Too much fantasy

Sounds jealous

 

Self locked?

 

If you are into it for real you should be able to sort out the reality CM is still a great resource for those of us trying to figure it out, a great place to vent feelings as muddle along and even the fantasy stories can be entertaining and spark ideas . Hell Starwars wasn't real and most people enjoyed the crap out of it

 

Fantasy is great , but Star Wars wasn’t pretending to be real. It’s more helpful to know what is real and what is fantasy. If someone isn’t trying to fake something, why wouldn’t they just use the specific fiction area in the site?

 

Because some get off on passing their fiction and seeing who believes it.

Personally I think it’s childish, but on many do it. Unfortunately, it makes it so some of us won’t share some things because we don’t want to be labeled one who makes crap up.

in my case, I’m very fortunate to have had some amazing experiences, so I just share them when it’s relevant to a discussion.

 

In relationships, there is such a variety of realities that no fantasy can imagine. As well as the opposite. Start creating the reality you need. It is difficult, but possible.

 

Okay. I haven't read the posts here. But here is my situation about fantasy.

If chastity is part of who I am today, the reality of living it with another person frighten me like hell. Hence the fantasy for me: I'd like to in a relationship with a Mistress, or a KH. I wish to love her and more. Even better, having a child with Her.

But reality is, as I said, frightening me.

Am I ready for what I want? I don't think I'll be one day. So, I prefer to keep in for myself and dream for nothing...

 

Completely agree, and the whole "partners visit the site" is a big complication when you consider...

Those of us who spend more time browsing around here have a pretty good radar for what is true and what is wankfest fantasy. We also have an idea of the difference between what is possible vs what is common. There are people who do very extreme things, but they're not representative of the majority enjoying this kink. We also know that even though there are people who pair chastity with other kinks, there's no absolute requirement all the kinks discussed here have to be included with chastity.

But our partners frequently don't have enough info to know any of that.

So it's easy for the wankfest fantasies or the extreme outliers or the additional kinks to turn them off of being our keyholders because they don't want a sissy cuckhold who's penis has shrunk, but a bunch of posters make it sound like that's the ultimate outcome of male chastity.

Considering the huge number of posts that take some form of "wow, you guys with keyholders sure are lucky, I wish I could convince my wife to do it, but she's not interested", I think it's beyond merely rude to frighten the partners who are willing to give it a try with bs that they aren't equipped to filter out yet.

Frankly, CM as a site has pretty good subforums for things - it would be polite to make more use of those with an eye towards helping new people feel comfortable while they get aclimated.

 

I think chastity means different things for different people:

It can mean temporary chastity during sex.
It can mean a lifestyle with a Domme with or without becoming a sissy.

It can mean a way to stop bad habit - masturbation.

It plays with personality - sub-dom, role play, gender issues, sexual orientation issues as well.

Chastity is viewed as a kink or weird by most people. Not many people around us can share in the discussion. So being here breaks that isolation.

Some men might not know at first why they’re driven here. It can be scary and confusing too to read about other men’s lifestyles. Does chastity imply cross dressing ? Does it imply bi activities ? Does it imply opening up the relationship ? What does it mean for single men ?

Lots of issues in the same chstroom.

I agree that bs fantasies posted as real csn be frustrating. But I think it’s important to let the curious men explore, ask questions and play with their fantasies. It’s a positive way to explore and becoming true to yourself.

Even when people bs here, it’s a way to express themselves. Testing limits. Playing with fantasy before acting on it. Like young adults horsing around figuring out who they are. Actually it’s cute if you have found your own way : you can appreciate how far you’ve come yourself. Not everybody is as lucky as you are.

 

As a new member of a person who has difficulties in explaining things. I found CM very resourceful for our new roles as a sub or as a key holder. So thank you.

 

fear is a crazy thing.

I’d suggest you evaluate it.
I was shy when I started in this lifestyle. But I sucked it up and went to events, munches, parties and such. I’ve served some amazing Dommes. Most very beautiful. All very intense.

I’m saying this not to brag but to let you know that if I didn’t suck up my fear it would still be fantasies for me. Instead I’ve had many incredible experiences, some so intense I don’t post as people would think I’m making them up.

So when you can, suck up the fear. And take some chances. It’s scary and it’s hard, but you’ll find that reality is much more interesting than fantasy when you start living.

 

Fantasies are the kink of our sexual nature. It beautiful and you can't avoid it.

You can't avoid bullshit either and you can't avoid troll. You have to live with it.

Contamination comes everywhere. As soon as there is freedoms, there is abuse. Don't expect ChastityMansion to be pure and saints. There will be up and down, good things and bad things.

We probably are a part of this contamination and we can be the remedies. We are human being full of shit and goods.

Some seeks for sincerity, they may not fullfil their heart here. You have to juge not on some evens but the overall.

Chastitymansion is here for people who wants to socialize with others their kinks. There will be bullshit, there will be goods things. Some will see fun and play, others will be outrageous.

That's the price to be together. Those who are seeking for perfection won't find it anywhere.

Chastity is A CHOICE. as you choose your car, your house, your boyfriend or girlfriend. There is things you don't have control: storm, famine, sinkeness.

Fantasies are a construct of the boring secular life melted with everyone imagination who take source from sociological contexts and sexually. IT IS A MARVELOUS THINGS.

When we were young, we were non-stop playing with toys and our imagination.

When we are adults, don't expect this mechanism to cease. it's reincarnated in the sexuality. We play with another person with ours bodys and... toys...

So all of us can give ourselves some slacks and tolerate everyone to be a little messed up!

I like reading fantasies, they turn me on. And I like it. It does my brain get in fire and i like it.

Others may be uncomfortable in their skin and seeks for help. Chastity Mansion can't get a role of a psychologist therapy. It may help but it's not is main purpose. Chastity Mansion is there to share, learn and PLAY. And I can be shure that it's there too to give some help and directions.

But as long you understand that's a FORUM with full of strangers, we have to put all things in perspective.

 

I agree. Lately everyone is living in a dream world when reality is kicking our ass. If a person wishes to Express themselves in fantasy or reality so be it who are we to judge them. If you don't care for it then don't read it. This is what I do.
One person's fantasy is another person's reality or ones reality is anothers fantasy.

 

So you think people should post whatever they want here?

If that’s what you’re saying, then you don’t get it. We have a fiction section here and that’s where it belongs. The rest of the site is for discussion on chastity and relationships. And the site has been a success because it’s not flooded with what call wank fodder.

 

From what I have seen and read on this website so far is people already post whatever they want here. From what type of cage is good to what colour of shoes to wear. Should I be punished to I had fun last night. ( no I am targeting anybody specifically just a general description) Now after saying that, yes i do get it and there is a lot of good people on here with valuable advice and holding great conversations in the respectful forums on various topics.
Some of the conversations in different areas under different topics were very helpful to me and my kh/wife in making chasity work for us. Even if it was real experiences or not.
Yes I do believe If you are going to place a post on the site, then post it in the right place and respect the CM rules for the website.
What I also saying is when people say they can detect bullshit from reality.
I just laugh.
Everybody experiences are different from one and another. as much it sounds fake or not.
In general are you personnally there when it happened.
Do you have reliable sources to confirm truth from fiction.
I don't think so!
So my question is "who are we to judge another persons story to be true or not?"
If you don't like it then don't read it.
Again I am not targeting anybody. This is just a response.

 

I want to clarify better what I meant: the main point of my post is to be tolerant of each other.

And of course, it is important to respect the instructions and rules of the site. It is there for a reason, to avoid chaos.

What I meant as a side idea: misplaced stuff will happen, knowing that, let's be tolerant, we are all potential idiots each of us. I don't mean to suggest ignoring or not taking action on an issue, but doing everything as elegantly as possible and not taking it too personally.

 

I appreciate I am a new member and so have yet to be able to prove my authenticity one way or another. But its the internet. There is bullshit and bravado everywhere. I am a member on another ... lets just say quite extreme site, I won't go into the detail ... and you get so many wannabes. Particularly over lockdown, it is as if all the horny men who are unable to go to work have decided to spend their time working on their fantasies instead.

It winds me up sometimes. Particularly when you get cancellation after cancellation after cancellation. But as others on this other site have said, I need to avoid that, because it is only when I get frustrated about having my time wasted that it personally affects me. Me complaining about timewasters is not going to stop people from wasting my time.

So I need to learn to more sanguine about it (still trying). And I think the same argument holds true for this thread. You'll never weed out all the wannabes, even if it became a private members-only (paid) site you'd still get wannabes. So the only way of counteracting that is to either stop using the site or try to not let the bullshit affect you. If you enjoy the site, then I would recommend the latter over the former, because there will be wannabes on every single other site too (e.g., Fetlife).

 

Heres some reality:
Ive been self locking for 15 years - and sex free for the same time period. Chastity devices seem to be instant turn offs for men or women that ive met. So the search continues. Its something I enjoy and would love to take to higher levels, but for now I just do it solo.

Im sure my true story is similar to the reality many guys face... which is why there is so much BS fantasy on the internet - otherwise it be depressing.

 

thats sad for you and i hope you can find somebody nice to have you soon.

 

lol thanks...

 

I agree with jemima, it’s sad.

I’ve been involved with the BDSM community for over 20 years. I’ve seen some who aren’t interested in chastity devices, but over the years I’ve seen the popularity really grow. So I wonder why you can’t find what you seek.

If I can offer one thing it’s to be a person first. Keep the kinks as a part of you but not the first thing. Get to know folks and let them get to know you. You may find that this opens doors and makes you seem like a regular person, not one of the many online wankers who only care about their kinks.

With all that’s going on, it’s hard to meet folks, so imho it’s even more important to do what you can to get to know others and to let the kink come in at the right time vs making it the primary thing to build on.

 

Another dull poster with a blinkered view of reality based on unimaginative experiences.

I think these posts are the most boring kind.

 

Ive tried traditional dating sites - and don't just lay it on them. But eventually as you build a connection you have to tell them - and its always been a relationship killer.

Ive tried places like fetlife being 100% upfront and open with it, and everyone is either 1000s of miles away or just interested in online chat.

This whole covid thing definitely put the brakes on it too.

Im not a perv about chastity - for me its just part of the daily routine. Im sure the right person will come along one day - till then ill just stay locked up.

 

I'm not sure what to tell you. Yes Covid is an issue. But I’ve never had an issue with being bi, kinky or into chastity. Of course I do tend to make sure women I get involved with are open minded, kinky and usually bi. But that’s just what works for me and it’s worked in a big city and in a rural area.

 

Im not complaining - but the sad reality for many people is that their bedroom life is boring - so they make stuff up to spice up their online life.