Vanilla to Owner

I will journal my transition from short term chasity play to follow my commitment to earn my wife's trust with me and hopefully her becoming my full time key holder. She has been reluctant but has begun to participate. I think she worries the chaffing and damages to my body are not controllable. We discussed and invested in new cage types.

Our efforts with 3 replacements from old cbx that were our Xmas have quickly shown us the need for better cage for long term use.

I followed the New Years resolution given to me by the wife to find a working comfortable solution if we are to continue locking me up.

I have sizing rings from MM in transit to evaluate a ring size that fits properly for wearing long periods that does not let me slip out. The 5mm size jumps are not keeping me secure in chastity.

This will be first step to a jailbird or queens keep. She likes the look of them providing ring sizing is the solution. They can provide the smaller diameter and short length needed to fit me.

I will update as I can.

 

Thank you, your comments are appreciated. I am brand new using blog tech.

 

Last night was eventful. For the first time in almost 3 years she accepted my offer for a massage. I Did not hesitate to do my very best to deliver a top notch massage . I almost fainted when she said yes. I paid special attention to her feet and toes, a favorite from past years.

I was in one of my Xmas gift cages have been trying all 3 since she presented the packages and had me open them Xmas Eve. When we had looked at new models I had left it that if she wanted to try some more chasity to let me know.

She told me to keep my distance and restrict touching her with anything but my hands. I followed that command. She seems to want to avoid contact or is testing me.

Unfortunately they are not being real successful but will use them until I can establish an order for customer mature metal cage. I ordered the size rings immediately when she gave me my new year resolution.

I don't want her to feel I have any hesitation on fulfilling her directive to find a long wear capacity cage. In the short time I will use the gifts as much as I can stand.

In our prior play with CB she tended to avoid touching it and would have me install and remove it. Her securing the new cages for Xmas was a total shock at Thanksgiving the internet window shopping was part of long conversation about a controllable option in regards of guarantee to my offer to be around close without expecting anything sexual for me.

I travel alot in my work but weekends and days in home office I frequently offer the the massage only with normally a quick NO or no thanks.

I keep my distance and don't make conversation on the cages unless she inquires first. Mostly if the are hurting me our causing damage. I just tell I am working with them all trying to keep one on as much as I can tolerate. I did tell her that i am trying with day and night testing. I had my steel cage with padlock on during massage but never allowed it to contact her body. I figure she may have heard the padlock rattle as I moved positions. No comments were made. I just rolled over after she declared that was enough.

She does not allow me in the bathroom with her at anytime for last few years. She considers it an invasion of her privacy. I avoid entering unless she requests my presence at anytime. I do not want her Scorn.

She will enter the bathroom with me having it in use although this is rare. Generally that is for body hair trimming including my head hair. She started trimming all my hair after about 8 years of marriage. She started with public hair trimming to match hers she like the feel I agreed especially during sex . Quickly she informed me she did not like my Gorilla hair, I just told her to trim it like she wanted. I have been trimmed to clippers minimum pretty much since. She summons me when she feels it is due to retrim. My body hair rarely will get to 1/8". Went through shaving for a brief period but she did not like my vast amount of ingrown hair issues. I was happy with that relief. My balls and shaft are the only shaved areas. She now days only trims my back and rear area's I cannot properly reach after I have done the rest for her review. She will touch up and chastise me for any spots I don't properly tend. I am careful to minimize missing events.

I hope the sizing rings show up soon. I hope she will get involved in my sizing efforts and testing. Won't push her but if she does not say something I will make the offer.

Once I get them, I will or hopefully we will be reaching out to Mature Metal for guidance based on her directive. After hearing their thoughts It will be her to choice of the cage model hopefully.

After that with her permission or her action the order will be placed. It appears they offer sizes small enough to fit me.

I will continue wherever the future takes this journey. Rebuilding her trust in me o. Whatever terms she wants. I have failed her and this is my fault. My improper masculine attitude and urges on things created her disgust with me. I will follow her lead and wishes. I hope my next 30 plus year's with her will only make her happy.

Happy to review any comments offered.

 

I sum it up simply as being a typical male concentrating on his own satisfaction blind to his better/superior side needs.

 

The wife asked me if I had update on when the sizing rings are due in. I told they were due ship on January 4th.

Her reply was "Don't forget you're New Year's Resolution ".

I have moved down to a 45mm ring with the Resin Sissy cage to see if I can handle it. 50mm I am sipping out. I think I need something between 45 and 50. Mature Metal offers more and smaller adjustments for ring.

I was happy that she was curious on my status to fulfill my quest.

 

We briefly spoke about PA while on MM website, at least for now don't think she is interested. Will see where we end up. How does that work for airport security checks? I still travel with work every month.

 

Good to know. Differently will a challenge and nerve racker.

 

"Transfer from my New Year New Journey "

Last night she took her shower early came back and declared go ahead and get yours we are going to bed early I want a massage! I wrapped up my stuff and headed to the bathroom.

I have managed 3 days in resin cage from Xmas only removing once a day to clean. After shower I switched to try one of the metal cages again.

Got into sleep gear and we shut down the TV and headed to bed. She got in bed after taking of her tshirt top but left her panties on, she even left her bed lamp on allowing me a brief view of her wonderful breasts. I proceeded to give her neck, back, legs and feet for over an hour of her directing my hands. I kept maximum spacing from her body and mine. The second round on her legs and feet she chose to drape them across my chest at a 90 degree angle. It was a wonderful feeling of having contact with me. This was the second massage in four days. The first was me having only hand contact.

It may not seem like much but this was the most skin to skin contact she has had with me in bed over a year. If I slide over next to her only get told to get on my half of the bed. Even on a night when she complains of being cold, my offer to slide next to for simple body heat is quickly rebuked.

This massage started with asking where did she want me positioned standing or in the bed. I was happy when she directed to get into bed. I carefully positioned with separation and only my hands to contact her less a little arm contact. I focused to not allow as much a brush of my body especially my caged pecker from cage. This was the same approach used the first time. So I was ecstatic when she directed to move around so she could change position and put her legs across my stomach to do round two on feet and legs. I massaged her until she declared " that's enough " . I even got a comment " that felt good " I could feel my precum wetness on my skin and panties during this whole process.

Dispite my wetness dripping out of the wire cage I never tried to get an erection. But even compared to the first massage event the amount of deposits were far greater. I cannot describe the feelings my body and mind processed as her legs caressed my stomach. Her body warmth and skin contact was beyond delight. The feelings in my stomach and groin were unique.

I went to the bathroom afterwards and decided to change undies. I had really messed the front with my fluids. I hung them o. The hamper side to dry during the night. I cleaned the cage and slipped on fresh panties. I elected to try and wear my steel cage through the night. It woke me a few times but made it till morning. I found the space between metal ribs allows occasional contact of my glans to my nylon panties these and other sensitive moments. The resin tube prevents this type of contact events. Overall was a decent night.

She as usual was up before me and went to bathroom for her morning routine and dressing. Per her directives we don't share the bathroom at the same time anymore, for many years. Typically the only shared time is only when she tells me it is time to cut my hair which I am overdue for but Holidays have been busy.

After she headed upstairs, we live in the basement of my son's house as a separate apartment. She daycares our granddaughter currently. We have everything downstairs including a mini kitchen capacity. Works well for us all beyond some extra care honoring our privacy for all.

I got up and changed for my day. My mind still floating on the high from last night. I stopped to draft this into my journal. I sit and wonder if this could happen again. I stayed in my cage but may have to switch back to the resin tube. As I move around the metal is starting to rub and may start chaffing me again. It certainly is creating sensations to the tip of my pecker.

"The rest of the days later"

 

The day continues Wife got done with daycare duty. Just came out of her shower to chill out. She asked me to come with her a moment. Followed her to bathroom she turns and says " would like you to explain this to me" She opened and reached into our clothes hamper. My heart dropped as she pulled out my panties from last night.

" I guess you did not realize I saw the color change in your panties when you returned to bed " . I did not know quite what to say her stern look told me she was upset. As she held them up displaying a 5 inch diameter crusty whitened stain spot.

I hung my head "Well, what's your excuse for this" . I was shaking she was pissed I figured , " Honey I can't help it nature does it" . " I take it you has an orgasim it wasn't a wet dream you changed after my massage or did you masturbate into your panties. if so you're still quick and premature you weren't gone but a couple of minutes.". " No I did not masturbate, no orgasim, I just leaked"

She looked at me and declared " I don't believe that, it's a bigger wet spot than when i allow you to rub off in your panties on my leg". She had a point about that. " honest it was just precum leaking, I massaged you well over an 90 minutes". " I was just excited and I have not jerked off in months " I instantly knew that was a bad remark. With fire in her eyes " you masturbate your little dick , jerking off is for well hung men, you know that". I am not supposed to use that word for reliving myself, Her normal term is ( do yourself or use your hand). Her position is pubescent boys masturbate, men jerk off.

" Honest i guess I was just backed and full, it felt wonderful being near you" . I felt this created a major disaster, if I had hidden them into the hamper was coursing through my mind. "I'm very sorry, I should have never hung them on the side of hamper but they were wet" .

She looked at me " I knew last night you swapped panties I would have checked the hamper anyway, your not smart enough too hide things from me". I apologized and told her really wasn't trying to hide just did not want to sleep with wet panties.

"Well they were certainly wet. I guess you cannot control yourself. that is why I don't let you close to me, I thought you wee behaving well. no trying to hump me Orrin off". " I promised you no demands or expectations, I regret my leaking but its natural".

" Well it certainly appears you have no control and probably never will, I will have to think about this, get your bath and turn in".

I am typing this while she is relaxing and watching a movie in the den. I am near tears, I probably just wrecked months of efforts trying to prove my mindset and changes. My stupid leaking juices, I screwed up bad. I dread our next conversation.

 

Two days have past with almost no words. Nothing on subject. I will out of town working through Friday. I guess I get to wait and Friday night or Saturday. Doubt this will be a call or text event.

 

Thanks. But very regrettable I created my mistake.

 

I am new to this thread and message process, my apologies.

Try to understand comment on possible postings to wrong thread. Were you directing that to me? StubHub

 

Thank you. I am a novice at this. Use computer quite a but not in this format.

 

I don't feel abused from this, think she just needs time. Plus I am out of state working. Figure this weekend she won't be silent anymore.

No control, I think see believes I either had an organism while massaging her without any rubbing or touching, or that I masturbated in my panties. Neither of which is the case. I can understand why she might think it I really leaked a large volume during the 90 plus minutes. No control nature did it I was surprised on the area effected but wrote it off to backed up fluids. I had no relief for several months of no masturbation excursions.

I will hear volumes I'm sure either Friday night or Saturday.

Fair or not it's her choice where to go from hear.

Thanks for your comments.