Training a man to have fewer orgasms

Discussion in 'Chastity and orgasm denial' started by Yearning1, Jul 21, 2021.

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  1. Yearning1
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    Yearning1 Member

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    My partner would like to do this to me. How is it done realistically? What method/schedule works? What rewards/punishments work?
     
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  2. TonyF25
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    My wife Sara and I have a agreement, signed by both of us . One of the items in the agreement is fairness. In fact my wife put it in the agreement.
    I like the submissive role, I crave to be dominated, humiliated, punished and most of all denied. I'm a cuckold , Sara is a hotwife . So I'm locked up 24 /7 Sara use to date men 3 or 4 times a week when we started. Now she has slowed down. She has a steady lover , a older man and they see each other twice a week. Sometimes for the evening, sometimes over night , sometimes for the weekend and sometimes long weekends. The deal is when she comes home if he satisfied her , which is usually the case , she unlocks me tells me all about the date and allows me to jerk off. So I live my sex life vicariously through her. I'm very small , very quick and only last once in a 3 a three or four day period.( see my pictures ) . So she is fair , if she gets off she allows me to pleasure myself. But by the same rule if he doesn't satisfy her Then I'm not unlocked. That is if for some reason she sees him but they don't have sex I get no release. If they have sex but she doesn't achieve orgasum she will unlock me let me stroke it then stop me and lock me back in so we feel the same sexual frustration.
     
  3. steph17
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    steph17 Junior Member

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    Do you not think it should be your wife asking ?
     
  4. Yearning1
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    Yearning1 Member

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    I'm on here. She isn't. So I'm asking. Sorry if that's a problem
     
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  5. bondinchas
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    #5 bondinchas, Jul 22, 2021
    Last edited: Jul 22, 2021
    Yes, easily done, simply by using chastity.
    I have now got to the stage where I don't want orgasms.

    What we did was set up a schedule of steadily increasing periods of chastity, with varying periods of non-chastity in between.
    This is the schedule we used:
    1 day, 2 days, 4 days, 1 week, 2 weeks, 1 month, 2 months, 3 months, 6 months, 1 year.

    When you accomplish a new period, you move on to do the next one.
    I managed to get up to the two month period completed, with only a few days uncaged in between any of the chastity periods, but then real life got in the way for a year, but I'm now back on track. We started by scheduling fixed dates in the diary, but of course, when other things force you to, just adjust the plan.

    We never used punishments, just obedience, if my wife demands something, then she most often gets her way. I say most often because in theory we have a democratic relationship, but in practice she dictates and I worship the ground she walks on. Obviously every couple's dynamic is different, you need to find what works between you to keep to the schedule.
    A punishment for misdemeanours that many use is add days or weeks to the current chastity period, or to not give you your next scheduled orgasm, just move straight to the next period. That also has the advantage of contributing to your goal of orgasm denial.

    When you get past the one and two month period stages, you'll find that your desire for orgasms will drop off quite a lot, and once you're past that stage, you are ready to be chaste as your default and preferred way of being. This is down to the time it takes for your hormones to adjust after a full orgasm, which can take weeks, not just days.

    Using this method you can build up to periods of orgasm denial of longer than a month quite easily within three months from starting.
     
  6. subrick
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    subrick Junior Member

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    Yearning1,

    You said you want fewer orgasms. My first question is do you wish to include male chastity in this endeavor, or are you going to use the "honor system"?

    If you wish to use male chastity, do you have a device? And if so, how long can/have you worn that device consecutively? For example: a few hours, overnight, two days 24/7, a week, etc.

    Obviously, wearing a chastity device, in my opinion, makes it easier to enforce orgasm denial. Although most devices will allow a man to orgasm by use of a properly placed vibrator or other stimulation. So to some extent, you'd still be on the "honor system", but the cage is a constant reminder and hopefully a deterrent to masturbating.

    If you don't have a chastity device, yet, then I suggest you start researching the various types and read the reviews members have posted.

    Good Luck,

    ~subrick
     
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  7. Jon_Grey
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    this can be done in many ways. But its better to do it slowly to prevent relapse.

    First step is to regularise or give up masturbation. Count how many times you came from masturbation in the past month. Your goal is half of it in the current month. You can make it monitered masturbation schedules or use sissy/censored porn to make you disinteredted in it. stopping it completely is always the best.

    Then make your orgasm goals to equal your wife. Whenevr she has one, you can have one after that. Keep decreasing this ratio. like go from 1:1 to 10:1

    Chastity can play a major role, as it takes the choice out of your hands. When you get better at pleasing her with your tongue and fingers, she will no longer need your cock.
     
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  8. mcfeely
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    mcfeely Active member

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    Not sure why you want to do this. Life is short and you could be dead tomorrow. If you get pleasure from this, fine, if you are doing it because someone asks you to and you don't get pleasure/satisfaction from it, then I wouldn't go down that path. Women are a lot like entitlement programs, once you give in its tough to take it back.
     
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  9. Susanstoy91
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    I guess my Wife(KH) has trained me. This morning, after a good teasing. My Wife told me I could cum for her. She brought me to the edge. I have to tell her just before I cum, so she can stop all contact with my penis. I told her that I was very close. She then asked me if I was sure I wanted a orgasm. When she says that, it means(To me) that I really shouldn't. I told her I understood what she wanted. She made me masturbate for 15 seconds, then said "hands off". My penis just twitched a few times then she watched as I put my cage back on. I never have a orgasm without my Wife's permission. She will let me get right to the edge and then put a stop to any release, unless she wants me to cum. She has me trained to cum when she wants or to stop seconds before a orgasm.
     
  10. Yearning1
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    Yearning1 Member

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    Very interesting replies
     
  11. Trapped
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    To me its kind of the whole point of chastity. while locked i have fewer orgasms. I cant play with myself like i used to, and i'm denied by my wife, less orgasms. We don't have a reward system only punishments for not doing what is expected of me and my behavior and chores. The only training for me is obediance so that my frequency is not extended. If i am good i get about 4-5 a year the way thing are going right now.
     
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  12. Thomas Gangman
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    As you get older, the need or ability to have orgasms diminishes a great deal but are still something to look forward to having. Chastity also restricts when and how you have them and the ratio of hers to mine. I need medication to get an erection and when taken, I can hammer nails into a 2X4. However, it now takes hours to get a second erection if one does happen at all.

    Now if I don't take medication, I can still orgasm from her sucking or pulling on my cock. This also applies for when I still had the ability to turn on a porno flick, grab the lube, and rub one out. The pleasure of self gratification has been denied me the moment my wife locked my cock into a cage. Now she has total control of when, how, and if I get to have an orgasm.

    We are not into the hardcore chastity lifestyle, but use it as an extension of an imaginative game. Yes, she does control my cock, but its something we agree on doing. She does take more control on occasion, but in the long run has really made some things really hot. I can be caged while her and a GF pleasure each other and when she does free me a day or two later, lets me have great time with her. The teasing during the week, sometimes denial for the weekend only raises the temp to an inferno when free. My one orgasm may be less of the 10 she gets over the 2 weeks, but it does make it all the more pleasurable.

    Then there is the mind games, being caged, stuck in a pillory, her finger in my ass, and a vibrator against my cage whispering secrets in my ear. How hot it would be for her GF to take my ass with her strap on, or her cucking me while all I can do is watch. While they are my fantasies and not hers, it does make it amazing when I do have those caged orgasms.

    Gee, I love this lifestyle.
     
  13. true42
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    In our case, we have sex whenever she wants it, however she wants it.

    The rest of the time, I don't have sex, and I am not permitted to masturbate.

    So that has reduced my orgasms by 90% or so.
     
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  14. branded_hubby
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    Step one - get pierced. Step two - stretch to something sensible like a 2 gauge. Step three - select and install chastity device with PA securing. Step Four - Hand key to you're partner. That should take care of it.

    I’m only partially kidding by the way. Just be aware that what you think you’re getting into and what she has planned for you might be two different things. You’ll be quite surprised what a determined dominant woman can get away with. ;)
     
  15. Andy80
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    I have been fascinated for a while by members on Chastity Mansion who write that they no longer want orgasms (often it seems to me because they have been locked for months, perhaps even longer).

    Is that because you have lost complete and total interest in orgasms - for example, you no longer have any physical or mental urges - or because the on-going arousal of denial in long term chastity is more rewarding, or something else?

    I ask this because in my longest periods locked - about two months - I've definitely experienced a really satisfying near constant high after several weeks, that I would never have imagined before I discovered chastity, but fundamentally I still dream of future orgasms, and look forward to the day my KH allows me to have one. So I definitely still want orgasms, just I enjoy a more prolonged period of denial than I did in my early days.

    If I absolutely lost total interest in orgasms altogether, I'm not sure I'd have any need for the cage. I would sort of feel what's the point of chastity without the on-going thrill of orgasm denial, unless it's something others have discovered about complete non-sexual satisfaction through lifestyle submission.
     
  16. TonyF25
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    For me the urge never goes away, never. But then I think of the frustration my wife experiences because I can't satisfy her. There is my frustration at trying but not beagle to satisfy her.. it is much better to let her go out and get what she needs. Then come home and tell me about it, unlocking me and let me pleasure myself , where I can live my sexlife in my imagination, through her vicariously.
     
  17. subrick
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    Andy80, I can't speak for everyone. For me, I'm still interested in orgasms, it's just that now all of my interest is in Her orgasms, not mine. When She has Her orgasm, I am right there next to Her, holding Her, massaging Her, whispering into Her ear, stimulating Her nipples...whatever She asks me to do. Basically, I'm Her "orgasm assistant".

    Oftentimes, at Her request, there is a silk tie around my balls and She holds the other end. The better Her orgasm, the harder She pulls, and when She hears me grunt, it turns Her on even more. This really helps to physically connect us during Her orgasm. (She discovered during this lockup that She REALLY enjoys tormenting my balls. No complaints here, either!)

    But with or without the silk tie strangling my balls, I feel a great release from Her orgasm, just like I felt from my own. BUT...the major difference is that after Her orgasm, I'm still horny as heck for Her and continue to massage, kiss, stroke, lick, whatever She asks while She floats down from Her high. So, I really get the full psychological benefit of an orgasm without any of the "let down" I get after a physical orgasm. And She LOVES all of the attention I continue to give Her after Her orgasm. Oftentimes until She drifts off to sleep.

    So, I really don't miss my orgasms because my Loving KeyHolding Wife is willing to share Her orgasms with me. It's been a win-win since we started this lock-up. I honestly feel that as long as this continues, I would have no problem if I never had an orgasm of my own again. And when I mention that to Her, She gets a sly little smile on Her face and says something along the lines of "Ok, I'll keep that in mind."

    But in full disclosure, we've been married for 30 years, we've been intimate with each other for more than 40 years, I'm 60 and have some ED issues along with taking blood pressure medication. While I'm sure I could medically probably return to my former "hardness" IF I really was so inclined, I just don't have the desire to do that. She was losing interest in PIV and She was getting weary of having to finish me off with a BJ after Her orgasm every time. (Let's just be clear...SHE was getting weary of it, I LOVED them!!!! LOL) But I think that's why She would avoid sex, is that She knew She had to satisfy me as well. Not that She didn't want to satisfy me, just that it was too much effort for Her to bring Herself to an orgasm and then have to worry about me. Quite frankly, since my Love has locked me up this round, we have had more intimacy and orgasms than probably the entire 5 year, maybe even 10 year, period before that. By far. So, I'd rather be in the situation I'm in now, than be hard & horny, but have to masturbate to porn every day for my release. Where we are now is MUCH BETTER for BOTH of us. Especially for Her, and that's what it's all about.

    ~subrick
     
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  18. nikkel
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    nikkel Active member

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    I agree with you . I been caged in the past for several months at a time . Now that my Queen has uncaged me ,after only a week or 2, I miss being caged, and have not j/o in the few days I have been released. I'd say to not have orgasms is a far greater thrill than having one big O then loosing interest in sex for a while ,be it minutes ,hours, or days . I'm uncaged but still in the same state of arousal that foreplay brings , I don't want to loose it for one minute of sexual excicity
     
  19. Bill249017
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    I can recognise several of your comments here. I have really surprised myself with how I can get so much pleasure out of wife’s orgasms. I’ve only been in chastity for 3 weeks, but my wife has received pleasure at my hand and mouth every couple of days. My cock has been caged throughout, and whilst it strains against my cage as we are making love it receives no attention- and have I missed it? Amazingly, no. It has been an eye opener how much I can get my pleasure through my wife of 34 years, without my cock and all the mess that brings. I would never have believed that a month ago, but I have lived it.
    Would I miss never having more orgasms? Probably, I have gone from 2-3 times a week to nil. A bit like drug withdrawal. Chastity cage has allowed it, and I’m a new man as a result.
     
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  20. Andy80
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    Thank you subrick - and to everyone who has also contributed their replies to my question - I feel much more enlightened now, and the idea of not wanting orgasms long-term is starting to make much more sense for me. Sounds pretty amazing and hot too!

    There are so many depths to chastity, and so much more to discover.
     
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  21. Yearning1
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    Yearning1 Member

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    Any more tips on training a guy to orgasm less?
     
  22. nikkel
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    nikkel Active member

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    I agree , What you concluded , is so true. Pleasing your Lady ,and not oneself is what chastity is all about .
     
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  23. Bill249017
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    Fully agree!
     
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  24. Straponlover79
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    I went from 1 a day by masturbation to 1 a week to at the moment 1 every 3 to 4 weeks.....
    Counting since early march-2021.
    Locked up almost 24/7

    For me it was to control masturbation/porn issues.

    Only the wife likes the state of mind it bri gs me in so now inly a orgasm when she feels needed.
    Mostn9f the time a ruined one and sometimes a full depends on her nood and what she wants.

    The bottom line is you don't train it its just what youre wife/kh wants qnd you have to deal with it...
     
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  25. Yearning1
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    Yearning1 Member

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    That sounds like quite rapid and effective training.
     
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