Too much fantasy

And there is nothing wrong with that if they don’t try and pass it off as reality. It’s why we have a fiction section. But sadly, too many are as yiu describe and try to pass their fantasies as reality.

I’ve been very fortunate to do many cool things. And for the people you describe, I suggest talking with their partner. They’d be surprised how open most folks are to spicing things up if they take a few risks. I always suggest trying some small things, make them fun and memorable and it’s amazing how bigger and bigger things can and will happen. But it takes guts, and vulnerability. And that seems to be in limited supply in this day and age.

 

this right here, this is the truth.

 

This is true. Most of the kink sites are populated by fakes and Web warriors. It's your task to fter them out and find the good, genuine lifestyles that are here.
There's nothing wrong with expressing fantasies as long as its clear that's what you're doing. For genuine practitioners there are still loads of real folks here.
It's always difficult and always annoying.
I used to be on a site called spank et, which is a UK aimed discipline site. Out of about 50 women I talked with all were fakes except two. I no longer go there.
And yet, genuine folks are there. It just takes more time and effort to connect with them these days.
Women find it hard to find genuine sub men too because they get bombarded with thousands of messages and the good guys get lost in the background noise. I think it's the nber one reason Women give up searching online. I feel for them.

 

@Chastie_MM yes you rigt bout men cos a lot am always want things. but i like to say hello to new folks on here and say welcome to them as well.

 

It can be hard for newbies and its always worth welcoming them. Often they're inexperienced and not sure how to approach things so we should always give them the benefit of the doubt.
Being nice is cost free.

 

I’ve been very fortunate that I’ve lived in places with very active BDSM communities. So while there are tons of fakes there are lots of folks who go to munches, educationals and parties.

The reality is people who want to make this a lifestyle can. And those who don’t can live it in a fantasy land online.

I’ve mentioned before that even this site had get togethers and they were amazing. But to bring in people from all over the world and have a big event is a lot of work. And it costs money. And if people don’t step up to help and show up they won’t happen. Hence the Mistress who hosted them stopped.

I will say that if someone wants to find others then go to munches, make friends and get involved. Munches are starting up. Likewise stop being afraid and put yourself out there. If not, you’ll never make friends and find what you seek. Finally, too many are afraid to fail. But only by failing have I met so many great folks. Folks who have become friends, lovers, mistresses etc.

 

Excellent post!!

 

yEAH i HAVE THOUGHT THE SAME THING READING SOME STORIES HERE .

 

I’m a real person with out any bs stories. I’m so new to all of this I actually don’t have any good stories. I’m still waiting on my first cage. I do like to pick others brains and ask questions. Send me a message. I’ll tell you about my experiences so far with my wife.

 

Yep ,way to many fakes. That's why I posted photos of me showing the whip marks, wearing my cage. and cleaning the house..

 

Does it matter to you if strangers think you're fake?? Why care? I certainly don't.

 

I too have noticed over 50% pure fantasy, but I guess that's the norm for these sites .. I still spotted a few that seemed down to earth real.. They are worth browsing the fakes to find the realones.

 

Yeah it does , I look down on those writting their fantasies, and would rather not be suspected of being one of them .

 

Hmmm.....

 

Our experience is real. My wife and I have practiced role reversal since we met 30 years ago, and I have been in chastity for approximately 20 years, with small breaks, but always for long periods of use, always withdrawing for hygiene. Orgasm is not prohibited or avoided, but always with her fucking me. Since the beginning of our relationship I started to wear panties and other feminine clothes indoors. We live in the southern region of Brazil (State of Paraná). (My English is bad, that's why I'm using the translator...)

 

I have to say that this site is a lot better than others in this respect, and some other annoying patterns that I have seen creeping in elsewhere. I have found everyone here very welcoming to be honest. Yes, there probably are some fantasy type posts on here but when I have spoken to people they are all really nice.


On sites like Fetlife and Reddit I find loads of what seem to be young and less experienced people posting up loads of posts going on about kink labels I've never heard of before! They seem obsessed with precisely defining the labels they wish to be associated with, which rather confuses me. None of this stuff existed in the 80s and 90s as I recall. "So I am thinking about become a Bratty Wolfkin sub and was just wondering if there is any special equipment my Daddy Dom will need to buy...." stuff like this! And there are so many of them, they litter the whole forums. And bloody anime cartoon pictures!

Sorry! Just needed to vent!

 

i am not allow on the Fetlife one and i not hear of the Reddit but i glad you like it here.

 

There ARE good, genuine people on both Reddit and Fetlife. However, Reddit is mostly a dumpster fire of college kids screwing around. Fetlife is home to the truly deranged. There are weirdos everywhere, but the weirdest of the weird are on Fetlife! Sometimes you’ll see something on Fetlife and just walk away from your computer for the rest of the day. It’s totally unsupervised and there are pictures of butts and feet everywhere.

 

Right now, If I could unlock myself and stop this experiment, I would in a second. It’s painful. Aching and very uncomfortable Not the erotic ‘can’t masturbate’ pain or frustration. I woke last night 4 or 5 times from nocturnal (attempted) erections. My balls were swollen. The ring was a noose. Now, in the morning, my balls feel sore and bruised from a night of that. This happens often. The pain gets worse in the day at every attempt at an erection. The last thing I want to think about I’d goddess Mandi or any beautiful woman. And when I do talk with her (or any woman), I do my best to focus on her words, not her ass.

There is nothing fun in this. The only way I find relief is not thinking of her or any woman., to sit still in my comfortable chair, and maybe read a book. When the attempted erections go away, the discomfort eases.

Goddess knows me well. When I’m like this, she often gives me the time I need. She doesn’t unlock me - but I get the peace and time I need. But other times she parades in front of me in yoga pants

A strong desire to be a better man, and the erotic nature of chastity is why I got locked up. Now, I’d take this thing off in a second if I could.

 

For how long have you been locked?

 

A month.

 

can you ask if you can have it tooked off for a little bit. it must be a lot worser for a man i think.

 

My key holder is an exceptional woman. She knows and decides everything with regards to me. I don’t suggest anything to her - I did that early on and felt her cane because of it.

She is taking me to place and mindset that is going to be great.

 

Me neither, although I did misinterpret some things and get ahead of myself (well, mostly my wife). I thought we were full speed ahead--and my wife has said several times she loved the changes in my behavior and attitudes--but it turned out I had to put on the breaks and just heal: I have also had a devil of a time finding a device I could wear for more than 7 or 8 days without getting rubbed raw up behind my balls. No locktober for me.

I've tried everything from vaseline, to lube, to CeraVe... once the burn fires up, it only gets worse.

I've ordered not one but two new devices and won't be getting locked up again until they get here, which is probably at least a few more days away.

I was really bummed because my wife was starting to get the hang of the teasing. She didn't have to stop, I suppose, but we both got busy and without the excuse of the cage things have really cooled off. Ever the optimist, I think we can both get back into it, though. The cage is a nice catalyst, if you get my drift.

 

BS is everywhere. It’s part of life. I’ve never posted anything on this forum claiming I did something that I didn’t. One thing about the forums, is it gives some people who are “in their heads” outlets. I’ve been fortunate to live in a big city and try lots of things with my wife. Even then, life has ups and downs. Friends who have *some* idea of what we do, can have inflated imaginations about what we do. Real life gets in the way all the time.

Covid and other life events really slowed the last two years down for us, but stuff we’ve really done over 25 years: gone to swingers clubs, gone to BDSM clubs, been watched by people we know, been watched by anonymous people. Wife has dated people we found on Internet - men and women - had multiple dates and hook ups with same woman - who mildly humiliated me in a bar - sent me photos of hook up. Watched her with a man once. Occasional cross dressing - sometimes public - once at a drag show. Been to a cross dressing boutique many times. Frequent tease and denial. Sometimes very long term denial. Pegging. Written contract we are trying to abide by. Watched numerous burlesque shows from rated PG-13 to rated X. Played with pro dommes, once with an added male.

Munches can be great. We’ve gone with friends.

I lost 40 pounds because she insisted. I started running at her instance, joined runners clubs, and have done multiple marathons.

When thing are good, we do mild things daily - hot talk - playing around. When things are really good we might do some more serious play a few times a year. When things are bad, they go on a shelf and the toys get dusty. I have friends with different interests, but over the long haul there are ups and downs.

I am sure we are more sexual than most of our friends who have been in long term marriages. We have friends who have been through bad marriages and are sometimes curious about what we do. I’m surprised at the hang ups people can let go of when they’ve been through life.

If you are patient and approach people with an open mind, and some confidence, you can be surprised what interests them. I was taught women have no kinks, which is definitely not the case. I’ve watched porno-hot women get it on in all kinds of ways at clubs.

The real stuff takes work. Take care of yourself, treat others with respect, and try to be comfortable in your own skin. Still, I don’t blame people who come here, get some shit out of their head or off their chest, wank, and go away for a while.