Ex military and police subs

I'm neither but I can totally see it.
Military - a life devoted to following rules and obeying superiors unquestioningly.
Police - largely the same, with a dollop of making others follow rules too.

Both seem like the perfect backdrop for wanting to be sub in FLR outside of work.

 

I don't believe its a coincidence, @L-u-c-y ! Having been a Coast Guardsman, cop and a firefighter/Paramedic for most of my life, I think that those type experiences expose you to life from a different point of view and, IMHO, I think we are relieved to finally get to submit to the control and will of a dominant woman and enjoy peace as a sub. Trusting and relinquishing control is a wonderful thing!

 

As a young man, I had several acquaintances in the military. The thing I observed most was their total commitment to following orders from their commanding officers . They were told to do such mindless tasks with out any logical reason told to them, such as dig a hole in the ground maybe the depth of their height ,then they were given something to burry ,and after burying it, they were told to dig it up because they ,the recruits, had missed the spot by a few inches, then burry it again. All at the fastest speed possible. This was one of many things designed to get them to act immediately without thinking. It was to prepare them for being ordered into enemy fire without thinking they might die.
Similar to the police force, a friend was applying to become a police officer was turned down, and later learned from a girlfriends dad's friend ,that his tests showed him to be not suitable as he would always think on his own and not go strickly by the book. .
A lot of military men , after their 3 year hitch was up rejoined the service , they found " civi street " to hard to handle .
They were young and had never had to make a decision all the while in the armed forces.

Could this have something to do with those macho and brave men needing some love and guidance ?
I doubt that their sargent major offered many hugs and kind words.

On the surface ,I would think these men would be extremely devoted and with care would make a Lady Domme the best sub possible.
So many are lost , and in need of a kind word, I'm sure it would be worth at least giving them a chance .

 

I find that hard to believe. Police officers deal with so many different situations, none of which ever fits an identical pattern to one before it, that police officers are required to think on their feet. Someone who was programmed to "go by the book" would not know how to handle much of what was thrown at them because you can't write a book that covers every possible contingency. I know. I was one for more than 20 years. Now the military is a different animal. They do want warm bodies that can follow orders without question.

As for the original question, I think any profession where you're required to be in control the entire time (and to not just act like you're in control, but to literally take control of every situation you encounter in one way or another), probably breeds people who relish giving up control at some point and allowing someone else to take the reins. If that can happen in a relationship that also involves an interplay of sexual tension, then it's a win-win. That doesn't have to be police work, though. In talking with several dominatrixes, their clients tended to be CEOs, doctors, lawyers, and others who sought out their services specifically to relinquish control in one form or another.

 

I think you are spot on on this. It's the mindset of obedience. Is ingrained in the military and police. Now they're 'ex' in that regard, this is another manifestation of it, and what better way of having it secured than by their sexuality: with an F who will know how to have him by the balls. so he'll do as he's told. It's a form of security.. He needs it and he needs her to have it too.

 

It was more than just a dollop. That was literally your raison d'être.

 

I would imagine any occupation that requires commanding respect, wielding authority, and being in charge is more likely to delve into relinquishing control when it’s time to hit the off switch.

 

I was a Marine for 12 years and was always a very aggressive and dominant being. I did not like that side of me so now I am happily owned by my Queen and wear diapers everyday.

To answer your question @Lucy I do think there is a correlation. In the military your every need is provided. You are lawfully and yes sometimes unlawfully ordered to carry out things and you honestly have very little say in the matter unless you want to face punishment. You are motivated, devoted, and dedicated to your branch of service and your unit members and you know how to perform domestic duties better than anyone...Sounds very similar to a female led relationship to me.

 

I am current Law Enforcement. At home, loosing all control puts me in subspace. Beat me then lock me and I’ll love you in return, lol.

I think it’s about having too much power and always being in charge. Honestly it’s tiring. Loosing power is a mental escape, as you can no longer control what’s most dear to you... your manhood.

 

Very true

 

I'm the exception to the rule on that one. I turned 18 and read 'On The Road'.

 

Ah, I don't think you're completely correct here.
There are those who are naturally predisposed to being sub in their personal lives. In some cases exactly as you say, they are in career positions of power and authority, and seek the opposite for their personal lives.
Loads of examples of politicians , CEO's and similar who fit that mould. It's a stereotype for a reason. I totally agree with you on that.

I think military & police are slightly different though.
Similar in that they are trained to exert authority in given situations, but markedly different in how they get there.
Police/military personnel learn to exert authority by years of conditioning to (almost) mindlessly conform to it.
"Learn to abide rigidly by rules, so that you can then rigidly enforce them".
They differ from other professions in that regard, and in terms of being submissives outside of work I think that difference is very significant. Soldiers / police ALL conform unquestioningly to predefined authority at work, whereas that isn't necessarily true for other occupations which require commanding respect, wielding authority, or being in charge.

 

I think there's an interesting correlation to make here too.

If we assume: for argument's sake:
Military: Lean to enforce by first being conditioned to conform

Does it also aapply in D/s?
Long time subs, conditioned to conform, after a while "discovering" a Dom side?
I personally know loads of Doms (male female and trans) who will all tell you they started out as subs.

Personally, I'm a sub without a dominant bone in my body. I never have been or ever will be a dom, it is complete anathema to me. But it does seem to happen in rather a lot of cases.

 

Being in the military for over 20 plus years, I agree. I took orders, gave orders and when I got home my wife was and still in charge. She had me wear panties while in uniform but no cage. Now lingere, cage and would not have it any other way

 

Thank you for your service...

 

Retired popo here.

 

Interesting idea, one I will definitely think about.

I do want to counter an idea that has been put forward, that military personnel are conditioned to follow orders unquestioningly to such a point that they do not think for themselves. Nothing could be further from the truth. As is often the case the reality is more complex than the perception.

The recruit training stage is designed to break someone down but then build them back up again. By the end of it you are much more a team player and you will follow orders from superiors. But someone who doesn’t think for themselves would be a liability. Such a person would not be successful and would never get very far regarding promotion.

I’m not saying there aren’t people like that in the military, I met a few, but at the most they were Lance Jacks (the first rung above Private in the Army) and many had been given a chance at Corporal, the next rung, but through inability had been demoted.

I do have to admit that my experience was as a member of a Corps rather than a Regiment, so maybe things would have been different had I joined a different part of the Army, but I knew plenty of Paratroopers who were anything but mindless drones. One of them, a Pathfinder, is one of the most intelligent people I have ever met.

As for my own submissive leanings, I don’t know. I left the Army a long time ago but didn’t leave the military altogether. Did my life following orders condition me for this chastity lifestyle? I think it makes following the orders my Wife gives easier, she is in charge so she has the right to tell me what to do.

 

Urg... I wish. The end is in sight but far far away.

 

I just want to clarify... I never said military personnel couldn't think for themselves.
Only that they are conditioned over many years to follow rules and orders of superiors in the heirarchy unquestioningly.
Not the same.

 

Seems a fair few people on here underestimate the modern soldier to not only think for themselves, but function as an independent human being!
The reality is that they are capable, well trained INDIVIDUALS who use transformational leadership to inspire and motivate his/her subordinates.
Despite what Hollywood movies would have you believe, the military has been at the forefront of leadership for a long time now, recognising that you don’t have to be a born leader and that leadership can be taught.
Modern soldiers are strategic corporals, tasked with making decisions that can have huge repercussions, especially with military operations having the spotlight of embedded media reporting on their every move.
Maybe the uptake in ex military you are seeing is a reflection of their modern responsibilities and that they see handing over control as a brief escape from responsibility, as seen in the higher echelon jobs and roles that have fuelled the submissive communities since day for.

 

I actually have a fantasy about being locked up by some hot stud police officer As he teases me

 

I recently retired after 32 years as a police officer/supervisor, and for me it was the fact that someone else was making the decision about what happened. Chastity for me was just another way of showing my wife that I wanted her to be in charge of everything. being an officer your life is full of stress and being able to come home to a loving caring person who is willing to make the decisions makes your life bearable.

 

I know a fireman but I dont know if he has a Mistress. Hes nice tho.

 

As a current policeman I can say it does help with destressing. All day everyday day your having to make decisions for other people but when your home you can totally take that hat off and relax.