act no matter where you are. I do it all the time and it’s surprising how many strangers don’t acknowledge the simple act. I usually respond by saying “Have a nice Day “ than I normally get a weird look to but it makes my Day

 

Does that apply to Bandannas and Toques also. Ha

 

Not lost at all. Quality, respectful gentlemen are getting scarce though. I practice every item on the list when appropriate.

But then, I am a romantic.

Also, when dinning out, always give her the best chair at the table.
Warm her bed at night before she gets in to it.

 

or simply.

 

That is a good question. 10 seconds seems like a long time but 5 would seem more reasonable. It depends on many things Are you holding it for only women or men also,are they young or old and simply would holding the door make it easier for them like when their carrying a child or parcels. I think if we started holding doors open for even 5 seconds for people most would think were crazy. May have to give that a try just for fun.

 

Wow, I didn’t realize I was a gentleman! Seriously though, most of those were drilled into me since I was a kid by my dad and don’t even think about it now. Most of them anyway.

-I don’t have any rules on laughter.
-I always walk a step behind which sometimes getting the door tricky, especially if she doesn’t wait.
-I don’t pay attention to which side I’m on, usually just see which side she gives me room to walk.
-umbrella and or coat doesn’t come up ever, but I am sure I would do the right thing.
-I do joke about her meals sometimes, but only after she has complained herself. Otherwise I will eat and grin.
-I pay when I can for meals and outings, but sometimes she insists, and I would consider it rude to keep arguing. More polite to accept and thank her.

One thing I would put on the list...defend her from friend and foe. If someone has rude or derogatory remarks towards her, it is your obligation to correct them and let them know it is unacceptable. Especially within family and friend circles. Your loyalty should be to her.

 

But when you are male, waiting a long time only makes you look subservient....sometimes a subtle statement.

 

Yes that warming her side of the bed goes along way, forgot about that one. Miss Shelly really appreciates when I go to bed before her for that reason. Sometimes she has to wake me

its a fine line. Letting the door go infront of someone’s face proves your an Idiot.

 

Never had to deal with the umbrella thing either but I have given up my coat on many different occasions

Defending her is a Very Good one but family should also be added. My mother didn’t really like her when we first started dating. The defending of her led to my another and I not talking for almost six months. Yes defending should be on the list.

 

Oops Mother.

 

You got hit in Catholic school if you didn’t do most of those things. I was also taught to take my hat off when entering a building and even though Miss Lucy wouldn’t expect it I would offer up my seat on a crowded bus (or train) to her or any woman standing. And I didn’t/don’t need to wear a cage to do these things

 

You are a good man. This shows manners and respect. I am surprised by men that enter buildings of worship or attend performances without removing hats. It is not respectful to the place or the people around them.

 

I haven't worn a hat in probably forty years. Cubs cap was probably the last time I wore one. But I'd remove it if I did...

 

I'd ask her to indicate her preferred seat first but I would prefer to sit facing her and the room behind her as I am better able to watch for potential threats... which is a very hard habit to break.

On stairs or an escalator always stand beside her but bear in mind if she is wearing a short skirt she may prefer you to stand behind her so others can not look up it. The latter may of course apply to ladders also.

The preference of one's Lady would always take priority over etiquette. Others percieving your etiquette to be lacking in some way detracts only from you and not you Lady.

I would also add that one should always be aware of all the options available should you have to evacuate a building or event. Obviously the nearest exit may not always be the best choice.

I thought the rest went without saying though I suppose to look as some you'd think some people did not know any.

 

Thanks, just common courtesy taught at a young age!

 

I don't know, Lucy. These days, many feminists would hit you if you were that nice to them!

 

And people act like findoms are just online in the fetish world.

 

Love this @L-u-c-y ...

1. He stands when she walks in the room
Well, I dont stand, but I do acknowledge people when they come in - especially a woman.

2. He walks by her on the outside, closest to the street
We walk every day - the dog or just us - I do do this. And, I always make eye contact with traffic. I ain't gonna stand in no puddle though

3. He opens the door for her
Always. Any woman really.

4. He never criticises a home-made meal
I do the cooking - its one of my chores. I like to cook more than she does - but she is a good chef too. I dont have to hide any complaints.

5. He doesn’t LOL for the sake of attention
I have to give this one a think.

6. He pulls out her chair
If we go out to eat, yes. We sit on the floor when we eat at home. And since I bring her her meal right from the pots & pans, she is already sitting.

7. He sits after she sits
See answer above

8. He helps her put on/take off her coat
We dont have much opportunity to wear coats in Texas - but sure, if I am around, I'll help.

Corsets ... well, we both work at the local Renaissance Festivals and sometime she does wear a corset ... of course I help her into it. Out also

9. He doesn’t walk ahead of her
This is a protocol that I adopted from elsewhere - higher rank precedes lower ranks. It was natural for me to yield the ranking spot to the lady. This assumes that both know how to get to the destination.

10. He gives up his seat to her if there is only standing room
I actually do this at work when meetings are booked for too small a room. I will always get up to give my seat to the first lady without one.

11. He carries her bags
Not if I have my own to carry - haha. Seriously, its how we met. My first sentence spoken to her was to ask if I could help carry her bags down the hallway at a hotel.

12. He picks up the check
By mutual agreement, we both pick up the tab. And. being married, its the same money anyway.

13. He holds an umbrella over her when it rains
It doesnt rain here much - but when it does, we just dont go outside. Now, if we chance upon rain while out ... I would hold an umbrella for her if we had one.

14. He gives her his jacket
Sure. We wear each others clothes regularly. I know thats not what you meant. I tend to tolerate colder weather better because I grew up in snow country - if she's cold, I will give her my poncho.

15. He keeps her secrets
Always. I have never been a 'kiss & tell' person - but that extends to anything said in confidence - for both gals or guys.

16. He walks her home or to safety
Being an escort comes naturally.

17. He listens to her
Suit up, show up, sit down, shut up - listening is vital.

18. He’s on time
My pa taught me that if you show up on time, you're 15 minutes late. Get there early so you dont feel rushed - but dont barge on in like its the 4th of July.

19. He compliments her
Every damn day!

20. A gentleman never lies.
She knows I wont becuase she knows I dont wanna be a creep.

Maybe I passed ...
I hope I passed.